Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Arsenal 3-0 Stoke – player ratings

It couldn’t have been more different from what happened in Mordor back in December. Arsenal won comfortably, were in control throughout, and really should have scored more than three.

Here’s how the players rated.

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happy gunner

My phone wouldn’t let me give you Alexis a 10 because half the star was off the screen (come on blogs get your ass into gear or google nexus developers whoever)

So I chucked my phone outside in disgust and left the room.


Such a display from Alexis on a consistent basis is a scintillating sight to bear. What was also great to see today is he hardly lost the ball. I’d like to see the stats coz I can’t think of a single dribble of his that wasn’t successful.


Could you imagine being told “your job today is to mark Alexis Sanchez follow him everywhere, make sure you don’t lose him” you’d be totally knackered. Seriously the man is a machine.


Response: “I will require a helicopter, a lasso and 2 border collies…”


Alexis bullied the Stoke backline. I will even go as far as stating Arsenal bullied Stoke all over the pitch!

It really was a great display from all the players. The physicality of Koscielny and Giroud make a big difference in our team. Plus Le Coq has added a little extra spunk!


Or you could turn your phone sideways and then it works fine.


read this response as it followed the one about a Helicopter, a lasoo and two border collies was hilarious because of it’s mundanity and immediate surrealism.

Then I realised it was a response to the guy who threw his phone and it wasn’t so funny. His was.

Throwing ‘phone > things.


Best player we have had since Henry. If he can put 3 or 4 seasons in like he has so far, maybe he can even rival Thierry

Gutbukket Deffrolla

If Henry joins our coaching staff then maybe he might just. Learning from the master might just do the trick.


Hell fucking yeah!

Mongolian Gooner

Agreeing pretty much with all those ratings.

Ultimate Gooner

6.5 for Ozil for that delicious flick late in the game.

jack jack jack

I gave him a cheeky 10/10. Just so happy to see those doleful eyes back in the red and white.


Cazorla was immense, Rosicky immense and Sanchez awesome! I feel it’s just going to get better.COYG!



Three Arsenal players in the BBC’s team of the week – Alexis, Kos and Jenks.

Gutbukket Deffrolla

Great to see Jenkinson doing well with the Hammers (except I don’t like seeing the Hammers doing well, and I’m sure it’s all down to the stability Jenkinson has brought them). Won’t it be a fun headache for Wenger when he comes back?


That is one confident Coq.


One might even say that that is one tumescent cock…


He deserves a start next week. Sky pundits reckon he’s not in top league but he’s playing brilliant


Deserves a max 10 alongside Sanchez.

Scott P

Wow even for Sanchez, a 10/10 rating from Arseblog is rare! He really was incredible.

Gooner Smurf

All teams above and below must fear us now.


really mate, why would they fear us? small teams have and can beat us, big teams always do, hit us on the counter, lets no be dellusional, were ok, nothing special, when was the last time we smashed a team 6- 0 or so, when we smash teams, i.e. its not close then maybe they will be scared.


In fairness to Johnny, lovely performance today, great win, but it’s by getting results against the likes of City next week that we’ll show that we are really progressing. All well and good putting mid table teams to the sword at the Emirates, but if we are truly going to put ourselves into contention for top honours, its games like next week that will be the making of us.


good run out from the lads, still not satisfied with last week though as we should be beating teams like this. very impressed with arteta though. hes a good lad, you can imagine him pushing the troops on in the dressing room even if he cant play atm. giving a haircut loool.

quite sick of city and the scum down the lane though to be honest, can we abreviate on here btw?? ahh well gah oh the performance was good i guess. remember when evra called him welblack ,check youtube if you dont beleve me. #black

i prefer ospina btw.




There was a point at the end of the 1st half where Crouch made a pointless break on his own and Mertesacker was on the chase which had me in stitches because it was the slowest counter/chase i had ever seen in my life.



bims lay


Fireman Sam

Yep when Crouch was through on goal, I still wasn’t worried for a second. There was just some forcefield of shitness around Stoke today. That fat Arnautocunt was their only decent player – he was very good at holding on to the ball – but otherwise they were shiter than shite.


It was funny, like watching two stick insects chasing a ball. Crouches shot was comical. 3 nil and your not going home, class from our supporters. I think our stadium announcer waited till they scored an offside goal to let them know that the train to mordor was broken….you couldnt write this stuff. Anyway the best i think we played all season and i feel we are going to get better and better, Sanchez is the man, what a bargain we got. Read the love in sky sports are having for him and his stats are unbelievable, good day all… Read more »

Mongolian Gooner

One does not simply ride a train into MordOhr


Hope to see more of Rosicky and Alexis in the same lineup (as well as the Ox), the closing down from the front with them in the team is absolutely tireless! great performance and the first 10/10 I’ve ever seen from ArseBlog! Get in boys!


I agree. Not quite sure we’ll see that same workrate and drive from Theo and Ozil when they come back into the team, albeit they will bring other qualities. The Ox has improved this year with the help of Alexis I feel. His work rate has been excellent and I hope he isn’t dropped when the others come back to full fitness. Let them get in on merit if they do.


I keep watching that clip of debuchy getting smashed . At first I didn’t think it was that bad but now
I’m thinking that’s total bastardry.
They really are a bunch of bastards that team , managed by a bastard.
So glad we stuffed them today.

Gutbukket Deffrolla

I wish le Coq had scored. We might have seen the headline “Coq Stuffs Cunts”.

Maybe next time.


Koscielny & Monreal beating crouch in the air and them about 7-9 inches smaller, crouch really is a useless prick

Edu's Braces

Id mark Giroud down for his stupid anger, it never inspires him, he just gets distracted. Chill Olivier, just because we all fancy you doesn’t mean you’ve got to prove how tough you are, x


Bonus 10/10 to the cameraman that kept providing us with gratuitous shots of those gorgeous bastards in the stands, Monsieurs Henry and Pires

Gooner from Pretoria(Cap city)

Giroud might have not scored but 10/10 for that face shove on Shawgross in during the first half


It should have been a yellow card atleast.

Big Chief from Antarctica

A yellow plaque, you mean. Right outside Islington town hall.


no, it should have been a red…….for shawcross, for getting that ugly face in the way of Girouds manacured hands, then he should have been arrested and charged with savage appearance. Shawcross is a complete waster and should not even be allowed inside the Emirates.


Shawcross shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near decent company.


Shawcross shouldn’t be.

Victor Kimuyu

Alexis a perfect 10. Couldnt agree more. Trouble is he could actually burst the rating system if he keeps on keeping on. A welcome situation by al means.


Alexis certainly “goes to 11.”

Andre's Sandals

And that calls for an overhaul to the rating system. Probably make it a 15-star.


Sanchez was great and deserves his max, and so does Coquelin who stood brave and strong against those animals from stoke. How anyone can mark him so low is beyond me.

obvious stater

I think Rosicky and Cazorla deserve higher than an 8, easily a 9.5.

Monreal deserves more than an 8 too.

Best performance of the season, in fact best performance for absolutely ages.

Bob gk

Great performance and great result. Fingers crossed for debuchy, these fuckin Stoke thugs really piss me off. Wanna end with something funny so man u are losing to Southampton after conceding from the first shot on target in the match. Gyagyagya


Turned out to be the only shot on target in the match. Fucking United really are lucky to be in the position they’re in. We outshot them 27-3 at the Emirates and lost. Southampton outshot them 21-3 on the coast and lost. For all the hundreds of millions of pounds those rat bastards have spent on strikers and attacking midfielders, they sure don’t seem to generate very much.


I love the Coq…..no seriously. Only made a stray pass towards the end. But hes tough, quick, wants the ball and he is better in opinion than Flamini for the team. Seriously how many times does arteta and flamini pass it back to mert. Coq gives us penentration from deep. Seriously no puns intended. Also thought bellerin looks alot more confident and played well. Id keep him in and leave chambers for cb or dm if thats where Arsene sees him. Lovely to see theo and mesut on the pitch again. Get well soon Debuchy. Obviously well done to the… Read more »


I fucking love Alexis

Gooner from Pretoria(Cap city)

I know that most of the Gooner Faithful,prefer Woijcech but fuck my heart rate is more important…if anything he can learn from the competition and as a result become less coqy..

Tom thumb

Best moment today was alexis scoring that incredible goal and Henry and pires applauding in the crowd,made my day


IMO we keep Coq, with Arteta, diaby and flam old, knackered or not good enough, there will soon be holes in the squad to thrust Coq into

Thierry Bergkamp

Both of Debuchy’s injuries this season, he’s put his body unnecessarily in danger, when he could have let the ball go out for a throw in/goal kick.

Good win and it’s gonna be a battle for 3rd with the saints


He wouldn’t have been anywhere near danger had Arnautovic not pushed him unnecessarily.

Gutbukket Deffrolla

Shadowing a ball over your own goal line to make sure some cunt doesn’t get to it and get a cross in is not putting yourself in danger. It’s called defending.

There is nothing dangerous about the goal line.

There is something dangerous about illegally propelling somebody toward the hoardings.


This is what happens when the squad is fit.


bellerin, per, kos, monreal, coq, rosicky, santi, alexis, chambo, giroud….you could argue only giroud/kos were sidelined for most of it…most of the other players were either frozen out/played out of position


No you couldn’t. Ospina, Koscielny, Debuchy, Rosicky, Walcott, Giroud, and Ozil have all missed most of the season injured. Mertesacker, Monreal, Cazorla, and Oxlade-Chamberlain have also missed time due to injury. Get your facts straight.

Gutbukket Deffrolla

Are you trolling your own fans…. or somebody else’s?


Normally I would never consider giving a player a 10 rating as there are always mistakes in a game. But from today’s game I really can’t think of a reason to not give Alexis a 10. The guy is simply a joy to watch. He’s the kind of player whose positives are so strong, only a total twat would even mention his negatives – like when he shows the ref an imaginary yellow card (…oops). Every tackle Alexis goes into gives me a bit of a heart-attack though. I’ll probably go into deep depression if he’s ever injured this season.… Read more »


Todays movie—> Stoke and the Alexis 2: They’re cunt’s and he’s awesome


The Coq is growing in confidence


I thought the key to the success was the constant pressing when we did not have the ball . Was not impressed with the kick outs by ospina .

Gutbukket Deffrolla

I’m not a fan of kicks by the keeper from open play at all unless he’s remarkably accurate with them every time (well, most of the time). I’ve always felt that whacking the ball up the pitch is a lot more likely to lose you the ball than measured passing from the back. It feels like deliberately giving up the advantage of our superior ball skills. I guess the big draw is that you might get lucky with the bounce and set up a surprise break, but our keepers have never yet hit Giroud’s chest with a kick so it… Read more »


COQ CONTINUES TO BE AWESOME. Seriously, if you looked at Schniederlin (spelled?) in the MU/SH today, he didn’t even do very well. Might be because he’s tired but Coq being younger, I think it’s unnecessary to buy a new defensive midfielder if he can keep this up. It’s Mertesacker I’m worried about. If we signed Hummels, I feel like our squad would be perfect.

Wyn Pierce

Not being funny lad but Schneiderlin was simply awesome for the Saints yesterday

Gutbukket Deffrolla

…and today he’s getting excited about the possibility of reaching Europe with them. What a waste.


Orgasmic-Hispanic displays from Santi and Alexis. Pace and skill from the Ox and Hector. Thomas as fast and fluid as in his youth. Solid Coq and Kos. And what do they all have in common? They penetrate, they work, they give. Let’s start a new viral hashtag that will be our mantra/catchword for ever more – #playlikeAlexis.


Giroud had a good showing, but can we give him a 2/10 for jumping at the cross bar and busting his ass.

An Ox-sized Coq

I think next season we’ll have a selection dilemma at RB. We spent a decent amount of money Debuchy, Bellerin is proving he’s capable of starting, and Jenkinson has been one of the better full backs at West Ham this season.

As a bonus who else heard that “3 nil to the Arsenal and you’re not going home” chant today.


Next season Bellerin to go on a season loan, with Jenks returning to battle it out with Debuchy. Then season after Bells returns, Debuch will be 32-33 meaning he’ll be on decline, with Jenks and Bells to battle it out.

Black Hei

Jenks does not suit out style unfortunately. He is not good enough on the ball. Will suit a direct style more.


Wayne Rooney: We deserved to win
United shots on target: 0

what a great weekend of football. I forgot just how class Ozil is on the ball, such a measured way to how he moves the ball around, like every little touch one way or the other is probing the opposition. But even he must have gasped in adulation at that fucking gorgeous through ball by santi to set him up for the chance. he was probably thinking what a thing of beauty it was and forgot to focus on the chance.

Henry! Chance!! Goal!!!

I’m a huge Ozil guy. But seeing the understanding between Cazorla and Alexis I’m not sure if Ozil should come back into the starting 11 right away. But the prospect of Alexis and Ozil developing a chemistry is enticing. It’s good to have the choices

Thierry Bergkamp

Santi deserves a starting spot at all times, regardless of who is available and so long as he’s fit

Gutbukket Deffrolla

He might deserve it, on recent form, but to give it to him would be counter-productive for the team and him in the long run.

Rebel without cause

Bellerin imo could turn out to be a beast at right back. He’s quick to the ball, get stuck in and can launch a counter attack in the blink of an eye.


Anyone see Sir Alex up in the stands at Old Trafford this evening?
Truly a beautiful sight.


‘Twas a face to curdle milk, or scare babies!


A positive win. Personally I was hoping we trash them by 6 goals but I would take 3 and a clean sheet (and we could have gotten more) NO doubt we will only hear a whimper from the press because its not in their narrative of Stoke like to bully Arsenal. We did the bullying today playing football. Some positives continue to build. 1) Ospina. No one can fault Wenger for not fixing our once brittle Keeper depth situation. Ospina is a fine keeper to have as competition for Szsc. If Szsc needs it to remind him his position is… Read more »


Agree with practically everything.

A small point, Bellerin is only 2 months younger than Chambers. They are both young and inexperienced. Bellerin I’m preferring on current form at right back due to his control, his pace and his attacking potential. Chambers I see more as a CB in time.


Well said, mate


Sorry, got a thumbs down claiming Jenkinson’s crosses aren’t good. They are his strongest point.
Just watch them for West Ham, and already has a few assists for them too.

George the Gooner

Alexis is the greatest player since Henry and Bergkamp. On another level. Oooooooooooooooospina!!


Some great chants today! Director cut to Sczcesney’s face while Ospina’s chant was going round too which was awkward for the poor lad.

Love Tomas Rosicky’s game today, and was good to see Alex Ox listening intently to his words as they both walked off at half-time. He must be a great influence on the young players!


Hope Rosicky and Bellerin will start next game. The player like Tomas we especially need at the game like this or we can be outrun in midfield. I remember Benayoun, he didn’t play much but he always played against top teams. Wenger shouldn’t start Ramsey just because of his name. At that time Rosicky is better player and we desperately need a player like him in our game. Only Wilshere and Ox have that kind of ability here but sometimes their actions are too rashed. Rosicky knows when he can go forward. The second I want to start is Bellerin.… Read more »


I was talking a lineup against City and not in general.


Think nobody really cares once you said “Cazorla didn’t impressed me”. Perhaps you should try a different sport.


Don’t see how Giroud is rating as high as most other players in this match (here and other ratings I’ve seen on other sites), lots of poorly played balls, not working to get into good positions in the box and other than his one shot that was saved really didn’t do much. The one thing he did that was really good was mix it up with Shawcross, but he has to be very careful with his temper against clowns like Shawcross to not get red carded again. Great to see Rosicky again, love watching him play, just wish there were… Read more »

Fireman Sam

Yep and it was nice to see Ozil lifted by the fans warm reception. Would’ve been awesome if he’d netted from that chance he had!


I’m glad you finally gave Alexis a 10. Well done, Mr. Blogs!

I first remember Coquelin in the Black Sunday game (the 8-2 drubbing). He was one of the few bright spots in that game, and I’m glad he’s finally getting his chance.

A 10/10 for Szczesny’s petulant expression.

Oh, and for Arnautovic a job offer from Tony Soprano as a hit man.

Ajinkya.. indian gunner

sweet, sweet, sweet revenge.. how peaceful the sleep will be tonight.. missed the second half, but went out of the house with a smile on my face at half time.. can’t wait for the replay to air..
p.s: absolutely crushed for debuchy.. i hope we can atleast get jenks back if we don’t find some decent defender

Gutbukket Deffrolla

Guess what? We found Bellerin.


Over the last couple of games Cazorla’s defence has been great- he won a lot of balls today. Coq was great. Bellerin was great. Sanchez is a football god.


I know Ox is not finishing particularly well, but I definitely prefer his direct style of play to Wilshire and Walcott (although I recognize that may not be a perfectly fair comparison. I think Ox has the same drive as Sanchez, which is often more important than other positive qualities. [I always start desire over skill on the teams I coach, meaning here I would start Ox over anyone who didn’t give 100% (Ozil is seemingly guilty of this from time to time though not today)].


Shout out to Monreal today. Extremely strong performance, especially in the air. Could see him securing the LB spot assuming he doesn’t have to cover at CB

John C

Good result, and another great game from Alexis. But we didn’t learn anything we didn’t already know. We’ve comfortably beaten a bottom half team at home, which you’d expect when everything goes our way. Our parenial problem is winning when we’re not allowed to play and next weeks game will see if we’ve progressed in that sense. Having watched the Utd v Southampton game, you wonder what Sneiderlin and Wanyama would do to our team behind the likes of Sanchez, Ozil, Cazorla, Walcott etc. I can’t remember the last time we went to big club and won a game in… Read more »

Gutbukket Deffrolla

We’re not usually allowed to play by Stoke.


Really?! That was the 8th consecutive victory over Stoke at home in an unbeaten run that goes back to 1981!! Recent history shows we always beat Stoke at home

Springbank 1965

1. Coquelin is still an unknown quantity for us. What matters now is what he does next. Will he be consistent? Can he hold his own against the likes of Man City? Will his discipline improve? The thing is perhaps all his development needed was motivation. And if he doesn’t have it after being yanked back from Charlton then he’ll never have it. 2. Bellerin. I haven’t stopped liking the lad since pre-season. He’s a lot to learn. But he’s not only very, very quick, but he’s both skilful and a good crosser. 3. Rosicky. Liverpool (or whoever) may well… Read more »


Trilobites were smart enough to have survived for over 200 million years. I do suspect that a lot of sports commentators aren’t as intelligent as a trilobite.

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