Thursday, April 25, 2024

Flamini: we are the gladiators of our time

Mathieu Flamini says that footballers are the gladiators of the modern era – ready to do armed combat with an opponent as the colosseum filled with spectators looks on, demanding blood and evisceration.

The Frenchman was speaking to the Financial Times about his life on the pitch, and off, as his company which is going to save the world increases its profile.

It came to light earlier this year that Flamini had spent spent the last seven years setting up a company in Italy, GF Biochemical, that is the first in the world to mass produce Levulinic Acid; a substance that can apparently replace oil in all its forms.

Speaking to the FT about his persona, he said he was a different person on the pitch than off it.

“I’m quite calm off the pitch,” he said, ignoring his playboy ways involving princesses, Taylor Swift, and speedboats, “but on the pitch I transform myself.

“I become sometimes aggressive – in a good way. It’s kind of transcendent, you know? I consider us the gladiators of our time.

“When you’re on the pitch it’s him or you – and I would prefer it to him than me.”

The new company is still secondary to his football career, with Flamini admitting he still ‘eats football’ (or probably just eats footballs), and also says Arsene Wenger has been an influence on him.

“Arsene is kind of mentor to me,” he continued. “He is someone who will always keep his clam calm, and I have learnt from him never to take a decision in the heat of the moment.”

Apart from tackling Lionel Messi 40 seconds after coming on, but hey, these things happen, and we’d be well advised to keep Flamini on side when he becomes the most powerful man on earth.

In 2009 he spoke publicly about an incident in which he was short-changed in a restaurant.

“My name is Mattimus Decimus Flaminus, commander of the Armies of North London, General of the Gunner Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Wengerus Aurelius. Father to a monobrowed son, husband to a slightly fey German. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”

He means business, in business and football and in business.

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Arsene loves his clam 🙂


Shellfish bastard

Third Plebeian

Because of all those mussel injuries.

Daft Aider

No matter how crabby things got, we at least got one over the spuds

lula da gilberto

Well we knew in February that a few dropped points and Leicester would scallop away with it.


If it looks like a crab, and walks like a crab….it’s probably a fucking crab.

Bould's Eyeliner

c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker.

Door’s that way.


10/10 for Boulds Eyeliners Killer Instinct Reference


tastes like crab, walk like people

lula da gilberto

We can only hope. With four senior players leaving, our squad is shrimping quite alarmingly.

Ted E.

nah, we’ll be whaling by the time the transfer window closes


We will just have to wait and sea how this goes. Can’t wait for all the website to drown on about how Arsenal need to buy and it’s sink or swim time for Mr. Wenger.


Excellent…no need for a fish’s tit….me thinks. ..could be wrong…


So many days have conpoy since we shelled out some squids in the transfer market.


He’ll keep his clam but not his Flam.


“loyal servant to the true emperor, Wengerus Aurelius” hahaha cracked me up real good. Excellent stuff


He didn’t tackle Messi though, that was the problem.


Sorry old chap.


I think i’m still laughing from Sunday because I found “husband to a slightly fey German” absolutely hilarious, well played.

Spurs hahahahhahahaa

Arseblog at his fine best

Arsene Wenger's Coat Zipper

Arseblog’s a guy?

Martin Finley

Hope he buys the club when his business start booming. Even funnier his product will put the Oil sheiks out of business. So thats a few rivals taken out of comission right there 😛

the only sam is nelson

You should be able to read the full FT piece here

Super Joshi

I can’t believe you guys are able to write news pieces. Most of us haven’t stopped laughing yet. Iv’e been useless.

Super Joshi

to the point where I put the ‘ in the wrong place. #blameitonsp*rs


Frankly, I couldn’t give a stuff about finishing above Spurs.

So, for the 21st successive year we’ve managed to be better in the league than a bunch of third-rate wankers who have considerably less resources than us? Who cares?

The real story about this season is that we’ve get again bottled it when it desperately mattered. At Christmas we were top of the table; we ended up TEN POINTS BEHIND LEICESTER. That’s a scandal.

But don’t worry: we’ll be doing this all again next season.

glory hunter

Cmon Fats, everyone knows its been a disastrous season
But im sure you were happy when we beat Man Utd at home
Likewise when we beat Leicester with that last min goal
Or even the 2-1 victory over Man City at the Emirates
None of those things mean we had a good season, but im sure they made you happy at the time.
Likewise finishing above Spurs, doesnt make it a good season but it makes us happy. At the end of the day its only football

Arsene-al fan

Who cares we finished above Spurs? And in 2nd place (having been 4th then 3rd the previous two seasons)?

Arsenal fans.

Arsene-al fan

And if 10 points is a ‘scandal’ then how do you describe 15 points (Man U) or 31 points (Chelsea) behind Leicester?


Fair point.

When are you ever happy Mr. FatGooner?
Would you be happy if we signed every player on your wish list and won the league next season under Arsene? Or would you still be perennially peeved off that we still had Wenger?

In all seriousness I’m starting to worry for your health…permanent unhappiness isn’t a good thing…


I’ll be happy when we fulfil our potential and win the Premier League or the Champions League. Or both.


What’s the point in watching a game where the finest margins can define a game, cause excitement and generally make football what it is if the only outcome is us winning?

That’s like playing a video game with the cheats on, just to win?

Petits Handbag

Sorry Fatgooner, I didn’t get that pun at all. Tuna in to the trend mate.


Ladies and gentlemen, I have a conspiracy theory to propose…Fat gooner is Peirs Morgan!!!


Peirs Morgan says a lot of sensible things about Wenger. Even though he is a knob.


And there’s Fatgooner, jumping the shark. Fishing for some responses. I probably shad not respond, but I haddock say something……


He admits!!!!!!


Managing to be better in the league than a bunch of third rate wankers with considerably less resources than us is significantly preferable to managing to be worse in the league than a bunch of third rate wankers with considerably less resources than us. Plus the manner of it was the funniest thing ever. Nobody said it was the be all and end all, but when you’ve already spent three months making your peace with another disappointing league season, it provided a hilarious tonic. Most Arsenal supporters and, I dare say, even most Tottenham supporters understand this.

Indian Gooner

Flamini to save the world next.


Funny editorial touch 🙂


Shouldn’t you link to the original FT interview? It’s the best practice, and you almost always follow it..

A Gorilla

Chill out mate, it’s a paid site


One that I (and hundreds of thousands of others) subscribe to, and the fact that they have a paywall (which, unlike the Times’, allows a few free articles) doesn’t mean they don’t deserve proper attribution for their journalism. Arseblogger is normally very fastidious in this regard, always gives due credit, hence why I was checking.


Isn’t it GF Biochemical? Your resident “Get the company name correct” Nazi.


Thank you ! We are entertained! 😀


Is this not why you are here?


Rather then mincing around with levulinic acid, he needs to put his company to work on something useful : Cloning. He can start with Adams, work his way through the 98 team, and throw in Henry, Campbell and Pires.

World Saver

I saved the world once. It really wasn’t worth it.

Yanno, to be a gooner and that

MMA fighters hold that title


Hahaha gladiators? I get the parallel he’s going for but for the most part footballers are a bunch of overpayed nancies although gotta credit Flamini for doing his best to break that stereotype. I think the Rugby and MMA and Ice Hockey guys are the gladiators because for the most part people go to watch them do their best to hurt each other.

There’s an interesting article about how football has taken over from the Church as the most important institution in most societies which I think is a far better (arguably less complementary…but that’s neither here nor there) parallel.

Fosk Goooc

Fuggy Crosse-Shawe surveyed his manor and all the lands he controlled therein. The German had made a fool out of Fuggy and now it was time for retribution. Fuggy’s only concern was the noise he kept hearing in his ear. It was a sort of Gallic wheezing, the noise of somebody permanently out of breath. But where was it coming from. It had followed him around all through the game. It seemed to come from that old man who was pointing at things. Now the German was saying something to Fuggy about his brother getting him. What was it with… Read more »


Excellent tribute I love the Flamster. He is mega especially at pointing. ..and defence. .. He is a Gonerby thru and thru..


Fucking spell check should read Gooner thru and thru. .


Great article, definitely funny, minus one homophobic sentence: husband to a slightly fey german.

Strongarm George

Hilarious, brilliant.

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