Thursday, June 1, 2023

Arsenal bring in Big Brother

Arseblog News can reveal that Arsenal will install Hawk-Eye tomorrow at the Emirates before testing the goal-line technology ahead of the Premier League curtain raiser against Aston Villa on 17 August.

Back in April the Premier League confirmed that all clubs in the country’s top flight would be using the ‘Sliver‘ style equipment after FIFA certified the system following extensive examination.

Used to great effect in both tennis and cricket, Hawk-Eye is already familiar to most sports fans. Using the principles of triangulation, the system functions by analysing both visual images and timing data to chart the trajectory of a moving ball.

Adapting their Orwellian equipment for football, Hawk-Eye believe that positioning six cameras around the goal, each programmed to recognise the ball as the ‘object of interest’ as opposed to the goalkeeper or other players, ensures that goals are recognised instantly with the referee notified on his watch inside 0.5 seconds. Unfortunately the current version doesn’t fire red-hot laser beams at diving c**ts but it’s something for the inventors to think about…

It remains to be seen whether crowds at football stadia will be treated to a big screen virtual replay of thee ball crossing the line like they do at Lords or Wimbledon although if Arsenal maintain their policy of refusing to replay controversial incidents it seems unlikely at the Emirates.

Replays will be made available to TV companies who’ll no doubt still hire moronic ex-pros to find a way to disagree with the decision.

Hawk-Eye will set Arsenal back approximately £250,000 to install and will initially be in operation for five years.

Someone really ought to update this site

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Looks more like HAL to me…


0.5 seconds, that’s nice…….


It gives the ref 0.5 seconds to screw us over.


I know you’re kidding but calling it Orwellian is a stretch.


I’m sure by saying Orwellian Blogs is just referring to the use of cameras.


It better not be our goals that get disallowed by our 250k.

glory hunter

knowing our luck, thats exactly whats going to happen 🙁


This technology is needed what once every six months through out the football league?

A system where each bench can appeal say two decisions/incidences in a game for video analysis would have been cheaper to introduce and far more beneficial.

Rad Carrot

And slow the game down to a crawl.

This will highlight when the ball has crossed the line and when it hasn’t. It’s a cheap, easy technology that will keep the game flowing. I’m all for it.


No moreso than a substitution or free-kick. If it was only used two or three times a game I think it would be good. There would need to be some rule against frivolous appeals late on just to waste time, and I can’t see the buffoons at the FA being intelligent enough to think it through in all honesty.


as opposed to the game slowing to a crawl because of players protesting the refs decision, arguing with the linesman and getting into a tussle with the opposition?! I dont think a challenge or two would slow down the game at all.


I helped Hawkeye with the sourcing of these lenses. And yes, I can confirm that IF there is a goal line incident, the Hawkeye system will display the its justification for its decision on the big jumbotron within seconds, like cricket and tennis.

Rad Carrot

That’s our budget blown!

Quick! To the PR Copter!


Well thats 250k out of our war chest…..bloody great!! Now what?!


We could get a bit of it back by selling TGSTEL – just need a buyer. Oh.


In situations where the ref isn’t sure about the goal, they should stop play and show Hawk-Eye’s decision on the big screen like they do for run-out decisions in cricket, with animations and music building up the tension.. That’d be fun.


now that, would slow down the game unnecessarily.


Yeah because the likes of Phill Dowd are clever enough to look at the watch, at the same time, the incidents happens. Just like the FFP: Bullshit. And what if Hawkeye desides to look for pastures green, after a successfull season at the Emirates? Then what? Wenger out! 🙂


We need those electric dog collars for guys like Droghba. Watch this link funniest 5 aside played with dog collars.

Mills (the other one)

Best match ever


When i read the headline , I thought we are signing the bigger of the Bender brothers :/


now if only we could sign some real class so that the numerous goals that they will contribute/score will render this cockeye tech useless..


Plenty of money in the bank to pay for it……..


So spent more cash on detecting goals than someone who may score them.

Mills (the other one)

“Someone really ought to update this site…” Tears of laughter, followed by crushing reality

Jimmy Saville

Installing Hawkeye sounds like a good idea, let’s hope they don’t have the DRS issues like they do with Cricket!


Maybe Arseblog meant Owenwellian as now we get to listen Michael Owen chatter on as a pundit.

Who The F**k are Sp*rs?

I’ll assume the FA or UEFA will be paying for this tech and if that’s the case can someone let Arsene know so he can increase Chompy’s fee to £40m and 2 whole pounds.

Thebe Itumeleng

Don’t forget to install it at Old Trafford.

Jimmy Brain's brain

They would need a special version that is only activated if it benefis Man Ure.

gooner odst

So how far are we off from laser weapons? we could have used that vs drogba on Sunday. Collateral damage will be minimal as opposed to…oh say a giant anvil.

North Bank Gooner

Did blogs think the laser beam bit through?

Or will Suarez wear a mirrored kit next season?

£40,000,001 is a lot to spend, and then zap our record signing!! 😉


or lets hack it, so that .. every goal by RVP is disallowed. 🙂

Naija Gunner

Am with you on that!


Wenger you sly dog, so this is the new arrival you were talking about. and to think we thought you were talking about big named players. I see what you did there…

Terrys ballz to baloteli's booth

What,with 6 cameras watchng flapbianski, will he cönceed less?


Such a simple thing.

It’s not going to ruin the game for which millions of pounds could be loss on the amateur decisions of the man on the spot.

Rather in an age when we as the viewer can watch instant playback of key incidents on our home screens, seems anachronistic not to introduce goal line technology. Simply daft and the domain of the ludites.


I think all penalty decisions should be automatically reviewed prior to the kick being taken and the decision rescinded if necessary


Classic suggestion re. the lasers and the diving c#nts, now that would be entertainment

Naija Gunner

Finally we are spending some f**king money!!!

Die Hard Gunner

Cameras instead of players?…Wenger out

[…] 来源:[arseblog news] […]


A step in the right direction for sure, goal line technology is an easy fix. I think a system similar to Tennis where teams would get 2-3 calls a game for decisions would be a brilliant idea, it wouldn’t cause constant stoppages as teams would have to choose their calls wisely, unlikely to be challenging for a wrong throw in decision, and decisions would be made quickly upon video evidence..

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