Monday, November 28, 2022

Koscielny: Victoria Accordian Crescit

Accordian to the Guardian (boom boom), Laurent Koscielny has donated a hefty sum to help save a musical instrument manufacturer in his home town of Tulle, France.

The centre-back, who ruins the lining of his suits by pocketing strikers on a weekly basis, is reported to have helped donate €600,000 to Maugein, a local business that has made accordians since 1919.

The business, threatened with closure and the loss of 20 jobs, is understood to have appealed to the French international via the local mayor; an advisor to President Francois Hollande who also grew up in the area.

It’s a lovely gesture from Koscielny and comes just 24 hours after he’s called on the Gunners fraternity to ordain him with a terrace chant.

Luckily, always eager to give back, Arseblog News readers have solved that problem for him.


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Class is permanent


That song needs to happen!


When you didn’t think you could love this guy more, he goes and does this!

“He wants his own soooong”

Si in Galway

Song update.

He wants his own song,
He wants his own song,
Laurent Koscielny,
And an accordion…


you mean *Accordions* ? . .. I love his keen interest to music. he wants a song and he gives music a chance.


Cue the ‘easily offended’ who will no doubt be annoyed by the Arsenal

Gunner From Another Mother

How could you even say that?

Owen Coyle's Nutsack

He comes from Lor-ient,
He saves accor-dians


Victory indeed, in “harmony”.


When I first heard this story, I was like d’accord[ian]

*taps mic*

Is this thing on?

You’ve been a great audience, try the veal, and tip your waitress!


Actually the article says “French media reported that Koscielny is part of an investment group that had put up €600,000 (£495,000) to save the factory from closure”, which is not quite the same thing as Kos stumping up the dosh himself. Nevertheless, good on the man.

Gunner From Another Mother

Are you and blogs doing everything you can to spread the word on his new chant? We need to be in full voice tomorrow in the depths of Mordor!


Who’ll pocket Koscienly’s pockets?


The gospel accordian to Laurent.

It’s ok, I’m already in the cloakroom queue…


What is love?
Laurent Koscielny
my love.

And I’m gone.


Ahaha I love that!


Next week he’s going to save a mouth organ factory.

Victory through harmonica


I read someone’s post regarding the lyrics

He won’t let you pass
He won’t let you paaaasss
Laurent Koscielny
He won’t let you pass

Thought this was effective. But the other one is cool

Master Bates

That suits Mertesacker ,Being as tall as gandalf and all.


The Guardian mangled that story somewhat, so in the interest of accuracy here’s what the original French sources are actually saying: Kos has become part of the takeover of an accordion factory in his native Tulle that’s currently in receivership. The takeover will cost €600.000, and part of that money will be stumped up by our defender. Eleven of the seventeen employees will be able to keep their job thanks to the new investment.

So one of our central defenders now owns an accordion factory.

And I thought our team couldn’t get any more likeable.

French sources:


I’d like to hear his name sung to the tune of Guantanamera.


Gotta have an accordian celebration with his next goal…

less rambly pete

Well it seems we’re up to 3 verses to the same tune.

He wants his own song,
He wants his own soooong,
Laurent Koscielny
He wants his own song.

he won’t let you past
he wont let you paaast…..

He likes accordians,
he like accordiaaaans….

He’s got great big pockets…

We’re well on the way to quite the epic.


Kos is A# defender…

Brady's Mistress

A Major defender …

less rambly pete



I believe he deserves more than that, teams like bayern munich and barcelona wanted koscielny and he denied them for the ARSENAL and he deserves a better song than that

i read this song which i thought was really good, might not be exactly the same but it was better than he wants his own song crap

Koss the boss
he wont let you cross
koss the boss
koss the boss


Because rhyming Koscielny wasn’t hard enough, now we have to get accordion in there too…


The strikers they dread,
From blue white and red,


If you check in kozza’s pocket
you will see SAS,
you will sell lewandoski
you will see Torres
as well as RVP
down down below
kozza is surely the boss


If you check in kozza’s pocket
you will see SAS,
you will see lewandoski
you will see Torres
as well as RVP
down down below
kozza is surely the boss


Laurent Koscielny
Loves accordions

Gunneracross the atlantic

Bloody hell.. we just cant stop loving this clowny kos.. fantastic human being.. 🙂 COYG


I can’t wait to hear this tomorrow


Just what the world needs. More accordions.


I thought the accordian was quintessentially German? Maybe Per will play the Stoke game with a berret and onions on a string round his neck. Then we will know they’ve truly bonded.

0ffbeat madoda

accordion is a huge part of french music. When i think of Germanic accordion use, i think of your typical oompah band-very metronomic, straight, and structured. French accordion music has more of a flow and feels more dynamic. (At least from what i’ve heard; i’m by no means an expert).

The ghost of Pascal Cygan

To the tune of I Love You baby by Frankie Valli….

He’s better than alright,
The spurs are shite,
Duh-de, Duh-de, Duh-de-de-Duh-de-de-de-de-e…..


‘Cause I’m Koscielny, yes I’m the real Scielny
All you other Koscielny’s are just imitating
So won’t the real Koscielny please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

tune: Eminem – The Real Slim Shady


Kos-ci-el-ny & Sat-is-fac-tion

Koscielny’s Satisfaction

“Hey hey hey
Koscielny won’t give you lot no SATISFACTION
That’s what I say”

Might can work?

Robust Associations of Massive Baryonic Objects

To Snoop Dogg’s “Bosses Life”

See me man, I ain’t nothin like you. I got the kinda swagga that you ain’t used to.
Got keepers in my pocket, cock bangin’
Me, I’m riding by ya on the corner, striker slayin,
Living that Kos’ life


That shall give more instruments to wenger’s orchestra.

Zippy and Bungle

Could it be a chant that doesn’t use the Sloop John B melody….. lots of things rhyme with Lauren and Kozza.. I’m just shite at this sort of thing though


in tune of i wan’t you baby….

oh Kosci-elny….
you’re the love of my life
oh Koscielny…
coz you wanted a song
Oh koscielny
so we made this just for you….

Saffa Gooner

Volare (Dean Martin)
“Koscielny! Whooooaaaaoooh! Koscielny! Whooooaaaaoooh! It’s 2-0 to Arsenal FC! Merci the pockets of Koscielny!”


How about simply “Lolo” to the tune of the Kinks’ Lola?


“He won’t let you pass
He won’t let you paaaasss
Laurent Koscielny
He won’t let you pass”..
…. This could serve as verse 2 of “he wants his own song”

late to the party

To que Sara…

Oh Laurent, Laurent,
He wanted a song you see,
Laurent Kos-ciel-neeeeee
Oh Laurent, Laurent


To the tune of ‘all we need is Love’ by the Beatles,

All we need is Kos
All we need is Kos
All we need is Kos, Kos
Kos is all we need

The ‘dadadadada’s would sound great!!


“Paid the Kos to be the boss…”

I just love James Brown, so please excuse the week effort.


All we need is Kos dadadadada…..
That shits catchy! Defo this one and ‘He wants his own song!



When you need an instrument investah

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