Van Persie wants to break Spurs into tiny little bits

108

Robin van Persie is so fired up after the defeats to AC Milan and Sunderland that he believes this Sunday’s North London derby has arrived at the perfect time for Arsene Wenger’s beleaguered squad.

Behind the Spuds in the League for the first time ever (I think…) the Gunners know that only a win will do at the weekend if they are to close the gap on Redknapp’s bunch of mercenary chancers.

Currently sitting in fourth, but being closely tailed by Chelsea, Liverpool and Newcastle, Van Persie also recognises that the heat is on in the race to qualify for next season’s Champions League.

Speaking in the official matchday programme, our talismanic captain issued his battle cry: “What better way to set things straight again than to beat Spurs?

“I’d rather be playing them now than on any other day, and we know that a win is absolutely vital.”

RVP then went on to say some relatively complimentary things about Spurs, although Arseblog News can exclusively reveal what the Dutchman was actually thinking when the niceness was tumbling from his mouth.

“Hmm, if I say nice things about Spurs before the match, it’ll be even funnier when I decapitate Bale with a free-kick which sees the ball fly into the top corner and that Welshman’s monkey-like head rebound into Harry’s twitchy face…Arsene will claim he didn’t see it, but he’ll love my mental strength.

“Also I should really sign that new contract. It’s so fiddly working how much of a pay cut I must take just so the fans don’t have to pay more for their season tickets. It’s just as well I love them so much…”

Returning to the issue at hand – tracking down Spurs and destroying them – Van Persie continued: “They’re above us for the first time in many years but it’s in our hands to change the way things are going, win the game and start moving closer to them.

“A draw will not be a good result for us [on Sunday], either in our bid to catch up with Spurs or in our efforts to fight off our other challengers for a Champions League place.”

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dmcle
dmcle

Marry me RVP

sJ
sJ

Why are there dislikes on this comment? RVP = <3! Anyways I personally hope he fucks em up, no matter how shit things might be we all know this is a game we will be up for!!

Cygan's Right Foot
Cygan's Right Foot

He’s married to the club and not available to an indvidual. RvP is all of ours

sJ
sJ

Good point 😉

sJ
sJ

…sorry Bouchra

Camilla
Camilla

Because a bunch of Spuds fans have nothing better to do than go on an Arsenal’s supporters website and waste everyone’s time.

Cygan's Right Foot
Cygan's Right Foot

We must stand and fight the thumb downs

Goonerhaea
Goonerhaea

It’s funny… Anyone know what a Sp*ds fan site/blog looks like or what it’s called… Prolly a huge cock on the page… Don’t wanna find out either… Just goes to show you the class difference between The Arsenal and those twats…. Being we have plenty and they don’t even know what it is…

Anon
Anon

Now this is insightful football journalism right here. Excellent, excellent piece. Oustanding. Arseblog News has outdone itself.

JamesAFC
JamesAFC

FUCK SPURS – COYG

gun for the hills
gun for the hills

He’s like gandalf returning on the first light of the 5th day in that film about midgets..

Naija Gunner
Naija Gunner

Am with you RVP all the way, kick them in their balls real hard it sends Redknap (hope I got that right?) to the national team. COYG!

Goonerhaea
Goonerhaea

If it’s easier it’s spelt Ol’ Twitchy!

Dave
Dave

When we beat Spurs on Sunday, hopefully it has a HUGELY positive effect. Hopefully it makes the team so confident, that we win all our remaining matches and those Sp*rs cunts get so humiliated, that they lose all confidence and lose all their matches. That’d be swell. COYG!

1886
1886

We need a rally on Sunday. I’ll settle for a 6-0 win.

Goonerhaea
Goonerhaea

I’ll settle for that against Milan too!

Highberry
Highberry

A lot of Spuds on here today judging by all the thumbs down, hi guys!

Nick
Nick

LOL, they’ve got to take time out from their prayers that ‘Arry won’t leave for the England job

ramgooner
ramgooner

thumbs up or down!spurs are cunts.it is uninamous

Spooner
Spooner

Fact.

Cygan's Right Foot
Cygan's Right Foot

Technically we moved to north London from 1913 onwards but Tottenham were Middlesex until 1956 when it was then incorporated into Greater London. So it is you who should go back to Middlesex and not us, who were already in London

Nick
Nick

There’s no use arguing facts with a spud. Throw some bananas at them so they can make an offering to Monkey Boy Bale not to leave this summer.

Lee Morgan

Here’s some ACTUAL facts for you dumb ass goons to digest; Approximate distance in miles from Charing Cross to Tottenham is 8 miles or 12.87 Kilometers
Approximate distance in miles from Woolwich to Charing Cross is 14 miles or 22.53 Kilometers

Now I know you guys aren’t exactly the sharpest tools (but you definately are tools) but which is the bigger number? (knowing that Charing Cross is the dead centre of London)

Cygan's Right Foot
Cygan's Right Foot

And yet you still show yourself to know nothing about the history of England or even London

Cygan's Right Foot
Cygan's Right Foot

How can i reply and use intelligence to insult them if the comment has been deleted??? Now my comment looks out of place and a little bit mental.

So my comment makes sense; A spud came on, claimed we were in decline and told us to go back to South London, so i used history to give him a virtual slap.

Lee Morgan

Deluded moron, Tottenham has always been in London you absolute Tard!

Cygan's Right Foot
Cygan's Right Foot

Tottenham was a local government district in north east Middlesex from 1850 to 1965. In 1934 the urban district was incorporated as a municipal borough. In 1965, the municipal borough was abolished and its former area transferred to Greater London under the London Government Act 1963.

Someone needs a history lesson as they clearly spent to much time with a finger up their nose and a teachers cock up their arse

Cygan's Right Foot
Cygan's Right Foot

Also, what’s it like knowing you have won 11 league titles less than Arsenal, 10 less in total, have been in the champions league once and that it will be 4 years since you last won a trophy (i thought i’d mention that as you morons always tell us about our 7 years)?

Lee Morgan

And I’m sure you will find we have no quams with with the municipal district act which you refer too, we just know WE have always resided in the area of which we were concieved, unlike you pikey bastewards!

the only sam is nelson
the only sam is nelson

bwahahahaha that’ll be why ENIC have been threatening Haringey that Spuds will clear off to Wembley or Stratford, will it? What a fucking laugh. I mean, fair enough, Tottenham is actually a shit hole so it’s understandable that the man from Barbados would want to go somewhere nicer if he ever decides to bother watching the team he owns at arm’s length. But really, pretending there’s some kind of loyalty involved? A kindred spirit with the local area? You’re taking the piss, son, and you know it deep down.

But we’ll give you 1/10 for having the bollocks to try it on.

TAMCK
TAMCK

Can someone explain to me why anyone should give a fuck that a football club moved from a ground in one part of London to another ground in a slightly different part of London a hundred years ago?

Highberry
Highberry

I think its funny how many come on here, i can only speak for myself but I have never been on a Spurs fan site!

Lee Morgan

Speak for yourself, certainly some of you Goons seem to be infactuated with us as I can’t go on a single Spurs blog without seeing your trolls setting up a lovely little love nest on our forums! Ha ha!

the only sam is nelson
the only sam is nelson

where “infatuated” means “looking at the toilet paper after you’ve wiped your arse” then, perhaps, you’re right

good point

Jeff
Jeff

Dear spud tosser,

It’s infatuated, not infactuated, you illeterate moron.

I would engage you in a battle of wits, but you’re clearly unarmed.

Also, I could agree with your opinion, but then we’d both be wrong.

Now fuck off and crawl back in the diseased hole from which you sprang.

Josh
Josh

Oh the irony that you accuse us trolling spud blogs but yet you’re here replying to posts…

Your hypocrisy amuses me.

Simon Horrocks

*illiterate

perrygrovesworld
perrygrovesworld

why don’t you just fuck off you fucking stupid looking always in our shadow won the league in black and white spud mug cunt

GreenGunner80
GreenGunner80

why would you want to? If you wanted to see a twitching,gibbering nut sack spout rubbish you could just watch arry give a press conference

Sami Rockfeller

Spunts(Spuds+Cunts) disliking all the comments on here. Don’t have a website of your own?

Josh
Josh

They don’t have any websites but they do have a Spud fans day in Croydon last summer.

Ebouefan
Ebouefan

Next up, Arseblog news reveals Emmanuel Eboue’s thoughts while he takes a giant dump in his Turkish hotel.

gary
gary

i dont like our chances here they could fuck us up, we aren’t playing good at all.
if we lose this we wont finish top4, and i cant see us winning it….
wenger will go at the end of season and RVP wont sign new contract 🙁
never has a NLD been so important.
i fink monkey boy will run all over us, and vdv is bound t score or assist….
hope chamberlain starts.

Voldermort
Voldermort

Just quote them our history then show em theirs.
It’s ends any argument with the pug faced sperm scratchers.

Lee Morgan

Awww you guys used to love that talk about history, now look at you clinging onto that little bit of shine your piss poor club has!

Monkey foot. And head.
Monkey foot. And head.

Nice profile pic’ handsome 😉

Note; sarcasm.

GreenGunner80
GreenGunner80

go back to sucking your old mans cock and saying this will be the year….cunt

Tony
Tony

Arseblog is infested with spuds today…

Lee Morgan

Now you know how we felt when you Woolwich Wonderers decided to move your pikey camp up here, go back to Woolwich!

the only sam is nelson
the only sam is nelson

Holy crap, you remember that?

Shit, I take back all I said earlier, if you remember that then you must remember the last time Spuds won the league, which makes you…. fuck, anyone got a calculator? Anyhow the point is, I respect my elders. And you, Lee Morgan, are certainly an elder of the tribe if you remember all that way back

Don’t give yerself a hernia while you’re here, have a nice cuppa and well done for working out how to use a newfangled computer!

Monkey foot. And head.
Monkey foot. And head.

what are you, 14? Saying ‘how we felt’ like you were there!

Mummy’s calling.

Din-din’s is ready.

xian

Woolwich is a decent area. No shame coming from that part of the world. It boasts one of the best real ale emporia in Rose’s free house. I only ever when there once, with my ex-wife. They had free peanuts and pickled onions on the bar. There was a funny cartoon consisting of a man drawing piss from a cat by pulling it’s tail down as if it were an ale pump. It had the caption ‘Remember a pint of best?… Courage do.’
p.s. sp*urs are cunts

Drdonelittle
Drdonelittle

I’m best man af my wee bros wedding on Saturday. I really want us top win so I can charm the pants off everyone the next day. I want them to to say things like ‘you should have used that yesterday during the speech and I would have dropped my knickers for you!’. I would smile and say ‘well actually the match was today and I’m not gay so keep your knickers on. Besides this is Scotland and you being unfamiliar with football real football not cloudball as you deep cried easter egg tax
dodgers call it, I doubt if would matter’.
I did bm at my other bros wedding in Clonmel the year we beat Utd 2-0 in the Cup semi and Giggs missed the open net and I went down a storm. I peppedered my adlibbed speech with football related puns just for the man utd scum assembled there. I even started by tapping the microphone and saying ‘one two two nil two nill’. I was sexual that day.
Come on Adsenal don’t let me down.

Drdonelittle
Drdonelittle

Sorry for spelling this touch phone is killing me.

Runcorn Gooner
Runcorn Gooner

Let’s wait until next year.Twitcher gone.Bunch of mercenaries clearing
off.You will get back to where you belong Way down
Class is Class Form is temporary and there is nothing more temporary
than this bunch of chancers.

Lee Morgan

Is this because your 15 year bizzar odd peak in form is over the Class may return to North London, Le Prof inherited the best backline you ever had (including our very own Judas) so you could have put 6 one legged blind donkeys out in front of them & still done as good as you did, now that your backline has less stability than a special olympics team your other 5 donkeys and RvP the tray to carry 10 mugs are showing you were punching waaaaay above your weight for some time!

Cygan's Right Foot
Cygan's Right Foot

You do know Arsene signed Sol Campbell in 2001 and so didn’t inherit him but then i don’t let facts stop you. I mean you have our ex-striker that was insulted and taunted by spud fans while playing for us, city and real madrid but is now your love child and golden boy

Midfield Corporal
Midfield Corporal

Do you remember when your best defender bumped into your keeper and knocked the ball out of his hand gifting us a goal, that was funny wasn’t it Lee. Oh and outside of our 15 year bizarre peak we won 10 titles to your 2.

Monkey foot. And head.
Monkey foot. And head.

And the 14 year old spud digs himself a bigger hole….

GreenGunner80
GreenGunner80

Learn to write you spastic.

Oh wait that would be difficult you bunch of cock suckers set fire to your own neighbourhood, guess you have to travel now when you want some more tat from Elizabeth Dukes or a marked down bargain bin copy of spurs greatest EPL finishes….Worlds first 2 minute dvd

Midfield Corporal
Midfield Corporal

Thumbs down if you think spurs are cunts.

Runcorn Gooner
Runcorn Gooner

Spurs fans are now trying to work out what to do

AR
AR

I think you’ve confused the poor spud(s).

perrygrovesworld
perrygrovesworld

Heh. Nice one corporal

JamesAFC
JamesAFC

Do sp*rs fans honestly think they’re going to keep their form up for the next few years and become a major force? I reckon as soon as Redknapp leaves for the england job in the summer, that little aids victim modric goes to united, bale will go barca, hopefully that jumped up prick van der vaart has a career threatening injury and then they’ll go back to being a mid table side, who’s biggest aim is to beat arsenal every year, not any trophies.
Some of your fans are ridiculous, and I actually LOL at some of the shit that you all write. Go have a barmitzpha, CUNTS!

George
George

Any need for the barmitzpha comment? (I’m a gooner btw)

Chris Hoy
Chris Hoy

At least Arsenal fans know I’m not a referee….

Cygan's Right Foot
Cygan's Right Foot

No you’re worse… a bicyclist 😉

Runcorn Gooner
Runcorn Gooner

Just love it.Summed up mental capability of Spurs fans

perrygrovesworld
perrygrovesworld

Ha ha! Quality son, fucking quality

Midfield Corporal
Midfield Corporal

I’m surprised there are so many spuds on here today, I would even know the name of a spurs blog, something cock related no doubt. Why would they want to be reminded that it’s 51 years since they won the last of their 2 (yes 2 tee hee) titles, that we’ve won 13 titles, that between the years 1996 -2010 they only won 1 league game against us and that’s because we only had 9 men, that we’ve won the league twice at their shit hole, that they conduct their business like a bunch of barrow boys, that they have to wait until the year ends in a 1 before they even contemplate winning anything, that Lee Dixon used to leave David Ginola on his arse every time the played, that whilst we might be neighbours they can’t really consider themselves to be our rivals, that their emblem is a fucking chicken sat on a ball. Go on, thumbs down those bad boys you spud fuckers!!!!

Yar

I’m actually surprised some of these spuds fans can spell somewhat properly.

Out JamesAFC
Out JamesAFC

But thankfully our spelling is sufficient to condemn the cretin JamesAFC who wishes “a career threatening injury” on a player. Commenting of the ability to spell rather than condemning a neanderthal that lives so low in a gutter is an insult to fans of all clubs. These cretins need to be exorcised from the game.
As a fan I find it despicable that we are lumped together with such sub-human species by the general puiblic.

perrygrovesworld
perrygrovesworld

Whatever. Cunt

MJay
MJay

Who (or What) The Fuck is Lee Morgan?

Comedian
Comedian

Cock?

Monkey foot. And head.
Monkey foot. And head.

I believe that a ‘LEE MORGAN’ is what happens when brothers and sisters fornicate.

CAGooner
CAGooner

Maybe he’s related to Piers Morgan? That would explain his prickly manner.

Colneygooner
Colneygooner

Do you mean Lee Morgan the Middlesex Cunt with the gangster profile picture…?

Cygan's Right Foot
Cygan's Right Foot

Yes, yes we do

The faith in me
The faith in me

WOAH did you know lee morgan is an anagram for cunt? who knew eh?

Matt F
Matt F

You don’t even need to rearrange the letters.

Thebiggooseman
Thebiggooseman

Lee Morgan was a great jazz trumpeter, not to be confused with this twat.

GreenGunner80
GreenGunner80

I believe this lee morgan is more of a Jizz Trumpet, more commonly know as a cock

Matt F
Matt F

Wait a minute, wasn’t there a “power shift” in 2005-6, and for a couple of games since then? I don’t really understand what this “power” is that Spurs fans are so obsessed with. Presumably the “power” we had was when we were winning doubles, going a season unbeaten, having several of the best players in the world in the same team, not losing to you lot in a decade. It’s quite funny that this “power” has supposedly shifted to Spurs every time they break into the top 4, which is, of course, has been achieved by Wenger in each of his least successful seasons at Arsenal.

So, yeah, well done on having the “power.”

Matt F
Matt F

This was a reply to a bitchy Spurs fan, who, with no apparent recognition of irony, posted on an Arsenal article on an Arsenal site, claiming that Arsenal fans’ fascination with Spurs showed there had been a “power shift”. Funny guys. I just hope they don’t steal too many toilet seats from the away end this time.

LEE MORGAN
LEE MORGAN

Sorry for my behaviour earlier, but I’m afraid I’m just an unemployed twat with nothing to do in my sad lonely life but annoy gophers and fuck my own mother (well, everyone else has so why can’t I?). Anyway I accept that Arsenal are and always have been a bigger club that Tottenham and I hope that they gives us a right spanking on Sunday. Sorry for being a cunt. Yours sincerely Lee

LEE MORGAN
LEE MORGAN

I can’t even spell gooners, but in do like annoying gophers too.

LEE MORGAN's MUM
LEE MORGAN's MUM

Sorry for the trouble my boys been causing, hes been a cunt since the day he was born. Anyway I’m offering free blow jobs as an apology, take a ticket and join the queue, there’s a bit of a wait as Fridays my busy night.

Jeff
Jeff

ROFLMAO, fucking superb!

Thanks I needed a laugh!

Will
Will

S–stupid
P–pretentious
U–unclassy
R–retarded
S–shitheads

Enough said,..

It’ll be great when we beat them on Sunday, ‘arrays head will bobble itself loose and fall off, and when he fucks off and leaves em high and dry for the lucrative England job, and they finish fifth in the league behind chelski, not qualifying for the champs lge next year and being in massive debt because ‘arry has already spent that qualifying money, on mercenaries and journey men transfers & wages, it’ll leave the spurms in ruins, & they’ll slowly fall away like all of ‘arrays other projects,.. it will be super glorious.

And I cannot fucking wait.

COYG!!!

Lee Morgans sister
Lee Morgans sister

Sorry my husband has been at it again.
It normally happens for the Norwich game

Midfield Corporal
Midfield Corporal

This just made me laugh so much, very childish but very funny.

Goonerhaea
Goonerhaea

May I suggest, Blogs that in future you don’t forget the profanity (*) in Sp*rs because seeing as they have nothing to do and well they ‘ve never known what it is like to be above The Arsenal in the table, they probably sit their otherwise miserable classless twat selves infront of the computer googling arsenal and that profane name of the other team of d*cks… And that’s probably what brings loads of them here… The inbreds…

Bendtners_ego
Bendtners_ego

Must be sad if arseblog counts as a news source on their dodgy internet feed.

To be honest, I think sp*rs could very well finish above us this year and while this is far from desirable, I can live with it. Here’s why:

1) Harry is gone. After this season, he’ll be the England manager and that’s a good thing because he doesn’t have to worry about buying players anymore (and bankrupting teams). He gets them all. Well, all the English ones.

2) Their new coach will most likely be crap. Someone like Benitez or Bruce. Utter crap.

3) Greedybayor will probably end up tossing off to somewhere else. Spuds can’t afford £220K per and he won’t accept a pay cut. Maybe he’ll EFF off to Anzhi or Paris St. Germaine. There go the subsidized goals.

4) The really big clubs will now start picking apart what’s left of the team. Modric? Probably United. Bale? Someone’s gonna offer him stupid money, like Madrid. I’m sure they’ll have a few picked off, just like we do.

5) Friedel might have another year or two left in him, tops. He’s old. Real old. I admit that picking him up was a stroke of genius by Redknapp’s part, but sooner or later the reaction time will go and we’ll see more results like the time he let in 8 versus United.

6) they haven’t even started on a stadium yet. Wait till those £15M annual debt payments catch up to them. Actually, it will probably be more like £22M with inflation. See how many players they buy then. If you don’t think that this is on Redknapp’s radar, you are dead wrong potato boys. He’s not as stupid as he makes himself out to be in court. That’s why he’ll be gone.

Enjoy the glory while it lasts. A trip back to mediocrity is on the imminent horizon and you’ll be sitting around, drinking beers and musing about that ONE year when you actually finished above Arsenal and how great it felt. What a sad, sad existence.

Lee Morgans sister
Lee Morgans sister

Absolutely bang on but it’s still a shame that we have to suffer this season
but wait a win on Sunday and a couple more results plus the odd dodgy
lasagna and who knows

Arsene Wenger
Arsene Wenger

Sorry forgot to give my real posting

forbes
forbes

what are the sperms doing on here!Arent they supposed to be in bed with thier sisters or cousins.What team has a cock sitting on a ball? When they finnish above us for 15 years in a row then they can brag but for now they should shut the fuck up with their illitrate lamp chop faced manager.

goontang
goontang

It’s funny there’s so many spurs supporters on here when i wouldn’t have a fucking clue what any spurs websites would be, always just lurking in our shadows

Bunburyist
Bunburyist

I was thinking that myself. Are there any spud blogs that even come close to the quality of Arseblog and several other Gooner blogs. There’s a reason our blogs win awards. We have a literate fan base.

jim jimminy
jim jimminy

Cannons are so much better than chickens.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla
Gutbukkit Deffrolla

…and according to MythBusters you can shoot frozen chickens out of cannons, which is the best use for a lazy cock that spends all it’s time sitting about on a ball.

(Insert your own Coq is better than a Spurs Cock joke here)

H.P. Arsecraft
H.P. Arsecraft

I would love Ol’ Twitchy Redface to stay with the spuds. Look at the great history of his former teams Southampton, Portsmouth, West Ham….. Heh…. Oh the bright future of administration 🙂

Gutbukkit Deffrolla
Gutbukkit Deffrolla

But the magic doesn’t work until he leaves a club, twitching his magic wand and saying the magic words “I admit I said they’d be my last club, but honestly, you must be a High Court Judge if you’re daft enough to fall for that old chestnut”.

Aamir
Aamir

The Spuds are our annoying neighbors. Just because they have beaten us 4 times in the past 15 years, they think they are London’s best club. Its gonna be a tough game but we will manage to beat those cunts. Then their season will collapse. Chelsea will get 4th. Arsenal 3rd. Spuds 5th. Redknapp will leave and fuck up the England national team even more. (He won’t be able to “wheel and deal” and buy any players at national level). Then maybe the English media will find out that a man who has won just one FA Cup in 25 years of management, isn’t all that great after all.

CAGooner
CAGooner

Well, not to stick up for ‘Arry, but he’s probably a better choice than the departed Fabio Crapello.

perrygrovesworld
perrygrovesworld
Naija Gunner
Naija Gunner

I love this blooooooooog yeah!