The top 10 questions from Arsenal’s AGM

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Arsenal AGM 2013

Arsenal’s AGM took place today and after all the speeches and formalities, there were questions for the board to answer. We’ve listed the top 10 questions that may, or may not, have been answered.*

1 – Sometimes when it’s very sunny, it’s hard to make out the players in certain areas of the pitch. Will the club consider providing fans with thermal imaging spectacles to enable them to see the game more fully?

2 – Will there be a seat on the board for Alisher Usmanov? If so, can the club afford a chair of that size after the purchase of Mesut Özil?

3 – Is it true that Arsenal have invested in a hip-hop studio to enable Frimpong’s career to progress?

4 – If Stan Kroenke won’t meet with supporters’ groups, would he at least send them some risque selfies on SnapChat?

5 – With holdings in Denver (John Denver), and London (Jack London), does Mr Kroenke think Mica Paris would be alarmed if he bought a stake in a club in the French capital?

6 – Do the new chairman’s children get confused when asked if they prefer Daddy or Chips?

7 – Have the club made attempts to get a shaving sponsor, e.g Gillette or Wilkinson Sword, so as to rid Nicklas Bendtner of his unfortunate facial growth? If not, shouldn’t the commercial team be more cut-throat?

8 – Are there any plans to immortalise Mikel Arteta’s hair with a statue of some sort?

9 –  The club currently offers supporters a choice of the following condiments on match-days: tomato ketchup, mayonnaise, American-style mustard and brown sauce. Given our newly improved financial status might a world class addition such as burger sauce or ranch dressing be added to the roster in the near future?

10 – Will the club offer platinum level members (with 40+ away credits) the chance to spend an evening in a hot tub with Olivier Giroud?

* or, indeed, even asked.

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Niall
Niall

Genius.

Larry
Larry

Blogs at it again 😀

Arsene nose
Arsene nose

11 Why did the chicken cross the road?

Rejected
Rejected

Q11: Mr. Kroenke, are the moustache real?

Rejected
Rejected

Q12: Who is Arteta’s barber? Could he/she be a darling and work on TGTEL?

Posty
Posty

11. Has Arsenal purchased third-party insurance for all the hapless opponents that are going to be crunched by Mathieu Flamini this season?

Flegly
Flegly

Q12 Please tell us you love us and that we are very important in the decision making process…..pretty please!! p.s. you are rubbish because we haven’t won a trophy for a squazillion years

Le_Dooner
Le_Dooner

Might I suggest Honey Mustard sauce? The Ozil of condiments.

therewillbebears
therewillbebears

Can’t thumb this up enough. Nail. Head. BOSH!

therewillbebears
therewillbebears

Can’t thumb this up enough. Nail. Head. BOSH!

flundberg
flundberg

I need 40 away points pronto.

Emannuel Eboue
Emannuel Eboue

Hot tub with Giroud. *drool*

AP
AP

Hot tub goal machine 😀

Jackio
Jackio

Who disliked this?

Finsbury Park Gooner
Finsbury Park Gooner

Q54) When is Arsene finally going to get a zip technician?

Silverstre for the Ballon d'OR
Silverstre for the Ballon d'OR

11- Why didn’t we buy Samba knowing how BIG he is?

Sharpehunter
Sharpehunter

Not wearing this, has to be made up. What fucking imbecile would ask a question about condiments for fucks sake!

Unnecessarilystupid
Unnecessarilystupid

Not sure if extending the joke, or shouldn’t be allowed near the internet.

rawgooner
rawgooner

Sharp? Nah!

Adam Richards
Adam Richards

So the other 9 questions are bang on the mark then?

Supernintendo chalmers
Supernintendo chalmers

Q12. Describe and explain in clear terms photosynthesis?

Tapscotts Testicles
Tapscotts Testicles

Number 6……fucking brilliant…still chuckling half an hour later…!

Joe
Joe

Q11. How did @Sharpehunter get to Q9 before he started thinking they were made up questions?

jw
jw

Q11 – Do you know who that guy was in the Puma top on the Arseblog news the other week with Henry, Giroud and Sagna?

Zorro in the box
Zorro in the box

Heard it was Linford Christie..

jayjay
jayjay

Who??

Silverstre for the Ballon d'OR
Silverstre for the Ballon d'OR

I think it was Laurent Blanc, the French national team coach.

ringo
ringo

I heard it was Shaquille O’neal, former NBA player turned Puma spokesman.

muchadoaboutnot
muchadoaboutnot

Given the new commercial wealth, quite obvious the club can afford to buy Usmanov a chair. But it may not be prudent given that the resource is needed to buy a world class striker in January.

WingardiumIdiota
WingardiumIdiota

Yeah, people as large as Usmanov don’t need chairs. Their backsides alone provide self-sufficient comfort.

Rejected
Rejected

Will sp*rs ever be any good? They are still bullshit even after spending 100m+ on new cunts..

gunnerjoe
gunnerjoe

Why would anyone give a thumbs down to pointing out how shit spurs are on this site.

Gutbukkit Deffrolla
Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Spud visitor checking out the greener grass.

Merde Bag
Merde Bag

Q11 Park, why?

Adam Richards
Adam Richards

Park; Where?

AP
AP

Ans: No Parking Zone

Geezer
Geezer

A. Park who? I don’t know him.

Rang
Rang

#8 Mr. CEO said never in a million years!

Arsene McCloud
Arsene McCloud

Stan has plans for that hair when Arteta retires.

AGunner
AGunner

no 3 & 4 are hilarious, burst out laughing at work like a mad man! Cheers for the entertainment Bloggs!

NCGooner
NCGooner

I liked Q#2 the best … well done sir!! Very well done !!!

Trippytikataka
Trippytikataka

11. Please can you represent the concepts of financial responsibility through the medium of dance?

The Artist formerly known as DangerMouse
The Artist formerly known as DangerMouse

There will probably be some people who read this article and believe it. There always is. ‘ A recording studio for Frimpong? A scandalous waste of money! Whats going on at our club ! etc etc etc …

idk
idk

Gazidis on Bale : “Unfortunately he doesn’t play for Tottenham Hotspur. He now plays for one of our rivals.” That’s a ripper 😛

Boogiegooner
Boogiegooner

Heh..

Mills (the other one)
Mills (the other one)

Up there with all the hilarity from above … Who knew he was such a top class one-liner?!?!

Chris
Chris

Q.87 – will the club recognise how upset Tim Payton is that our owner has not invited him for a chat over a can of Mountain Dew in the long room at Lords? Surely the club must understand how important every fan of the club feels about this?

Tommy Gun
Tommy Gun

Q14) Can we please get Henry back? Don’t really care, stick him in goal or something

Kevin Campbell
Kevin Campbell

Another waste of an article.

Adam Richards
Adam Richards

But top draw for the time you spent in making your thought provoking comment. Bravo.

Hot Tub Repair Man
Hot Tub Repair Man

11. Will Roy Chubby Hodgson be playing the players lounge as part of his stand-up tour?

nickmange
nickmange

Q13 what the fuck are we doing with park?

Colneygooner
Colneygooner

Q11. What is the point of a rhetorical question?

papas
papas

Q42: with Arshavin now departed, does it mean pies are now available again for the long suffering pie-starved gooner? Thank you so much..can I have mine with Chips please?

Geezer
Geezer

There are a lot of pies available now. Most of them are humble pies.

The Real Gazidis
The Real Gazidis

Hi papas,
No problem, Chips says he’ll meet you in the Royal Oak food court at half-time on Saturday and you can have a pie and fries with him. He’ll get the beers in.

Arsene McCloud
Arsene McCloud

Q: What do you think of Tottenham?

The Real Gazidis
The Real Gazidis

Who?

santori
santori

What the F is with this Oliver Giroud shit? This manly love is getting a bit well…and he isn’t even that handsome. Why I just saw someone better looking in the mirror today.;)

Jim S
Jim S

So you saw Giroud’s reflection in the mirror and he looks even hotter in reverse? Damn he’s good!

Black Hei
Black Hei

Q11. Does Mrs Blogs find your man crush on Giroud disturbing?

Cheyu
Cheyu

I pray 4 u arseblog and all d other gays dt lyk dis site. arsenal is great bt u av 2 repent from sin in d name of r lrd jesus amen

Smudger
Smudger

I repented from sin in the name of our lord Dennis Bergkamp, does that count?

Silverstre for the Ballon d'OR
Silverstre for the Ballon d'OR

HAHAHAHAHA
Comment of the month

Chris
Chris

Jesus plays for City doesn’t he?

Millsy0911
Millsy0911

Speak English Cheyu

Jim S
Jim S

if your going to try and hate ate least follow the rules:

1. text speak is not permitted, full words in English please.

2. the only hate speak allowed is: John Terry is a cunt

Gutbukkit Deffrolla
Gutbukkit Deffrolla

8 – Are there any plans to immortalise Mikel Arteta’s hair with a statue of some sort?

We have no immediate plans for a statue, but we have heard your calls for a roof over the stadium. When it’s design was discussed Arteta’s hair was the number one choice amongst the board. Plans have been submitted and Building Permission has already been granted.

On a side note, we can reveal that Arteta’s hair is to have the lead role in next years Lego Movie. The hair will be paid six million pounds for it’s image rights, and an extra pound was thrown in for the use of the rest of his body. In connected news, Lego have have also submitted the winning tender to build the Arteta Roof, and even as we speak they have begun installing the studs on the top of the stadium walls onto which the roof will be pressed. A Lego Emirates boxed set featuring an Arteta figure and iconic roof is to be released as a tie-in to the new movie.