Saturday, December 10, 2022

Oxlade-Chamberlain hits U21 hat-trick

Soon to be best player in the whole wide entire universe ever, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, hit a hat-trick tonight for England U21s against Iceland.

The youngster, who will soon be so awesome that that Lionel Richie fella at Barcelona will be his outright bitch, staked his claim for a place in the Arsenal team by scoring not once, not twice, but thrice against the nation who foisted Bjork upon the world. And you would have to say that they deserve it for that.

The Ox’s first was [insert explanation of goal here], the second saw him put the ball past the keeper and into the net and he repeated that feat for the third. Eye-witness reports say the goals were of impeccable quality.

It means he’s now scored 5 goals in his last 3 appearances and will beg questions as to why he wasn’t on the bench to at least chuck on against the Twitchy powered piss-drinkers, but surely Arsene Wenger can’t ignore him for next weekend’s game against Sunderland.

All hail The Ox. I for once welcome our new Ox overlord.

The goals.

Related articles



newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

All the naysayers that were claiming we spent far too much on him are no doubt eating their words now


Insert explanation here is my favourite description of a goal ever.


Gotta say I was one of those barking but hell, the kid looks mighty fine to me!


A hattrick, two of them peaches, the third was especially brilliant. He’s “super” quality, easily the best in the U21 squad at 18, big, big future and very glad Arsene signed him.

*Touches Wood*. No Homo.

Alpha t

A hattrick and 2 peaches?? theres no end to this boys talent!
Back in my day we were only allowed oranges lol

If ur no homo, why touch wood?


You were lucky!


All hail the Ox.


Why iz e not 99 skillZ points on FIFA 12!!! He iz like da messi/drogba mega-mix. Nuff sed! Wicked! Brrapp brrapp Dench (and what ever else it is that these young kids explet, from under their hoodies now adays.)


Any chance of rewriting that in English?


any chance of not being snarky? not sure i get it either but the dude’s trying to be funny.


“Soon to be???” He’s already better than Rooney, Rooney’s fat dad, Rooney’s obese uncle, Rooney’s leviathan cousin, Barack Obama, Bourbon, and the Beatles.


…and Shane Richie.


…soon he will be better than Eboue, early days though… 😉

seriously though HE IS FREAKING AWESOME


Good Luck to the boy. and I love him to bits but he cannot defend. He has some way to go. Please everyone… I know we are searching for a hero but he is not ready. I know I will be cut down with examples of players who are at the forefront of their team at his age.. but Arsenal already have a defensive problems AND by including him into the first team we only add to the panic. BUT REALLY…. OXTAIL……. IS ROCKING AT PRESENT… GO… VAMOS


How is he any worse defensively than Walcott or Arshavin? Please…


Interesting, I always wonder though why no-one mentions our defensive midfielder who is more often than not caught out up front. Its easy to pick on the two attacking wingers though I guess…good lad Alex on a nice start. Showing a lot of potential but let’s not throw him to the lions yet.

Oh and nice write up blogs, I did have alittle chuckle.


I rest my case


You are quite right. He needs to work on the defensive aspect of his game..with this he would be all round and extremely useful to the team. He is not ready but i take it that with the cup games and occasional cameo here and there in the EPL he will get enough playing time. He has a big big future…so does the England national team. A lot of talent coming through the ranks…..Hart, Smalling, Phil Jones, Cahill, Gibbs, Henderson, Lansbury, Wilshere, AOC, Carroll etc….


Arsenal needs some new heros, Cesc, Nasri and Eboue gone and Wilshere crocked. I’d lke to see the Ox, Frimpong, Coq, and Miyachi to step up and change the face of Arsenal. Im afraid that the Arsenal of the last five years is gone and many of those players may be too tramatized or just too jaded. If some of the new talent comes good and player get back from injury then Arsenal could be very strong. I am very positive about the future This team has great mental strength, we just play with the handbrake on sometimes. When Wilshere… Read more »


Wenger is that you?


Lmao my thoughts exactly haha


Not that they’re the same type of player but the Mighty Ox might give Ramsey some good competition for a midfield spot.


We where all wondering what possible impact an 18 yr old could make, but sometimes ya just get a special one.

Oh and I notice Blogs has stopped calling him oxencart-chamberpot, wonder why? ;p


I bloody hope so.


I for another welcome our new Ox overlord.

No one shouts “unluckly Theo” at him very much do they?

Sooo, Him, jakie, hopefully that Cambell bloke over at Lorient, Jon Toral, SZCZ in goal, Myachi, Coq, Miquel, Bellerin, Aneke that dutch dude, Watt.

I know with been here before but christ on a fucking shopping trolley the next generation looks good.

(And Sp*rs are gonna go Bankrupt, their academy looks shit and they don’t have more money for another load of semi-‘s)


Season already hinges on him, no pressure.


Ah I love Arseblog and its Simpsons references

I cent

Dude looks good,i jst knew he was good d moment i tot of wenger paying 12/15m for an english teenager afta the walcott experience(no disrespect 2 theo) i say we should apply the handbrake on him n bring him in slowly n steadily.


Iceland’s left back was pony, but nevertheless Ox steamrollered him


7am-and Theo!


Surely it was an easy decision to give him sum part vrs the cocks at the weekend, fucks sake the lads buzzing…the club shud let the fans pick the starting line cos the boss is making blunder after blunder with his decisions.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

If I remember rightly one of the blunders that Arsene Wenger was accused of during the summer was buying this kid instead of a seasoned premiership-experienced professional. If the fans picked the team then he would play every game this season, and this this time next year he could be in one boot rather than two, just like Wilshire. I’m sure that is on Arsene’s mind every time he chooses the squad. To my thinking he had to choose to play him against Spurs (Massive pressure) or Olympiacos (Group stage, poorer opposition, lower pressure). The odds were that he would… Read more »


Hypocrites! The same us who wanted Mr Wenger”s head for buying a kid when we needed a grandpa. Now we want ‘kid ox’ to be the first name on the team sheet for every match. Fickle!


I actually was at the game, The Ox dominated the right flank and especially in his third goal he dribbled down the right taking at least two players on where he eventually ended up in a tight position by the endline, that’s were most players cross the ball, couldn’t see if he meant it or not but he at least he scored on the near post. Howler from the Icelandic keeper you’d have to say. The second he was at the right place when the Icelandic keeper spilled an easy cross and the Ox just sidefooted it in. The first… Read more »


Aaaand yeah worthwhile mentioning that the Icelandic left back was propably the happiest guy on the pitch when he saw he was about to be substituted.
The guy who took his place got a yellow for ripping the Ox’s shirt in a desperate attempt to deal with him, within 5 minutes after he was moved to left back.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

When you get into a position on the touchline like that then it’s worth smacking the ball low and hard at the goalkeeper’s goalside side (if you see what I mean), if there’s no clear and open target man waiting. A driven ball like that can easily go in off of a goalie or defender (see Blackburn game), be put out for a corner, or bounce out for a poacher to latch on to it (see the Ox’s second goal). The important thing is to put the ball into the danger area. Too many players either panic and blast it… Read more »


“18 year old winger bags international hattrick”

“his defending was shite”

Only at the arsenal…
Dont know whether to laugh or bury my head in my hands. Well…it waaaas a hattrick 🙂 emoticon

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Isn’t the basic idea of football to score more goals than your opponent? The Ox did that last night. Anyway, his defending was brilliant. The defender in front of him (well, mostly trailing in his wake) was so fearful of him that he was completely incapable of taking the ball forward and starting an attacking move. The central defenders couldn’t push on in case they had to get over quickly to cover their mate. That messed up their entire team’s build-up play, robbing their forwards of any serious chance of scoring. The Ox was the best defender on the pitch.*… Read more »


hehe, I was actually rather impressed by his contribution to the defence, he was tracking back and didn’t hesitate to throw himself into tackles, and won a few. And like someone pointed out, the whole Icelandic team couldn’t move forward because they did not want to leave the Ox with too much space on the rigt.. I call that smart defending, if you know that your marker is to afraid of you that he doesn’t go forward unless you track back, so why track back and invite more opposition players to atttack….


Is Petursson normally that shaky? Sort of reminded me of Bolton’s Bogdan against Chelsea last weekend. I see people jumping on the bandwagon while expecting too much from him, he is very talented but is still work in progress. The first team has enough problems as it is so over relying on too many of the younger players while they’re still learning and developing with the added fan and media pressure Wenger will do well to keep his feet on the ground and save him from burnout. The Theo bashing is really fickle though, he is still fairly young and… Read more »

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

I really hope that Arsene doesn’t consider the Ox and Theo as strictly either / or. I want to see the Ox playing about 50% of our games this season, at most (we don’t want him Ramseyed, Wilshered or Walcotted), but I want to see a good number of them include the Ox and Theo together. I feel that they could gel and develop together better than if they only ever meet at substitution time. I seriously doubt that Theo will improve any further if left out wide, so while he still has his speed and (hopefully) youthful confidence, it… Read more »

The BearMan

Come on England, give him his first cap for the first team! The Bear wants him to maintain this record. The youngest player to get his first cap, score and be man of the match in his debute!

I know Wenger do not want to over play the lad, but when a player is ready it is better you allow them to learn on the job!


Well done oxtail, good to see form. The first comment for some reason really pisses me off, don’t know why as I’m not a “naysayer” but it’s that sort of reaction that gets my goat up.


Fuck all the “hes still young b.s” if the kid is good enough, hes old enough. Put him on the field!


How easily the gooners get excited nowadays!
If he does turn out to be a decent player, I wonder what club he’ll move to when he comes of age?

Alpha t

Whatever the club might be it wont be United!

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Mate, you have a very good team there. Fine manager. Some very classy players and a few good young prospects of your own. You’ve had a good bit of success over the last few years, and your next big challenge is to overcome Barca and win the Champions League

Lots of interesting things going on in and around your club, So surely you could find somebody to talk to on a Man United blog somewhere?


Do you not have your own problems to worry about?

I hear Rooney’s said he’s gutted about being sent off in the 27th minute of the match tonight.

Eric Irish gunner

About as excited as Rooney when he was fucking gran ma’s you manc cunt now fuck off


“….against the nation who foisted Bjork upon the world.” Having some years ago actually stood in the cold, Icelandic drizzle and watched a top-of-the-table, season-decider match between KR and Fylkir (1-1, season decision deferred to following week) in the local equivalent of the Premiership, I have to say that doesn’t prove much. Although I also have to say that the moment a striker smashed the opposing ‘keeper in the gob, kneed him in the bollocks and rounded him to score, despite the whistle having gone some time earlier for another foul, was something of a highlight. None of the officials… Read more »

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

I didn’t know Joey Barton had had a loan spell in Iceland.

Alpha t

Wow im im going to start watching the Icelandic league sounds very eventful!!!!

Naija Gunner

I love this club and all the fans good or bad, we are supporting and wishing Arsenal well, and good luck to the OX’ a friend of mine who is chelsea fan and watched the game seys, “he was outstanding, Wenger did a good job of buying him”.


I go with the ‘if he is good enough then he is old enough’. Why not Ox for Ramsey, afterall he can play centrally. And Ramsey had really not been up to it.

[…] Ox was another stand out in his international outing, scoring 3 goals against Iceland. Take it easy, he’s still young, but how I would love to see him tear our opposition […]


That’s exactly why he should introduce him slowly!

A few bad games and you will be saying the same comment but inserting Ox for Ramsey. And so on and so on.


[…] against Shrewsbury and Olympiakos, while also stealing the headlines for Stuart Pearces’ under-21 side. However, despite showing flashes of brilliance, Arsene Wenger insists that there is no rush to […]

Share article

Featured on NewsNow

Support Arseblog

Latest posts

Latest Arsecast

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x