Arseblog News blows transfer rumour world apart with new feature

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Transfer poo-o-meter

Transfer rumours: we all know them. We know that for the most part they’re rubbish. We know that an entire online industry has built up around them.

Websites who basically invent stories from nothing thrive because of people’s desire to see new players sign for their club. They could call themselves ‘Transfer Lies’, ‘I just made this up’, or ‘You stupid dicks with your stupid faces you’ll believe anything’, and people would still click on them.

As for the proliferation of fake ITKs, crusty Kleenex on their desks in their bedrooms at their mum’s house, the less said the better.

Here at Arseblog News we’ve tried to cut through the nonsense down the years. Not always successfully, nobody’s perfect after all, but for the most part we’ve looked upon these stories with an experienced, weary eye and tried to give them some measure of reliability.

We introduced the Poo-o-Meter a couple of summers ago, in which we would rate transfer stories where 1 poo is a rock solid certainty, and 10 poos mean it’s a runny load of old shite which nobody should take seriously at all.

Now, bringing technology to its very limits, we’ve added an all new Poo-o-Meter which allows you, the reader, to rate the story for yourself. Crowd sourced transfer poo data is the way forward, and today we’re proud to have added something new, exciting and special to the world of transfer rumours.

We’ll be deploying this on all our transfer stories from now on, so you can share in interactivity of transfer poo.

Try it out now. Let’s invent a story: Arsenal set to sign really top striker and 30 goal a season man Trev Scoreblaster for £42m.

We say: sources are dodgy, a Tweet from some account with an egg avatar and quotes that can’t be found anywhere else. As such we’re going high, a liquidy 8. Over to you folks, poo to your heart’s content.

 

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EdtheRed

You should flog this new system to newsnow so I can stop checking it like an obsessive madman.

Hayatu

This is shitty..

AFC

Sounds rock solid to me! Are there half poos?

Mpls

Turtle heads (or tails) between each of the poos would really polish this turd.

Rossi88

Like it

Chris

Hahahaha awesome!

Koku

Shit happens

A Gorilla

Great idea, just needs a catchy name. Kickfarter?

gooneron

or Arseshit

Red Ed

Or Barselog.

Duece

The obvious; Arsebog

Trrr

This is fantastic, the absolute shit! 🙂

Cyclops

Well this wasn’t hard…

Phil Collins fan

Poo finger

Kevin Shrubsole

Ive been saying we should sign Scoreblaster for 2 years now ever since I signed him for 8 quid in FIFA 14

Someone Orother

He’s got a younger brother Kev who plays in the isthmian league too. Might be worth a punt!

Matt

Good idea. Next you should ask what people think of Wenger’s transfers policies last season and this one for example 😀

Johnboy

Someone always has to spoil it

Fake empire

I’ve watched Trev only few times, but he shows great composure in youtube clips. Make it happen Wenga!

ScotchEggsRule

It’s crap! I love it!

Trev Scoreblaster

Ha ha ha. I love your crapplication.

Ned Flanders Bible

Where’s the fan? I want to see the poo hit it!

the only sam is nelson

he’s no Grant Holt, this Scoreblaster

McGoldrick's shin pads

Caught cloth-side?

Gary

Scoreblaster! YES! Its about time we went in for a world class player like that. Now we’ll definitely win the league and then conquer the world. Yay.

Goonertastic14

What a computer age we live in

broken red army

Wenger hasnt made a poop yet. still reports suggest he is willing to poop big this summer for the striker theyve desprately needed for years

Zonaldo

Man… where the f*ck would my life be without arseblog.

Saud

Arsepooper

In the know

Ok, you asked for it. Ben Yedder to sign before the weekend…thats gospel

limp_biccies

Typical Wenger refusing to get his wallet out and pay what Quincy ME FC wanted for Trev Scoreblaster! I bet he goes for that youth prospect on a free from Ligue 2 instead… Pierre Onefodafutcha!

Papas

This site is very good because it’s full of shit

Anonymous

Any chance this will be natively implemented into the mobile apps? Currently on Android it opens chrome to use this.

Number 1 is Perry Groves

This needs to be an extension on our browsers, so any links come up with a poo rating before we even click on them.

newxieland

I can foresee a lot of constipated readers living on false hope.

Arseblood

Pass the Andrex….It’s a winner.

goonero

A different kind of stool sample, and much less awkward to give out!

ChhotaChattri

Shit just got real.

LeeJ

This is golden brown. My cup runneth over.

Lord Bendtner

I wanted to be the first one to poop :S

Lord Bendtner

In other news, strong words by Renieri pointing to Maharezs strong desire to leave.
He says that at other clubs if he doesn’t play so well they’ll put him on the bench cuz there’s so many other superstars.
Yea….don’t think that’s something he’ll have to worry about at Arsenal

TommyGun

Massively in favour of the opportunity to stage transfer dirty protests.

Ahmiid

Nah.. I don’t see us landing a prolific scorer like trev. Arsenal will be arsenal

bazza_wicks

had the dogs bollox now we have de dog shit

Mad Jens

This right here is the real shit.

Abdulmalik Mahdi

Arsenal being Arsenal I am taking this story seriously… I mean who knew Yaya Sonogo… I am going with 2 poos

ndkbse

Even though Scoreblasters current team don’t want to sell, he doesn’t want to play for Arsenal, Arsenal haven’t put in a bid and he is a figment of Blog’s imagination, I am disgusted that Wenger hasn’t already bought him!

Eamonn

The iPhone app seems to crash when you poop on it blogs, but I can poop just fine everywhere else!

Jama

I wish the arseblog app had a comments section. Opening a browser just to comment is soo last week.

Karma is de-Bitch-y

Apart from the fact that sometimes its stuck on “Processing” I really pooped the idea of the poo-o-meter

Poopin' for freedom

Perfect. This website has taken on a whole new level of realism. Now, when I’ve escaped my oppressive, beige cubicle for a morning poo (mainly to get away from Janine who just won’t shut the f*** up about how cute her cats are when they’re being sick) – I can offer some virtual poo, to go alongside my real poo. Pootastic. Thanks Mr. Blogs.

Sylent Syd

This is terrific. There’s been such a public stigma with regards to pooping that makes people hold it in for fear of embarassment, only to cause long-term damage farther down the line. I applaud Arseblog’s efforts to bring this serious issue into the public conversation. Too many have suffered in silence for too long…

Have a good poop, everyone!

GUN

I took a poop and it was runny.

mikko

I’ll take anyone at this point…

Morbius

Reader’s poops need at least one decimal place. I want to know if this seven is on the runny side or not

the american

*Poo Pun*

Scott

Haha! Trev Scoreblaster. Fucking great name.

Ortiz

????????