Thursday, December 19, 2024

Arsenal excellent at grass (again!)

The perfectly manicured turf at the Emirates Stadium has again been recognised as the best in English football.

Yesterday the Premier League confirmed that Arsenal’s groundsmen, led by Paul Ashcroft, have retained their crown as the Barclays Grounds Team of the Year; an honour they share with the team at Manchester United.

As explained on the Premier League’s official website: “Run by the Playing Surfaces Committee in conjunction with the Sports Turf Research Institute [STRI], the awards recognise the importance of the quality of pitches for professional football, encourage all groundstaff to produce high-quality pitches and acknowledge the head groundsmen and their staff who produce the best playing surfaces in each division.

“The scoring system for the Barclays Premier League Grounds Team of the Year is based on marks for specific aspects of pitch and management performance. It is compiled using marks from match officials and match delegates.”

We tend to take it for granted these days that our pitch always looks perfect, probably forgetting the labour-intensive work that is undertaken to keep it exactly that. We’ve heard the team are trained to visualise a sprawled Jose Mourinho each time they skewer the grass with their pitch fork. So at least there’s an element of day-to-day fun involved.

A tip of the cap to all those involved both at the Emirates and at the two training grounds.

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CB

We have a great home record. This must help so take a bow groundsmen!

CB

Ozil, this must help you pasture team mates…

cesc van pushy

arsenal is best when it comes to grass, matchday service, uniforms, passing game and all that stuff that dont matter much. It is the point table we should be best at next season.

Exiledgooner

I’ve been to grounds in England where the pitch looks like a bog, and the ball’s movement suffers as a result. The game looks less like football and more like a cavalry charge; not a particularly gratifying spectacle. I’ve also been to grounds where the lavatories look like that one from Trainspotting, the food looks like it has been lifted from that lavatory in trainspotting, and the staff act like they live in that lavatory in Trainspotting. It does somewhat make for a less than pleasant afternoon out. These things do matter. A club that aspires to be the best… Read more »

Andy Mack

With a name like ‘cesc van pushy’ he clearly has very low standards!

Dave Gooner

Watching grass grow is less boring than watching Chelsea.

Cunts.

Nognir

Would be interesting to know the grounds with the worst pitches. Sunderland, Burnley, Stoke, Leicester seem pretty bad. Anfield doesn’t look in any better shape too.

flappylegs

I think Burnley by far but I do suspect they make it even worse when we go there…

Rich

Mourinho is a cunt of epic proportion.

Alex

Grass! Green! Smoooooth!

alex

does this count as breaking the trophy drought ha ha ha ha HA

oh

Double98

We are the reigning FA cup holders.

What drought?

Did you miss 2014?

Dylan

A clear example of why sarcasm font really needs to be invented.

Paul

It wasn’t sarcastic, just odd imo

badaab

How is Old Trafford a nice pitch? That place is a mouse eaten, mud puddle covered, Sunday League ground.

Le Jim

Chelsea: League and League Cup
Arsenal: Community Shield, Grass Trophy, FA Cup(?)

3-2 you fucks. Now THAT’s boring 😉

Theoptimist

I wonder if the immaculate surface is related to our injuries. I bet they don’t train on anything other than perfectly flat turf either. Perhaps this explains weak ankles etc.

Undercover Gooner

Wonder what Brenda Rodgers has to say about this. Cunt.

womblegooner

I was at the emirates for a meeting a this week, 8am and the team were out on the pitch cutting the grass, top class…

Forfuckssake

I heard the following conversation between the grounds staff (Jack was there too) Cheech: [seeing a jar with a yellowish fluid inside] Hey Man, what took you so long. Hey, can have some of that man, let me have a sip. Chong: What, this, oh here. [hands him the jar] Cheech: Yeah man… wait a minute, [sniffs the inside] Cheech: Hey man, that’s pee! Chong: Of course. Cheech: Hey man, what are you doing with pee, man? Chong: It’s for my probation officer. Cheech: What, does he drink pee? Chong: No man, he said he wanted me to bring some… Read more »

Forfuckssake

Crikey 2 christians voting me down. Just wait for the stoners to back me up?

flappylegs

Lol I’ll vote you up… but you must understand that to people who arent stoned stoner humour is not that great. Specially cheech and chong if ur not american.

Forfuckssake

Might have to wait a while but they will be there

Forfuckssake

Remember guys to vote GREEN

Scribe

“AAAAAnd it’s Aaarrrseenaals Grass”

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