Friday, March 1, 2024

FA Community Shield — Arsenal 1-0 Chelsea: By the Numbers

1 – Goals scored by Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
117 – Appearances by AOC for Arsenal
13 – Career goals for Arsenal by AOC
12 – Number of those career goals AOC has scored at the Emirates Stadium
2 – Number of dribbles Ox made today
2 – Number of those dribbles which Ox made going from his right to his left
81 – Percent of AOC’s shots last season which he took with his right foot (26/32)
1 – Goals scored with his left foot in the Community Shield today!
100 – Percent chance that AOC worked on his left foot this summer

10 – Touches by Theo Walcott in 65 minutes
14,000 – Amount in pounds sterling Arsenal paid for each of those touches
3 – unsuccessful touches by Theo Walcott
1 – successful dribbles by  Theo
5 – Passes by Theo
1 – Shot by Theo (header, saved)
1 – Assist by Theo
1 – Number of those “yeah but Theo makes runs which opens up space for his teammates” runs that Theo made, which Cazorla then passed into the space that Theo made, but he wanted Theo to be in that space and he wasn’t, because he made a run because he runs around a bit.
1 –Aerial Duels won by Walcott
65 – Minutes Theo played
3 – Shots by Arsenal when Theo Walcott was on the pitch

17 – Touches by Olivier Giroud
25 – Minutes OG played today
3 – Shots by Giroud
1 – Aerial Duels won by Giroud
1 – Unsuccessful touch by Giroud
1 – Dispossessed
2 – Clearances by Giroud!
10 – Passes by Giroud
8 – Number of shots Arsenal took when Giroud was on the pitch

10 – Touches by Loic Remy
0 – Shots by Loic Remy
4 – Offsides by Loic Remy
6 – Passes by Loic Remy
1 – Giant Remy-shaped bullet Arsenal dodged by not signing him because he’s garbage legs

27 – Touches by Falcao
19 – Passes by Falcao
2 – Shots by Falcao
1 – Shot to Arteta’s face with his elbow by Falcao
3 – Number of teams that Falcao has now duped into thinking he’s even half the player he was at Atletico Madrid
14 – Pounds Sterling, in millions, that Falcao makes every season
10,000 – Pounds Sterling that Chelsea paid Falcao for each touch in this game

2 – Top quality saves by Cech
1 – Save on a free kick which was going into the top corner, would Ospina have gotten that?
3 – Accurate long balls (out of 25, why did he keep kicking it long to Theo Walcott? That was weird)

6 – FA Community Shield victories by Arsene Wenger
1 – FA Community Shield victories by Jose Mourinho (2005)
6 – FA Cup victories by Arsene Wenger
1 – FA Cup victory by Jose Mourinho (2006-07)
3 – Premier League Titles won by each of Mourinho and Wenger
18 – Arsenal player’s hands Mourinho shook, making a huge scene out of congratulating all the Arsenal players on their victory by standing in front of the cameras, as the Arsenal players went down to the field to raise the trophy for their fans
1 – Wenger ducking out of line so that he didn’t have to fist bump Jose Mourinho in the face for being such a lout
1 – Losers medal that Jose Mourinho threw back into the stands on his way to the shower
6 – Number of fingers Jose held up at Roman Abramovich, counting the trophies he’d won for Chelsea, when he was collecting his winner’s medal for the FA Cup in 2007 proving that he is the only human being on the planet who would count the Charity Shield on the same hand as the Premier League title


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Look, Wenger is an absolute boss. That’s all.


Does anybody know why Hazard wasn’t playing today?

captain gooner

Maybe he’s still stucked in airport at belgium whoops.


Found a new home.. feels too nice to leave. Missed a game.

Address : Koscielny’s Pocket.


Got one hell of a strike force in that pocket…..Suarez, Aguero & Hazard

captain gooner

You forgot one thing. There’s only ONE massive cunt, mourinho.


This is true. Terry is not a massive cunt, he is a gargantuan cunt.


King Kunt


Nope. Sorry, ‘gargantuan cunt’ is better. I just thought there was a potential giant monster/King Kong style reference possibility that enhances Jose’s cuntability in there. I failed.



… nope. Too niche, no flow.

I’ll get me coat… (sigh)


there’s lots of cunts, but (in my opinion) Jose just edges past Michael Owen as the cuntiest cunt there ever was. nobody is cuntier than Mourinho.

Danger Mouse

Wengers snubbing of Mourinho at the end is one of the most lovely life affirming things I’ve seen in football. Made me feel all warm inside.


1 – of many

Artetas tooth

419 the number of times hazard tried to creep out of hector bellerins pocket

Arse Sutra

200- % sure that number of people attending Jose’s funeral will be less than the number of trophies he will win in his career..


Not gonna lie, I don’t like how this is written to kind of put in evidence how supposedly Giroud is a better CF than Walcott. Sure Theo had a poor game today but I don’t think it’s the kind of game that fits him. He has some limits indeed which teams like Chelsea can counter very well. But Giroud is even more limited in his ability to score goals on his own, run with the ball at his feet and pass players.


A game were we played the Champions of England and arguably one of the best teams Chelsea have had in a long time is not the kind of game Theo Walcott should be playing in…. that doesnt paint a pretty picture of the forward who wants to lead the line.


You’re right. They should only play centre forward against teams that are already on the beach as that way his ability to stand exactly where he can’t be passed to might not be noticed for another ten years.


The thing is, in the past I think Walcott has been one of our best performers against Chelsea. And in those games he’s been a winger. I’m certainly not saying he was awful today, but had he played on the wing I feel he’d have been far more effective. Great player, fantastic winger, decent striker – personally I think that sums him up, but that’s just my opinion and I respect opposing views to that. I do feel if he just settled for a role as a winger he could become Robben-esque, still scoring the 20goals a season he craves… Read more »


* Robben-esque but without the diving like a hobo lunging for a tab end thats about to roll into a puddle, kinda diving.


Walcott has a far better record against big teams and Chelsea specifically, what the hell are you on about? Theo needs space, and Chelsea doesn’t give you any space. They have a defensive line that sits very deep and strong and tall defensive players starting from Matic. Walcott would be a better CF than Giroud in most scenarios.


Well its a jolly good job we’ve got the both of them then hey? I don’t understand this idea that some people seem to have about it being one or the other, when it seems to me that we’re doing pretty well with both, whether one from the bench or Theo on the wing and Giroud in the middle.


I think Walcott keeps wingbacks in their place. They cannot afford to play a high line against him, and now we’ve got the OX


He wasn’t involved the play too much but he served his purpose for me. Chelsea played very deep knowing that Theo’s pace could hurt them if Santi and Ozil started spraying through-balls in behind. He gives us a different approach to Giroud at CF. It is hard to predict how it would have panned out if Ollie started. We may have not been able to advance as up the field as we did with such ease if Terry and Cahill pressed Giroud higher up the field, or we may still have advanced and used Giroud’s great hold-up ability to carve… Read more »


We’re paying him £140k a week. This is exactly the sort of game he should be suited to for that kind of dough….having said that, I think he should get a bit of a run. I like OG, but we know what he can & cannot do.

Benzema? No thanks….


That’s very true. Giroud and Walcott are very different kinds of strikers. The team, especially Cech kept playing as if that was Giroud on the pitch for the first 65 minutes. Walcott shouldn’t have started this game! Walcott can’t head the ball or out muscles defenders to save his life.


Yeah, really the wrong note regarding Walcott.

It’s was Wengers decision and an odd one…it was obvious Walcott would get little to no space behind the defense. Nonetheless, he provided the assist for the winning goal. Instead if snark about how much each of Walcott’s touches cost….what about the alternative view that a week of Walcott’s wages lead to a second Charity Shield win in a row, this one against Chelsea.

Seems like a bargain to me.


1- more monkey off our back. Get in lads! Year of the Ox!

lovely arse

What a tit.


Some strikers will have very few touches and still give that decisive goal, while some will have plenty touches and spill several chances. Just saying.


Honestly I think both Walcott and Giroud are very good at CF roles and just play totally different: Walcott is just a very efficient footballer – with only 10 touches he manages to get the assist and a half-chance. He’s normally also very clinical in front of the goal. But he disappears in games often, so he’ll never be leading in possession stats. Giroud on the other hand works a lot with link up play and gets into dangerous position – but in general also isn’t the most efficient of finishers (yet). Of course he also offers a bit more… Read more »


you couldn’t have said it any better. they are both good players who bring different dynamism to our style of play and can work against defences that dont suit either of them. i don’t get why people slate giroud. he adds that bit of quality strikers need in this modern football. and yes, we cant deny he is getting better with his finishing
Good times looming


You nailed it AlbZ. Our dribbling out from the back was horrendous today. If Santi were on his game like he was against City, Walcott would have been far more dangerous. Playing a ball into Walcott to hold up has never and will never be his strength. On the other hand, running in behind is his forte.


is it just me, or was the coq absolute in marking and even more spectacular with his passes…. that guy would be in the first team of any club there is now

PS: bosscielny was just awesome (MOTM for me). monreal was definitely surreal today and looks like the shadow of himself few years ago. the whole 14 players on the pitch played well today, but to me, these three mentioned were brilliantly awesome


I actually thought Coquelin had an ok game today, nothing more. Got caught on the ball a few times and wasn’t as sharp as he usually is with interceptions and tackling (made 4 fouls, 1 of them led to Oscar’s free kick). But overall decent game for him with 3 interceptions, 1 tackle and creative passing (the pass to Ozil).


He hasn’t aged well our José


Some things I learned, and notions that have been enhanced, by this weekend: • What a difference a world class keeper makes! I’m a fan of Szczpina, but now we’re a real force. Cech never switches off, which made our defence seem confident and comfortable all game. Whilst Courtois may well improve further, right now I don’t care, because all I want is Cech. • Chelsea are scared of Arsenal, and that’s not even up for debate. • Roy Keane is a contender for ‘Biggest Douche in the Universe’. • Michael Owen is set to compete for the aforementioned award.… Read more »


Meltdown video, that must be Moanrine’s alter ego…… desperate..

Why do you ask my name? It is beyond understanding

3 – Pre-season trophies Arsenal have won
0 – Pre-season trophies Chelsea have won
1 – Absent Arsenal player of the season 14-15
1 – Present but nullified Chelsea player of the season 14-15


1 – Good
0 – Evil


Ask any coach in the world about having an offensive player like ox in his starting xi. you’ll find the answer universal. YES PLEASE

built for the game, powerful yet agile with dodgy feet and a ton of pace then when you think he’s done. he goes and does that.

he has worked his balls off to break into the team, an injury free season will see recognise his full potential as one of the best young players of the world.

Stringer Bell

Listened to talk shite on way back from pub, they were praising the special cunt for shaking hands with Arsenal players. That’s what he does and the cunts fall for it every time. When they got done in the cup at home, think it was Bradford, 4-2 he went in their changing room and shook all their hands so motd ended up praising him, can you imagine if we had got done 4-2 at home to Bradford. They would have been after wenger like that sick cunt Walter Palmer went after Cecil the lion, hope he is enjoying his karma… Read more »


4-The number of games against top teams that Arsenal won in 2015. City, Utd, Lpool, and Chelsea.
Arsene cannot beat title rivals they say but in 2015 alone, we have beaten all of them. Wenger out!
Mou on Friday, if I were wenger, I will find a solution to his inability to beat me. And then he found the solution just 2 days later.
Mou on Sunday, they did not come to play and the best team lost. Poor old grumpy Mou, best teams don’t lose games.


I do have to say, Mourinho was right when he said that the defensive team won today, because anything having to do with Jose is offensive.


Regarding Giroud v. Walcott, Giroud I imagine is better at hot sex, but Walcott seems like a more considerate lover. Personally, I prefer someone who will take my needs into consideration as well. And that really is the final verdict on this matter.


he had to say something funny after losing @mou … thumps up gunners…


kos is always there… he tried to keep those guys at bay more credit to coquellin for his aggressiveness


So if we paid 14 grand for each of Theo’s touches, does the assist come for free?


Way mert organised the defence and his communication reminded me of Tony adams

Ritesh bhatt

alexis and hazard had the same impact on yesterday’s match.


too much mockery to hazard… but l think the best way to put it is… hazard was matched by bellerin….. magic vs Santo….cesc vs VIERAcoq


Number of times Wenger has won the Champions League or any other European trophy – 0
Number of time Wenger has defended a PL title – 0
Number of times Wenger has been embarrassed in a big game – lost count lol

Wenger out!

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