Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Arshavin in citric streetcar mystery

Andrei Arshavin, on loan at his old club Zenit St Petersburg, was vocal in the past about his thoughts on women drivers.

Quite what Mrs Arshavin, who looks like she could take him with a sideways glance let alone the back of her hand, thinks of that is anyone’s guess, but perhaps she had a small chuckle when she heard about her husband’s slight accident in Russia this week.

Thankfully nobody was injured and Arshavin took to his personal website to explain what happened:

In order to avoid rumors and false information, I decided to clear things up regarding the car accident I got into. The accident occurred near the β€œOzerki” metro station. I’m all right, no one was hurt.

What struck me is that the driver of a passing streetcar gave me a grapefruit.

For all his laziness, roundness of belly, and obvious fondness of cakes and scones, it’s things like this which help me retain the soft spot I have for him.

Only in the eccentric, surreal world of Andrei Arshavin could somebody involved in a traffic accident be handed a grapefruit by the driver of a passing streetcar.

“Had an accident, Andrei?”

“Yes, nothing serious though. Everyone’s ok!”

“Great. Here, have a grapefruit.”

“Don’t mind if I do!”

Does this driver carry around a basket of citrus fruit to hand out when he chances upon minor prangs on the Russian highways?

Bumped into the car in front? Here’s a net of 5 limes! Tyre blown out? These clementines will help! Side-swiped at a crossroads? Why not feast on these kumquats till the AA get here!

Arseblog News does not have the answer sadly, perhaps we’ll never know, but we do know that Andrei had a zesty, slightly sour breakfast one morning this week.

Related articles



newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Forgetting about football for a moment, you can’t deny that Arshavin is one cool guy.


Also, I hope he comes back next year but with Gervinho, Walcott, Chamberlain and Miyaichi on the wings I can’t see him getting a game.
The sad thing about that is a few seasons ago you would have got the biggest punch in the face for suggesting any of them should start ahead of him.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

But Arshavin is supposed to play in the middle, behind the striker. So, there is no conflict at all.

When he gets here we’ll just tell Podolski he will be playing in the Reserves for a couple of years.



I am going to write “ARSHAVIN IS NOT A WINGER” on a big stick and beat you with it.


you mean you hope he doesnt come back? same, love the guy, and he will get more out of his career elsewhere considering the competition he would have at arsenal.


Well, a couple years ago Chambo would’ve been 15, so I think it would’ve been justified πŸ˜›

Runcorn Gooner

You have got to like AA23.Lucky it wasn’t a mango…..now that’s one messy fruit to handle


“What struck me is that the driver of a passing streetcar gave me a grapefruit”

I simply think AA23 was wrong with the kind of fruit he was given here. It wasn’t grapefruit, in reality, the driver of a passing streetcar was handing him a blackberry… to call the service car!

(the joke also works with an apple)


It would work with either, if it was funny.


Only Arshavin…….Only Arshavin


I love andrei
Not in a gay way or though


That’s best left for Arteta.


And Robin.


What aboout Santos then?


Its just Arshavin being, well, Arshavin!

Just another day in the life of the Andrei.


arshavin reality tv show?


Maybe he can play in the middle? But with Wilshere, Diaby, Arteta, Song, Ramsey and Rosicky, I can’t see him getting a game there either :/

…Andrei maybe it’ll be best for you to move on now πŸ™


This accident must have left a sour taste!


I’m just pleased things didn’t get UGLI.


Cygan's Right Foot

The Cabel Hall Citrus Limited trademark? Not sure they’d give that up easily…


His car was probably a lemon.

Fruity fruit for a fruity guy. You got to love him though!

Runcorn Gooner

Thank goodness it wasn’t a woman…..could have been a pair of melons

Runcorn Gooner

Andrei Arshavin he peels when wants

master floda

he’s a funny little chap. if he would have big, hairy feet and pointy ears he would make a great hobbit (though maybe not so much a great footballer)


I like the crazy bastard, he reminds me of Eboue. I miss them both πŸ™


if arshavin perhaps didn’t look like a 12 year old I’d be laughing less at this story


Its amazing how people come out and declare their love when there is no chance of him playing for us at the moment.

I would love him to do a Rosicky and come back lans. He has the potential ability to outshine certainly Gervinho and probably Walcott.


Come now, we all love Eboue, but we all know it was best for his footballing career that he moves on from Arsenal.

If we put football aside, Arshavin is one of the most eccentric personalities we currently know at the moment, and that’s why we love him. The love I feel here is different from the sadness I get when I see him jogging around aimlessly.

gun for the hills

I got dinged by a ford ka and the bloke got out and put his pair of plums in my hands


What I also find funny about Andrei is that despite his previous comments about women drivers, he recently also put on a charity event in celebration of international women’s day. http://www.arshavin.eu/en/news.php?id=758
Awh, bless him.


If only he’d eaten more grapefruit and less cake in London he might not have been such a lard-arsed, couldn’t -give-a hang flop.
Just saying.


This grapefruit story has left a bitter taste in your mouth.


What is this, an Arshavin meme?


It’s things like this that make me love Andrei.

And this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKklu8CgqS4


It took me a couple of seconds to work out why that’s actually pretty clever.

The funny part is that he was tracking back.


The guy’s a total fruitcake!!!!


Blogs you sure the Streetcar driver GAVE him that grapefruit? My information is that he threw it at him and said something like “Get out of the way you fucking midget” or words to that effect (0;


Slightly off-topic, but oh dear God, that deep-throat stuff was too funny πŸ˜€

Anyone think Tomas might’ve had something to do with the grapefruit?




Listen to this week’s Arsecast πŸ˜›


gr8 picture!

Bob the Gunner

I still love him. No problems at all if he returns to Arsenal IMO.


Damn! You can’t stay mad at this guy. He’s got to be the most off-the-wall footballer in the world, and as annoyed as I would get at him this season, I still liked him (though I don’t think I want to see him in a red and white jersey again).

By the way, where the hell do you get a grapefruit in Russia this time of the year?


Certainly a type of bizzar, montypythonesque incident that only Andrei could stumble upon. In a world where most players are as bland and boring as watching paint dry, he sure is a spark of colour. Love the guy, don’t rate him much as a player


Certainly a type of bizzar, montypythonesque incident that only Andrei could stumble upon. In a world where most players are as bland and boring as watching paint dry, he sure is a spark of colour. Love the guy, don’t rate him much as a player any more. At least not for us.

Share article

Featured on NewsNow

Support Arseblog

Latest posts

Latest Arsecast

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x