Sunday, April 21, 2024

UEFA can’t be arsed to ban Danny

We weren’t even aware that he was under investigation, but apparently, Danny Welbeck will not face any retrospective action from UEFA for the tumble he took against AC Milan that resulted in a penalty that he converted.

The controversial spot-kick made the score 1-1 in the second-leg after the Italians had threatened a comeback after taking the lead. Arsenal went on to win the tie 5-1 on aggregate and will now face CSKA Moscow in the quarter-finals.

Given that Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang is cup tied and Alex Lacazette is still working his way back from knee surgery, it’s just as well that Welbz is going to avoid a European suspension. No doubt the Russians will be quaking in their boots at Arsenal’s ability to con international officials, just like their dear leader.

It’s not all good news for Danny though, the National Association of Red Top Journalists have banned him from their annual summer kickabout, usually held at Moral High Ground Park, just outside London in July.

An insider at the secretive club told Arseblog News, “A couple of our most esteemed members were physically sick when they saw what Danny did. We even had reports that one chap vomited before he’d even had a chance to see the incident…his piss was so boiled by Arsenal fans on Twitter he nearly combusted. Danny definitely won’t get a call to play with us.”

Pressed as to whether Dele Alli would still get an invite, the source said: “Of course. Why wouldn’t he?”

Related articles


Notify of

newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

John Cross is just a John Terry impersonation.

please explain john

is the official reply for all his Arsenal related tweets from now on “please explain John”? If not can we make it so?


the thing that really gets to me is, there was even contact, however minimal. (for the record, yes I think it was really soft). these f*cking c*nts say f*ck all whenever sp*rs do it, even without contact. and now the tables are turned, even our fans are taking the moral high ground. does my bloody head in.


UEFA can f*ck off!


Lol. Take that, Sp*** lovers.


Only a matter of time before someone sees drunk John Cross at an underground station, ranting about this to passing commuters.

easy tiger



i reckon you can now laugh a little easier at some of the anti-cross ornstein memes, blogger?

Reality Cech

Apparently Dele Alli was going to be investigated too, but this was dropped as they are no longer involved in European competition

A Different George

Ashley Young too.


😀 😀 😀 THIS comment surely wins for this story. Surely?


With the end of all football imminent due to Danny’s actions, there wasn’t really any point in banning him. Just saving themselves some work.


Great picture. Feel a bit confused now, i mean how can Dannys act of anti football not get punished to the max? What has football become?
Hopefully in good time UEFA will tell the world their reasons behind this decision. Or perhaps wenger will clear this incident up in his book on retirement.

Ike\'s Mood

That tweet doesn’t actually say Danny ever was under investigation, simply that he won’t face any action. It looks like a classic example of keeping a non-story going because a) there is no news; or b) The National Association of Red Top Journalists (nice one, Blogs) haven’t decided on a new outrage just yet. SSN might as well have said “Danny Welbeck will not be going tot the moon” and it would’ve had the same substance.


It’s like the time I retired from international football.


The National Association of Red Top Journalists have taken the case to the highest court in football. The premier league match officials. PMOL General Manager Mike Riley has yet to view the incident but is adamant that Arsenal progressing in european competition is the last thing he wants and so the premier league match officials will punish Welbeck and Arsenal retrospectively in the Premier League. “I don’t care if it was a dive, its disgusting. The punishment will be subtle but appropriate.” He purred, stabbing his effigy of Arsene Wenger with knitting needles, while simultaneously twirling an imaginary mustache “Certain… Read more »


Who cares…
Dele Alli would even dive against his teammates.

Le Bob

“the National Association of Red Top Journalists have banned him from their annual summer kickabout, usually held at Moral High Ground Park”


A Different George

Some of the journalists will also miss the match as they are busy hacking the cellphones of kidnapping victims.

Ray Dennis

I was at the match, lower tier and level with the goal line deffo push, deffo pen. Well done Danny keep up the good work


I haven’t seen it yet

But I promise I’ll come back to you when I’ve seen the replays

Cliff Bastin

Maybe because the ref’s assistant was 4 feet away.

Wenger\'s mkhi

Did the red tops forget that Welbeck is English and therefore incapable of cheating?

Dark Arts

No doubt the Russians will be quaking in their boots at the English side’s readiness to replace the flags of the international officials.


It wasn’t a dive. Evidence 1) ankle clipped. Evidence 2) Robbie Savage said it wasn’t a penalty

Godfrey Twatsloch

The oracle that is Robbie Savage, the wit, the eloquence, the expertise, the pure measure of the man. How could anyone doubt what he says?


Tbh I thought the media had moved on from this non story, but obviously not.
It’s one of the reasons I don’t buy a newspaper anymore, also the reason I don’t click on 99% of the crap sites on News Now and why I don’t listen to Talk Bollocks.


If you apply the usual National Association of Red Top Journalists standard to determine if a penalty occurred (“Was there contact?”), then this one was a stone wall penalty.

They usually only apply this standard when it’s Dele or Harry, though.


As soon as one of ours gets an “easy” penalty, the UK gutter journalists are on the case. Never mind that fooker down the road who spends more time diving than he does on his feet being their super dooper cheating darling. They are OBSESSED with anything to do do with Arsenal catching a break. Collectively, getting the world’s worst reporters to discuss “diving” is almost as bad as suggesting Mother Riley spend time on Sky Sports talking about fair refereeing in the EPL! They are all so bent, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if they spent the… Read more »


Well the guy did tap him on the shoulder, seemingly that is enough


I think the key issue was Welbeck looked to be shaping to shoot when the ‘errant’ arm of Rodriguez came out to distract him. It was soft but could also be construed as a professional foul to put the striker off. Whether Welbeck fell to ground or not was inconsequential. Considering the number of soft penalties given against us (Hazard was moving away from goal when the penalty was awarded for the faintest of touches from Bellerin), we got our reward. In the end 5-1 aggregate does not suggest in any way we ‘edged it’ bc of this one penalty… Read more »


Look, it was really windy.

Godfrey Twatsloch

That wasn’t wind! It was John Cross’ mouth.


Anyone still believe the that the media and ex pundits are not against us? Don’t make up sheet about us? hold us to unreasonable standards? Or have a agenda? Jenas the penis couldn’t wait to have ago at Danny like it was Danny’s 10th offense. Yet to hear outrage at their manager saying it’s cool to dive. Some people still go on about pires a decade ago.


John cross is actually a nice guy. I emailed him a few years back, asking him a question about a column he wrote. The guy emailed me back, and we had a few pleasant email exchanges since then. Just saying.


People sometimes forget that “the person” and “the job they’re hired to do” aren’t the same.


If you spend 40-60 hours a week doing something it inevitably becomes a part of who you are.


Clearly then John Cross wanks for between 40-60 hours a week. 🙂

Crash Fistfight

Anyone else not seeing comments on the Android app? If so, does anyone know how to sort it out.

Andy Mack

Whilst is was certainly a very soft penalty, there was contact. A very slight ankle tap which changes DWs stride slightly which is clear on the replays (unless you’re a former Spuddie player which gives you poor vision when we play).
I’d expected better from John Cross but his standard have plummeted in the last 5 odd years.


Some times i just cant see how bias all the English press are, when Dele Ali and Harry Cain dived in a Premier League match with Liverpool. i didnt see it any where that the press are complaining or making comment on cain divetill date. Alli dive is constant but nobody has punished him up

Share article

Featured on NewsNow

Support Arseblog

Latest posts

Latest Arsecast

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x