Arsenal’s AGM took place today and after all the speeches and formalities, there were questions for the board to answer. We’ve listed the top 10 questions that may, or may not, have been answered.*
1 – Sometimes when it’s very sunny, it’s hard to make out the players in certain areas of the pitch. Will the club consider providing fans with thermal imaging spectacles to enable them to see the game more fully?
2 – Will there be a seat on the board for Alisher Usmanov? If so, can the club afford a chair of that size after the purchase of Mesut Özil?
3 – Is it true that Arsenal have invested in a hip-hop studio to enable Frimpong’s career to progress?
4 – If Stan Kroenke won’t meet with supporters’ groups, would he at least send them some risque selfies on SnapChat?
5 – With holdings in Denver (John Denver), and London (Jack London), does Mr Kroenke think Mica Paris would be alarmed if he bought a stake in a club in the French capital?
6 – Do the new chairman’s children get confused when asked if they prefer Daddy or Chips?
7 – Have the club made attempts to get a shaving sponsor, e.g Gillette or Wilkinson Sword, so as to rid Nicklas Bendtner of his unfortunate facial growth? If not, shouldn’t the commercial team be more cut-throat?
8 – Are there any plans to immortalise Mikel Arteta’s hair with a statue of some sort?
9 – The club currently offers supporters a choice of the following condiments on match-days: tomato ketchup, mayonnaise, American-style mustard and brown sauce. Given our newly improved financial status might a world class addition such as burger sauce or ranch dressing be added to the roster in the near future?
10 – Will the club offer platinum level members (with 40+ away credits) the chance to spend an evening in a hot tub with Olivier Giroud?
* or, indeed, even asked.