Picture the scene.
Carl Jenkinson (with permission from Arsene Wenger, of course), is having a night out in a swanky club. He’s resting his elbows on the bar, looking around, slowly sipping his fruit Manhattan (no booze, long season, blah blah).
He’s playing it cool, seeing what’s what, tapping his foot to ‘Sing Hallelujah’, when he becomes aware of someone watching him, checking him right out. He knows they’re watching, but he doesn’t want to let them know he knows.
He’s looking sharp, wearing his best t-shirt with whatever the latest cool thing to have printed on a t-shirt printed on it, he smells like a Lynx ad and he knows that the room is his. He does the white man’s overbite as his foot taps some more, has another sip of his drink then turns to casually see just who is this beautiful creature that won’t take her gaze away from him.
ARGH, IT’S GARY NEVILLE!
Not quite what he was expecting, he puts down his drink, sprints to the bathroom and has a good old fashioned ralph before leaving by the window. In the meantime, Neville is on the phone to Talksport revealing that he’s determined to pull Jenkinson before there’s an international conflict with Finland.
“Carl Jenkinson has improved immeasurably over the last 12 months,” he says. It was very difficult for him at the start of his Arsenal career last year because of the changes in the defence, there was never a settled defence for him to perform in.
“But you look at the way he’s performing now and he’s been magnificent for Arsenal in the early stages of the season.
“England have good options at right-back with Glen Johnson and Kyle Walker, and others as well, but he’s definitely someone who is being watched continuously; he’s definitely catching the eye.”
When he finishes his call he picks up his Babycham, fixes the straps on his slinky black dress, his eyes scouring the club for his target, and there he stays, alone until closing time, because Jenkinson is gone and he won’t be back.