Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Mertesacker reveals worrying Wenger tactic

Per Mertesacker has let slip that Arsene Wenger repeatedly taunted the Arsenal defence with Phil Collins’ progressive rock anthem ‘In the air tonight’ as part of the preparation for Saturday’s clash with West Ham United.

Recognising that Sam Allardyce would rely on long-balls to oafish Geordie clodhopper Andy Carroll, the boss is understood to have resorted to the drastic tactic in the hope of programming his backline to combat the aerial assault.

Apparently still hypnotised by the lyrics from the 1981 album ‘Face Value’, played in the dressing-room using Steve Bould’s original vinyl copy, the Tower of London whispered in a thick Teutonic accent:

“I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
And I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord, oh Lord

Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand
I’ve seen your face before my friend, but I don’t know if you know who I am
Well I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you’ve been
It’s all been a pack of lies

And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
Well I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord
I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
Well I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord, oh Lord…”

Finally snapping out of his trance, albeit only momentarily, the German continued:

“We could feel in the air [tonight] it was going to be a tough game.

“We had to fight a lot, especially in the second half when the crowd became West Ham they had a good advantage.

“But we came back into the game on the counter-attack and afterwards we played well, especially defensively. We won more and more headers which was vital.

“It [our defending] can be the difference, it is crucial for us that the defence is winning more games. We just try to keep that in our mind the whole year.

“And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
Well I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord
I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
Well I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord, oh Lord…”

Arseblog News wants an end to the trophy drought as much as any dyed-in-the-wool Gooner, but even we’re a little uncomfortable with our players being taunted in such a way.

Fingers crossed Arsene resorts to more orthodox means of instructing the squad at London Colney in the future. Good win though.

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Mertesacker is a pretty pretty good dancer.


Merteswagger.. 😀


Made my day! 🙂




I watched that for about half an hour the last time it was posted.

Thanks for wasting some more of my day.


Haaaaaaaaaaaa! Ho ho! Santi is coming in my ear, tonight!

Boulds' hair shampoo

Whatever do you mean?


Hmmm, I appear to have consumed vast quantities of Vodka last night.

Rocket Diary

This is still the same night son.
‘Many’ is an understatement.


Not when you live in New Zealand it isnt.

RVP Ruined Our love

What a rubbish article! Wasting time reading shit that ain’t funny.

Randy Treibel

Not all articles are supposed to be funny. I didn’t find it funny, but i found it interesting the kind of psychological games managers play with their squad.

Randy Treibel

Unless of course this is satire. If it is, it’s dumb. I can’t tell, honestly :X


You genuinely couldn’t tell this was satire? You thought the BFG was actually in a Phil Collins induced trance? It’s against all odds that you’ll be able to survive on your own, but you’ll be in my heart. Good luck brother.


It was tripe . . .


Our sincere apologies. Would you like a refund?

RVP Ruined Our love

Typical Dublin middle aged cock


You have issues my friend.
Fucking off shouldn’t be a problem!


I’m sorry, was the free content, provided at no expense to you and not costing you a penny not up to your high standards? Perhaps you should ask for your money back.

Or, you know, go and create something yourself. Every day. Of every month. For years. and years. And then give it away for free. For nothing.

Which is what I suspect you are, RVP Ruined our love. Nothing,


Shut the fudge up. You little asstronaut. What the helicopters are you talking about?, You son of a batch of cookies. That’s how you curse a kid out like the one above!

Mikel Anon

Arseblog is only 29? How is he middle-aged?

igor stepanovs

“typical Dublin middle aged cock”

didn’t quite get this comment. are you advertising or seeking? either way i think you’ve mistaken this place for a seedy phone booth…

Billy Bitchsticks

You do know where the back button is on your browser, right?

If you don’t like the article, feel free to fuck off.

Boulds' hair shampoo

You first.

Trex d' Gunner

Arsene knows best. As long as his tactics work, I dont care.


Well I’m glad that Against All Odds, Per did win a few headers in the end.

Boulds' hair shampoo

What the fuck is all this about?. All i know is that Mertesacker did excpeptionally well both on the ground and in the air. He may not be the fastest but he has the brains to position himself well. Again w.t.f!

The Devil

Eat your own face… Immediately.

Wenger's Glasses

Can’t get that bloody song out of my head now. Thanks.


You got it in one Andy M, I wrote song for Clyde’s Walkman to remind him he was the WHU aerial Daddy.


Love Mert. With him in the defence, every day is just Another Day in Peradise.


Even a “terry is a cunt” headline with nothing beneath it would be more fulfilling than this.
Summon me that Andrew Allen, i’ll have words!.


Disappointed with the post, overall. Not good enough for Arseblog! We love the blog mate, but you guys could treat criticism with a bit of respect too, and not slag off anyone who doesn’t like something on here.


As regular readers will know I’m more than happy to listen to criticism, comments and suggestions if they’re constructive.

There should be no expectation of that when comments are mindless and childish.


That guys comment was constructive. He gave his oppinion, as a reader, that he thought the article was shit. Take his oppinion on board, rather than turn on him.
Do you only tolerate sycophants?
The article is more childish than his comment.
I’m a regular reader, and enjoy most posts, but c’mon. Don’t be so touchy. Just be glad of another visitor to click on your advertisements.


Saying something is ‘shit’ is not constructive. And if he’s happy to dish it out I’m sure he’s not terribly offended by a rather mild rebuke.

Plus, if you’re a regular reader you’ll know that the ‘sycophant’ comment is way off the mark.


He should be fit to take it on the chin if he says its shit. Fair enough. But it wasn’t funny, unlike many articles, and you have slipped into the revenue earning trap (I would too given your success) of repetitive newsnow like reporting of non stories. It seems that way. Only an oppinion, and obviously in the minority. I think him using the word shit shouldn’t be jumped on as an excuse to rubbish his opinion… Yet agree you have the right to tell him what you think… Anyway… Who cares… Im arguing with myself… I still love the… Read more »


Just noticed he called you a cock.
He’s actually a bit of a knob. Lets kill him.


haha, a middle aged cock too


How very dare he. I, Johnny Depp, funky crazy wicked wild actor, and user of the fake name “The Devil” to leave idiotic comments, then proceed to engage in a debate with the king of Arseblog, with yet another fake name (I’m not Johnny Depp) hereby challenge the dude who said “shit” but I can’t be arse to scroll back on my phone to see his name, to a fight…. In Dublin… Outside the zoo. Anytime. You made a fool out of me. What have I become? Too many years as a loyal reader. Made me mental. I’m babysitting my… Read more »


Silly blog, but hey! It’s a blog, not the New York Times or The Economist.
All strength to Arseblog for wasting half of my working life reading his blogs.
If his blogs were shit I’d at least get some work done.
Up The Arsenal!


You know what I find funny? It’s when someone posts HIS OPINION berating Blogs and then he gets angry when other people don’t agree with him by showing THEIR OPINIONS also. Just because you think Blogs hasn’t done his best doesn’t mean everybody is obliged to agree with you, so you might as well take it on the chin as well when you get some flak back unless it’s you Na$ri posting here.


Merts and Verms

Kos as an understudy
Too many mistakes

Nice goal against city though

50 Shades of Ramsey

ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?! koscielny was the only one defending at times last season


Against All Odds, the improving Arsenal defence were finally proud to say, Take A Look At Me Now.




Adewusi Felix

As long as we are wining ‘Everyday’

Naija Gunner

@Blogs I would love to know what makes you hate Phil collins?

And to be honest I love your blogs so much, to the extent of confirming news here even if I first read it on AFC official site. But today’s post….I don’t understand a thing, maybe it’s because of the phil collins song…who knows?!

You should no go into singing please, a friend’s advice. Thanks for the post anyway.


We hate Phil Collins because he makes/used to make crap commercial music.
UP The Arsenal!

Martin Keown is my hero

I may be a lone voice……but Phil Collins is great. Listening to him right now….su..su…sudio……

C’mon peolpe, don’t be afraid to admit you like Phil……grow a pair and don’t worry about what the other boys say.


It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you……john terry!, a round of cuntish jeering and bad words for this cunt.
What did the article say again?

phil collins

Sorry – I agree with the criticism of blogger. This song was only meant for use in extreme circumstances . I am deeply concerned by its usage in this situation.

Dick Swiveller

So, claims that we’re using The Worzels to prepare our new boys for a visit to the country when we play Norwich are probably not wide of the mark, then?

phil collins

Ugly Kid Joe – Everything About You was played on the coach up to Stoke – allegedly

Per Mertescaker

The best thing tom come out of this article : Merteswagger! I like my new name 🙂

One Arsenal

You’re MertesCAKER…. You’re fake!


oy…the interlull ..its getting to everyone


I do not care what tactics are adopted. Just give three points every night and i am okay .


I actually LOL’d while reading this article, lighten up people.

If you want shit ‘XYZ news understands’ posts with retarded comments from trolling Sp*rs fans then maybe this site isn’t for you.

Dial Square

I love Phil Collins, “if leaving me is easy” and all that, 80’s classics but i guess you had to be a teenager at the time.
As for the blogg, its all about opinions, i love it (but rarely agree with everyone, especially about Gervinho) but anyone who doesn’t like it, fuck off to another blog.. it really is that simple..

Thomas B

Love posts like this once in a while. Makes me laugh everytime.


well, I laughed.

and I have this album (the only good one – a good listen every 5 years I assure you).

and commenters are mistaking Andrew for the BBC or Guardian rather than a bloke who writes this blog (after years of writing).


Lolz, someone’s fallen for this!



This made me laugh. i pictured the team warming up and Arsene coming out with a boombox playing this… the look on the players faces LOL


I have never read such nonsense, i can’t believe you’d write such utter drivel – you must be living in some kind of Land of Confusion


…but if it was played before the WHam game, what was Shawcross doing on drums?


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