As Arsenal prepare for tonight’s Champions League clash with Galatasaray with yet another spate of injuries, we here at Arseblog News decided it was about time somebody made a handy infographic of all the knocks, aches, strains and niggles we’ve picked up in the last 10 years.
The list is absolutely definitive, sourced from data we simply made up ourselves – and how can you possibly argue with that. Feel free to share.
Made me spit out my coffee. Congrats.
Fluxed Patella.
Hamstring Ozyaf**kedup
Discombobulated Luznhy
Aliadieryngitis
Andresanotosness
You forgot ThRobben Nob Rot.
John Phlegmy is a vaginal discharge.
Squillaci Squits
10. Diaby
ONE Aching Wanker!
Thierry Ligaments
1 – Dennis Burncramp
Nothing worse than a bad case of the rusty gussets. I was out all last season with a depressed spleen, and have only just recovered from my case of semi-bastardised left fibula. If anyone has any tips for aiding jilted sprockets, send them my way.
Rosickski
Cerebral Ramsey
why the thumbs down on this one? I thought that was great!
Diabytic?
Arsematic
Coleholio
Cole-on cancer
Scholes’ Vitriol !
Sounds realistically old fashioned
Cracked Wilshere
Winterburn – burning feeling when it supposedly couldn’t and where it definitely shouldn’t.
Sorry is that for the whole squad or just poor abou?
Winterburn groin injury – burning feeling when it supposedly couldn’t and where it definitely shouldn’t.
Housemaid’s Szczesny
Danny un-welbeck.
Freddie Lung burst.
Tomas Rosicky
and All because the lady loves Milk Tray
Grade 3 Mertesacker Petit muscle strain.
Millions- all fans suffering from AIDS- arsenal injury depression syndrome
FLAMINISIS
Blogs do you have the archive of the geocities site, geocities has been down since 2009.
http://geocities.com/arse/stuff/and/that/7465
Lack of sarcasm font lets us down again
Sylvestre-Stepanovs Syndrome.
The uncontrollable crumbling of knees at the sight of an oncoming football.
Rottenbum Hotspurts.
Kieracked Ribbs
Itchy Walscrott
Coughyu Phelgmini
Shad might want to look into whether Fapper’s Wrist and Dennis Pennis Elbow might have related causes.
Van Bronckhorstitis
At least we seem to have shaken off the Van Pursestringitis for the time being. That one was going through the club like wildfire for a few years there.
And the Nasritic Chin. That was nasty.
broken mertesacker
Currently we’ve got
mikkel artritis
Jack wiltedshin
Aaron rammedknee
Oliver notoes
Matt thebunkknee
And so on
Tony Cascarinob
Ashy Colon
Mikel Calfitis
Ramstring
Good that Wenger is finally admitting that the pitch could be part of the problem. Physios have known, or suspected, for ages that having a high proportion of artificial grass is a dangerous thing. It doesn’t tear like the real stuff so a stud caught at an awkward angle can result in exactly the sort of twisting injury we saw with Debuchy. Probably it makes hamstring pulls etc. more likely as well. Not that there’s much we can do till the end of the season. Possibly not even then. It may just be the price we have to pay for… Read more »
how did Mert get injured a couple of seasons back? Wasn’t it on the freshly ploughed pastures of Sunderland’s Cattermole Paddock?
No one’s saying no player ever gets injured on other pitches. The point is, seeing as we’ve been top of the injury table for the best part ten years, just maybe it’s good that Wenger is being asked by the media to consider some of the possible explanations. His failure to consider them for over a decade didn’t do us much good.
Stinkin Could
So anyone notice we really haven’t been playing well without Giroud? When he’s not there to ping balls off (yeah yeah) or hold up the play to create an out its tough going. Let’s hope we can find that balance and start performing like we all know we can!
Repeat of Villa please!! But with more goals, like a baker’s dozen or so!
murinho
The Rickity Bendtners.
An ailment of the mind which convinces the all too vincible that they are in fact totally invincible.
Often fatal if left untreated.
We hope…
Kinda sick to poke fun at someone being injured.
Phlegmini throat
This is fucking BRILLIANT! I laughed out loud at the picture, and the comments are even funnier. Smeg, I love the English penchant for wordplay! Hats off to the lot of you, especially Blogs for coming up with this in the first place.
Arsenal players suffered almost 900 injuries in 12 years – study ESPN staff October 1, 2014 Arsenal players have sustained 889 injuries since August 2002, according to a report by PhysioRoom.com. The Gunners’ 889 injuries over the 12-year period compare to 792 for Manchester United, 620 for Chelsea and 551 for Liverpool. Arsene Wenger’s side is currently suffering from its latest injury crisis after Aaron Ramsey and Mikel Arteta joined long-term absentees Olivier Giroud and Mathieu Debuchy on the sidelines. Ramsey is set for a month out after picking up a hamstring injury in Saturday’s 1-1 draw with Tottenham while Arteta suffered… Read more »
Germvinhole
Maybe we should play the next game running backwards to rewind the injuries?
I’ll get me coat…
For those that don’t know : “Fappers Wrist” is a caused by spending too much time rubbing in the ointment prescribed to soothe the itching you get when suffering from “Parsons Trombone”.
If your Parsons Trombone lasts more than four hours you should contact your physician.
Gervinitis Foreleg
Arteta Koscielny Ligament Damage
Robert expires
may be the emirates is built on an ancient man slaughter house and the distressed souls are yanking our players legs as they try to escape