Monday, July 4, 2022

Wenger: Alexis is not fat

While Chile were struggling last week in their World Cup qualifiers, Alexis Sanchez’s former Under-20 coach Jose Soluntay branded the Arsenal man ‘fat’.

Anyone who has seen him show off his torso at every available opportunity will know that’s not the case, yet Arsene Wenger was compelled to come to his defence following the 3-0 win over Bournemouth.

He insisted the Chilean was in good shape, and full of desire to play for the club in the Premier League and the Europa League this season.

“He is not fat,” insisted the boss. “His fat percentage is under ten, so that’s not fat, but you know how it is when you don’t win, people find every problem for you.

“He was not completely physically ready to start three games in a week and certainly for Chile he was not completely ready as well.”

As for his Arsenal state of mind, Wenger continued, “He is disciplined, serious and committed. He is focused. He told me he is focused on the Premier League and Europa League.

“On top of that Chile had a bad experience, but he came back full of desire and was ready to play.”

I suspect there are many people reading this who would love to be as ‘fat’ as Alexis.

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What are atom and humber’s body fat percentages?


I wish I was as ‘fat’ as Alexis. The beer I am drinking on monday morning doesn’t help my case!


PH fat…? Phat


PHAT – Pretty hot and tempting.

Ryan C

Tubby li’l bastard, ain’t he?
Well, at least he isn’t a behemoth like Elneny or a lard-bucket like Reiss-Nelson.

Sheffield Gooner

Yep, wish I was as fat as Alexis.


Yo striker so fat, he can’t even move to Manchester.


There seems to be a shortage of fat people in Manchester With Rooney leaving to Everton.

Brendan from NY

Hilarious! SpamB0t, you win a prize

Damo Dinkum

What’s next?

“No, Per Mertesacker is not short.”


Looks short of games though

Parisian Weetabix

Mind you it took him long enough to realise “no, Hector Bellerin is not left-footed.”

Kanu can do but Bartra is smartra

Yeah, alexis hates it when people make fat jokes but arsene thinks he just needs to lighten up!

You’re welcome internet


The man has a proper six pack without the skinny build you’d usually find.

Confusing world we live in..

occams hatchet

Also, Wenger added, Sead Kolasinac is not a Nancy boy.

Leah\'s Left Foot

Nope, born in Karlsruhe…. I’ll get me coat.


Nancy boy is an old fashioned term for gay. Maybe you didn’t mean it in that way, but – you can be gay and strong/tough.

occams hatchet

I’ve only heard it used to mean “soft,” squeamish, lacking toughness. Perhaps I’m naïve. Thanks for letting me know, because I definitely didn’t mean to use it as a euphemism for gay. Now I just want to delete it. 🙁


Fair enough!

Like your name btw

Stringer Bell

Sead is obeast


You’ve peaked in life woth that comment String! It’s all downhill from here now.

Gudang Pelor

God, I really really wish we have 7 players of sead’s ilk. Tired of wallcots and ramseys. I dont mind ozil because to me he’s some kind of wizard that should be supported by others in the team while he’s doing his magic.

Bendtner\'s ego

If that U-20 coach is confused about the definition of fat, I’ll gladly take a selfie to show him.

Ex-Priest Tobin

Wenger certainly does seem to be rambling on a lot lately. Would prefer less talk and more focus.


I think you should direct this irritation to the journalists that ask these questions…

Wenger, or any of our players for that matter, rarely grab the mic off a journalist and start making random monologues, they just respond to questions. I am amazed to have felt the need to make this point.


It’s because Tobin loves the name Wenger so much


There he goes again using facts and data to evidence his statement….


Another answer Wenger could make: “No, Özil is not slow”. Speedest on saturday against Bournemouth.

Tom Gun

In other news:

Cazorla is not tall
Mertesacker is not short
Giroud is not ugly but not as dreamy as Pires
Lehman is not calm and sane
Bergkamp is God
Henry is King
The only FA or UEFA things that Sp*rs win is Fuck All and Ultra Extra Fuck All
….and finally, Terry is a cunt.

All brought to you by “State the Obvious News cos some twat wants 5 mins of fame”….and Trevor McDonald


Stoke is full of orcs and they are not pretty.


God the boss gets asked some bat shit crazy things. Some fans ask why the boss is always talking. Well, it’s because he’s always being asked questions and the next stupid one is just around the corner. Those column inches have to be written so what’s the twist we can put on it (we’ve even had the fat thing)…

Man Manny

Mental fat I guess. All that talk about his future is enough to make one’s head swell.


He’s not even Ronaldinho fat, much less Ronaldo or Adriano fat.


Chile’s problem (predictably) is they have an aging “golden’ generation and have not enough talent coming through.

Nothing top do with Alexis. The man eats mountains for breakfast, doesn’t look like an ounce of fat on him.

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