Thursday, March 28, 2024

Arsenal 2-0 West Brom – player ratings (beer special)

Perhaps inspired by last night’s indulgences, Arseblog News takes a beery look at yesterday’s performances against West Brom and rates them accordingly.

Wojciech Szczesny: 8/10 – Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Bacary Sagna: 7/10 – Guinness

Per Mertesacker: 7/10 – Erdinger

Thomas Vermaelen: 7/10 –  Chimay

Kieran Gibbs: 7/10 – Leffe

Mikel Arteta: 8/10 – Estrella

Jack Wilshere: 8.5/10 – London Pride

Santi Cazorla: 7/10 – Tumbledown*

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain: 7.5/10 – Goose Island

Gervinho: 5/10 – Coors lite

Olivier Giroud: 7/10 – Stella

Subs:

Francis Coquelin: 6/10 – Galway Hooker

Tomas Rosicky: 6/10 – Staropramen

Lukas Podolski: 5/10 –Misselob*

* With thanks to @eastlower

Feel free to discuss and post your own ratings, but normal comment policy applies. If you’re not familiar with it, please read.

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[…] report – By the numbers – Player ratings – […]

ob.1

He he he… Tumbledown

Simao Segunda

What’s the difference between a bar after a fight, and a man after his wedding night?

One has beery walls…

Vikram

That was beery bad.

Cow

Well. Jack wilshere was superb. Can’t wait for cazorla to shift to the left and play rosicky in cam. Giroud needs to start scoring again. Fast

alex

on a completely unrelated note, what about the cuntchester derby eh? while i wanted a draw, and was saddened when united extended their lead (esp through the dutch skunk), gotta love that the chinless wonder showed his cowardice by hiding behind the wall and sticking his leg out to the free kick and deflecting it into his own net.

woobaloo

HA I was sat with a city fan telling him what a bottler Nasri is. He wasn’t having any of it until…

asdfasfas

RVP though….

🙁

GunnAlex

But I like Staropramen

Clem

It’s Czech. London Pride isn’t particularly great.

maddo

You are not seeing the irony!!!!

Wenger's Glasses

That Olivier “What? What? What?” moment is so badass.

Comedian

Gervinho- light headed.

UGooner

I would give him more than a 5/10 though… Like 5.5…

goon

If Gervinho could finish, he’d be lethal. His movement and positioning is better than Theo’s. You can’t fault his energy.

leftpinky

Gervvy does add a lot and stresses the defense more than any other player we have. The team has a lot of confidence just letting him outrun the opponent and get the ball. great outlet. if he could ever finish, he would easily score 20 goals a year….alas that probably won’t ever happen. Maybe some visualization work might help him anticapte better. he just seems a bit late and really nervous when finishing. needs to pass more too…ball stopper he is.

bangbangboogie

Wilshere will standardly beef with anyone taller than him. Love it.

Red Cannon

Indeed. Especially because everyone except Carzola, AA, Wright-Phillips, and Gennaro Gattuso are taller than him. …I’m not sure why Wright-Phillips deserves a pass, but I sure wouldn’t want to fight Gattuso either. He’s a dangerous fucker who likely carries a knife on the pitch.

WhatTheJack

Gattuso’s a goddamn lion. Doesn’t hurt that he even looks like one

5pur2 dr00L

Also, because everyone is taller than him, other than Cazorla…

5pur2 dr00L

Oops, sorry, didn’t read your comment through!

leroy

london pride. sign him for a 20 year contract

Xanthias

Whole performance – We finally recovered from the hungover

Gunner2dMarrow

I don’t think it’s fair to give Gervinho a 5 and Giroud a 7. Was the rating based on yesterday’s match in particular or the season in general?

TomJ

Agreed…Id buy them both a Tenants

Cow

Gervinho’s is just too clumsy

Joe

Gervinho would usually be a ‘Skol’.

Breezy

Or just sparkling water

Tottenhams reckoning

He’s barely the froth

Aaberg

I was thinking sparks. All energy but you crash at the end

uddeep

Having referee problems
I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems
But the brom ain’t one

L

cheers

big black clock

“Galway Hooker” – lmao gonna try it right away thanks to you blogs

astronaut

i already googled it and will be having one today!

Cam

I think Gervinho’s rating is waaay too harsh. Sure, he missed a ridiculously easy shot, but he was very active and energetic and much more composed than usual.

Sean

Think he is more if a headless chicken than Walcott

Cam

Did you watch the game? Did he resemble a headless chicken in THIS game more often than not?

Antek

It’s fashionable to criticize Gervinho at the moment. Sheep.

Frog

It’s fashionable because he sucks.

Best in the World

reminds me of a cat chasing his tails .. runs round and round in circles but cant seem to catch it lol

UGooner

Gerv wasn’t that bad yesterday. If you’re going to talk shit when he’s really crap, atleast accept when he improves. Doesn’t look much like happening yet but I hope Gerv can catch some form again, then you’ll remind us of a dog eating his own shit. heh

Gilz

Romfords a shit hole

KidKnockout

Hey I’m from Romford and we prefer to call it ‘socially and economically challenged’.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Fuck Me! I’m Romford!!!!

Milquetoast1

Gervinho has to be Tanglefoot.

Nelson Vivas

Hope they’ll keep their spirits up and continue with this sort of performance. Solid solid and solid. The flair will come with time. Glad to see crisp passing and shots on goal again.

Arseblood

Gervinho…half a lager shandy more like!

Mickcolips

The Boye’s are back in town,couple of party sevens bag of chips,and Arsen can have a LARGE Brandy.
Fans Dive Dive Dive on down the Pub

Billybob

What are the asterisks next to Santi and Podolski for?

Clark Kent

Wenger- 8/10 Heinekken

Champions’ league maestro

Lapidarij

Wenger doesnt drink beer. He is “Tête de Cuvée” Champagne

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

We sure could do with him “Refreshing the parts”. The lads, as they are known, still look a bit tired to me.

Covgooner

*One’s a cider (?) and the other is spelt wrong for laughs

Kenyangoon

Wilshere: 8.5/10 – magic moments vodka

Des

Get santi his scuba suit, he’s going under.

L

thumbs up if you hate tottenham!

Ty

Satisfied?

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Come on, own up you two. You hit the wrong thumb, didn’t you???

M5

Gervinho Kaliber 8 for effort -10 for final ball non alcoholic fraud.

twitter@festacbox

my mates bashed theGervinator too much all through the match…….I only concurred.

undercovermancgooner

Sagna – Guiness hahaha

Jamsey

I am not a massive Gervinho fan (not sure who is) but i think he is prob overly criticised. He will likely always makes a lot of mistakes but has potential to be involved a lot/ make things happen. At the end of the day he is there to create chances/chip in with a few and i think he can do this. prob not good enough to be a key player but could be a useful squad member and who knows with time-look how bad song was to begin with. Also i don’t think his miss was just as bad… Read more »

weedwacker

Don’t do it mate. Go for a walk in the rain. It will feel like manchester without the cunts

Jamsey

i think you might be right!!

Arserob

Thought Little Mozart gave us an injection of pace and purpose 7.5 (Victory Porter)

Gervinho is the most frustrating character I have seen in a long time, Coors Light too generous (Duff Light maybe?)

Johnire

Ramsey 8/10 ! He didn’t get dispossesed all match!!!!

catbiscuits

Giroud is excellent in the air and has good movement, but his touch and link up play are really mediocre.

As much as I’m rooting for him, I don’t think he suits being in a technical side like Arsenal. Strange signing, all in all.

Lec

Agreed. Giroud’s first touch is atrocious and that’s why many a times he tries to release the ball when he first gets it. He seldom connects his passes and as much as he tries to, he doesn’t quite fit our system. We’re all rooting for him but deep down we know that’s he does not suit our type football…………

Henners

Did you not see the bit where the ball was hoofed in front of him and as it came over his head he brought it down dead still with one touch. Did you watch the match or just the MOTD highlights?

Wrighty's Gold Tooth

Guessing you didn’t see his assist for Podolski vs Montpellier then?

Lec

Which team do u think City fans will be supporting after this game?

L

City, Utd and chelski = gloryhunters

Sp*ds = scum

olprospector

The first thing I thought of arteta, dos equis. Love em

Strevs

So how long do we think it’ll take Wenger to realize Gervinho ISN”T good enough for Arsenal? It took two years of shitty Arshavin/Almunia performances for him to drop them. Do we now how have to put up with Gervinho for two years?
How does a manager, who has managed such amazing players like Bobby and Dennis carry on backing such a poor player. Should’ve called Gervinho “Up town Girl”, it’s a beer we have in Canada.

Adiiii83

This is why Wenger can’t listen to fans….Cos most of you just have one thing on ur mind regardless of the game…..It’s either Ramsey is shit, or Gervinho….Gervinho was pretty good yesterday…..Much better than than Giroud and he was better than Ox. For me giving someone a 5 rating is, when a guy just jogs on the pitch and has no impact on the game whatsoever. So what ur saying is Giroud jogs all day in the game wins a couple o headers, gets himself booked is worthy of a 7. As opposed to Gervinho, who made Reid’s day a… Read more »

Glory Hunter

Don’t think anyone can argue with your analysis! You made a very valid point!
Gerv’s performance was at least on par with Giroud if not better!

Lec

Everyone on the pitch looked insync except for Giroud. The lad looked like a fish out of water, did nothing of note and it’s no surprise Gervinho outshone him.

Monkeyboy

Giroud took a knee to his back. He wasnt moving well at all after that. You could see from the way he was trying to run it off. I ve personally experienced what it feels like and believe me it isnt easy to run off. Good thing he is getting a week off.

Strevs

This is the problem… it isn’t that he is “shit”. He’s a GOOD player. But is he good enough for a team that supposedly wants to win the league? NO! He’s a GOOD player… but he ISN”T a great player. Arsenal used to have great players. He misses far too many chances in games that matter, and he is very much of the Valencia mould – no skill, but can beat a man for pace. I love the Arsenal, but if we all want title challenges and trophies then we need great players. Why does it have to be that… Read more »

OTG

So we could stick with Walcott running the ball out play and Song being shit for how many seasons, so much that we are screaming sign da thing for walcott and berating Wenger for allowing Song to go, but Gervinho is a hopeless case?
ps: Would Pires get in those positions that Gervinho gets to?

Grabbulla

Is it possible to get a average position chart from this game compared to some earlier ones? Kinda felt that there we were more dynamic in central midfield, more like last year, opposed to what I’ probably would call a rather immobile trio cemented in there positions. Thought I saw Cazorla drop deeper than Arteta several times to gather the ball and make a play.

Happy to see hints of the real Wilshere back in form!

Bacary's right leg

gerv rating is a harsh.. he create some and got in some danagerous position.. he wasn’t the only one to miss a sitter.. if jack had finished then he would of had another assist to his name. Fair enough when hes played bad but at lest give him credit when he played alright.

non-mouse

Sarcastic jibes at our own player when he actually played well…you’re a bunch of cunts. Remember what it was like to properly support your team? Cause at the moment you’re doing it wrong.

alex

agreet. Arseblog lost some serious credibility in my eyes – sure he doesn’t give a fish’s tit what i think, but the rating of the gerv was very harsh.

In other games even when what he tries doesn’t come off, at least he TRIES.

wengers furrowed brow

arseblog lost its standard & credibility long time back when it started the ‘ holier than thou’ approach…I just read what fans has to say about the games rather than arseblog.

Andre Santos's defending...

Gervinho can make the most fantastic movements off the ball, but he makes me scream at the telly throughout the whole game with his final balls….

Canberra Gooner

In Oz, you can get a beer just for Gerv called BigHead

http://burleighbrewing.com.au/beers/bighead/

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Arsene Wenger 7/10 Redback

Man

Walcott & Gervinho: Los Pollos Hermanos

Gunnin Sean

Majority are against Arseblog’s rating of Gervinho in Saturday’s game. I believe should come out to defend himself or apologise. Don’t do a Wenger on us now Blogs. Say something.

Theo Bendtner

Gervinho: 5/10 – Coors lite

Made my day 😀

Bould's Hair Dryer

How about:
Andre Santos – Fat Tire

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Jack Wilshere: 8.5/10 – Spitfire

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

and West Brom?

Steve Clarke 1/10 Bitter

Shane Long 1/10 Bitter

Steven Reid 1/10 Bitter

Jonas Olsson 1/10 Bitter

Raj

may i suggest a takeaway food special for Bradford, thematically thre is lots of options to explore…

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