The transfers never stop with all that transfer action coming at you like a never-ending transfer human centipede, each one pooping a transfer nugget into the mouth of the next person who poops a transfer nugget into the … well, you get the horrendous picture.
Here’s the latest round up of Arsenal related transfer stories.
Reinier Jesus Carvalho
Carvalho is the Portuguese for oak. Jesus is the Jesus for Jesus. And Reinier describes the weather in Ireland for much of this summer. Therefore, I’m fully on board with Arsenal signing Rainy Jesus Oak.
No, he’s not God’s son who has come back to earth in the shape of a mighty footballing Ent, but a 17 year old attacking midfielder who is captain of the Brazilian U17s team.
It now seems clear that our strategy for this summer is to acquire as many attacking midfielders under the age of 20 as possible. Gabriel Martinelli is coming in, to add to Reiss Nelson, Bukayo Saka, Emile Smith Rowe and Xavier Amaechi from the Academy, plus Alexis Claude Maurice undoubtedly on the way from Lorient, and probably a few others I’ve forgotten too.
Unai Emery’s revolutionary, 1-4-5 formation next season is going to set the football world aflame.
Given the source for this one is TuttoMercattoWeb, we’re going high on the Poo-o-Meter, although another Brazilian linked just before we’re about to appoint a Brazilian Technical Director gives us mild pause for thought.
‘Torreira to Milan’, says MaldiniBlog.
‘Milan’s priority is Torreira’, writes Le San Siro.
‘Gunners Uruguayan on Milan hit list’, blogs VanBastenAteMyDogBlog
‘Gazidis is a bald bitch stronzo’, says MlanBlog.
Anyway, there’s lots of talk about how Milan want to sign Lucas Torreira, with one person even suggesting a €35m fee is being discussed, but frankly, that makes no sense.
Only the kind of club who could lose two international players in their prime for free would be foolish enough to sanction a deal like th- …
Torreira sounds happy enough for now, so we’re not worried.
According to CalcioMercato, West Ham, Arsenal and Tottenham are interested in AC Milan’s Suso. He’s an attacking midfielder (quel surprise!), who scored 7 goals in 35 Serie A appearances last season.
He’s Spanish, which obviously makes him attractive to Unai Emery and Raul Sanllehi, but we vehemently oppose this potential signing on the basis that if you stutter over his name you are reminded of a dreadful Phil Collins song and we cannot countenance that in any way.
This one can get in the bin and also into the sea while still in the bin.