Olivier Giroud suffered a difficult time for France last night in their friendly against Serbia.
The striker missed a couple of presentable chances, drawing some jeers from the home crowd – which is quite unusual as the French fans are not known for their impatience.
As Arsenal’s only goalscorer this season, the Frenchman could do with his confidence being boosted rather than blasted, but those who think he’ll be affected may have to reconsider.
The former Montpellier man has responded to the ire of the crowd by releasing a haiku and a painting entitled ‘Le garçon mécontent’, depicting a sad boy, perhaps somebody he viewed in the crowd last night in Bordeaux.
The Haiku reads:
You cannot crush me
It’s not my fault I’m gorgeous
Benzema sucked too
We’re unsure at this point why he chose English for his poetry, but it’s probably because he has grown tired of the harsh, guttural sounding French language.
His painting, however, is pure French expressionism. There are elements of Degas, Cézanne, and, dare we say, it Toulouse-Lautrec? We dare, we dare a lot.
The choice of colours and light amplify the sadness of the boy, his pre-pubescent fluff cascading down his ruddy cheeks, like a dissident Joan of Arc.
Renowned art critic, Sir Lancealot Clearmountain, told Arseblog News, “I’m not ashamed to admit I felt a stirring in my loins as I viewed this majestic piece of artwork. When he finishes with football, I’m sure a career behind the easel awaits.
“I would certainly allow him to fingerpaint me.”
Let’s hope his football is as inspirational on Saturday against Stoke.
Read the headline and thought “What the hell?”. The minute I opened the article I saw the image and had one of those Homer Simpson “D’oh!” moments. Love Arseblog!
“I would certainly allow him to fingerpaint me.”
hahahahahahaha
Actually I expected him to wear the haute couture stuff with full wings attached, walking it on the catwalk, and deliver his haiku graciously: “It’s not my fault I’m gorgeous”
Now that’s Giroud style of art…. kind of.
But in the end, I thought le garçon painting is fine.
Everything is Wenger’s fault!
That not true. He is innocent. Never did anything wrong. Actually he is perfect! Viva Arsen Wenger!
(MS Paint on canvas, 6×18″)
Why was Dog the Bounty Hunter in Bordeaux?
“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?” said a dissident Joan of Arc…
Home fans, let’s get behind the lad. He’s going to have the sole responsibility of leading the line for us for the next few months.
Here’s to him bashing some Orcs and bulging the ole onion bag this weekend.
Giroud the Orc Slayer!
A near-post flick past the keeper off a cutback from Theo sure would be a nice way to rekindle that partnership!
Or better yet, a couple of thunderous drives off each of Arnautovic’s testicles that result in the world’s first live orchidectomy via football.
Do you mean Stoke the team with more CL winners than Arsenal? 🙂 They don’t play like Orcs any more; we have to be careful of this opponent.
I really hope we start with Sanchez – Giroud – Walcott up front. Bring on the Ox when one of the wingers starts to get tired or when Walcott gets his 10th touch of the game (usually by the 70 min mark).
Adam, Shawcross, Arnautovic.
All have injured Arsenal players via orcish cuntery. They’ve added a few actual players, but in my book they’re orcs ’til they’re not!
Thankfully Adam and Afellay will have to settle for stomping and slapping each other in the stands.
Last I saw them one of their orcs quite orcishly tackled Debouchy mid air and off the pitch thus orcing up our newly procured French defender good and orcishly proper. Orcish enough for me.
Yes, we must beware of them.
Wenger needs to give game time to Walcott and keeps him in the form he had before the summer or even better.
The depth of this man’s soul and the captivating grace of his paintbrush strokes transcend life itself.
Dear Sir Lancealot Clearmountain I love that you have a (Doctorate in Artology – based on the principles and analysis of footballers mental ability to absorb “boos and vile criticism” through works of art) submitted by the receiver of such boos and vile words momentarily brayed by fickle fans and supporters of Les Peacock to a handsome hero who probably at next summer’s 2016 tournament , they’ll kiss his arse when he scores the wining Championship goal) You have done your corporate affiliation proud today and I in particular bow to your expertise Dear Giroud Laugh at them Just laugh… Read more »
Olivierre is now a fucking artist. Thanks Wenger.
He’s a warrior poet. Just like Braveheart and Ice Cube
And Ghost Dog.
Giroud’s expressive artwork is right up there with the work of a certain Brazilian/Portugese maestro, whose paintings are collectively known as Art Deco.
Tbh when Griezman helped him with a beautiful pass and both of them just valsed through the defensive line in sync (look for Griezman vine on twitter) he was unlucky to miss the goal with couple of inches. You can’t train luck can you!? *rings juju guy from Wales team*
I love the excellent haiku, class… HFB you simply ooze class…. your goals will come, nous vous aimez….
i think I’m the only one read the painting as “djibril Cisse”. I need to get my eyes checked.
Really want to win the title with giroud upfront to prove all his doubters and shitty pundits wrong.Yes,he may not be “worldclass” but he is good enough to produce and help this club to reach glory.Giroud is a confidence player,so he needs our support not booing.Here hoping for a goalscoring run he got into after monaco howler.
Sigh
Dunno what “world Class” means. Giroud is Top ten in the world as far as CF are concerned. He needs to take his chances better to prove his doubters wrong. Considering what we paid for him as oppose to what Liverpool paid for Benteke, he certainly is great value. Do not recall the critics laying into Benteke when he drew a nought against a make shift (and porous) defensive pairing for us in Calum and Gabriel. Had it been Giroud, they would say he could not take his opportunties. Much of this malcontent is media generated. There is much moaning… Read more »
Me thinks you like the (internet equivalent of the) sound of your own voice a tad too much dear boy.
I see you’ve gone from top 6 to 8 and now 10. Next you’ll go down to 15.
You claim there was no one available better than he is, now you bring up Ayew of all people…not Dzeko, not Jackson Martinez, heck not even jovetic but ayew??
Next week: Theo responds to his critics by the medium of interpretative dance.
I’d be in a blissful state if Alexis danced his name on an orc’s face this Saturday. He’d probably get an arts council grant. Performance Art
Giroud starts ahead of Benzema. What does that tell you? COYG! ?
in a friendly match?? Funny how he never did so in the euros and last world cup.
On the topic of orcs. Remember Newcastle tried to play orcish football last time and they had a proper bashing from the ref. So stoke should be alright or the ref will come for them.