Thursday, November 14, 2024

Arsenal install cryotherapy chamber at London Colney

Arsenal have, as part of a refit of the training ground, installed a cryotherapy chamber for the prevention and treatment of injuries throughout the season.

The company, CryoAction, who manufacture the products say, “The cryotherapy treatments aim to reduce the effects of fatigue resulting from the intensity of the Premier League season.

“In addition, offering the ability to reduce the impact of soft tissue injuries, bringing pain relief, enhancing sleep recovery and improving overall player well-being, the new cryotherapy chamber complements the advanced techniques now available to Arsenal FC players.”

The system is already being used at clubs like Everton, Leicester City, Bournemouth, and Watford, and highlights the club’s willingness to improve facilities and benefit player fitness which has been an issue down the years.

There is already a plunge pool at the training ground, but the new cryotherapy chamber can fit up to 8 players at a time who can undergo treatments at temperatures as low as -160°C for durations of between 3 and 5 minutes.

Basically, it’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, but it’s also good for you.

Co-founder of CryoAction, David Morris, said, “The installation at Arsenal went very smoothly … we have created one of the largest cryotherapy chambers installed in the UK.

“We look forward to working with the medical and sports science teams at Arsenal FC to introduce a best practice regimen around whole body cryotherapy as a key element in their recovery protocols.”

Arseblog News also understands the club are to construct an underground facility which will see players spend up to 15 minutes at a time in total darkness. This is scientifically proven by actual scientists to improve peripheral vision by up to 16%, allowing for marginal gains in the final third when trying to slip in that perfect through ball.

It’s incredible what technology can do these days.

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Pedant

Therapy just by crying = Cryotherapy?

I must be well protected then.

Paul

And most of us fans each season.

Good old Arsenal looking after us.

420Goonerblayzeit

It’s intended to recreate the blue balls sensation we get every year after flaming out of the title race.

Gandalf

Cryolyst for change

I’ll get my cryoat

I’m genuinely sorry you wasted your time reading this

Domi

This was really funny Gandalf! 🙂

Onenil

Keep Alexis on ice. Only let him out to play for us. It’s a cunning plan.

J Dizzle

Like it. Give him the Han Solo treatment

cagooner

“Warm liquid goo phase commencing. Warm liquid goo phase complete”.

ArPar

Then we’ll call him Alexice.

I’ll see myself out now. Bye guys.

Isaiah Rankin

After I play football the only thing that is close to -160°C is the eight or ten pints of Guinness I drink for recovery before I smash a large lamb doner on the way home for protein.

CharlieGeorge

Laaaaaaad

cagooner

Are you the real Charlie George? I still have my poster of you!

Bacary Lasagna

If only you did this in the days of Tony Adams and the pre-Wenger era! Then you’d probably have been a club legend and have a kebab named after you.

420Goonerblayzeit

If only the cryo chamber could give us another Iceman

Stuck on repeat...

True…but can imagine ‘The Terminator’ music will be playing each time Sead Kolasinac exits the cryo chamber.

Ben Rivers

Is this a cunning return for the iceman?

Mesut Ozzle

Think I’ll stick to the sauna tbh

Con

This honestly reads like a wind-up, Blogs. To my immense surprise, however, when I Googled them I discovered that they’re a real company. I guess being a Gooner doesn’t do much for a our suspicion or cynicism.

Fletcher

Lol..same here

Original Paul

I don’t believe the dark room thing.

Lord Bendnter

At the end of every season, freeze Sanchez in that underground chamber. Let him out at the end of each summer transfer window, each time convincing him it’s still 2017 and he has another year left on his contract.
Problem solved

HiuYan Lau

Why’s it sound like another April Fool’s Day article?

Dino

LOL.. Which one’s true here? Ice Vault or Dark Dungeon?

Burt Macklin FBI

Signing of the season

yen

Can it play in the central midfield though?

Djgooner

Macklin, you son of a bitch

PVS

There’s a high chance that cryotherapy is snake oil. The results are still in debate

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Don’t tell the Arsenal squad that!!!!

baz00r

think of the shrinkage

Domi

Ahahahaha 🙂 like George in Seinfeld – ” the water was cold!!”

A different George

Very cool. Very, very cool.

AlexNuggz

Shove Alexis to recover in there, then give him a Goku-esque unveiling similar to the battle against Freeza!

nuclearArsenal

like a brand new signing

Old

Is it April 1st

Hereford gooner

“Arseblog News also understands the club are to construct an underground facility which will see players spend up to 15 minutes at a time in total darkness. This is scientifically proven by actual scientists to improve peripheral vision by up to 16%, allowing for marginal gains in the final third when trying to slip in that perfect through ball.” A) Can this not be achieved by just turning out the lights in a normal room? I’d prefer to see the underground lair funds diverted elsewhere. B) I spend 8 hours a night in total darkness and my peripheral vision is… Read more »

PeteyB

Think your arsegoggles need a little tuning. It seems you’ve failed to discern the fine line between reality and bullshit. It can be confusing when blogs shifts midway through a borderline unbelievable article but that’s part of the fun, and good practice for the real world.

A different George

Mesut Ozil’s arsegoggles.

Hereford gooner

I built my own underground lair and it cost a ruddy fortune. A big outlay for a dark pile of chains and bones. Spend it on Lemar instead

Gutbukkit Deffrolla

Carrots. Anything sitting in a dark room can do carrots can do better.

…and you’ll develop the ability to fly fighter planes too.

SpamB0t

“The cryotherapy treatments aim to reduce the effects of fatigue resulting from the intensity of the Premier League season.”

Maybe we should have spent a little extra to get the model that also reduces fatigue from the Champio- never mind.

ClockEndRider

The whole fucking team played like they were in a very dark room between Jan and April last season. I’d have thought that was the last thing they needed.

Stuck on repeat...

Hmmm…”…improve peripheral vision by up to 16%, allowing for marginal gains in the final third when trying to slip in that perfect through ball”.

** Ozil v.2017 – NOW with 16% better peripheral vision! **

YES!!! 🙂

PodB

This chamber is actually to freeze Wenger each summer so he can be re-signed over and over and over again. In 2077, if we are still here, he will reappear each July out of the mists of ice. ”Its all about ze quality”

Segy Turner

ahh.. class comment there PodB

Goontang

Maybe it will help freeze ticket prices

ClockEndRider

Which haven’t gone up for a while and in fa t season tickets were reduced in price tgis year. Let’s not moan about stuff that hasn’t happened.

Oh_nay_zay

I think Mad Jens will use this cryotherapy chamber effectively – Miss goal-scoring chances, GET IN THERE! Misplace a pass, GET IN THERE! Miss a save, Cech yourself into that chamber! Hug and shake rival team players after drawing or losing a derby, GET YO ARSES SAT IN THERE EVERYONE!!!

ramgooner

Good. Send them all to Bergkamp wonderland.

Byte

Why is this a News ??????????/

Luke

It’s actually concerning how many comments there are about the effects of the ‘dark room’. No wonder the papers feel like they can make up transfer rumours if people believe that.

Tbrown

This is Wengers’ master plan to prolong his stay at the club, wonder how many years this’ll add to his career!?!?

robm

With Blogs’ picture to illustrate the article, I cannot stop imagining Arsene as Professor Farnsworth announcing this to the squad with “GOOD NEWS, Everyone!”.

I\'ve seen us win 10 FA Cups

Arsene: “Where’s Alexis?”

Bould: “Didn’t you tell him it’s time to come out of that chamber”

Arsene: “Mais non! I told you to tell him to exit the chamber!”

Bould: “Fahk”

Arsene: “Merde”

TexasGooner6

Is it April 1st? Total darkness to improve peripheral vision. If that’s true wow.

Bruno49

why dont the players just have wank after training?!

Bruno49

a wank*

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