Friday, January 27, 2023

Emery on his juicy decision

Juice. Fruit juice. How do you like yours?

Unai Emery says he likes his fresh…fresh and juicy. So fresh and juicy, he’ll only accept it from the fruit itself, just like his big papa made. Given he spent so long in Seville, perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised.

As a result of this very specific preference, our new head coach has, as reported earlier this week, banned anything that doesn’t meet his standards. It’s a bit like that time that Arsene banned Mars bars, but with less singing at the back of the team bus by Ian Wright.

“Yes, this is true,” replied Emery when asked if rumours of a juice ban were true.

“I only changed, I like fruit a lot and I like fruit juice. But with a lot of sugar? Not very well.

“It’s for that and when I was very young, my father was coming every day with one fresh orange fruit juice. I like in my life, more of that.

“It’s for that, when I arrived here, I asked only for that from the cook. And the players, I think, are the same. They prefer their orange juice fresh.”

We’re speculating here, but we reckon that means Unai has banned all low-cost supermarket own-brand juices, Um Bongo and those fancy juices with cutesy marketing pitches that probably have more sugar per 100ml than sugar itself.

If that doesn’t get Jamie Oliver at the Emirates, nothing will.

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Pedant

We are extracting the essence of Emery now.

Scott P

The result of that may be fine, but I don’t think I want to view that process

baz00r

You’ve never juiced a man before?

Damo Dinkum

“The juicing of a man is a lot like a good marriage…”

A Different George

Perhaps we can buy Antonio Valencia from Man United.

Jay

just threw up a little at the idea of “Jamie Oliver at the Emirates”

Donald's Trump

I think Emery can be summed up perfectly by Kanye.

‘No one knows what it means, but it’s provocative’

‘it gets the people going’

Ordnance Dave

What’s the source of this story?

George

Whatever it is, you know it’s made from fresh tomatoes.

viegunner

The Juicy One

Zino

The tags made my day

Kinggunner

Jerk Rice what!!

santori

Interesting listening to Tim Allen on merits of playing Torreira at base with Ramsey and Ozil in midfield against Cardiff likely to sit deep and take us on the break. I think he is proposing a 4-1-4-1 to pick the lock or break them down? …………………………Laca……………………………. Auba………..Ozil……………….Ramsey………..Mhki ……………………….Torreira…………………………. Monreal……..Sokratis……..Mustafi…………Bellerin ………………………..Cech……………………………. I’m not sure if Torreira is as “athletic” as he presumes. He certainly has better defensive judgement and instinct than Granit but he has been caught several time sagainst Chelsea although slightly better with West Ham. At the same time, Granit’s defensive weakness can also be exaggerated as he made… Read more »

baz00r

You’ve managed to take a fairly lighthearted and humorous article about fruit juice and turn it into something super serious. A simple juice related joke would have sufficed in this case. I’ll give you a point for the ascii team formation though. Nice work.

mpls

a bit off topic.

Damo Dinkum

Probably the most off-topic comment in the history of oranges

OJ Fresh

He did say ‘bar’ at the end which I can only assume referring a fresh juice bar.

Shares in Del Monte dropped 18% today. I feel for ‘the man from’…

Petit's Handbag

Do they still sell Um Bongo? Or was that racist? “Um bongo bongo down in the jungle”.
It sounds racist, and if you have to ask it usually is.

Goonerrific

Quite the opposite – I mean they drink it in the Congo right? Pretty awesome to be promoting the DR Congo’s finest products.

If only it were Rwandan, we might get a cheap deal on it!!

Mayor McCheese

So…erm…you claim that if you have to ask if something is racist, then it’s racist?

Ok, then.

By the way, is your comment racist? Racist!

Con

I despair

snagger

I wonder how gatorade have taken the news as he tells journalists he wants his players to drink fresh oj while being flanked by 2 bottles of sugar water.

serotonin

Wait ’til Unai sees what’s in the Carabao Cup…

Ingredients
Water, sugar, citric acid, taurine, sorbitol, sodium citrate, caffeine, inositol, sodium benzoate and potassium sorbate (added to preserve product quality), artificial flavors, nicotinamide (niacin), D-Panthenol, pyridoxine HCI (vitamin B6), FD&C Yellow No. 5 (Tartrazine), FD&C Red No. 40, and Vitamin B-12.

Delicious Sparkling Temperance Drinks!
http://www.delicioussparklingtemperancedrinks.net/Carabao.html

nobbygooner

free OJ he’s innocent (drink)

Wengerballz

Mind blown (squeezed?)

Carabao Cack

No gunk, no junk. Just Emery.

Evang. Simon

I want to supply fresh orange juice….

Juiced from the finest oranges

No preservatives
No additives

Lies from juice adverts

TakeMeImYours

In Sevilla you can walk down the street and pick a fresh one right off the tree.
Proper Pukka

That Jamie Oliver can squeeze me…

Gooner G

Sugar daddy.

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