Tuesday, December 3, 2024

Wenger: Ramsey is not Steve Austin

Arsene Wenger says that Arsenal are trying to find the root cause of Aaron Ramsey’s hamstring problems, but because the Welshman is made entirely from flesh and blood, and not simple parts that can be replaced or made with a 3D printer, no easy solution has been found yet.

The Welshman limped off against Leicester on Tuesday night, less than 10 minutes after coming on to replace Theo Walcott, with his third hamstring strain of the season, and although it’s not as serious as first reported, it’s still a blow to lose last season’s top midfield performer.

Speaking at his pre-game press conference this morning, the Arsenal boss said, “We haven’t found the underlying reason. There is clearly a reason, whether it is medical or bio-mechanical.

“You might remember when astronaut Steve Austin was injured in that training flight crash, he was rebuilt in an operation that cost exactly $6,000,000.

“When Ramsey had his leg snapped by Shawcross, we had to let nature take its course. It’s not as if we could use bionic implants which would be easily isolated and replaced if they went wrong.

“As well as that Premier League rules do not permit any enhancements that can enhance strength, speed and vision far above human norms.”

Wenger backed Ramsey’s preparation and professionalism, saying, “He is a guy who is serious. He works hard and has a controlled and disciplined life so there is no reason why he should have muscular problems.

“We have individualised training for the players and injury prevention for the players and that is not a case that has been neglected.

“It is just we have to find the reason why that happens. This is just a small injury, a grade one hamstring tear. We are looking at a couple of weeks.”

Arseblog News wonders if the club have checked on the whereabouts of Maskatron, Steve Austin’s action figure’s arch-nemesis.

His presence would explain a lot.

A LOT.

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Aaron Ozil

Hope he comes back soon and regains his jesusy form

CB

Two weeks, phew, if that’s true.

Just hope he gets a consistent run. IMO, he’s been a great player and will be again.

Karl

Oh nooo not the dreaded “two weeks” type strain!!

Mark Hughes

You’re thinking of the 3 weeks strain, 2 weeks hasn’t been a problem so far.

Don

Sometimes,I wish I was at these press conferences, even if it were to hear Wenger speak about bionic men.

What an endlessly fascinating man.

Özil Gummidge

You know you can watch it at the official website?

bestie

I half thought this was another Arseblog irony article when reading this.

othello

Yeah but it’s not hard to imagine Wenger actually saying that!

Red Cannon

It’s not?

Bob's Mexican Cousin

Gonna go watch it just in case it is

Gunner From Another Mother

Glad I wasn’t the only one…

John

Can never take Arsene’s word for it anymore (unless of course that’s what he is told and it’s often heavily underestimated which would be a completely separate, and quite frankly much worse issue) as so many players are diagnosed with ‘2-3 weeks’ and we don’t see them until two pre-season’s time.

Henry! Chance!! Goal!!!

I hate to chastise others for their opinion but sometimes you just have to. You do realize that Wenger is not a doctor, right? And neither does he claim to be. He doesn’t go around with a white lab coat and a stethoscope in the treatment room as inspecting injured players and saying “hmmmm, Aaron does it hurt when I do this? How about when I do this? Hmmmm, I think 2-3 weeks”. There are doctors who work for the club who come up with their “professional” assessment of each injury. That’s why they spent all those years in medical… Read more »

Dick Swiveller

All that kinda backs his point up though, Wenger has no in depth medical knowledge, so cannot really give accurate timescales, insted he gives stock answers, to which you shouldn’t attach too much importance.

Scott P

I’m pretty sure it’s not Wenger who comes up with the time scales – he gets those numbers from his medical staff, not out of thin air.

Dick Swiveller

Well, obviously they tell him and then he decides what to tell the media, I’m guessing the timescales are generally the same but I reckon they can’t and probably don’t try to talk him through everything that might happen and the various complications, hence the nebulous periods give for time out.

That’s why I reckon you shouldn’t get hung up on how long he says they’ll be out for, I’m sure if it’s a broken leg they know it will be longer than 2-3 weeks but there’s always more to anything involving our injury issues.

John

That was why I said it’s a separate and much worse issue if that’s the information he is being given, because quite obviously the extent of Arsenal’s injuries are underestimated far too often. The other side of the coin is he feels he needs to appease fans by telling them it’s not as long as in reality it probably. That’s what I mean when I say I struggle to take his word for it.

Henry! Chance!! Goal!!!

Do you even watch the pressers? The press ask him questions about player injuries and he answers them based on the information provided to him by the medical staff. This is not very difficult to comprehend

Henry! Chance!! Goal!!!

Do you even watch the pressers? The press ask him questions about player injuries and he answers them based on the information provided to him by the medical staff. This is not very difficult too comprehend

Amusa

I love it when Wenger comes up with random shit like this.

Dale Cooper

I love that fact I can’t tell if Arseblog made up some of those quotes or if Arsene actually said them. What a great man.

Nognir

[multiple] occurrences [of this] are missing [and] that makes me suspicious of these quotes

Gandalf

When Ramsey returns:

http://youtu.be/2TwLOOFvzS4

Das Gooner

My generations Steve Austin was Stone Cold Steve Austin, I wasn’t sure how that was going to work. This way makes a lot more sense.

Big Dave

3 hamstring strain, shirt number 16… 3:16!!

Basically means he’ll lay a stunner on Shawcross when he comes back.

Dick Swiveller

Yeah, retiring early due to overwhelming injuries is not what we’re shooting for.

Gus Caesar

Good job it wasn’t Dean Austin.

Danger Mouse

I really hope Wenger said this but I’m assuming half these quotes are made up by Arseblog right? Right ? Its so fucking hard to tell anymore….

Dick Swiveller

I can’t imagine Wenger saying ‘leg snapped by Shawcross’, it just sounds like an invitation for some neanderthal to turn up and complain. Possibly named Ryan.

Comedian

Thats some glass breaking news.

RoyaleWithCheese

Hell yeah!

Le Jim

Must be a test for the cut-and-paste journalists, as I’ve heard them called.

The Austin-related quotes just don’t fit Arsene’s usual vernacular/diction.

Arseblood

Harry Kane is Maskatron! But good will prevail, and Steve Austin….I mean Aaron Ramsey, shall rise and crush him.

Arsene's Coy Smile

The made up part is from the fourth paragraph “You might remember… ” up to “… far above human norms”. The rest is word-for-word from the press conference. It’s worth watching them on Arsenal.com if you can, as the reports on this blog sometimes don’t cover everything.

Juan Cornetto

I’m jiggered that there is even a debate about whether Arsene said the stuff about Steve Austin – you guys do read Arseblog right? And have heard our manager speak before?

last man standing

Ramsey is not Steve Austin. He’s the Welsh Jesus reincarnate. He’ll be back and he’ll go on to be a legend. Just ask TR7

Scott P

Welsh Jesus reincarnate? There was another Welsh Jesus? o_O

RoyKeane's Beard

Must’ve meant he’s a Jesus reincarnate that is Welsh…maybe?

Jimbo

I was thinking the article would be about stone cold Steve Austin

AK 57

I know it’s couple of weeks but his career is in danger of getting wrecked by these regular injuries. It’s imperative that they get to the bottom of it.

King Henry the xiv

I wonder what constitutes Diaby’s personalised training routine; a more comfortable way to lie on the injury table perhaps

Hank Scorpio

Or at least a way to lie on it that doesn’t result in injury.

Bendtner's Ego

Bonus points for the Maskatron reference, Blogs.

You have truly displayed your inner nerd.

FourMinuteSmiler

For once, Aaron is not The Fall Guy.

santori

I dunno…6m dollars these days chum change as the say.

If it fixes Ramsey’s problem, why not?

Special X ray eye may come in handy (or may not). Bells and whistles.

Improved speed will be a huge plus.

Maybe its what Ramsey needs.

Rumour has it that’s why Diaby hasn’t been seen yet.

Bigger, stronger, faster.

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