Things Michael Owen thinks are better than Mesut Ozil

118

You might remember that a couple of weeks ago Michael Owen – former football and now full time dipshit for BT Sport – said that he thought Raheem Sterling was a better player than Mesut Ozil.

And hey, we’ve all said some stupid things in our time, but when we do most of us like to just let it lie. We certainly don’t double-down and repeat those ridiculous things, but Owen did just that, stating yet again just yesterday that Sterling was a better footballer than the German.

Shockingly though, it’s not just Sterling he thinks is better than Ozil. An insider found a sheet of paper in the bin at the BT studios and sent it to us. It’s a list of things that Michael Owen thinks are better than Mesut Ozil, he had it at the ready to back up his ludicrous guff, and it’s reproduced for you here.

Click to embiggen

michael_owen

guest
118 Comments
oldest
newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Wrighty's Gold Tooth
Wrighty's Gold Tooth
4 years ago

Definitely not music or films though

Highberry
Highberry
4 years ago

How about an article entitled things I think are better than Michael Owen ? 1)everything even irritating objects stuck inside my left nostril
Except John Terry and Samir Na$ri. They’re lower than a snake’s belly and dirtier than a penguin’s chuff.

bonbonbon
bonbonbon
4 years ago
Reply to  Highberry

Pure poetry

Mesut Aussie
Mesut Aussie
4 years ago
Reply to  Highberry

How the hell did they get up your left nostril you poor soul? Both of them?

Double98
Double98
4 years ago

“I think Ozil is a very good player but it’s ironic, we were talking about a crisis at Arsenal only a few months ago and they were struggling around fourth or fifth saying ‘are they going to get into the top 4?’ knocked out the Champions League, hanging on in the FA Cup. “All of a sudden it looks like they are going to win the FA Cup now, looks like they are going to come second in the league and it will be a decent season for Arsenal, a very good season for Arsenal. It’s amazing how the game… Read more »

Dodgerz
Dodgerz
4 years ago

Bloggs you are a mad man. Andrea Dossena? Where did that come from? You genius.

Vish024
Vish024
4 years ago
Reply to  Dodgerz

Not to dampen the joke or anything but Andrea is in fact a unisex name, it’s common for both boys and girls in Italy e.g. Andrea Pirlo.

sambo
sambo
4 years ago
Reply to  Vish024

Now why would you go and do a thing like that Vish…

arsenalista
arsenalista
4 years ago
Reply to  arseblog

Like a wet vish

Highberry
Highberry
4 years ago
Reply to  arsenalista

Michael Owen……only slightly better than a slap in the face with a wet Vish

Double98
Double98
4 years ago
Reply to  arseblog

you cast your pearls at swine bloggs…

barnarnars was my favourite

Gunner From Another Mother
Gunner From Another Mother
4 years ago
Reply to  arseblog

Shrek, Shrek 2…That one induced uncontrollable laughter. This whole thing was fantastic

Gunner From Another Mother
Gunner From Another Mother
4 years ago

WHY DIDN”T MICHAEL WATCH SHREK 3?!?!? WAS HE NOT SATISFIED WITH SHREK 2???

Woolwich Peripatetic
Woolwich Peripatetic
4 years ago

I’m literally crying with laughter at “Shrek, Shrek 2 and Requiem for a Dream”.

Arsene's Zip
Arsene's Zip
4 years ago

My favourite film of all time is Avatar 2.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GErfRoqr3Zo

Don Cazorleone
Don Cazorleone
4 years ago
Reply to  Vish024

Not to dampen the joke or anything, but let me just dampen the joke.

Az Ahmed
Az Ahmed
4 years ago
Reply to  Don Cazorleone

Hahahahahahaha bricks

Phil
Phil
4 years ago
Reply to  Vish024

You could probably add Andrea Pirlo to the list of players Owen thinks Sterling is better than.

Richie Growling
Richie Growling
4 years ago
Reply to  Phil

Richie Growling

WengersNoseHair
WengersNoseHair
4 years ago
Reply to  Vish024

Shirley the joke is that Owen doesn’t know that?

deji
deji
4 years ago
Reply to  Vish024

ooooh vishy boy!!!….shoro niyen?

bounderboy
bounderboy
4 years ago

Hehe genius as always – some reference’s I don’t get – eg. Hands Free Car Kits? Or is just blogs on a trip? 🙂

James
James
4 years ago

“No aunts” at the picnic or “no cunts”?

Dropkick Dejv
Dropkick Dejv
4 years ago
Reply to  arseblog

Well as long as Michael Owen stays away there won’t be any cunts either.

True Red
True Red
4 years ago
Reply to  arseblog

Top “curb your enthusiasm” quote. Three or even four thumbs up

Zelalem
Zelalem
4 years ago
Reply to  True Red

Fivehundred thumps up for this guy for reminding me to watch this great sitcom again

TommyGun
TommyGun
4 years ago
Reply to  True Red

http://youtu.be/3Q5ZFYFatvI

Why does he feel the need to compare them in any case? Only a clueless twat would start this debate about players that are totally different. It’s like comparing Mesut with Djimi Traore. This started by discussing who’s place he would take in our team…yeah pop sterling at no.10? Absolute cunt

Dylan
Dylan
4 years ago
Reply to  James

I’m sure he wouldn’t enjoy said picnics if he wasn’t allowed in.

Zizou
Zizou
4 years ago

I am also a fan of hores.

AN other
AN other
4 years ago

I thought he would have all of his liverpool players in it for example
Sakho
Toure
Lovren
Moreno
Milavic
Balotteli
Or any player signed by Rodgers

Exiledgooner
Exiledgooner
4 years ago
Reply to  AN other

Given how he pushed hard for a move away from Liverpool and then later joined their arch rivals, I can’t help but wonder why he persists with his Scouse bias. I’m pretty confident that most of them don’t reciprocate.

Chuck
Chuck
4 years ago
Reply to  Exiledgooner

Having a scouse bias is very beneficial for a career in British sports media

bims lay
bims lay
4 years ago
Reply to  Exiledgooner

thats because he is a twat….just like the picture says!

clockend_mum
clockend_mum
4 years ago

Ozil. Owen. One of them’s been nicking a living since 2013, and I think we all know which one.

Thierry Bergkamp
Thierry Bergkamp
4 years ago
Reply to  clockend_mum

You’re forgetting his Newcastle days

Paul
Paul
4 years ago

He scored a good goal for England and the rest was shitstory!

David C
David C
4 years ago
Reply to  clockend_mum

best comment! Also Owen’s voice is not an accent anyone should have to listen to.

Man Like Ozil
Man Like Ozil
4 years ago

Blogs, making good use of the Office Lens app?

DrabWilly
DrabWilly
4 years ago

‘Click to embiggen’? Embiggen? It’s a perfectly cromulent word to use I guess.

Exiledgooner
Exiledgooner
4 years ago
Reply to  DrabWilly

Questioning the cromulence of the word ’embiggen’? You, sir, are banned, along with your children and your children’s children.

Exiledgooner
Exiledgooner
4 years ago
Reply to  DrabWilly

For three months.

Exiledgooner
Exiledgooner
4 years ago
Reply to  Exiledgooner

That would have worked better if my previous comment had actually posted. Bloody internets…

Dylan
Dylan
4 years ago
Reply to  Exiledgooner

I think i like this version better

Nepaligooner
Nepaligooner
4 years ago

Owen goes a bit weak on the knees always.pls forgive him !

herman
herman
4 years ago

Fucking genius mate… love it.. and i begining to despise this Owen guy each time he open his foul yap. . .

keep it goonerish mate. .

Governing Dynamics
Governing Dynamics
4 years ago

I was wondering if he would have the opinion if we sign Sterling in the next transfer window. .

Brian Mendoza
Brian Mendoza
4 years ago

I heard that he thinks Phil Collins and Linford Christie are better than Ozil

Alex
Alex
4 years ago

It’s even the third time he said it as after the Liverpool game he tweeted he was repeating his thought (if im not mistaken). LOL

Clock-End Mike
Clock-End Mike
4 years ago

“Reqiuem for a Dream”? Perfect!

He’s probably watched it 100 times…

NCGooner
NCGooner
4 years ago
Reply to  Clock-End Mike

Is it a good thing that I don’t know about this “Requiem for a Dream” thing? Too bored (scared) to look up for it on the internets…. 🙂

Chuck
Chuck
4 years ago
Reply to  NCGooner

Its a movie about drug addiction pretty intense

DB10**
DB10**
4 years ago
Reply to  NCGooner

Dark..dont go there

Heroldgoon
Heroldgoon
4 years ago

Michael Owen has a fantasy of him and Raheem Sterling doing Shisha under a tree every night. He’s hoping this is the only way to get Sterling to agree to it. Peculiar i know, but Michael Owen doesn’t doesn’t care

richardanus
richardanus
4 years ago

It was Michael’s dream to play for Real Madrid. Where he plopped.

Walcott's left footed curl
Walcott's left footed curl
4 years ago

Having a picnic with your does suck though. Gotta give him that.

Deano
4 years ago

Thought he would have had the Real Madrid or Newcastle treatment room written down. He must have forgot them.

Fergie’s favourite plonk also

Deano
4 years ago
Reply to  Deano

Bench^

Radu
Radu
4 years ago

I think Michael Owen is Mesut Ozil in disguise. Just think about. Not only are both of their initials M.O., but it would make sense for Mesut to want to divert attention from himself, and keep on playing as well as he has been these months. What can I say? Keep it up.

Le Jim
Le Jim
4 years ago
Reply to  Radu

But Mesut’s not a twat.

Radu
Radu
4 years ago
Reply to  Le Jim

Of course not, he’s just playing a part. All for the good of the team 😀

Arsene's zip
Arsene's zip
4 years ago
Reply to  Radu

You make a good point.. I’ve never seen them in the same room.

Don Cazorleone
Don Cazorleone
4 years ago
Reply to  Arsene's zip

I would hope that if they were, Ozil would dropkick him. All the while screaming “YaMesutYa”.

Murrray
Murrray
4 years ago

Thought he’d say Toure is better than Gabriel

Moko-gooner
Moko-gooner
4 years ago

I think Owen only aims at Arsenal when he pretents to know football, is because we react. It is going to be headlines and gooners will fluid it with comments. He cannot really criticize Pool and MANU since he is been there. For Chelski and Shitti well, it is boring when you call someone stupid if he or she is really stupid, isnt it. So recently when some stupid magazine or website or wannabe commentator critisize Arsenal or players, I just think “oh one more attention whore”

arsesicky
arsesicky
4 years ago
Reply to  Moko-gooner

Exactly, one thing we arsenal fans are definitely guilty of is being easy to wind up. We’ve got one of the largest and most vocal online fan bases, and any article criticising our players is guaranteed to get hits, comments and advertising revenue. In the famous words of the internet, don’t feed the trolls.

GoonerN16
4 years ago
Reply to  Moko-gooner

He really is stupid… extremely… Moronic even…

Ghana Gunner
Ghana Gunner
4 years ago

Haha.. Owen talk like a hungry horse

PauloDiGunnio
PauloDiGunnio
4 years ago

The man peaked at 17, downhill since then

laughingboy16
laughingboy16
4 years ago

I think BT Sports need to bring in random drug testing.

Mickö
Mickö
4 years ago

Would love to smack Owen clean up face with a 3 week old mackerel dripping with maggots then hold him down while my dog continually urinated over his head then trail him behind my car for 30 mile across a road covered in broken glass reversing a few times over him just for good measure

Don Cazorleone
Don Cazorleone
4 years ago
Reply to  Mickö

I would most definitely bop him one on the hooter also

LaLaLa
LaLaLa
4 years ago

Who can forget this, the boy’s a natural.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD-LjX_K9Cg

TommyGun
TommyGun
4 years ago
Reply to  LaLaLa

Love that. “This is no ordinary chopper” – talking about the helicopter right?

Xxxrob
Xxxrob
4 years ago

I think Owen was one of those babies discarded at the start of 300..

Chan
Chan
4 years ago

What’s worse than being a c*nt?

– Being a noisy c*nt, which is probably the worst type of c*nt

Don Cazorleone
Don Cazorleone
4 years ago
Reply to  Chan

Ba dum tshh?

bims lay
bims lay
4 years ago
Reply to  Chan

being a twat!…..worse than being a cunt imo

Brendan
Brendan
4 years ago

2/10

The Only Olivier is Giroud
The Only Olivier is Giroud
4 years ago

Vintage Blogs.

AFCVT
AFCVT
4 years ago

yes

Jules
Jules
4 years ago

FAT PETER ANDRE YOU’RE JUST A FAT PETER ANDRE

ken
ken
4 years ago

It’s sad how owen’s brain is on the wane so quickly in his early 40s just like his footballing career after 18!

ckZA
ckZA
4 years ago

Ozil is the kind of player that does a lot of small things damn good. And as the months roll by and this squad solidify’s itself I can only see him providing more and more of the non flamboyant Vorsprung durch Technik football which is his style.

Had he been criticized by a true legend I’d bat an eye lid. Ohwine is definitely nothing of the sort.

Until then I only pay attention to us vs chelski and you guessed it, stocking more beer. And rum. That Caribbean rum. That makes you smell all manly the next day.

Paul Gilmartin
Paul Gilmartin
4 years ago

Michael who?

Paul
Paul
4 years ago
Reply to  Paul Gilmartin

Michael Cunt

Runkeball
Runkeball
4 years ago
Reply to  Paul

Michael Slowin

dennisthemenace
dennisthemenace
4 years ago

no one has ever been paid so much to do so little as michael owen, just ask newcastle. that being said, requiem for a dream probably is better than ozil.

Gunnerblog's Lorry Driver
Gunnerblog's Lorry Driver
4 years ago
Savage
Savage
4 years ago

No Charlie Adams?

Brian
Brian
4 years ago

I think Bronn summed it up best…”there’s no cure for being a cunt”

Cannons Blazing
Cannons Blazing
4 years ago

Who wouldn’t want the old man-eating bears of Blogs let loose on this Owen twat??
A blunt cutlass chop his lips for good measure..

Heroldgoon
Heroldgoon
4 years ago

Maybe Sterling is putting him up to this. i mean he got liverpool to raise his wages by a staggering £70k and still told them to fuck off when it was placed on the table.

Bill
Bill
4 years ago

I particularly like the use of the word “dipshit”…

Fatgooner
Fatgooner
4 years ago

This is a boring topic. Everybody knows that Michael Owen is a charmless, not-too-bright, biased Liverpool fan who probably thinks that Robbie Savage is smarter than Stephen Hawking. The whole Rahim Steerling situation can be summed up in one sentence: A greedy fool who’s going to ruin his career. I’m looking forward to the two Champions’ League ties tonight. Barca are through but will probably punish PSG with more brilliant football. But can Bayern come back from 3-1 down? I think they can: I’m going for a 2-0 win for the German side, which will see them just sneak through.… Read more »

Paul
Paul
4 years ago
Reply to  Fatgooner

You have to ruin it at the end Fats…!

Raiyan
Raiyan
4 years ago

I sincerely hope that calling Michael Owen a “former football” was intentional and not a typo. Because that made my day.

Yaya Binks
Yaya Binks
4 years ago

Isn’t it lovely to see Michaels mums handwriting is getting neater

Curtísimo
Curtísimo
4 years ago

Barnarnars!!!

batman's agent
batman's agent
4 years ago

Thank u Arseblog, u cheered me up a bit!! This ISIS terrorist groups beheaded my Ethiopian people( Zelalem’s country by birth, incase u want to relate) and I was really down this two days.

Jijo
Jijo
4 years ago

Give him 25000v electric shock and he will say a vibrator is better.

mach iii
mach iii
4 years ago

Michael Owen is a twat.

DialSquareGoon
DialSquareGoon
4 years ago