It’s the big question – what number is Pablo Mari gonna wear for Arsenal?
Across the land sages and soothsayers had their opinions.
“It will be 73”, said one, but nobody paid attention because he was sniffing glue like some 80s child.
“I tell you, as sure as night follows day and as sure as Maroon 5 singer bloke is history’s greatest monster,” said another, “that he will sport the number 36.45 as the Premier League have gone metric.”
“Don’t be a twat,” said another. “Now that we have Brexit we’ll be counting in imperial again where a healthy baby will weigh half a sack of flour and at the gym the strong boys will deadlift at least two thirds of an oxen. Therefore, Pablo will wear the number ‘picture of an Ox eating a baby’.”
Yet few paid attention to what the name was telling them. Pablo, the Spanish for Paul. Mari, the Spanish for Maria. Paul and Maria ran a corner shop at 22 Holloway Road for years.
Sure, they were found dead in a murder/suicide pact in June 1989 following the great Cadbury’s Creme Egg racket, and not long after Michael Thomas’ famous goal at Anfield, but you knew if you needed some crisps with the packet of salt in the bag, they were the go-to place to fulfill your potato snack needs.
Welcome #22 Pablo Mari. Score a goal against Liverpool to win us the game at the Emirates to beat their crazy run of victories, and we’ll all think this thing was ok.