Friday, November 15, 2024

“Give them a seat and a good book”

Arsene Wenger says UEFA should provide a seat and a good book for the additional officials used in European games as he doesn’t understand what assistance they offer to referees.

Making his barbed comments in light of Anderlecht’s ridiculously offside first goal at the Emirates on Wednesday the boss stressed that his is a view that is shared by many in the football fraternity.

“The goal number one, we can never have an influence on that. When the guy who is one yard offside or two yards offside gets the goal we can never influence that.

“Every time we go to Geneva, [Pierluigi] Collina [member of UEFA’s Referees Committee] tell us the fifth referee is an absolutely fantastic finding, but when you see the pictures on the first goal it’s absolutely unbelievable.

“The guy stands behind the line in front of the offside guy and doesn’t say a word.

“I don’t know what they are doing, the guys behind the line; what they are paid for? I think that’s the general feeling shared by everybody who watches football.

“I think they should buy a seat for them and give them a good book.”

It’s worth pointing out at this point that Arsene wasn’t pinpointing the offside goal as an excuse for his side’s abject capitulation on Tuesday evening, but merely putting in context how the failure to make a routine decision helped alter the pattern of the game.

Arseblog News had a little think about the books that UEFA might like to provide their refs and reckons works by the following authors might be suitable.

Penaltee Williams
Goal Dahl
J.K Fouling
Blowmore Leonard
Isaac Asimovside
HG Welloffside
Ernest Hemingwayoffside
Salman Rushgoalie
Nikolai Nogoal
Handball Christian Andersen
Edgar Allan Post
Gabriel Garcia Marker

Feel free to add your own and any specific book titles below. We’ll be emailing Michel Platini with a comprehensive list this afternoon.

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eddymc2

So, how long do we think his touchline ban for freely thinking will be this time?

David

you beat me to it! I was wondering if Wenger will get a ban for this as well. I watch as many CL games as the wifey will let me and I’ve almost never seen those silly officials behind the goal line even make a call. Why not have the 4th official with an iPad receiving the TV stream? It takes the viewers at home about 3-5 seconds to see the replay after a play so it’s not like it will slow the game down that much… Football finally has goal line technology, but would it be that hard to… Read more »

Arth

The stream that we have significantly lags behind the real time events. The 3-5 seconds.. You’re probably looking at around 20-30 seconds. Which is a lot.

neutral

There is no reason the officials could not have a direct feed, why not place tracking devices on the players that automatically indicates an offside position. It is a silly rule anyway. Football would be a more interesting game without it.

Alexis' will

That is a ridiculous thing to say. Offside is what adds the dimension of creativity into football, the skill of timing the run and the pass and thus obviously adds loads of necessary abilities for the defenders to have to counter this.

alexis' shorts

That’s really not possible to place tracking devices. Pretty much any part of the body save for the arms counts in determining whether a player is offside. You’d have to cover the players in trackers to make such a system worthwhile, and that sounds like a total waste of time and money. Something more feasible (still not worth the cost) would be to have real-time sensors covering the pitch on both ends from the goal line to ~30 yards from each goal up to ~8 ft in the air. But again, you’d have the case of if a players’ hands… Read more »

Az Ahmed

No offsides? Hmmm could be interesting. You could have one of two scenarios, either a ton of goals every game or more likely defensive football with teams sitting back to ensure the striker doesn’t get in on goal due to his goal hanging. One Jose Mourinho is more than enough.

Az Ahmed

George Bernard Shawcross
Salman Rushden and Diamonds
Roald Jon Dahl Tomasson

Daniel

It’s UEFA, don’t expect any logical thinking from them, the idiots who investigated our club for away fans of another club throwing flares.

Seoighe

“Give them a seat and a good book”, how about a warm blankie as well Arsey, you can all sit together then

Runcorn Gooner

Give them one of AW zip up coats.That will keep them occupied for 90 minutes

beagleboy

You mean the pre-‘Wenger-approved’, Nike ones?

Jayhouserock

William Goaling

Runcorn Gooner

Charles what the Dickens is going on behind the goal

Jayhouserock

George Scorewell

beagleboy

I found his 19:84 a too depressing scoreline to continue past half time.

Mooro

Anton Chekovside

beagleboy

Being an avid reader of Chekovside, my favorites are ‘Hill-Wood Demon’, ‘Three Refs’, and ‘On the Harmful Effects of Financial Doping’!

Mooro

Man-mark Twain

Mooro

Charles Kickins

Ed

George RR Mark-him

Mooro

Leo Goalstoy

Fireman Sam

Philip Shirtpullman

Kunt Vonnegut (Mourinho biographer)

Mooro

Fyodor Lostoneylsky

Mooro

J.R.R. Goalkien

Ry

Nice burn, Wenger! That’s why we keep him around.

the.fRyan.dutchman

Amitav Goalsh
Sir Arthur Conan Dive
Franz Crashka
Out-ran Pamuk
Kha-led(by a goal) Hosseini

timmytimtimothy

Terry Fullkitchett – Dicsworld

🙂

bulbul

Thomas Hardlyscores

Was born a Gooner

Arsenal Winger…

He’z the author of the following books…
1. “Shove Cunts (Mourinho) aside”
2. “Dont buy for the sake of buying”
3. “People give opinions; Dont Give a fuck”
4. “Going back to basics”
5. “Priorities” (Cesc)
6. “LANS”
7. “4-1-4-1”
.
Add other books you know this fantastic author wrote…

Seoighe

‘Mental Strength for Dummies’
‘The Idiots Guide to Handbrakes’
‘The Road to Resilience’
‘The Unseen Incident’

bring in the younglings

Oscar Wildtackle

Rozza sliding tackle

timmytimtimothy

Neil Gameson – American Bendtners

Pops Sadiq

A book called “how to spot offsides” or may be “football rules and regulations”.

El Doctor

Isabel I’llendthecontesthere, House of the Dispirited

timmytimtimothy

Patricia Cornerswell – Arsenal, however…

LongTimeReader_FirstTimeCommenter

Ayn RanOutofsteam
F. Scott

LongTimeReader_FirstTimeCommenter

And the F is for fuck terry

Seoighe

more reading, less commenting…

ClockEndRider

W.H. Auden-Tweemarkham.

Nacho de Montreal is tasty

Blindness from Jose Saranogo

German Shepherd

WH Auden’t he have called that

Samiola

J Who R Ya Hartley

Big Chief from Antarctica

Arthur Thismanain’tloyal

Nyc gunner

Stephen Kings of London
Thomas Wolverhampton
Malcolm Gladwellbeck
Jacques Lacan’t score

Ancient North London Guardian

imagine if any team could make a ‘challenge’ for doubtful decision (just like in Tennis). one chance to do that for each half should be enough.

mersons coke dealer

charles podolski.

Whispering Whippersnapper

Paolo Goal Hell-No (Coelho)
C(an’t) S(core) Lewis
John GRIStled-HAMmys

Hajdúk

Dean Cunts.

arseblog

Subtle

Hajdúk

Ste phenKing offside?

Ben

Lord of the Guns trilogy – JRR Tolkamp

Ben

Ha Ha!… Or Dien Cunts

Seoighe

George Bernard Draw

Jordan

Orson Scott YellowCard

DrabWilly

Salman Spot-and-Rushdie.

mpls

Thomas Pyncharm

mpls

Charles Bitekowski

mpls

Cunter S. Thompson

Goonsquad

Frederick Forfucksakeyoublindcuntwhatbloodygoodareyou.

Trez

Yeah because they told you to let a 3 goal lead slip right??

Dat other guy

H.G. Wellbeck
Martin A Miss
Two-nill Capote
Irvine Welsh Jesus
Thierry Henry Miller
Iain North Banks

richardanus

Isaac Asimovside. Brilliant!

Nacho de Montreal is tasty

1) The cocky one must lose, Edited by Stamford Bridget
2) Football rules for dummies by Luigi Collina
3) Three Ways of keeping your concentration
4) How to not make fool of yourself

Whoever

Ian (2) Banks (of four)

Whoever

For the goalkeepers: Terry Catchett

Whoever

Sebastian (for) Faulkes (sake!)

Kennington Gunner

Conn Ig-goal-den
W B Cheats
William Makepeace and get on with the game

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