Sunday, January 23, 2022

Iniesta and Pique seek info on Bellerin’s DNA

Spanish daily Sport, one of the two Barcelona friendly newspapers, report that both Andres Iniesta and Gerard Pique sought out Hector Bellerin after last night’s game.

Under the presence of congratulating him on his performance against Barcelelona, the duo used the cover of a hipster beard and a tramp’s haircut to gain information about Bellerin’s long polymer made from repeating units called nucleotides which contains a substance he called nuclein, and a double helix structure.

They waited after the game, and Arseblog News has obtained an exclusive transcript.

Pique: All right, Hector. You look good tonight in the sun-shee-iiiiiinnnne.

Iniesta: Hello Hector.

Bellerin: Wotcha mates, wot the fack you up to, geezahs?

Pique: Hey Hector, check out this picture of Shakingkong on my mobile.

Bellerin: Nah mate, you’re all right, innit.

Iniesta: I like turtles

Pique: You played well tonight. What’s that over there?!

Bellerin: Where? What?

Iniesta: Abre la boca!

Bellerin: Oi, flangehead, get that swab out of my gob.

Pique: Get it?

Iniesta: Si! Si!

Pique: Vamos!

Bellerin: Fackin’ weirdos.

They both run off.

*Next day*

Sport Newspaper: Bellerin has Barca DNA says Xavi or Iniesta or Pique or one of them.

Bellerin: Woteva.

*phone rings*

Bellerin: Allo Allo Allo?

Cesc: Hello Hector!

Bellerin: Hello Cesc m8. Wot’s up?

Cesc: Just a word of warning, don’t listen to them about the DNA thing. It always ends badly.

Bellerin: Yeah, like for Mourinho when you decided he was a twat and that?

Cesc: What?

Bellerin: Nuffing!

*hangs up*


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Quality! Keep up the good work 🙂


Its so easy to forget that this kid is just 20, his level of maturity is up there. People might say Cesc was a much better talent at even 19, but the defensive awareness required to be a defender at a top club is crazy. Huge fan.

p.s are there any Arsenal fans in Alpharetta? this is getting ridiculous.

save 75 cents

If you mean alpharetta, Ga then yes I am right up the road from there.


Bro yes, Georgia. Send me a mail, let’s connect. [email protected]


Brewhouse Cafe near Decatur is a good place to meet fellow arsenal Fans in Atlanta. I been there for many games.

Rob starr

I’m in Asheville ; )


Hector speed and awareness is awesome. You do not need to be in a club for 10 years to master the trade just like Walcutt. The boy got talent. Wenger has to tire him up with a long term contract before this fucker (Barcelona) comes to pick him up and possibly tell us how Barcelona is his natural birth place shit.

bims lay

Spilled my coffee reading this…..the bellarin ‘accent’ left me in stiches. and caught me totally by surprise!

Jimbo Jones

Top notchio!

Heavy infantry

Bus wankers.


Can almost hear Bellerin saying the above.

Excellent stuff Mr Blogs.

Ned Flanders Bible

I bet that is exactly what happened Blogs.

“Shakingkong”, cracker



Petits Handbag

No man would say no to a picture of Shakira on someones phone….

Santiago Serrano

Iniesta got the worst look, the guy looks like 50 year old Spanish Butcher, i call that a bad DNA to have, you dont want that Hector!

Crash Fistfight

I like your ham.


if you love football , you love iniesta. sorry mate , but he is something else.


Buen trabajo friendo!


I’ll cry if he leaves, but the club would have no reason to be surprised or annoyed. I just hope everyone concerned spares us a bloody ‘saga’.


Pfft. Woteva.

‘Ats oll I gots fah ye.


Ector is going nowhere other than Colney then back to his hood, in London town. Over my dead body M8.


For Bellerin not to be swayed by the mighy pull of Barca is to win trophies money alone will not keep him and not forgetting Man city with pep coming could be another distraction he seems a level headed lad and hope he pays back wengers trust in him by being totally committed but as in football one can never say for certain



Richie Growling

Debuchy has read this article 20 times already


Wishing for some kind of dna
Any kind

Crash Fistfight

Ask the Manitowoc County Sheriff’s Department for some.


Hector watch out for those DNA stories ask Cesc he will tell u what happened to him as a result of that, be focused and keep up yo game, yo name will always sound irrespective of the club yo in.

Bob Davis

He’s got the potential to be the best right back since Lee Dixon. The spot is his for the next 15 years and could be the best right back in premiere league history if not the world. His performances have been so strong he’s pretty much destroyed Debuchy’s career at the club. Keep going son!

JJ's Bender

I love Dixo, don’t get me wrong but his propensity to score humdinger own goals pushed the great Lauren to my favourite RB. That and twatting Ronaldo every time he got near him


I disagree! Dixie spending all evening long winding Ginola up until he exploded and lashed out and got sent off ill remain with me forever!

Crash Fistfight

They won’t let me play football! :’-(

Fool of a Took

This is fun and everything, but I´ll bet my girlfriends kidney that this is exactly what will happen after the second leg. One of the tramps or hipsters in that cheating squad will start speaking about our Hector. They will start of casually like “I think he had a good game, he learned his craft right here so we expect nothing less”. A week goes by and this happens – “Hopefully he will come home this summer, the guy is basically raised here and we all miss him. We all know that Barca lies closest to his hear”. And right… Read more »

Fool of a Took

I do remember someone who apparently was destined to play for Barca, something about his blood or DNA. All the Catalan players were very convincing and could not stop talking about his inner organs.

But this one was cast aside from the club after two years because suddenly his DNA was not important. The club´s web site also wrote a statement that he was basically shit and he was not welcome anymore.

So much for “more than a club”.


Crash Fistfight

By internal organs, do you mean cojones?

Naija Gunner



Fackin ‘ilarious mate, yeah?! Good job, son! Funniest post i’ve seen since getting the app! (2+years ago)

Crash Fistfight

I still think the funniest post was this one:

Mostly because of the comments below, though, so you’ve probably got a good case for this one.

Noel Oliveira

Blog, you made Bellerin like a Rocknrolla. Cracker.

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