A lover of the nightlife, Marouane Chamakh might be swapping his Cristal palace for a Crystal one, according to today’s The Sun newspaper.
Dubious as we always are about stories which appear in said publication, they quote the ubiquitous ‘insider’ who claims that manager Ian Holloway wants the Moroccan on a 6 month loan deal.
“Chamakh’s now top of the manager’s wish-list,” said the silhouetted snitch from the shadows of a dimly-lit underground car park.
“He wants a target man to compliment Dwight Gayle and Chamakh fits the bill. Holloway feels he can bring the best out of him and has always rated him.
“The plan is to bring him in for six months and see how the move works out.”
He then dissolved into the darkness, the metal tips of his heels echoing away through the basement like a really bad analogy in a Dan Brown novel.
To paraphrase the Liverpool owner, we’re not sure what Ian Holloway has been smoking, but hopefully he’s got a mega-bong of the stuff at the ready until this deal gets done.
Chamakh made a grand total of no league appearances for Arsenal last season, scoring a whopping zero goals, and a January loan move to West Ham was about as successful as Piers Morgan at the National Not A Complete Wanker Competition.
While a permanent move away would be obviously be preferable, this would be better than him hanging around for the final year of his contract.
“the metal tips of his heels echoing away through the basement like a really bad analogy in a Dan Brown novel”
I love you.
Anyone else read that whole thing like a detective from an old noir film?
“Chamakh’s now top of the manager’s wish-list,” said the silhouetted snitch from the shadows of a dimly-lit underground car park.
This has to be one of the most entertaining news articles posted by arseblog news. heh.
Presumably it’s a long wishlist and now has lines drawn through all the names except the last one.
One of the reasons I’m so glad I support Arsenal is that I get Arseblog as part of the package
One of the reasons I have been glad to support Arsenal was the knowledge that whatever horrors or soul-crushing disappointments happened on or off the pitch, there was going to be an INTERNET JOE section on the arsecast that will make fun of it and make my weekend tolerable.
Now the brilliant Internet Joe is gonen and we have had no worthy replacement for him.
Come to think of it… could Arseblog be doing this as a metaphor for our real-life transfer strategy? Is this an elaborate allegory for life as an Arsenal fan?
Andrew, you cunning devil.
Best line of all time on this blog. EVER.
Take him Ian..the guy is a dam good target man..trust us 😉
He’s so good that we are going to sign Robert Lewandowski to replace him.
(A man can dream, can’t he?)
That’s probably the face he pulls after missing a clear goal.
Come on palace!, make it a permanent buy. we will even pay you!
No that’s him taking part in the Rio Ferdinand lookilikie contest at the weekend.
Not a bad effort to be fair. Pretty much resembles the Duck Billed Twatapuss himself.
I love the Piers Morgan dig.
Keep them coming.
Wht is really goin on here,cant get players IN cant get players OUT?
Oh be quiet
as of it’s something unknown to a Arsenal fan..
“cant get players OUT”… Ummm, so what are these players doing:
Denilson – Released
Andrei Arshavin – Released
Sebastian Squillaci – Released
Vito Mannone – £2,000,000
André Santos – Free
I think they’ve left the club which mean they have gone OUT of the club.
You’re in luck Palace! We have our buy 1 get 2 free promotion going! Take a Chamakh and we will throw in a Bendtner and a Park absolutely free! Fully housebroken! Don’t let this opportunity pass you by!
I’m pretty sure claiming Bendtner is housebroken is false advertising.
Unlike his paddy power pants
Wasn’t Holloway quoted as saying last week was the worst of his life when it came to transfers?
Sorry Ian, it’s about to get fuckin worse mate.
Oh, i trust this guy, he’ll consider the offer, he’s not TGSTEL.
I just know he’ll have a SMOKING good time at Palace. *gets coat.
Weird….. I would’ve have thought Bendtner offered the better target man option between the two o_O ??????? Must be the huge wages TGSTEL is on.
A quote from the Sun newspaper?
Really?
Is this what it’s come to?
Wait 3 days for an article and this?
Surely there has to be something going on somewhere, anywhere, please, just something…
Podolski has his own noise, does that count?
http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/video-a-ha-it-s-lukas-podolski-
Almost creamed myself when Giroud grunted
Can’t we just chloroform him and leave him out by the bins?
Chamakh, Bendtner and Park. What a strike force!!! Wingate and Finchley have expressed interest in Chamakh. Major announcement at 1pm 🙂
Can we include a “has-to-play-against-us-clause” instead of the usual one which dissallows him to play? Now that would be our transfer of the season up until now. I’ll go sit in the corner and cry for a while
Hopefully the lesson is learnt about signing bargains and putting unproven players on delicious wages.
To think that after his first few months at Arsenal there were serious discussions going on amongst fans as to whether he should keep his place in the team at the expense of RVP when he came back from injury…
How the HELL do you go from that to being not even good enough to start for West Ham in the space of little more than 2 years!? To the point where fans can hardly believe that Crystal Palace want him!?
Absolutely bizarre, what’s gone on with this guy.
What simply happened to him was that Wenger sacrificed is career for the dutch skunk and of course we all know how the story ends.
I almost feel bad for palace if this happens. Can they do us under the trade descriptions act ?
he smoked stuffs
It started so well for him at Arsenal. I thought we’d really found a decent back-up to van Persie but ultimately this has to go down as one of Arsene’s biggest flops. I get that he can’t control the attitude of a player but perhaps bit more research might have been key to this one. Sometimes you just get a feeling for someone and make a decision which isn’t based on the right information and I believe that’s what happened in this case. I recall a similar situation when I was hiring people for a large company. During one interview… Read more »
Appropriate name.
Oh, you’ll get used to ol’ Pete. A true legend of the Arseblog News comments section.
Rambling Pete is actually chief negotiatior at the Arsenal, which is why doing our business early this summer hasn’t quite worked out. He’s still in correspondence with Higauin’s brother, debating the true nature of the fluff that bobbled on Alan Sunderland’s head after his goal in the ’79 Cup Final, it’s only a small digression though, that deal’s still on… oh, wait
To also bring a sword to work? At least then you could have rambled and protected the people!
Pete, if he worked for you…. i can understand him pulling a sword out after a while.
So.. uhh. If we can somehow convince Chamakh to turn up to training in a leather trench coat carrying a sword we might be able to get rid of him? Yeah, that would work I guess.
Has to be more likely that anyone wanting to buy him after all!
Every blog site should have a rambling pete. Pure genius.
Taking my friends away and trying to isolate me…meh
There is one glaring, regrettable sadness looming on the day that we finally get shot of Chamakh: we will probably never again have cause to see this picture of his weird gurning monster-lip face again. A veritable classic pic that gives me a genuine “LOL” every. single. time.
If you see this, you MUST READ RAMBLING PETE’S POST.
Blogs, some days you really are fucking great.
All hail Rambling Pete.
Chamakh is something that i’ll never forgive Wenger for. Say what you will about Bendtner’s attitude but it became quite clear that he was a much better finisher and overall footballer than Chamakh and was constantly improving. Once Chamakh came along he was relegated to the bench by an inferior player, and its obvious now that that was a bad decision and his development was seriously hampered. Remember 08/09 and 09/10 when he seemed to score game saving late goals for us? He scored 15 and 12 in total for those two seasons, the next season we signed Chamakh and… Read more »
Say what you will about Bendtner’s attitude
Ok, I will.
he was relegated to the bench by an inferior player
Ok, faced with that do you:
a) fight for your place back?
b) decide to behave like a complete knob?
It is too easy for a player with bad attitude to blame others, but a great player will rise to the top whatever challenges are put in front of them. Look at past players like Parlour and Winterburn. Wenger signed more skillfull players to replace them, yet they proved their extra effort was good enough to stay ahead. Neither Bendtner or Chamakh have that character.
If I was likeable enough to warant a best mate. I’d want it to be rambling pete.
Can’t we just break him down for spare parts? Maybe give Diaby little bit new legs?
And he could give Steve Bould his wonderful hair.
…like the mournful last dance of a one legged tap dancer, who can’t really dance and just has to hop about a bit making jazz hands…
We need to keep him, Bale to Madrid is off so they will take Suarez. We can class bendtner and chamahks return as like new signings
Hai, i want to chamakh loan.
i have a car i will drop him off.
Blogs
No league appearances – correct.
He did score TWO!! League cup goals at Reading.
[…] 来源:[Arseblog News] […]
[…] get them off the books on a permanent basis, and while finances might dictate we have to consider a loan move or two, we’ve got rid of a huge amount of the deadwood, saving ourselves hundreds of thousands a […]
“and a January loan move to West Ham was about as successful as Piers Morgan at the National Not A Complete Wanker Competition.”
LOL!