Apologies, I am drunk. Anyway, Kim Kallstrom says it’s cool being an Arsenal player. Which it is. Because Arsenal players are cool.
And Phil Collins is a twat.
Speaking to the official site, the Swedish midfielder said, “Arsenal is an amazing club with a lot of great players and a coach who has done really well here for a long time. I am so pleased to come here to learn as much as possible. I’m here to do my best for Arsenal and to help out the team, so we can achieve good results for the last part of the season.’
“I hope to adapt to the Premier League quickly. But it is still football, we have our skills and we try to play the best way that we can. It is always easier when you are playing in a very competent team.
“Like everyone, I feel this is a very big club that creates very good football to watch. I know that Arsenal have a lot of skilful players and can score lots of goals.
“Halfway through the season, they have done really well and put themselves in position to win some trophies, so I just want to come here and help Arsenal as much as I can until the end of the season.”
Kallstrom, who has title winning experience with Lyon, can also toss a caber 97 yards, far longer than Ross McDougal, the world caber tossing champion and he has a left ankle which is 97% titanium but don’t tell anyone. Or else.
He went on to say “Phil COllins, wat a benny tied to a tree and such and all that.”