Podolski nets two as Gunners hit four

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Lukas Podolski scored twice as Arsenal ran out 4-0 winners over Cologne this afternoon.

On his return to his former the club the German international coolly slotted home a penalty and then rounded off a fine Arsenal move to score his second. Thomas Vermaelen had put Arsenal ahead with a headed goal reminiscent of the famous Bould flick ons.

Per Mertesacker won the ball at the near post, flicked on and Vermaelen headed home the opener. Santi Cazorla played his first 45 minutes for the club and looked genuinely exciting, spraying passes about and combining well with Theo Walcott.

In the second half Gervinho scored Arsenal’s fourth before the main talking point of the evening, the introduction of Robin van Persie. The Dutchman didn’t do much of note in his first game since Euro 2012 but his selection will be sure to keep the story of the summer going a bit longer as the players head away on international duty this week.

Overall, it was a good workout for the team and an encouraging result. The other new boy, Olivier Giroud looked as dashing as you would expect but also someone whose hold-up play was very strong and he had a couple of decent chances, drawing good saves from Cologne’s 14 year old keeper.

The team return, disperse and return later in the week but hopefully, despite the absence of so many players, the manager has a clear plan about who’s going to face Sunderland in just a few days time.

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THEREISBEARCUM

Cool.

JoeRandom

Coolski…

Sol Goodman

Poldi Blitzkreig!!!

Loose Cannon

Excited ^_^

edan

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡sɹndS

Persie out, arsenal lives

Reporter: Did you hear of any interest for you by tottenham?

Podolski:…. (._.) (looking down).

…… ¯\(ツ)/¯ (what is that?)

Fred

The quadruple’s on chaps!

Vick

Glory days………….loading…..loading
████████████ 98% … wait for it… wait
for it..

Hashkibob

2000/1. Worth a quid!!

Daryl

Podolski looked great, I expected the other 2 (Cazorla/Giroud) to be as they were but Podolski was a real surprise. He looks like he could be a real force for us and through the middle rather than wide.

RVP blow is softened further by this performance.

Koolio

Hes just f’in with us, If we can keep RVP, and he hits peak form again, I suspect we will have number 1, 2, and 3 top scorers in the EPL.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

He was playing at “Home” though, wasn’t he. Let’s see how he goes against Sunderland before we get too excited about how he’s adapting to life and football in England and at Arsenal.

Don’t you just hate party poopers who try to rain on your parade… and mix metaphors into the bargain?

Wale
edan

I think anyone would be happy to be kicked in the face every day for an extra 150k per week.

Wale

Terry can take it in the nuts. Hope someone kicks him there and help warn him off wayne bridges missus. That cunt!

Sol Goodman

Thanks for reminding me what a turd adebuywhore is, truly a repugnent piece of shiyt.

49! eat that

Poldi seemed to take it in his stride, can’t wait!

Josh

Can’t wait for the season to start!! 😀

Thomas B

All 3 new signings did a great job! I have a good feeling about this season…

DodgeZA

Awesome. Good things to come. Hopeful!

Ibrahim

Nice performance by Carzola. He gave us an indication of how much we have missed Cesc

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

But he didn’t play today. CAZORLA was there though. He did quite well.

Wale

Fickle comment by the often intelligent man.

ArseMikeee

Which of our players are going on international duties?

goonerforlife

what does liking this question actually mean?

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

What did disliking your question mean?

Is a thumb down still a thumb down if it’s used to highlight the cleverness of the thumbed post?

If a tree falls in a wood and nobody is there to hear it, does it still squash the bunny it falls on?

If I could spell Neitzsche I’d bring him up in the conversation, and then drop him in a forest where nobody would hear him scream. Yes, a forest in space.

AFC

Clearly, you can’t spell Neitzsche.

CAGooner

Maybe he DID mean Neitzsche who was Nietzsche’s tailor of whom very few have heard.

badaab

All. While sunderland will have two away.

Hurley

Podolski was impressive, interesting to see how deep and central he came to get the ball, he was playing in Coquelin’s position for a few moments!

Jake

Check Girouds movement on Podolskis 2nd goal, really opens it up for Podolski. It seemed to be overlooked, but he should get credit for that – top quality.

goooooonaaaarr

14 Year Old Keeper??! Are you serious?! I didn’t have English commentary on mine so I didn’t hear anything about that….Must be some kind of joke

Redcurrent Wonder

You do realise that you said that out loud…

THEREISBEARCUM

Dunno if he was actually 14, but he looked it.

Peter

Timo Horn is 19. The “14-year-old keeper” line was Blogs’ sardonic reference to his youthful appearance.

Rat Wool

Actions speak louder than words….

hmmm…feels like silent Stan had something to do with it…

crazygoalie

The keeper is not 14, he is 19. Just clearing that up. He did make a few good saves, though, didn’t he?

Wale

Firstly, thanks for this report blogs. It’s good coz didn’t quite catch the game. (I know I hate myself too) I Podolski I hear has got a good canon on him, cazorla- mata *2, giroud towering guy with good eye for goal.

Oh and terry= cunt. Thankyou.

Jack Jumblies

I’m making some wild predictions, that RVP decides to stay but doesn’t sign right away/Arsenal withdraw offer to reconsider in January. He has a decent season, but finds it hard rotating in and out as a squad/bench player. As Arsenal challenge on all fronts, he is sold in January to Galatsaray (or Olympiakos, sorry the feed was a bit fuzzy), where he “hopes to see more first team action.” The team pockets a modest fee, shrugs, and goes forward lifting a big cup or two. A few years later, Brad Pitt produces/stars in a film about Arsene Wenger, a man… Read more »

Sagna the Magna

Lovely visual. Too funny. This made my day.

Mills

BRILLIANT !!!!

Andrew Maher

Kurt Vonnegut; are you in there?

Jack Jumblies

Nice catch. It’s an excerpt from Slaughterhouse Five-2 (where silly cockspurs with delusions of grandeur go to die).

iSayed

GODDAMMIT missed this because of travel.

How did Giroud do? From the live blog, it seems he was unlucky not to get on the scoresheet. How did he do?

Also, why the fuck did van P€r£ie get the captain’s armband after Verm? This is BS, he insults us makes it clear he wants to GTFO and he still gets to wear the armband.

Finally (and once again from the live blog), it seems Song’s head not in the right place. Good player, wont be missed if he goes.

Der Springer

I did not have a problem with RVP being given the armband for most of the second half. I stand to be corrected but TV5 was wearing it when he was on the pitch.
Van Persie is still with us and it is possible he may remain. I think it is the professional manner that he has reportedly conducted himself throughout training camp that earned him the honour of wearing it this afternoon.

THEREISBEARCUM

1) Giroud did fine. Already looks nine times more dangerous than Chamakh. Bossed the box, had a couple of decent chances. 2) How you could get any decent information out of that liveblog is a mystery to me. Those who were actually watching the game with eyes would have seen Song do fine considering this was a fitness and conditioning match. Yeah, he muffed a couple of passes, but made a decent contribution too. 3) And frankly, I find it a bit rich how people on here cry about how players aren’t loyal, and yet at the faintest whiff of… Read more »

goonerforlife

I’m all with you but if something wasnt going on with song, there wouldnt be all these stories. song hasnt denied anything either, what else could you think?

but still an arsenal player and hasnt said any shit like van p, so…

Good Omens

Only nine times more ? We’re doomed ! 😉

Bob

I hope RVP getting the armband was more of a “fuck you all, we can keep him if we want, look he’s still an important player”, to force a higher fee for him, than a “this dick was fuck around all he likes and he’s still our captain”. Guess it depends of a kind a glass half full/empty dealy 🙂

Persie out, arsenal lives

\_/

As you can see my glass really doesn’t seem to give a fuck about rvp anymore. I have giroud, I have podolski. I have the arse.

Der Springer

A mishmash of comments. Cazorla was thoroughly enjoyable. I cannot wait to see more of him. Podolski and Giroud also played very well. Very good to see Diaby again. It would be fantastic, both for him and for Arsenal,if he could stay healthy. Gervinho was excellant Was it the bluriness of my feed or has Arshavin lost some of his pudge? I doubt he is sticking around but it was nice to see him. The only player that I could say played poor was Song. Not sure that a little snippet of play means anything to rating our willingness to… Read more »

Bunburyist

Yes, Arshavin looked quite sharp, and I also agree with your point about Song. Not at all on his game, though I have to admit I’m storing up excuses in case he does in fact leave the club this summer.

Bendtner's Ego

Arshavin was looking fit during the Euros and his cross at the end nearly helped Russia equalize versus Greece.

Wale

I heard rvp begged to have the armband so I think he’s just a small boy who wanted his special toy/ribbon back. Played dismally that fucker.(maybe coz of opposition ……but still)

VictoriaConcordiaCrescit

And where/how could you possibly heard ‘that he begged like a small boy?

Wale

I didn’t quite say “he begged like a small boy”. (Read that again, thankyou).
Forget rvp for now, you’re the small boy here.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

No dodging the issue now. The question remains…

Where/how could you possibly heard ‘that he begged to have the armband?

Wale

Cameras caught him insisting on the armband before he came on so it’s not so much of a ‘hear’, it’s a ‘see’. Anyway I emphasize on the words ‘i heard’…..nothing concrete there but it’s a rumour.(we do it everyday)

I’m not gonna be sued o’ anything, y’all fuckers sound pissed.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

You may do it every day, but I should warn you that it could make you go blind.

So he was making “give me my armband” faces for all to see then? Your choice of phrase suggested something entirely different . So who did he ask? Wenger or Vermaelen? Interested to know as I did not see what was going on when he came on, and being given the armband by Wenger would be a heck of a lot different to him hassling Vermaelen to hand it over on the pitch.

Wale

He requested it from vermaelen when he entered the field of play (make of it what you wish).

But if he hasn’t signed yet nor apologised for his shitty letter he is still a complete prick in my book.

Bendtner's Ego

He owes you no apology.

All he owes us is working hard, scoring goals, and helping us win. I’m pretty sure he already did that last season and if given the chance, he’ll do it again.

Mark

some of the link up play really was top notch, Giroud cushioning a header down to Cazorla to volley was beautiful to watch. Also hope Theo stays, really think he’ll benefit from Cazorlas through balls in behind the defence!

gunners357

if we play all of our best players we need good back up. the team looked great today thou. FOLLOW ME @KYEKYE45 ILL FOLLOW BACK

Dean '67

I will not!, you know why?……because fuck off that’s why.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

No, FOLLOW ME @TAKINGASHITASIWALK. I’ll definately not follow back. Eugh!

DB10

Song’s obviously got his head somewhere else. I don’t givafuck anyway

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Then why post?

I do give a fuck. I want Song to succeed at Arsenal because it will make Wenger happy, and a happy Wenger is a Winning Wenger.

Bunburyist

Giroud’s movement and link-up play was fantastic. I think he’ll provide a good deal of assists. I was also delighted to see Wenger deploy Podolski in his favorite position (behind a striker). Was this 4-2-3-1?

The Ox impressed. Cazorla impressed. Walcott impressed. The Coq, however, looked flaccid. At the back, we did fine enough, as you’d expect with our first-choice CBs available again; I thought Yennaris stood out.

Poor Chamakh. The only thing I remember him doing was pass the ball out of play.

gooner from bangladesh

As odd as it might sound, Chamakh did better than RVP today :\

BENTRT

Agree. Robin didn’t look anything like the robin of last pre-season he just looked grumpy no energy I really wouldn’t be suprised to see him go by the end of this window and to be fair giroud and podolski make me less concerned by this. Cazorla was class today and walcott has taken to another level this pre-season… he’s only gonna get more goals and assists I’m sure.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

All this work trying to tie RVPs performance into his backstabbing saga. Don’t bother. RVP was pants today because he has Chamakhitis. You contract it by only playing 20 minutes every two months. The symptoms are loss of skill, loss of confidence, lack of match fitness, and hearing a strange booing sound emanating from nearby fans.

badaab

I also thought it was funny when chamakh came on, he played in the middle and rvp got pushed wide left.

Giroud's Tribal Tatts

Thought our midfield three in the first half looked really encouraging, Oxlade-Chamberlain looks destined to play CM and I think Coquelin is going to be technically superior to Song in the coming years.

I am excited to see Arteta and Alex slot back in for now though as Song-Arteta-Cazorla looks a really solid and creative midfield with Theo and Podolski real outlets on the counter-attack.

It disappoints me that there are so many ifs at this stage in the season because I feel like if we went into the PL campaign with this squad we could be real challengers.

Dean '67

RVP!!!!
PLEASE REMOVE YOUR BOOT FROM WENGERS
ASS AND SIGN THE DAMN CONTRACT!. YOU’RE
HURTING THE OLD MANS FEELINGS FOR gods
SAKE. HE STOOD BY YOU MAN, SHOW SOME
RESPECT BACK!

MAllen

Any reason why you’re shouting? Any reason why god is in lower case while everything else is in uppercase? You should really pay attention to your upper and lower cases. For example, there is a big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Dean '67

I was shouting ey?. Why sorry for that sir. I feel the need to emphasize on the important stuff every once in a while. Like right now……FUCK OFF!.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Deano! Deano 67!
He types when he wants!
But he doesn’t look when he types!

Yes, I agree. Help your uncle. Jack off a horse. Those stud farms don’t run themselves you know.

Frog

Hahahahhahahahhahahahah that’s fuckung historical. Cheers Mallen.

David

Very impressed with cazorla he combination play will be awesome This seaso can’t wait to see him and arteta with willshere all linking up what a mouthwatering combo. Also got the feeling gervino will have a good season now he is more settled. Giroud link up play is very impressive amd podolski will be a goal machine. So excited with Steve could and the commentsade from the verm about our improved defensive shape it’s so very exciting. We arsenal fans ne’er asked for 30mill players just players amd a squad to compete with the van p sale hopefully sahin to… Read more »

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

David! David!
He types when he wants!
But he doesn’t look when he types!

You make quite a few excellent points there, but you typed it so fast the spelling and punctuation went awry, and it was hard to take it all in.

I especially liked “he is a world class player but not a world class person”. Sums RVPs behaviour up quite nicely. Let’s hope that if he stays he does something to address that particular shortcoming.

Alisher Usmanov

Easy bro we havent won anything yet it looks like we’ll have a fucking good go but there’s a way yet to travel.

Giroud's Tribal Tatts

By which I mean the up-in-the-air futures of Song, RvP and Walcott.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

I won’t believe Song’s future is up in the air until Arsenal or Song tell us it is up in the air. The press will invent stuff like this from scratch. There doesn’t have to be fire for their smoke.

Bee

poldi and giroud both looked great, bargains!
both all over the field, looking really sharp and i love their directness – ball at feet in the final 3rd? bam! shot on goal! – nice!

very happy to see gerv making a great goal for himself, hopefully something will click into place, ’cause with a bit more composure he looks a real threat.
with him, ox, walcott (please sort out contract) and others cutting in from the wings we’ve got 2 top box predators now

Hywel

Despite rvps conduct of late; his initial statement and manor with which he undermined the club and manager that stood by him means he should not of worn the armband. Has he appologised? No. Does he want to stay? He has stated the absolute opposite. If hes disclaimed his desire to leave then he has chosen to leave the position of leader and captain. Id rather someone with their heart at the club wore it! Great game and great display although creativity became more tepid late in second half. All in all buzzing over the new signings and more than… Read more »

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

The only problem is… how do you tell that someone’s heart is at the club? RVP’s looked that way until he proved otherwise. Vermaelen seems the real deal, but we can’t ever really be sure of anyone until they have actually done the hard yards and proven their heart is at the club by choosing Arsenal when they are given a financially more attractive alternative. We hear a lot about player disloyalty and the riches of a few teams turning Arsenal into a feeder club, but it could be that most young players join Arsenal to get a good football… Read more »

badaab

The szcz for captain soon enough.

Kojakfavelas

C’mon Robin, sign the contract – all is forgiven! Manchester or Turin will be a big avoidable mistake! Do the right thing son!

Adam, Watford

I’m not sure all is forgiven in RvP’s case . . . but by the sounds of it , this game might have changed his mind about us even if his beef is about a bigger final payday.
For that matter, maybe Walcott needed to see this squad in action before he re-signs. still no excuse though, seriously Theo, wake up and smell the coffee.
Get excited to pull on the cannon again and make us proud.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

When Walcott signed for us I can’t help but imagine his dad saying “Learn all you can here son. Get into the first team, get noticed. If you make the England team in a Euro or World Cup finals then it’s time to look for a big, rich club to move to where you can make a fortune and maybe even win some trophies. If Arsenal aren’t winning trophies every year then they’re no good to you in the long term.” In fact I imagine RVPs dad gave him similar advice (along with :If things are going poorly, never admit… Read more »

Bunburyist

You know, I still laugh when I think of Mannone running out to scissor kick that ball against Olympiakos, and today he was comedy provider once again with that “catch” that somehow pinged off the crossbar.

Is he going on loan again? Transferred? It’s difficult to see him having a successful career at Arsenal.

THEREISBEARCUM

Watching Manonne (and Chamakh while we’re here) turns me into Kevin Spacey from Glengarry Glen Ross – Will you get out of here? Will you GO TO LUNCH? GO TO LUNCH!

He’s just plain bad.

GoonerDave

Did you used to post on 606 with the same username? It seems familiar!

Afc

robin sign the contract WTF is wrong with you.. Where do you want to go!!! Fucking man shit united!!!! We loved you soo much why do this to us!! Can’t you see the squad wenger has made!! Man united won’t win shit next season just like last season!! You need to wake up and stop sniffing the cash under your nose

brolin from philadelphia

I need an answer to the burning question du jour: what number did Podolski wear?

eddymc2

9.

Pilgs

Question is,what’s wenger going to start with Saturday?

Sczhney
coquelin-vermaelen-koscielny-gibbs
Song-Cazorla-Diaby
Walcott-giroud-podolski

Dean '67

I dont think he’l start with sczhney? (we’l have to invent him first)

damien joyce

i don’t think diaby should start, ur making an injury sub too early into the game

SickGunner

Arteta over Diaby, please. I’m dying to see our best line-up, excluding RvP

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

It’s not the best line-up if you field injured players.

walcott'spowerthrowin

is sagna injured? if so how long?

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Today proved it. The fact of the matter is that when RVP only gets a 15-20 minute cameo once in a while instead of playing every game (like Park and Chamakh) he just isn’t the player he used to be (like Park and Chamakh).

Today we saw RVP suffer the “Chamakh Effect”. Give him another 20 minutes three weeks from now and he’ll be just as ineffective (like Park and Chamakh).

THEREISBEARCUM

Unless he isn’t.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

More likely he will be. Unless, of course, we play him in the reserves a couple of times beforehand.

THEREISBEARCUM

Well, I’ve reviewed your data and checked out all your sources.

Your case is airtight: Robin Van Persie will be shit.

edan

Seriously? One appearance in PRE-SEASON proves that?

I’m as disappointed as the next gooner for what he did with his statement, but let’s not suddenly act like he’s a terrible player we could do without.

prolix

There’s been a rape up there!

GoonerDave

Great to see the team looking fit. We have actually got enough fit men in the squad to avoid the horror start of last season. Thats great. Not so great is the VP transfer saga. We must not repeat the mistakes a la Nasri last season. Time for this matter to be put to bed. I reckon it matters less now whether he stays or goes – its just vital to get it sorted out so we can settle down as a team. We havent made signings of this calibre in years, so it looks as though we have turned… Read more »

DENCHures

Dunno, I’m happy with us dragging it to the wire to get the best possible price. We’ve got his replacements and the team looked good today without him, I don’t think it’s going to cast a shadow like the cesc/nasri thing last season

Walcott's Footballing Brain

My Arsenal Starting XI 2012/13

Szczęsny
Sagna-Koscielny-Vermaelen-Gibbs
Song
Wilshere-Cazorla
AOC – Giroud – Podolski

Subs: Fabianski, Mertesacker, Santos, Ramsey, Arteta, Walcott, Van Persie

What do you guys think?

Hashkibob

Be a shame for gervinho if he doesn’t even make the bench, he’s looked much improved in pre season.

Walcott's Footballing Brain

Ah woops! Nice selection headache to have though, we haven’t had that luxury for a while. To be honest though with RVP’s situation and the mysterious silence around Walcott, I’m sure there’s a place for Gervinho somewhere! Although, as you say, brilliant pre-season from him, hopefully he can build on that form into the coming season.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Take out Wilshere, as he will be used sparingly.
Move Arteta into his spot.
Now add Gervinho on the bench.
If RVP leaves put Diaby on the bench / put Wilshere on the bench / Heck, rotate as each becomes available/unavailable.

Walcott's Footballing Brain

Yup, agreed. And bloody hell, we don’t half have a bad alternative XI either! (Based on earlier team)
Fabianski
Jenkinson-Mertesacker-Djourou-Santos
Coquelin
Ramsey-Rosicky
Walcott-RVP-Gervinho
And you could have easily made a case for Frimpong, Diaby, Arshavin amongst others!

waitressinthesky

I bet Arteta and Cazorla will play incredibly well together.

(And we’ll need Arteta. Wilshere has been in recovery forever.)

Dean '67

Good ball from arshavin to gerv. Poor finishing by gerv there. One of those ‘by golly’ moments.

Redsy

Great result and some very nice performances. Lots to look forward to this season. I would like to see the contracts of our 3 rebellious little fuckers sorted out though one way or another. Wenger needs to point out the date on his contract to song or decide if sahin or ym villa will work out better for us. I hope walcott stays he looked like he is still working hard on improving and is a great asset in the team we have currently. RVP its hard to know what to think anymore. I wont boo the guy though unless… Read more »

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

1 rebellious little fucker,
1 wannabe rebellious little fucker,
1 rumoured by the Cuntlemen of the Press to be a rebellious little fucker

ramgooner

arsene:i am a stubborn little fucker

DENCHures

The team looked good and we have quite a lot of squad depth now. I’m feeling optimistic for the news season 😀

Gooner95

Great game today! It looks like the new guys fit into the squad seamlessly! RVP looked horrible but if we sell him, I think Mr. Wenger needs to buy one more striker for depth. Any thoughts on the Mexes for Bendtner rumor going around? Personally I don’t think Mexes is an improvement from our current CB options and would rather just sell Bendtner for cash.

summerloving

Fuck me we were shite. Ha ha ha. Go one guys fuck off we can beat Herman minnows. Wooooooo

Hashkibob

Come again?

Sol Goodman

Go shit in your hat!

Punha

Let

Punha

Let’s not get too excited, Cologne are German Div 2 and had the worst defence in the Bundesliga by a country mile last season.

Goonersville

We won 4 nil away and our new signing looked decent . Bog off killjoy

Dean '67

So pessimistic!, every damn time, I’m now sick in the head. We’re not getting ‘too excited’, we’re just drawing the positives.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

It was the Cologne defence that let them down. It was their attack that failed them by not scoring five against us.

I think it might have something to do with their best player playing for us today.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

It was NOT the Cologne defence that let them down.

Sorry, should take my own advice and read what I write before clicking big buttony things.

Goonersville

Great performance from the new lads also ox and gervinho looking sharp . Had to put up with the moronic commentary on espn . Seriously can’t they employ people with an ounce of intelligence. Shouting at the tv when they starting dating about wengers poor record signing players for big money from France . Then went on to use chamakh and gervinho as examples. Good game shit commentary

CAGooner

ESPN commentators are put on earth to make the rest of us feel smart.

Arsenal Rising

Loved Cazorla and other new lads 2day!

Dean '67

Do We Really, Really Want The Spice
Girls at the London Olympics?

Gutbukkit Deffrolla '60

Elucidate! Is this a genuine question? Is it prompted by some sort of insider knowledge gained only by living in Britain? Is it an inside joke? Didn’t half of the Spice Girls die of anorexia while the other half got fat, except Mrs Becks who is too busy being a Hollywood Squares Celebrity Guest?

My answer, of course, is FUCK NO!!!!!!!!

Jake

It was when the ESPN commentator said that Arsene Wenger hasn’t had much luck buying French attackers that I finally gave up any hope of decent analysis. Anelka, Henry, Pires, Wiltord anyone?

THEREISBEARCUM

Did you not think they might have been being a little ironical?

CAGooner

Sports commentators don’t do irony.

Burak

After Pirlo does the Panenka penalty during the Euros (ESPN in US), Steve MacManaman blurts out “what an awful penalty!” and his commentating partner says “surely you aren’t serious?!?”
(awkward silence)
“Of course I’m not serious!”

To summarize: they might try to do irony, but they suck at it.

CAGooner

That’s OK. Ian Darke and the “Mackers” have a collective IQ of 57.

Domhuaille MacMathghamhna

Successful irony requires a modicum of intelligence and savoir-faire. neither of which ESPN commentators are renown for displaying.