Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Kallstrom: Arsenal is amazing

Apologies, I am drunk. Anyway, Kim Kallstrom says it’s cool being an Arsenal player. Which it is. Because Arsenal players are cool.

And Phil Collins is a twat.

Speaking to the official site, the Swedish midfielder said, “Arsenal is an amazing club with a lot of great players and a coach who has done really well here for a long time. I am so pleased to come here to learn as much as possible. I’m here to do my best for Arsenal and to help out the team, so we can achieve good results for the last part of the season.’

“I hope to adapt to the Premier League quickly. But it is still football, we have our skills and we try to play the best way that we can. It is always easier when you are playing in a very competent team.

“Like everyone, I feel this is a very big club that creates very good football to watch. I know that Arsenal have a lot of skilful players and can score lots of goals.

“Halfway through the season, they have done really well and put themselves in position to win some trophies, so I just want to come here and help Arsenal as much as I can until the end of the season.”

Kallstrom, who has title winning experience with Lyon, can also toss a caber 97 yards, far longer than Ross McDougal, the world caber tossing champion and he has a left ankle which is 97% titanium but don’t tell anyone. Or else.

Shhhhhh.

He went on to say “Phil COllins, wat a benny tied to a tree and such and all that.”

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Jag77

Go home arseblog, you’re drunk.

Tired

I’m drunk and tired!

henley gooner

BBC site says he’s injured already!

Fed Up

Sigh..

Heroldgoon

I’m mad drunk at Kallstrom but i shouldn’t be, he did not beg to be signed, Arsene Wenger came in for him and his club were more than happy to see him leave. You only leave on loan when you’re not playing as regularly as you should right? and when you’re on the bench for the mighty Spartak moscow! is that what gave away how massively he would improve us eh?? Hahaha so ultimately if kallstrom or the team struggles he should not be blamed, Arsene the person should get the stick and he should take it like a man… Read more »

Heroldgoon

I’m mad drunk at Kallstrom but i shouldn’t be, he did not beg to be signed, Arsene Wenger came in for him and his club were more than happy to see him leave. You only leave on loan when you’re not playing as regularly as you should right? and when you’re on the bench for the mighty Spartak moscow! is that what gave away how massively he would improve us eh?? Haha. so ultimately if kallstrom or the team struggles he should not be blamed, Arsene the person should get the stick and he should take it like a man… Read more »

Dee

Spartak Moscow has, among others, players like Lucas Barrios, Serdar Tasci, Tino Costa and Salvatore Bochetti, whom you should know if you have been following this whole football thingy. Now I’m not too sure of that, cause if you actually were following the whole football thingy, you’d realize that we’re in the running for the championship, with a decent chance for the FA cup as well, which kind of says that Arsene is a decent manager. And just a couple of random thoughts. You cannot buy if noone wants to sell and for some incredibly strange reason which I’m yet… Read more »

Heroldgoon

I like how you incooporate insults in your well thought out comment. i like it really.

I’m hoping he does well but i have a feeling he was bought simply for the numbers in MF, this window has been generally underwhelming. though it could pave way for Kallstrom to go about his business queitly and effectively and i would like that, finally let’s not forget the humongous twat that i am. Great.

Pearson

Was Thierry Henry setting the world on fire when Wenger signed him?
Don’t be a pessimist. Wenger may have found a rough diamond here

Heroldgoon

Hahaha stop just stop

Thegunninggunnerthatguns

He is the type of midfielder that shoots from distance. Which we haven’t had since Ray Parlour.

arsenalista

I’m more concerned with possession than long shots honestly. The team is cohesive defensively and there’s obviously class in the attack evidenced by the goals in difficult games. But, ironically for Arsenal, our undoing has been our inability to keep possession and string some passes together. Our supposed strength has been our weakness weirdly. Hoping that Kallstrom will help in that regard. Ramsey is out for two months — 6 weeks plus get back match fit. Wilshere is obviously hobbled and will probably take to the pitch prematurely. Flamini did a, well, Flamini. And Arteta is a great steadying influence… Read more »

Thegunninggunnerthatguns

To defend better you have to concede possession in certain offensive areas.

p

Santi Cazorla

czebex

Mate, you forgot mighty shots of Denilson?

el blondo

Arsenal is amazing. I wish I was drunk.

Ally

All Arseblog News posts to be written while drunk, please.

Dr Baptiste

I thought it always was…

AllGunsABlazin

Isn’t that how everything works in Ireland, or am I severely misinformed?

Holmenkollen

Wait, what? You’re implicating they do work in Ireland? Well, that’s a definite TIL experience.

MacedonianGooner

I’m offensive and i find this Irish!

Toby C

That’s how everything works everywhere!

*Smokin'Gunner*

I will wait and see kallstrom he is before judging

arsenalista

Swedish friend says his best days are well and truly behind him. He doesn’t even start at Spartak. BUT he does have class and I imagine Wenger wants him as a steadying influence rather than as a world beater..

*Smokin'Gunner*

Could do a job like Yossi, that turned out pretty well

bitterwhensober

Flamini’s best days were behind him when he re-signed. Turned out all right.

Tho

I’m Swedish and I know Källström quite well. His glory days may be behind him, but he does have class. He used to be the most interesting prospect in Swedish football, perhaps he didn’t quite lived up the megahype, but he’s not a nobody by any means. I have no idea if he will make it in the BPL but I feel that all the stick he’s getting at the moment is a great injustice. He is experienced, has a hard hitting left foot and do have a thing for set-pieces. Excellent work rate, hard tackler. But I feel that… Read more »

alberic

How do you manage writing blogs while wasted and without mistakes bro??????? teach me..

Dara

You are Drunk

Heroldgoon

I’m pretty drunk right now it being friday and all (and a deadline with mixed feelings) but i think kim Kallstrom could be a player for us. Anyhoo we will find all this out later i guess. Welcome Kim Kosmos…..i mean kall-stan! i mean kallstrom! welcome to the Arsenal.

*bartender Hit me!

Gary Ozil

Trying too hard mate

rawgooner

I think if had been someone other than the ‘Goon’, he would have got more thumbs up!

Heroldgoon

My reputation goes against peoples better judgement so they thumb all my shit down. i dont care for them anyway….

Toby C

Also, the goon talks shite.

AmericanGooner

It’s funny we talk down the boy because of his age. Rosicky is 33 and destroying a football still. I say we give him a chance.

arsenalista

It’s also funny how old our non-injured midfield has gotten.

Holmenkollen

Destroying club-owned footballs should be prohibited and severely penalised. Every destroyed piece of training equipment WILL come off the Drax fund.

Benis

All we are saying, is give Kim a chance!

Swedegunner

Swedes call him Kongo-Kim for some reason

Toure Motors

Is it because he drinks umbongo?

Dr Baptiste

But only in the Congo

dink arnold

While playing the bongo?

Heroldgoon

Where’s Sanogo?

WindyCityArse

Laughing at the cunt from Togo.

Jesper

Why not try to add a bit of… bongo?

(reference, anyone? no?)

teddy salad

anybody want a peanut?

Gruggy

Could easily be this season’s Yossi.

dink arnold

I loved Yossi, I hope you’re right!

GoonTang

Since Frimpong is now gone, who will teach him the art of Sp*rs hatred?

dink arnold

Szczesny

99

Wojo. He’ll be singing anti-Sp*rs original tunes in no time.

GoonTang

Actually come to think of it, recent events have shown even Santi can take that job. I can sleep easy tonight.

Pearson

He hated Spurs since he was born.
Evidence: he has five fingers and five toes, his knuckles don’t drag on the floor when he lopes, and he is not drooling from the corners of his mouth.
That means that he hates Spurs

Arsene nose

What’s most important is that the players believe that they are good enough and not buy into baseless opinions of premium cunts like Piers morgan and the incompetent ‘pundits’ ..

Arseblood

Because he is sooooo much better than Eisfield and Frimpong. Wenger has blown it. Our last chance…fucked.

Dr Baptiste

Is the season over? Shit, I missed the last few months and now I am clearly very late for work…..

Where did the last 4 months go?

AFCEdwards

Our season ended with a draw away at Southampton and it was made even worse by the fact that Chelsea showed their superiority by holding West Ham to a magnificent point in front of their own fans.

特别的人

Fuck wenger man I mean, because of him we got ozil, a good financial system, future world class beaters and balance in experience, what a pile of shit, I wish he signed draxler for fucks sake, he can drax us to the effin treble!11!!1 #wignar #out a draw at southampton, one of the toughest clubs away? We expected a win for every single game wignar, fcking shame on you.

jack jack jack

This squad has got us this far, there’s no reason why it can’t get us the rest of the way. We haven’t sold anyone, and last time I checked we were the best team in the country over the last 12 months. We’ve got Mesut Özil. We’ve got Cazorla. If anyone thinks we’re going to give up on this title race without a fight they don’t know Arsene Wenger, and they haven’t met Per Mertesacker. Or Jack Wilshere for that matter.

Now grow up and get behind the fucking team.

rawgooner

Best fucking line on here for ages. You heard him, ‘Get behind this fucking team!!’

Holmenkollen

What Jack^3 said there.

UGooner

After Özil now Källström… Yayyyyyyy two more umlauts! Treble?

Rufusstan

Word!

Fuck. When did I get old?

Baz

I’m drunk and about to whack one out thanks to youporn

kafka

try cliphunter instead lol.

Sarson Vinegar's frightening sarnie

Did you know Kim Kallstrom once shot dead 3 banditos because they laughed at his mule?

His mule didn’t like them laughing.

Shan

Lets wait and see. I think he can do alot of good and he has a winning mentality. 108 caps holy balls of glory

Ib

Do we really wanna win the Epl? We need top top player and not kim. kim is kim not what arsenal need to win come may

dink arnold

so many ways to end your name

ib stupid
ib boring
ib classless
ib lame

well, ib drunk and ib goddamned if ima let you put down the Arsenal and their new signing. He’S an Arsenal player now and he deserves our support.

Up The Arse!

duno

Am also drunk,sleep drunk that it is…Oh well, Everybody loves Arsenal Storm unless you re Spuds or Moaning Mou or about every English ref…Well, u get the picture and can continue with the endless list. Am turning in that’s it!

Zenny

Even after paying those absurd ticket prices this is what we get….fking joke

gunnermite

cant agree with u more

AFCEdwards

Yeah he’s gonna walk out there on his own as that is what you and you alone have bought us. Thanks. #ZennyOut

ghanagunner

nobody forces you to buy. assuming you actually buy. I am sure spurs is down the road.

Mick Champness

Think Wenger is drunk as, once again, he has jeopardised our chances of silverware because he won’t take his fucking hands out of his pocket. He has too much power at the club and to get a new contract before the end of this season is a disgrace!!!

Merlin's Panini

Off topic: West Brom got some striker called Thievy Bifouma. An absolute steal…

Jamie walker

Fail

JimmyFeel

Remember this day people. We can look back in 4 months time and wonder when we had the chance, why we didn’t have the stones to go for it. 3rd is an improvement I guess.

French go on err

drunk reading this in las rambles. in an Irish bar that doesn’t,t fell very irtish

GreekTragedy

Absolutely gutted. That we brought Kim in solely due to injuries implies that Wnger and co believe the team we have, a team who are two injuries away from crisis, is good enough to challenge for the title.

When every single Arsenal fan knows we are a few quality players light, when there is money to spend, when we’re in a position for the first time in ages to show some intent, we do nothing. Good luck to Kim and all, but I really expected a little better.

S j little

A manager too small for a big club with weak management! However, if they had a strong management Wenger would be retired.
Only a dreaming Arsenal fan would now believe this team will win anything.m

UGooner

Oh dear…

Arsepedant

So few words, yet so much stupidity.

Pissed again

I heard messi was signing, then my kids told me gullible had been removed from the dictionary. Pesky kids

Rakesh

Kallstrom out hitzelburger in

Captain's Armband

Meanwhile, in a satellite television studio, Jim White is having a cold – sweat, thousand yard stare wank whilst looking at the “Totaliser”, whatever that is.

Natalie Sawyer is sat next to Jim, looking on grimly, trying her very best not to bounce Jim’s scone off the desk until his skull splits, his neck snaps, or until he stops breathing…or preferably all three.

Marcus

Kim Källström Ate my hamster

Ben

Ok we’re all drunk!

Welcome to Arsenal Kim!

the only sam is nelson

PARK GOES TO WATFORD OH THE HUMANITY etc etc

Pearson

Watch him score hundreds of goals there, like Gervinho at Roma

Anand modha

He is now a gooner, that is all that matters. Who cares what could be, all that matters is what is. Fuck city, Chelsea and all their spending.

WizardOfOzil

Just got in to see how things have panned out and I’m absolutely gutted and raging. We have let Park go.

AP

Ah damn, now all the arsenal players’ supercars will have dented bumpers, no park assist

Jammathon
Pearson

Oh dear, I thought he looked like a classy intelligent bloke, then I saw that haircut. At least he is back to normal.
I think he is going to be a classy player who will make a positive contribution like Benayoun

Wilkö

Clearly this is a photo of Franny Jeffers.

jack jack jack

The original fox in the box. What the hell happened to him?

Oliviers6Pack

Finally someone who can make a dead ball talk.

edwardgibbon

This may yet be our season however things are beginning to conspire agin us: injuries, the possible resurgence of manky united & unwillingness of AW to get players to win us the power and the glory. Are we likely to come so close again?

Arsepedant

Yes, Manky Utd sure resurged today, didn’t they. Even had their three most better than average players playing.

Dial square

@S j little, don’t you think we would all like to see 2 or 3 £30 million pound signings, but that’s not the ideal of how Arsenal is run as a football club.
When you buy into supporting the club you also buy into the self sustaining way the club operates, if you don’t like it, Chelsea and Man City would be a better bet for you…

Lasagna

He isnn’t the signing we wanted. But one thing I can say is he will atleast booster our setpieces, which could only get better ofcourse. But his setpieces is rather good. Though if everyone stay out of any longer injury problem at the moment we won’t be having to use him

Northug

Sure hope Giroud don’t get injured and got some superhuman stamina which he will need with all the games he is going to be playing. I don’t see Bendtner spearheading our title challenge. Kim Kallstrom however have won more trophies than most in our squad, and might bring some winning mentality. He also a great personality and will have a positive impact both on and off the pitch. Also got a deadly left foot like poldi, and very capable of putting them in from distance or on set pieces. Albeit he is currently out of form, so lets hope he… Read more »

Tony Hall

Too many doommeisters on here. Sure we need a striker, that’s not to say le boss and co didn’t try to sign one but the sort of quality we need, the costa’s, the martinez etc do not move clubs in January transfer windows. Sure the Drax would have been nice but not at that price, more likely to come in the summer if we do buy him. We have plenty of midfielders who can chip in with 10+ goals so we need to stop whining and get behind the team. Oh and let’s make our new guy feel welcome, he… Read more »

Fatgooner

What a fucking joke. Is this it, then? With just one half-decent striker at the club; with two of our best players, Walcott and Ramsey, with long term injuries; and with an obvious need for an experienced central defender, all Wenger does is sign a thirtysomething Swedish midfielder on loan? Le Prof and the club are absolutely taking the piss. What has happened in this transfer window just sums up the complete lack of ambition at Arsenal these days. There was an excellent post from Miranda a couple of weeks ago which beautifully surmised the ridiculous and outrageous situation at… Read more »

Alex Cutter

Thank you for saving me a lot of typing.

the only sam is nelson

you are aware that arsene wenger told david dein to sign dennis bergkamp, aren’t you?

just saying, like. david dein knows fuck all about football which is why he let wenger guide his transfer dealings. which kind of undermines your entire screed. you *might* be better off suggesting that the current lot are less efficient at landing the talent wenger identifies than david dein was, but then you don’t appear to be suggesting that. you seem to be blaming the manager for what dick law and gazidis can or cannot deliver.

never mind, though.

Fatgooner

It’s Wenger who baulks whenever the selling club demands a reasonable price for their player. You know as well as I that Wenger has complete control at the club these days, Sam. Fox or Gazidis won’t overrule Wenger.

jack jack jack

In what way is £37m for an unproven 20-year-old who hasn’t won anything in the game a ‘reasonable asking price’? Get a fucking clue mate. Same old shit we had to listen to in the summer from you. And there I was thinking the Özil deal might shut you up once and for all.

Heroldgoon

Times have changed, market prices doesn’t neccesarily reflect quality of player. Though in Draxlers case we should have just sorted this deal out because come now, come in the summer the clause will always be £37M. Pay up!

Abit of stingyness here and there i supppose

Dr Baptiste

Didn’t Bruce Ricoh sign Bergkamp?

Witoldo

Yes. But only after Wenger, who was currently managing in Japan, called up David Dein apparently.

Eng

toy and pram

Welcome Kim!!

AP

what the hell man, Kim is an improvement over Ozil, hes got 2 umlauts 🙂

jack jack jack

I suppose you’ve completely ignored us spending £42.5m on one player because it doesn’t fit with your narrative that we have no ambition. You genuinely think Wenger doesn’t care about winning stuff, and just wants to make money off the club? What a load of shite. Same old Fatgooner. Same old poisonous rubbish. Can’t wait to rant and rave when he doesn’t get what he wants.

It’s obvious that there wasn’t a good option available to bring in up front, so we got what we could. Who could we have brought in who is better than Bendtner?

bard

fatgooner’s got his predictions wildly wrong on numerous occasions, so take his analyses with a pinch of salt.

Penis

Good facking signing

we just need an extra warm body to throw in midfield to see us through the next few weeks as Ramsey and Flamini come back

I still want to see Sanogo play, he seems to have been hitting the gym pretty hard

GUNNERS-ÅLAND

IN SWEDEN THEY CALL HIM KONGO KIM. HIS WORST ENEMY IS TACO-ANDY (ANDERS SVENSSON, ONCE HE PLAYED IN SUNDERLAND)

GUNNERS-ÅLAND

SORRY, TACO-ANDY PLAYED IN SOUTHAMPTON

H. P Arsecraft

I’m drunk in Prag (holiday) and I just want too say fuck the title, the fa cup and the bribed league. We will go for it and maybe we will fail but who gives a shit!? We are the Arsenal and the future is ours! If not this year then maybe next or the next after that. The only constant is that the retarded chicken on a bathball will never ever win the league. By the way, Källström could be a great piece of business. He will fight like a madmen and give his all for the club. Good vision,… Read more »

Alex Cutter

What else is he going to say?

His thirty-year-old bench-riding ass just got un-exiled from butt-fuck Russia.

He should be fellating anyone he sees wearing Arsenal gear.

Alex Cutter

The only reason I can think of for not signing ANY striker, is that Wenger doesn’t think they can win the league this year — even if they got one.

He’s putting all of his eggs in next year’s basket. As if they’ll have this kind of opportunity next year.

Also, don’t count on seeing Ramsey or Jack much the rest of the season.

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