Theo Walcott won’t face disciplinary action from the FA for reminding Sp*rs fans that their side are pants.
The England international was caught on camera brazenly taunting supporters of our shadow-living neighbours about the scoreline as he was stretchered from the field of play, all the while gurning like he’d lunched on a bag of molly.
It was, let’s be honest, bloody funny. Even more so because it was Theo and he’s such a ruddy play-it-by-the-book-goody-two-shoes.
Despite being hilarious, some sensitive souls felt the ‘issue’ was worthy of a meeting at Wembley, the result of which is a letter to Theo which will be winging it’s way to our number 14 courtesy of a first class stamp. It says, don’t do it again.
The head honchos at both Arsenal and Tottenham will also be receiving letters kindly asking them to identify those numpties who decided to throw coins at Walcott as the incident unfolded. Unconfirmed reports suggest Daniel Levy is on the verge of dobbing in Tim Sherwood on the off chance any ensuing banning order will magically undo his latest coaching appointment.