Thursday, July 18, 2024

Wenger wants to become Highlander

Arsene Wenger says he’d like to become ‘immortal’ so he could remain Arsenal manager forever.

Setting himself up as a football management Connor MacLeod is a step into a brave new world for the Frenchman, because as everybody knows, there can be only one.

At some point he will sign a player called Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez and encounter a great foe, The Kurgan (possibly Jose Mourinho), until such time as The Quickening occurs.

Ok, so we’re making the assumption that Wenger would like to be this kind of ‘immortal’ as opposed to other forms of the undead. As a football addict, Vampirism wouldn’t suit him as many games take place in the daytime, not the ideal scenario when you melt in the sunshine. Nor do we see him as a shuffling zombie, feasting on brains.

At a stretch we could see him as a skeleton from a Scooby-Doo episode, but in the end they all turn out to be fakers who would have gotten away with it etc etc.

Speaking at his press conference today, the Arsenal manager responded to Stan Kroenke’s praise of him, and said, in a strange mix of a French-Scottish accent, “Honestly, I would love to be here forever because that would mean I would be immortal!

“I want it even more. I think the good thing about football is that it’s unpredictable and the next game is always a discovery and a new adventure and so you focus on that. All the rest is decoration.

“What is important is that you feel you can do your job where you are and I’m very grateful to this club because during the 17 years we’ve had ups and downs, but they have always shown a big faith in me and they always let me do the job like I thought it had to be done.

“If I’m still here today it’s because I got that consistent support from inside the club. I always thought that this club is special and in our job it’s important to know what you want and I rated the qualities that this club has always shown.”

At which point the press conference was broken up The Shpaniard before both men disappeared in a flash of lightning. We don’t know what it was but suspect it’s a kind of magic.

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Zorro in the box

There can be only one!

TomJ

It’s better to burn out, than to fade away….!

dustwolf

There is only one…

… Arsene Wenger

'desi'gner gooner

That was a very good read….thanks for the link……
And yeah just for the record…In Arsene We Trust.

dutchgooner

dat photoshop

anj_gooner

Pic is hilarious

GeeFive

My son just asked me why I’m laughing like a moron at my netbook screen. LOL. Good job Blogs.

Red Cannon

It’s a kind of magic. …Heh.

The fool of a Took

*Immediately starts snapping fingers in a rhythm*

Merlin's Panini

*immediately leaves the room*

Arsenal-induced Heart Attack Survivor

This guy deserves a huge statue outside the Ems. Or, a tiny stadium can be made next to his statue with the gaffer pondering over it.

Rufusstan

Shpaniard — classic.

Downside is I’m going to be doing crappy impersonations all day.

Actually that isn’t a downside at all, for me at least 🙂

notamerican

When Wenger leaves…..if Wenger leaves….were Wenger to leave……..

Nope can’t bring myself to it. *sob

In Arsene I fully fookin trust…

Jgrant

Sign da ting!

C

Please don’t bring that back.

Arsenal-induced Heart Attack Survivor

Title too far for Arsenal –
Redknapp

Now we can start the title-winning celebratory preparations.

AP

Not yet, we also need AVB’s stamp of spiral approval.

Double Canister

Aren’t we still in the ‘negative spiral’?

gunner

You don’t owe these people anymore. You’ve given them everything

Wenger: Not everything. Not yet.

Merlin's Panini

I just watched that for the first time today!

Pete

What is it from?

Arsenal-induced Heart Attack Survivor

The Dark Knight Rises. A Nolan-Zimmer masterpiece.

Gooner of Navarone

I just saw movie again! Top, top comment.

Adeel

damn, if wenger signs da ting he’ll be like a new signing!

fvb

Stay on Arsene, after a difficult few years it’s time to start reaping the rewards that the stadium was built for. He has earned a title challenge or three with the increased resources at his disposal.

Roitenak

Photoshop level :

The only Olivier is Giroud

11 (Spinal tap AND Ozil referance)

manu petits left peg

….best Photoshop of all time.

Double Canister

TGPSTEL

paddlejack

Don’t lose your head Arsene…

The only Olivier is Giroud

Bloody hell… hard to imagine an Arsenal without Wenger. Support the Club, not the man and all… but still. I can’t imagine a “manager’s respone” in the post match stuff without AW’s little sayings like “lacked a little bit of quality” or “mental strength”. Long live AW!

rooney's-satanic headband

That photo shop is of top top quality. It can add value to what we already have but at the moment, it’s not the only one we are looking at….

Naija Gunner

Top top magic…

Gooneropolis

Monsieur Wenger would be a top, top, top signing.

Clock End Mike

Great blog, well done, er… Blogs 😉

TGSTEL

He looks like Captain Janeway lol, we love u Arsene!

Amusa

I love Arsene Wenger.

paris

LOL Fantastic article, made me laugh as with some of the comments. Let’s get playing without the handbrake: ohh hang on i have found this for you guys….ENJOY. Roll on the best of Wenger & Fergy Ah the nostalgia… “Intelligence! They say he’s an intelligent man, right? Speaks five languages. I’ve got a 15-year-old boy from the Ivory Coast who speaks five languages.” Ferguson refused to buy into Arsene as Le Professeur from the moment he arrived in 1996. “He’s a novice and should keep his opinions to Japanese football.” The Scot continued his diatribe into the following year as… Read more »

paris

Let’s get the ruthless streak back without the hanndbrake please

Mondaylee

Sign da thing Arsene. Arsene and Arsenal are a marriage made in heaven. It’s no coincidence that his name is synonymous to Arsenal. We love you Arsene!!!

Dickie

I always imagined Wenger as more of a Lich or some other type of undead wizard

Rectum Spectrum

how spoilt we are having one of the greatest mangers in sport govern our club for 17 years.

Neth

I used to love that show!! They should blast out the queen track at the stadium!

New Haven Gooner

If we win the league this year, I’m going to dress up like Highlander for the entire summer and only speak in a Scottish accent.

ryo fan

Will we be signing Pires as emergency back up? He looks cool giving advice to Ozil.

New Haven Gooner

To be fair, Pires looks cool doing just about anything.

masterofthegoonaverse

I saw a chap on the central line today who was an absolute ringer for Bob,even down to an oh so casual scarf, I swooned and got off because it was truly overwhelming.

Fatgooner

Oh, dear! So much misplaced optimism. Giving Wenger a new contract would be a massive mistake by Kroenke. Here’s why: 1. He is 63 and at the age when he should be winding down. His health could go at any time. 2. We have won nothing for eight years. 3. Despite the signing of Ozil, Wenger has made some horrible mistakes in the transfer market recently. 4. Wenger’s wage structure has cost the club a fortune on dross like Bendtner, Park, Almunia etc. 5. There are better managers out there. 6. Wenger’s 7.5 million quid salary is far to high.… Read more »

westcoastgooner

I wish I could thumbs down this many more times than once.

Rufusstan

Now thats the Fatgooner we all know and love. An alternative view: 1). While no one knows the future, 63 isn’t old if you are healthy and in a job you love (and remember people are not going to be able to retire until 68 soon — financially at least). Oh, and Old Red Nose won 5 titles above the age of 63. 2). Old Chestnut, if you happy to ignore the reasons why we have not won anything for 8 years (and the fact that this season has been marked as the turning point for years), then how do… Read more »

Cygan's Magical Left Foot

Oh FG you broke few kids heart and some old anti change older men here. How can you try to reason and show them this man has won NOTHING for 8 years and only got us 4th with 60 million more spending than the Spuds. They will answer you just like the Spuds do, we have no money, City and Chelsea destroyed football, then go lose to the like of Brimms final, Bradford Semi and Blackburn at home and blame it all in City and Chelsea!!!!. How can you reason with some here saying Arsene is like my father and… Read more »

Garbandier

this defies belief – besides the barely creditable ignorance behind the reasons you give (as illustrated by rufusstan) – it’s the naivete that really strikes me. The idea that there are managers out there who would waltz through the door and immediately win the double – fuck it and the champions league – is just deranged. Look at chelsea, city, psg, real, fucking anzhi makhachkala – you can buy some success (at humongous cost) if you sell your soul but actually did they buy more than we had before we had a band spanking new world class stadium to pay… Read more »

Black Hei

Fatgooner, there is nothing wrong with criticisms, it is the timing that is just silly. Having a contract extension does not mean a manager cannot be sacked. I think if he finishes outside CL for 2 seasons you think Stan wouldn’t sack him? I mean no CL, means no $$ and an unhappy American. But more importantly, now that Wenger’s contract is expiring, what we cannot allow is for the players to STOP playing for the coach. We saw what happened to United when Fergie announced his retirement midway back in 2002. The players stopped responding and that season was… Read more »

masterofthegoonaverse

Adrian Durham has just completely slaughtered sperz on Talkshite. Things like, no meaningful success in our lifetimes,rubbish ground,never in champ league, a selling club, hilarious, shall we call off the fatwah?

Merlin's Panini

No cos he’s still a provocative shock jock douche bag and a total cunt. Everything he says is just to wind someone up. His arguments are full of holes yet when these holes are pointed out he just talks over people and cuts them off. He’s a real piece of shit and always will be, even if I do like a good sp*rs slagging.

NorthernGoon

Fatgooner – what are you doing trying to be logical on here?

What id like to know is where were all the these lot after the Villa game? They certainly weren’t singing his praises then.

Fatgooner

That’s because they all have very short memories.

I am delighted at the start we’ve made to the season, but let’s get real: we’ve only played one really decent side, Spurs, and just nicked it 1-0. Realistically, a top-four finish and CL quarter-finals is all that we’ll achieve. To move on to that next level we need a modern, younger manager who will spend the tranfer and wage budgets properly.

Wenger is the past. We need the future.

jäck jäck jäck

Dearest Fatty, what are you whinging about now? Dear me. I just worry that you’ve invested so much of your own personality in the fact that Wenger is a crap manager that you might go completely insane if he wins a trophy now. What would you do? Where would you go? What could you say? Your entire worldview would come crashing down. We just spent £42m on a player, so tight-fistedness is no longer a stick you can beat Arsene with. Tactically, Arsene can go toe to toe with anyone in the world. Our teams can consistently over-performed – on… Read more »

NorthernGoon

Before everyone goes crazy at Fatgooner (again) think about what he’s saying. While I don’t agree with him on all points he certainly has a point to make. Only a few games ago everyone that supports Arsenal Football Club and not Arsene Wenger was calling for his head due to a miserable start to the season and a complete lack of activity in the transfer window. We – I think – still have the smallest squad in the EPL and while the signing of Flamini and Ozil are excellent signings things weren’t handled in the best way, no reasonable person… Read more »

North Bank Gooner

I wasn’t, and while there were many knee jerkers spouting a load of balls, there were many who chose not to post, as if you disagree with the “Wenger out” brigade, you get the stock “AKB Arsene apologist” crap to deal with. I personally have better things to do with my life than spend hours writing justifications to divvies that aren’t capable of understanding a point of view that isn’t theirs. Fats is entitled to an opinion. We are entitled to disagree. If people dont like what he wrote they can thumb down. Or write a reasonable response as a… Read more »

jäck jäck jäck

What a load of bollocks NorthernGoon. I’ve consistently been behind our manager the whole time (as have many of my gooner mates), even after Villa, and you can search through for my username if that’s what you wish to spend your time doing. That doesn’t mean that I think he can do no wrong or anything like that, it just means I didn’t buy the ‘Wenger is deluded’, ‘Wenger has lost it, ‘He doesn’t know what he’s doing’ rubbish – he is still no doubt a great, great manager. I said at the time that summer transfer business had been… Read more »

Fatgooner

Jack, I ask the question again: can we do better than Wenger? You say finishing top-four on a limited budget is fantastic – but what about getting to the Champions’ League final like B. Dortmund did on a limited budget? That’s what Klopp did – not long after he saw off a much richer club called Bayern Munich to win the Bundersleige. All those like you who think that Wenger has done such a great job over the last few years are conveniently ignoring the facts. With our massive wage budget and resources a fourth place finish is par for… Read more »

jäck jäck jäck

Riiiight. http://www.sportingintelligence.com/2011/08/12/arsenals-net-spending-of-48m-in-a-decade-puts-them-9th-in-premier-league-120802/ The teams above us in the league, and a fair few below us, have spent far, far more on transfers since we moved to the Emirates. Wenger built a fantastic team in 07-08 on that limited budget that really should have won something that year. Then we lost the core of that team: Rosicky and Eduardo to injury; Flamini and Hleb leaving for other clubs. We had continual injuries to talents like Van Persie, we lost Fabregas and Nasri in one year, lost Van Persie and Song the next – do you have any idea how difficult it… Read more »

Rufusstan

Funnily enough I was on here telling everyone to relax, breathe, don’t over-react.

Was pointing out how utterly shit the ref had been and how he’d basically stolen the game out from under us.

(And yes the posts are there in the match review and similar threads).

masterofthegoonaverse

Absolutely correct. The Villa game was totally ruined by the ref,at least 2 game changing decisions. I was watching in Paphos and two Tots were in the bar singing the refs praises, cunts.

FourMinuteSmiler

Arsene Wenger’s kind of magic, he wears a kind of magic hat …

santori

Funny comments about Wenger being over the hill as he has yet again defied the critics and pulled out a transfer coup. Where many grey cell challenged were bleating on about the shift in power in North London and Spurs buying spree, how quickly in one swoop has Wenger exposed their follies as Great Pretenders, close but no cigar. Where many tired to the old cliche that we would start slow again, well here we are leading the challenge from the top after 5 games in. Whilst many were globetrotting trying to snap up young players to meet Home Grown,… Read more »

DangerMouse

Nicely said Santori. Fatgooners still pissed off that his whole Summer’s argument that Arsenal and Wenger were incapable and unwilling to spend big money on a player got blown to bits after the Ozil deal.

Jason

Arsene wenger alreay has picked a successor it’s some Manager that coaches in japan. Arsene wenger has already done a interview about him their friends they love to meet up ones a year an talk tactics they both have a similar philosopher is football especially in attacking football. Sorry can’t remember his name tho.

Jason

I think but not sure that’s it’s Nagoya grampus coach dragon stojkovic.

weedwacker

I’m going to throw this into the mix. Sir Chip was the best signing of the summer. Something has changed. There is ambition, there is transparency and there is genuine hope. With the right mix of players Arsene is the best manager in the world. He just needs someone to give him a kick up the arse occasionally and back him all the way.

Bombay Gunner

The cunts and the cunts dropped points. So painful watching them. It lands up confusing me who I should be rooting for. I guess 1-1 is best for us.

Now lets go and extend our lead on the tops.

Damn cunts, left me with a headache.

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