Sokratis Papastathopoulos signing imminent as defender arrives in London

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Arsenal are expected to announce the signing of defender Sokratis Papastathopoulos in the next 24 hours after he arrived in London over the weekend.

The 30 year old, who is fatally allergic to llamas, will become the third new arrival of the summer after veteran Swiss defender Stephan Lichtsteiner and goalkeeper Bernd Leno.

Papastathopoulos, who is known more commonly as Sokratis, arrived to finalise his deal from Borussia Dortmund, where he worked with the club’s new head of recruitment Sven Mislintat.

Sokratis, who once went to a fancy dress party as a deciduous tree, will add experience to a defensive line-up that certainly needs it due to the injury to Laurent Koscielny and the retirement of Per Mertesacker.

He is also reportedly a bit of a bollix who enjoys clobbering attackers, and I think that’s something we can all understand.

This one time, when I was playing football in Spain, I had their centre-forward so wound up he lost the plot, called me a ‘fothermucker’, punched me in the face, then tried to strangle our goalkeeper.

He got a 3 month ban from the league.

#welcomesokratis

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Anonymarse

you sexy fothermucker

santori

Fat…and old. If you think that’s sexy.

Mayor McCheese

Ryo Miyaichi was at the same fancy dress party and went as a coniferous tree.

Amusa

Didn’t he go as a cone?

Mayor McCheese

Word is he was in a serious relationship at the time and wasn’t looking to get picked up.

Spanish Bloke

So you’re the fothermucker, I’ve waited 14 years for my revenge on you. And now I shall have it.

Rich

Was it all just a dream….

Don Cazorleone

Did he used to read Word Up magazine?

udotbdot5

Brilliant

Mesut's Ozil

More importantly; does he love it when we call him big popa?

Mesut's Ozil

Papa*

Copelandão

2 of those 3 extras are false. I really hope the story from Spain is true! Something to aspire to!

assistantref

No no no, Socrates plays up front as a number 9, he won the Philosopher’s World Cup final with a header in the last minute from a Archimedes cross.

Eric Blair

Ahh, I remember that team, they’d play beautiful passing triangles along with number 6 Pythagoras.

ypsigooner

Marx may have had a point about the offside, though

Rich

It’s really hard to look ? past Spain+Croatia….

Anonymarse

and yet here we are

Mbappe l'épée dans l'Arsenal

England in final on paper ?

Anonymarse

we certainly have a chance

Anonymarse

there is always the sp*rs factor unfortunately

Anonymarse

Nice to see everybody is optimistic

John Strobel

Blogs, you been drinking?

AlexP

Croatia could have won had the guy chosen to score a goal into empty net, instead he went down like a puss

UGooner

I love you, Blogs… You make the most obvious news enjoyable haha… Arseblog for life!!!

Özil Gummidge

I hope we’re not signing players who can’t decide which tree to be and opt for ‘generic deciduous’

Jimbo jones

Leaf it out

Lobster

Barking up the wrong tree mate.

Mentalist

Can’t wait to see another picture of him!

AndyL

I’m obviously sympathetic about Sokratis’ allergy to Llamas, but how do we know it is fatal? That would be rather difficult to check, unless several family members have died of a similar condition.

Leigh

He’s been listed in the squad (no number yet) for days

santori

Doesn’t look terribly mobile, has been average in Bundesliga last year. Old and slow and fat.

Exactly what we need.