Wednesday, July 17, 2024

Report: Arsenal 2-1 Norwich City (inc goals)

Arsenal: Macey, Debuchy, Elneny, Holding, Nelson, Coquelin, Iwobi, Maitland-Niles, Wilshere, Walcott, Giroud

Subs: Iliev, Osei-Tutu, Sheaf, Dasilva, Willock, Nketiah, Akpom

Arsenal came from behind thanks to two Eddie Nketiah goals to beat Norwich 2-1 at the Emirates this evening.

Arsene Wenger made plenty of changes, interestingly deploying Alex Iwobi in central midfield alongside Francis Coquelin, with Jack Wilshere in the more advanced role he’s been playing in the Europa League this season.

The game began in cagey fashion, with both sides trading possession and it took 13 minutes for the first attempt on goal – Alex Iwobi curling a shot from outside the box over the bar.

A good move saw Ainsley Maitland-Niles break through the visitors defence, and while he could have had a shot on goal he decided to pull the ball back and saw it cleared. Elneny was next to try his luck, his shot from distance deflected over the bar, and from the resulting corner Norwich keeper Gunn made a superb save from a close range Rob Holding header.

The Gunners enjoyed most of the possession and territory, with Norwich sitting very deep, but as ever that proved a challenge – breaking down an 11 man rearguard is never easy.

Maitland-Niles took a pop from distance but it didn’t trouble the keeper too much, and despite all the possession Arsenal fell behind in the 34th minute. Maddison fed Murphy who got behind the Arsenal defence, before dinking the ball over the oncoming Matt Macey. 0-1.

Coquelin attempted to get Arsenal back on terms with a shot from outside the box, but it squirmed wide like a dog scooching along on it’s hole to get the last bit of a poo to detach from his arse.

The visitors almost extended their lead in the 39th minute after a nice move saw Oliviera shoot towards the far post, but Macey made a good save on the stretch. Walcott had a pop on target but his shot was saved well by the keeper, and another from distance was well watched by the Norwich stopper as the Canaries took the lead into the break.

There were no changes at the break and the first attempt at goal came from Iwobi but he skewed his shot miles wide and then got a talking to from the referee for trying to get the ball back from Zimmerman who dylan’t release it for a free kick.

There was a chance for Wilshere to shoot from inside the box but he took a touch and ended up seeing the chance snuffed out. Not long after that my stream died and I could only sit and ponder my own existence as the little loading thing went round and round and round but nothing loaded.

Then it came back without any change the scoreline and I had to ponder the existence of Walcott and Coquelin which hurt my brain. Elneny picked up a yellow which could easily have been a red as he hauled down Oliviera as the striker went through on goal, and from the play that stemmed from the free kick Macey had to be alert again to save from Murphy.

The Arsenal debut keeper made a smart intervention moments later, getting a hand to a low cross. Iwobi cracked a shot straight into the face of a defender, before Walcott was found offside for the nine-hundredth time in the game.

Then my stream went again and I wondered what if none of this is real? What it it is actually a computer simulation? It would explain so many things about this football club that we could blame on errant programmers who had eaten too many cheese biscuits.

Coquelin got a yellow card and Chuba Akpom came on to replace Maitland-Niles as the game entered its final 20 minutes, but it was Norwich who came closest as Murphy once again found himself in behind but he put the ball over the bar with just the keeper to beat. That was his last involvement as he was then taken off for some bloke called Stiepermann, a man with a name like a superhero whose powers make no sense to anyone.

At this point my stream more or less gave up. It would work for a couple of seconds, then just freeze and become useless, which was probably something you could apply to Arsenal too.

Then some kind people on Twitter gave me links to streams and I saw some of it but all of them had ads over the picture and every time I clicked some mad pop-ups happened and then they closed but then there was one I just couldn’t get rid of but it was good because I was able to win $20,000 instantly which was quite the bonus all things considered.

Wilshere got a yellow and Eddie Nketiah came on in the 85th minute for Reiss Nelson, and the substitute scored with his first touch after a corner fell to him in the area. 1-1.

Akpom picked up a yellow, as did some Norwich lad for a foul on Wilshere, and the England international almost rifled home the winner in the final minute only for a save from Gunn to deny him. The visitors brought on Hoolahan and some other bloke in injury time, and an Akpom effort was deflected wide but no corner was given.

1-1 after 9-0 minutes meant extra-time, and a good Holding block prevented danger in the Arsenal box, and a good save denied Walcott after the ball rebounded to him in the box. From the resulting corner though Nketiah rose high to plant a header into the top corner and to make it 2-1.

The crowd chanted ‘Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!’, as they rightly should have for Eddie is the light, the truth and the way. A Giroud effort was blocked and Akpom’s follow up was deflected wide, before Iwobi went down with cramp, and was replaced by Josh Dasilva.

Oliviera shot over as the first half of injury time came to a close, and in the second a dangerous Dasilva cross was put behind for a corner as Giroud looked to get in on the act.

Then my stream went again and I pondered the fact I have an early flight to Australia tomorrow and how I could have done without extra time but then I pondered the Emergence of Eddie and I was pleased because without Eddie there is nothing but a vast wasteland, an abyss into which the downtrodden and broken exist and I did not want to be there.

Norwich complained they didn’t get a penalty after a wanker fell down under a challenge from Debuchy, and Arsene Wenger brought on Joe Willock for Jack Wilshere with just 6 minutes to go. The 18 year old had a chance to trouble Gunn but shot over the bar, and Nketiah almost got his hat-trick in the final moments curling just over the bar.

Walcott was offside for the twelve-thousandth time but in the end the two goals from the youngster saw Arsenal into the fifth round.

What an impact. What a man. In Eddie we trust.

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Eddie, Eddie, Eddie…


i’ve never seen another youngster that scores so much goals as Nketiah atleast in arsenal . He seems to be at the right place at the right time every time .


He’s the player Arturo Lupoli wishes he could be.


that was so good you should say it again


Nketiah was marked out by Laca as Arsenal’s next big star along with Reiss. Today I could see why. The boy seems to have everything in his locker. And to make that big an impact at just 18. Unbelievable !


A tad OTT, don’t you think!!!

Faisal Narrage

Oi, Oi, Oi.


Who needs Mbappe when we have Nketiah! 😀


…in the membrane…


It’s ridiculous that even with Bt sports and sky tv, I was forced onto a stupid stream site that has infected my phone more ways than Jim Carey.

And meanwhile Sky show a crap game.


I never stream via phone, I reserve that level of aids for my desktop alone.

SB Still

He was just a thought in his parents mind when Wenger took over at Arsenal and British football to a whole new level!

I’m excited for the B team and their exploits in the Cup competitions this year.

lee dicks on

Spectacular match (report) blogs. Have a good flight.


What was the shirt number of the arsenal player named offside ?


I don’t know, which shirt number is walcott?


I think he beat the Adebayor record for offside in a single match today.


It’s another double barrelled one; Walcott-Offside


I see 14 upvotes. Guess we should stop there.


NKETIAH! That was fun.


Nketiah is on ?????


Giroud is a class act. He may have not been able to provide the magic tonight that we know he can. But he fights for every ball right till the end. This despite being fouled over and over and over again. A true arsenal player. COYG

Nasri Van Fabregas

I know who my new youngster of choice is going into training now in FIFA 18 career mode

my name is bob

Keep doing that for the rest of your career Nketiah, and you’ll become a fan favorite pretty quickly

A different George

By Saturday.

Toure motors

Woah woah nketiah we need you so


Our B team still unbeaten this season?

Kostas Greek Gooner

How the hell re we gonna make him a song with this name?

Niall Shannon

We’ll find a way 😉


Oh Eddie you’re so fine you’re so fine you own our minds hey Eddie, hey Eddie…?


I don’t like Eddie , ooooh noo
I LOVE HIIIIMM, dreadlock holiday


To the Tune of Boom Boom boom -Outhere Brothers N-Ke-tiah, let me hear you say Eddie…. Eddie! N-Ke-tiah, let me hear you say Eddie…. Eddie! Or Chelsea Dagger – The Fratellis (near the end of the song if goes) Eddie Eddie I believe when you’re scoring freely We’re so happy The boys in red pass it to your feet Then It’s one for the Arsenal and another for the fan’s who believe! du du duh, du du dah, du du du du du du dah! … I’m not sure if I have time to grab my coat if I’m gonna… Read more »


Fuck me, never knew I was pitching my songs to the X-Factor judges.

Three Steps Sideways

Join the discussion

Three Steps Sideways

Lol. My first comment in this thread is clearly not as meant. I think we should perhaps go a little left-field, something 80’s by Eddie Grant for instance.

”We going to rock down to Nketiah avenue (pause for effect) and then he’ll take us higher”.


Edd-ie-ee-ee N-ket-ya
Bow bow-bow bow-bow
Off the crossbar. Off the crossbar

Guess the tune. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Robert Pires

” Ed, Ed n Eddie,
He’s charged by Eveready,
Show them who’s the daddy. “


Eddie Nketiah
(to the tune of Fuck Off Mourinho)


Eddie, Eddie, Eddie! Oi Oi Oi!


I actually like this one, but I thumbed up before I realised that just because… Fuck off Mourinho!!!

Eddie Eddie Eddie

Try and score, like you did before
Sing a new song, Nketiah
Try and score, like you did before
Sing a new song, Nketiah

(Yeah, I know, it’s an ABBA song)


Eddies gonna-get-ya,
Eddie N-ke-tiah.
To this tune


Also, that match report was a thing of beauty.


In Eddie we trust

Obvious Pete

If you told me before the match Theo would be playing right wingback I would’ve shit my pants.


His crosses were a thing of pure stupidity. Even as a wingback he aint good

Obvious Pete

That’s like saying even as a goalkeeper he’s no good.. Well obviously. But he’s an attacker so I think you’re missing the point young man.

Kostas Greek Gooner

Well for me he is a winger and he SHOULD be able to cross, as well as dribble and generally do staff with the ball or without it.
However he is only able to push the ball in the net, IF he is unmarked.
I know his scores a lot of goals but I believe this is a misleading stat. When he is on the pitch ..oh boy…we suck and this is because of his minimum overall contribution.
Regarding your point? Every time he plays I shit my pants.


Its like saying his original job was to be an attacking midfielder , but god knows whatever he was doing . He was doing anything but that which is to be a threat near the the oppostion penalty box . But all he did was hug the touch like and cross , and even as an attacking midfielder the least you are supposed to know is how to cross . i’m not an expert or anything but isint that one of the basic things an attacking midfielder should know. And its not like his crosses were close to giroud ,… Read more »

Woolwich Shepherd

Theo. You would think that by now he would have learned to time his runs into the box.


I never saw such shite, except for Nketiah, DaSilva,Debuchy and Holding


Its so amazing that winning of this match covers the fact that arsenal were completely outplayed by a championship club . Up until the goal arsenal scored we didint create a single good chance. If we cant even play well against a championship team i dont know what the is wenger and bould is even doing

SB Still

I for one have been waiting for a good result from a poor performance. I’m tired of the opposite – it’s no fun when we dominate the opposition but they score with their first attempt and go on to win/draw the game.

Very pleased with the result and for the youngsters stepping up.

Kostas Greek Gooner

I am also pleased but what do you mean “the opposite”? Which is the opposite?
Everton aside we dont play well this season. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose but we consistently (so unArsenal word) have poor/mediocre performances.


Some miserable bastards are just never happy. We lose, we’re shit and the world is ending. We win, we’re still shit because it wasn’t pretty enough. We win by three goals, we’re even more shit because we didn’t win by more. Get over it. We won, for fucks sakes, WE WON.

We could go 38-0-0 with a +267 goal difference and win the Community Shield, FA Cup, Carabao Cup, Champions League, World Club Cup, and UEFA Super Cup, and people would still bitch and moan.




Sorry that I offended you! I jumped up in the air like a 5 year old when the kid scored and I was screaming like a girl at the second. I am a happy bastard. But honestly is this the Arsenal team of your dreams? In my humble opinion we under performing because of off field reasons and I will be consistent on that. Of course as a fan I am happy but I dont have a goldfish RAM 1 bite.


Eddie ‘Marlo Stansfield’ Nketiah.. Rules the corners. The future is his.

A different George

He does like Marlo. What we need, though, is Omar.


Game changed after akpom and nketiah came on. Way to show up the senior players, lads.

Niall Shannon

Glad you won $20,000 blogs 😉

Mate Kiddleton

Defs the most important thing to happen tonight

A different George

And I’m assuming the drinks are on you.


Loved the report – i will remember it as Arsenal as a frozen stream with dog poo


Eddie you can do it, you can do it rip his facking head off lol, and even though you look like your twelve yrs old you are my new hero…….



Right now, tonight….I wish I was Eddie Nketia.
Well done lad.

Eddie Eddie Eddie

Living the dream…


He’s rather good isn’t he?

Sully Taylor

Who took each corner?


unBeaten team.. Enjoyed Wengers panicked 3-1-6 formation


Awful performance.
We lacked any width.
Giroud and useless Walcott were far too static.
No support for Nelson or Niles when we could get them in the game.
Wilshere and Iwobi are far too similar and didn’t have any movement whatsoever in front of them.
Akpom gave us a bit more movement and Nketiah was electric when they came on.
Enjoyed extra time, not a criticism but that really is the definition of playing badly and winning.

A different George

Good God, give it a rest. It’s the Cowabunga Cup!

Teryima Adi

Cowabunga Cup indeed


I can always rely on you “rich” for great insight. Reading your comments are splendid.



Thank fuck for Eddy

Eddy in !

Christopher Wreh

Just imagine what the lad must have been feeling; 60,000 people chanting your name, cheering your every touch. That’s what football is about. EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE.

And it wasn’t just the goals! Absolutely loved him running into the corner at the end.

Also, I think I’m right in saying that he is the first player to score for us that was born after Wenger took over? Is that correct?

Andy Mack

I don’t remember the Norwich fans chanting eddie… but quite a few of the gooners were.

aleksandr help

great goals. dunno why he looked so angry celebrating the first one. great to see him crack a smile with the second, realise, then back to playing it cool ?


he wanted to come on earlier, to then come on and score with his 1st touch in less than 30 secs… Ballistic.. i was angry for him or with him.. when he flung willock away.. haha.. I see a drogba in this young man..


Never been prouder to be called Edward!! What a way for Marlo Stanfield’s firstborn to open his account.


Eddie was magnificent, Debuchy was good. Walcott and Coq are terrible footballers yet they are our longest serving players !!..We should stick with the line up that started against everton it’s our strongest XI bar Xhaka

Amaury Bischoff

Nketiah scored in the Nketiahm

Eddie Eddie Eddie

The goals were for our Edification

Lord Bendnter

hmm it’s been a real long time since I last heard the name Wes Hoolahan


… and yet… doesn’t seem like long enough

I\'m Professor Ignorance, on this subject

JeorgeBird looking particularly prescient after tonight’s game:

Average Joe

This was some dreadful performance, truly horrid in every single way. Below average I should say… The ref pulled us out of deep end twice at least, no vision, no concentration…

Good thing is that this Eddie kid looks better that Walcott a million times! Drop Walcott for good and give this dude a chance, at least he deserved that with keeping us in for a trophy tonight!


We were very poor especially first half and couldn’t find any rhythm or creativity. It was very frustrating to watch, especially being the home team. It seems they figured if we couldn’t play much better, then we would have to shine through with hard work and that showed. For all the lack of end product, I can’t fault the effort.

And… Enter Eddie Nketiah! Eddie Eddie EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE


Absolutely not Eddie Howe.

Man Manny

I knew it was going to be dodgy with that line up, but cometh the hour, cometh the boy (man).


Neaaaar, faaaaaar, N-Keeee-Ti-Aaaaaah


Terrific flick-on at the near post for the first goal


Regarding streaming. If you have an android phone nothing quite beats mobdro… Am I allowed to say that? Ach, moderate me if you will. Anyhoo, shit match but Eddie was readie and we won, just, against the mighty Canaries of 6th place in the league of championship. Fingers crossed we don’t bag the majesty of might they call Bristol City in the next round. Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Heinz Just Like Eddy

“Eddie is the light, the truth and the way”

bob davis

A great talent coming through the ranks. Just hope we avoid one of the big teams in the next round!


Everton away would be nice, if they can knock off Chel$ki.

Bob\'s Mexican Cousin

Walcott can be the most frustrating player to watch in the entire planet. Why is he captain over Giroud? He doesn’t have the quality nor the leadership skills required to be captain in my opinion. Then at least go with the guy who’s providing from the subs bench week in and week out.

Teryima Adi

Eddie Grant, Electric Avenue


Zimmermann…..dylan’t. Love it. Highlight of the night. Surely I’m not the only one who picked that up!


Eddie seems to think he’s a little too cool to celebrate with the team. But then they have no idea who he is, so why should he.


We must offer Eddie a vast, new contract. He is (and I don’t say this lightly) by far the best footballer who has ever lived, ever. I mean, ever! Totally ever!!!

Bellerin\'s Barnet

Please no more Mo Elneny at CB. Fine midfielder, not a defender.

Papa Emiritus

Ah thank god, a proper match report from someone at the game.
Some of the stuff McNulty of the BBC writes is more akin to WWE or Eastenders.

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