Andre Santos may travel by rainbow, but all too often his final destination has been the naughty step.
Given a smacked bottom and a lengthy ban for his maniacal driving exploits at the beginning of the season, the Brazilian has been handed a second dressing-down by Arsene Wenger after Saturday’s Old Trafford half-time-shirt-swapping incident-extraordinaire with the Dutch scrotum.
Santos’ reaction, a wise one given the hubbub, has been to apologise not just to the boss but also to the fans.
“Robin’s departure to United did not turn him into an enemy for me,” he told The Sun.
“We remain friends and he talked about exchanging shirts, which is something players do all the time.
“Did I think it would cause such a commotion? Of course I didn’t, otherwise I would have told Robin to exchange shirts away from public view. That’s why I’d like to apologise to supporters who felt aggrieved by it.
“I just want people to understand he is my friend and I wouldn’t treat him differently because of the move to United.
“He approached me at half-time and at the time I did not think it would create such an uproar. I would never refrain from saying ‘hi’ to a good friend.
“It surprised me that people latched on to a gesture that promotes friendship and fair play.
“Arsene Wenger had asked the supporters to show respect towards Robin, after all.”
Arseblog News was as unimpressed as anyone when our hungry hungry hippo decided to indulge the sweaty ballbag in half-time idle discourse and we were left aghast that he compounded the decision by accepting the cunny’s clammy rag. Alas, we think it’s about time a line was drawn under this.
A misguided friendship and cultural differences (not the Suarez type) may well have had a role to play in the confusion, but let’s be honest, if the Brazilian had bagged a hattrick in the first ten minutes, or just defended properly, we’d probably not care
too as much; after all, there haven’t been too many outraged United fans complaining about Van Persie’s behaviour…
The problem lies with Santos’ performances on the pitch. Exposed repeatedly by Schalke and then double-teamed by Valencia and Rafael on Saturday, it’s obvious that in Kieran Gibbs’ absence, opposition managers have marked out our left-flank as a defensive weak spot.
Santos’ qualities extend to stabby tackles, ball-skills in the final third, smiling, never-ending optimism and a childlike naivity most popularly expounded by fluffy kittens…not defending. We know this.
It’s therefore unsurprising that Arsene Wenger is looking to shuffle the pack this evening with Thomas Vermaelen potentially shifting out to the left and Laurent Koscielny and Per Mertesacker pairing up in the middle.
On the plus side for Andre he can now spend his evening with kit man Vic Akers learning how to rid Van Persie’s shirt of that repulsive eau de judas-skunk he insists on wearing.