Monday, August 8, 2022

Boss urges authorities to stop taking the piss

Arsene Wenger insists that urine samples provided by players are nigh on useless when it comes to testing for performance enhancing drugs, and that the current system is hugely time-consuming for teams.

A dehydrated player can take hours to provide a sample post-game, whereas a blood sample, which is what the Arsenal manager wants them to take, can be done quickly and efficiently, as well as providing much more information for testers.

Speaking about this for the third time in the last 10 days, Wenger said, “When you play away in the Champions League, most of the time we lose two hours when there is doping control because people cannot fulfil the tests. With a little blood test it takes a minute and you can test much more.

“We sit sometimes on the airplane and wait for half an hour or an hour until the guys who have the tests can come back and fly back. You come back at 4am because the tests last too long.

“It is simple, why can we not do it? In every other sport they do it.”

Wenger has urged the game to address the issue properly for once, rather than hoping it will just go away.

“I want deeper tests, better tests because what we test is superficial. What we want as well is that when people are caught that they are punished and that the clubs are punished as well.

“We have to tackle this problem and not to close our eyes because it is a little bit not reasonable to think that just because we are football we have no problems with it.”

Will other managers back Wenger’s call? That will be interesting to monitor. Perhaps there’ll be something to be gleaned from the responses, or lack thereof.

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Cornelius P. Snuffington III

I’d absolutely love to one day hear Wenger use the phrase “taking the piss” in a press conference.

Parisian Weetabix

“… I sink zey are taking a little bit ze piss.”

Paul

Surely that’s German??

renaissancerosicky

Yep, I think this headline takes it for me. Excellent, and really something that needs to be said.

2015-2016 = the year we've been waiting for

I can just imagine Jose Mourinho’s twisted comments: “Arsene Wenger is a specialist in doping”

Toast with Butter and Jam

Don’t worry, for the foreseeable future Jose has ‘nothing to say’

PodB

I wouldn’t piss on Jose if he was on fire in the gutter on my side of the street. Karma is wonderful

Gutbukkit

I would… but only straight down his throat through his nostrils.

Cornelius P. Snuffington III

I would piss on him if he weren’t on fire though.

Pearson

BBCsportfootball – ” 20 November 2015 Last updated at 14:49 GMT
Jose Mourinho I retain Abramovich trust – Mourinho”
Long may it last, let’s hope he keeps faith for at least as long as it takes them to finish 5th in League Two

Coq's 3rd leg

I, for one would welcome this change.

the only sam is nelson

Love the fact that he’s related the benefits of his proposal not to catching drug cheats, but to getting the team back earlier and keeping them fresher for the weekend games – in other words, a benefit that *any* manger in a similar situation ought to be able to relate to, and therefore support.

So yes. It will be interesting to see who decides they prefer their team getting home knackered at 4am…

Gutbukkit

Absolutely. A concrete benefit for the FA and the Premier League to have their top teams fresh enough to play properly on the weekend.

Ivan Drago

Whenever Wenger leaves us I’d love to see him in charge of UEFA/FIFA, someone who really cares about the game and trying to improve it

Tony

Best headline of the year, hahaha

Rooks

Wenger for Fifa President.

Blixfix

What he says, makes a whole lot of sense. Doesn’t mean UEFA will change anything, though.

gammhunn

In fact, that it makes sense means that it is almost guaranteed that nothing will change.

The Only Olivier is Giroud

This headline though… bravo!

Arsetronomy

When he does retire, God forbid, his book is gonna be the best thing of all time. This is a man who witholds epic amounts of shit. Unlike others all over the league. You just wait!

_

Don’t think this is going to happen, Arsene doesn’t occur to me as someone doing anything that draws unnecessary attention.

Jagger

Agreed Underscore. He doesn’t seem that type of narcissistic self centered, attention grabbing autobiographer that we see nowadays in football.

Gutbukkit

“Cashley Cunt. Cashley Cunt. Cashley Cunt.”

Harsh

doesn’t have to be an autobiography though… a book about football will do just as well… hell, he could probably write a book on the philosophy of life…!

Fatboy Gooner

Oh the Lemmings! ? They’re out infull force again! ? What’s up with you people? Yesterday you were celebrating the contract extension of Sanchez, Yet, today you say nothing about the Toss who declares that there is no rush to extend the contracts of Sanchez and Ozil as they both still have 2 year’s left on their current ones! Yes, Yes, More money saved by delaying it until the last minute! And now wenger is distracting his own mistakes by talking about doping in football ? how ironic is that? when he is the biggest Dope in football ? Whatever… Read more »

St. Cathorla

Or maybe – just maybe – there is more going on behind the scenes than what we hear in a pre-match presser. And maybe – juuust maybe – the manager isn’t employing smoke and mirror techniques by answering a DIRECT QUESTION about doping in football. Maybe. Who knows.

But, the emojis really made this one *pop*…

Jagger

Let’s conveniently ignore the fact that the rumours about contract extensions were just some bullshit words picked out of someone’s arse. Let’s also ignore the fact that it takes two to sign a contract and Ozil and Sanchez will not want to sign a new one till they see whether this team is capable of winning the title, which we will see in May. But what do I know? I am only one of the lemmings jumping off the cliff of ignorance, willfully refusing to make sense of decisions made by experienced, proven and sane people. I am a sheep,… Read more »

Goone's Farm

Shit. Sorry Jagger I meant to upvote you. Also, don’t bother with this “person”. It’s been suggested that “it” is a Sp*rs troll in an another article.

D

Can’t be. He typed letters into actual coherent words. Couldn’t quite manage sentences, but still.

JJ's Bender

1. Emoticons
2. Idiocy
3. Really really bad jokes

Plz ban

Mpls

Yes, it’s kind of difficult to see how this could NOT be a troll with an avatar like that, and the consistently juvenile, off topic, and without fail trolling nature of the posts.

AnthonyG

Well, all I have to say that pile of steaming is: #**!#?>!*!***[email protected]!

So there.

Merlin's Panini

On the subject of piss and funny headlines. I’m particularly liking the one on the BBC website:
“Not the end,i> for Bell, says Broad”

That has to be deliberate.

Ex-Priest Tobin

I would not be surprised if many mourinho teams have won through doping. It is not as if the man has a moral compass at all, along with the trash who play for them.

Goonerrific

On a serious note, when he does finally leave us, would he consider running as Fifa president?

I’ve never heard such a well read, football educated man, who can put forth logical and sensible arguments with a high level of integrity.

Could he be the man to save football?

Toast with Butter and Jam

Hang on… so you’ve never heard Michael Owen’s commentary?

Why not

I think the downvoter lacks humour

Toast with Butter and Jam

I think the downvoter is Michael Owen

MC

The fact he is going on about it, you wonder if he knows something and knows a lot of teams/rivals will be shitting themselves about being found out??

Witoldo

Well, I think he thinks that Zagreb got away with a fuckton of doping in the first leg.

Dogem

Sometimes I wish Wenger picked up cockney like Hector, might get through to the ‘patriotic’ footy media if he came out with “faak the fakin wizz quiz! Pull there fakin hair aaht and test that!” through his car window Arry style. Maybe then it would actually be a debate, but meh

ChrisGoona

You have to just sit back and admire the guy’s courage and intelligence to come out and say something. Nobody else seems to have the balls to do so. I wonder why….

The top sport in the world yet drugs tests are sparingly conducted, and conducted in a “piss-pour” standard!

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