Excellently lame excuse rules out Theo

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Theo Walcott is the latest Arsenal player to withdraw from international duty; apparently he’s got a little bruise.

The England winger joins Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (tummy ache) and Laurent Koscielny (grazed knee) in the queue outside Colin Lewin’s office as speculation mounts that supplies of Calpol and Mr Bump plasters are running low at London Colney.

Steve Bould has called each player’s respective guardian and they are understood to be making the necessary arrangements to pick them up.

The trio are expected to have an early night and should be fit for Saturday’s match with Sunderland assuming cartoons and ice cream cheer them up in the next couple of days.

(On a serious note – well done Arsene, you’re catching on. *insert emoticon wink  here*)

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RichieJ
RichieJ

Stories like this are exactly why I shouldn’t read Arseblog news at work! LMFAO!

Dodgeza
Dodgeza

Seems we’re catching on to a lot this season so far… Awesomeness

Tee
Tee

Can we sell RVP today and get TV5 to injure him in the friendly ?

50 Shades of Ramsey
50 Shades of Ramsey

nah we’re gonna ship him for £20m+ then frimpong ‘im

Gunnerbattalion
Gunnerbattalion

I just pray to God that Cazorla will return from South America (Puerto Rico) fit for fight for Sunday. It may be a bit tight though 🙁

Gunnerbattalion
Gunnerbattalion

I mean Saturday. Sorry!

THEREISBEARCUM
THEREISBEARCUM

I hear he’s already withdrawn for “personal reasons”.

ThaatArsenalGuy

i really hope thats not a wind up.Would be immense if true. (and the personal reasons arent too serious)

Merlin's Panini
Merlin's Panini

I imagine the personal reasons might be moving house or something like that.
A bit shit of them to include him when he’s only just moved clubs to a different country.

Dean '67
Dean '67

Yes sunday, he’ll just be in time for the church service.

Frog
Frog

I don’t think puerto Rico is in south America mate.

Dean '67
Dean '67

It is however to the south of America.

DENCHures
DENCHures

Frimpong gave him a grandad on his way out of the door

Big Dave
Big Dave

I bet Diaby doesn’t understand the joke…

“Oui, that is genuine injury”

Fergie the Gooner
Fergie the Gooner

Agree with the extra point at the end, Gerrard has been getting away with it for years!

Is that a picture of Kieron Dyer at the top of the page?

Dodgeza
Dodgeza

HAHA!

I thought it was Kieran Gibbs to be honest…

pedro
pedro

Don’t laugh, Gerrard has a serious and ongoing inner ear problem.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla
Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Yep,his inner ears are being constantly damaged by the suction caused by the large area of vacuum between them.

Fatgooner
Fatgooner

Walcott’s situation is different to the others. Despite everything apparently going quiet, I still think that he is going to Liverpool. So Wenger and Gazidis doesn’t want him getting injured at this crucial point.

Well done to the others for getting out of those utterly pointless, totally mistimed friendlies.

Glory Hunter
Glory Hunter

You’re a very strange fat person!!

Pong of the OxCoq
Pong of the OxCoq

Theo at Klanfield playing with the racist rodent toothed Suarez…. If it does happen, the move would be money motivated ala Na$ri…. Just can’t see why he would move to Liverpoo for footballing reasons…
Anyone else notice that Liverpoo have slowly been getting rid of their colored players… Johnson is the only first teamer left…

Save 75 cents
Save 75 cents

Paranoid much?

ringo xiii
ringo xiii

OR it could be because he’s a massive Liverpool supporter, so much so that the chance to play for the team he loves is too tempting to turn down, champions league or not.

Glory Hunter
Glory Hunter

Lol Theo is a smart kid, why would he go to Liverpool??? It makes no sense.

Micah Richards & Shawn Wright Phillips both grew up as gooners, and guess what they both play for teams that aren’t Arsenal!!!!
I mean its an outrage. lol

I don't comment here often
I don't comment here often

How about we shut the fuck up about Klanfield and KKKenny and all that nonsense? And who says “colored” anymore? Are you a plantation owner?

The best way to move past the Suarez/Evra thing is to have some class and stop mentioning it. It doesn’t even involve Arsenal. Liverpool fans are paranoid as it is. Let’s not start giving them legitimate reasons to moan.

adi
adi

Frankly speaking its extremely unlikely we’ll sell walcott, rvp AND song in the next 2 weeks. 1 out definitely (pursey). Song is unlikely to go (long contrat), theo’s the same (seems fairly intelligent and has no darren “snake” dein). I think we’ll sell rvp, bendtner, squid and park (loan/sell/delist). I reckon chamakh will stay at 3rd choice striker. Probably another midfielder and one defender in. 2 in, 4 out. And we’ll still be significantly stronger than last season.

goontang
goontang

Raheem sterling has started a lot of their pre season and he is black. Not sure where you were going with that

Dean '67
Dean '67

Haha fatgooner.
you’re nuts, you’re honestly nuts.

DENCHures
DENCHures

I don’t know why fatgooner is getting so badly negged for putting forward a reasonable hypothesis. Some facts:
Theo’s a liverpool fan
He’s got a year left on his contract and doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to renew
He wants silly money
His slow rate of development must frustrate the fuck out of Wenger
Liverpool have a new manager who must recognise the need for a winger who isn’t Stuart ‘0 goals, 0 assists’ Downing

Smeghammer
Smeghammer

Plus he has some serious competition for a starting place this season, I personally can’t see him starting many games and only being used as an impact substitute.

astronaut
astronaut

I have been thinking the world needs more Stewart Downing jokes. thank you to anyone who shares any.

Le Sausage
Le Sausage

hahah quality…wish Cazorla had the “sniffles” and did not have to disappear off to Peurto Rico!

RodGoonerInTtown
RodGoonerInTtown

Haha @Goonerbattalion, PR is in the Caribean buddy (North Anerica) a few miles off the Anerican coast (Florida) Anyway, Walcott is set to have an amazinng season, I hope this is our season

chris
chris

These two stories appear next to each other on news now. They’re giving him directions now…

Liverpool v Arsenal – Travel information Arsenal FC – Official Site 15:41

Theo Walcott is latest injury withdrawal from England squad Metro.co.uk 15:39

Lawrence Hunt

Amazing, heh. It’s like on Football Manager when your player gets ruled out for 2 weeks with a bruised thigh… Bullshit, of the good kind!

Cygan's Anal Beads

And Bendtner is suffering from a bruised ego.

Big Dave
Big Dave

Pascal Cygan rumoured to be in the Fifty Shades film??

Peter
Peter

Surely it would just save time to create a single statement for all players at once: “Arsenal Football Club announced today that the entire first-team squad has been affected by an outbreak of bubonic plague. The club’s medical team expects all players to make a full recovery over the coming three to four days.” I mean, since we’re already taking the piss and all…

Dean '67
Dean '67

Keep rvp there by all means. Let him stay there, far away from the rest of the arsenal players. Far….far away!.

piken79
piken79

Join a fellow gooner fantasy league, space for only 25 teams, so spots are up for grabs, code (1012841-248200) http://fantasy.premierleague.com

Frog
Frog

The doors over there.

Naija Gunner
Naija Gunner

We are catching up big time, why has TV5’s injury sprang up?

He’s definitely going to be our new captain when grey-haired guy leaves and we don’t want some pointless international friendlies getting in his way to lift all the trophies we’ll win the time around!

Merlin's Panini
Merlin's Panini

I’m sure he could use this as inspiration for a new book.
The day Little Jimmy slightly knocked his little jimmy when he sat down and it surprisingly hurt for about five minutes then went away.

Arsehaul
Arsehaul

Blogs what are your thoughts on Llorrente? He’s just done a Van Persie and refused to extend his contract, while Arsene has had his cheeky eye on someone
Here’s to hoping

Jean-Luc Thiébaut

Nice bit of skiving, Darren ‘Sicknote’ Anderton style.

Comedian
Comedian

I blame silvestre. Bad silvestrehope its just a two day virus.

Lord Teddy Ears
Lord Teddy Ears

I have a feeling we are going to batter sunderland

goontang
goontang

3 points would do me just fine

CAGooner
CAGooner

I would hope so but, being a superstitious sort of guy, I try not to say shit like this before a game.

Ref
Ref

Yeah especially with the awful preseason they just had.
1 win in 6 matches!.

I see goals flying!

mulidenno

nycely done…maybe they’ll be given lollipos and toy gunnersaurases lol

Trevor
Trevor

These one off friendles need to go away. If there’s to be an international break, make it at least 2 games. Does Ivory Coast really need to play Russia? Do these frieindlies help a team gel for the World Cup qualifying campaign?!

Ref
Ref

Me: “Look a dead bird!”
Blonde missus: *Looks
up* “Where!?”

astronaut
astronaut

ha ha ha. thank you for this refreshing story.
soup all over the the keyboard now.

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sammy
sammy

lmao…looking hard not to make a mistake here…but how will a day at work be without arseblog news…still lmao

TeeCee
TeeCee

Abou Diaby in “everyone injured except him” shocker!!11!!

Hudson Hornet
Hudson Hornet

Please tell me we can flog Theo and Song for decent money. Reinvest in a Martinez from Span or M’vila etc. Plenty of better players out there.

RVP is the magician who is difficult to replace but again its not impossible. Maybe make a loss for once and replace him with real quality, Arsene?