You may have noticed Santi Cazorla playing football quite well on Sunday against Manchester City.
It turned heads.
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain treated the Spaniard to a piggyback at full-time. Aaron Ramsey described him as a ‘little magician’. In the Sky Sports studio Thierry Henry had to cross his legs for fear of Gary Neville staring at his crotch. On social media people put down their pitchforks for a nanosecond and doffed collective caps.
And in Barcelona, Xavi was summoned to the Camp Nou’s corridors of power for a meeting. We imagine it went something like this…
Evil Barça suit: “See Arsenal yesterday?”
Xavi: “Si.”
Evil Barça suit: “You know what I’m thinking…”
Xavi: “Si.”
Evil Barça suit: “Reckon you can get it done today?”
Xavi: “Si.”
Evil Barça suit: “We’ll organise some ridiculous press thing for this afternoon…do it then”
Xavi: “Si.”
Three hours later…
Xavi says he’d choose Santi Cazorla if he could buy any player for Barcelona.
Speaking at an event for Spanish dentist agency Dentix (yes…dentist!), the 34-year-old stated: “There is some great Spanish football talent around. Who would I sign for Barcelona? Silva and Cazorla.”
You’ve got to give it to him. He’s ridiculously consistent when it comes to this type of behaviour. Even when it goes Alex Song.
For what it’s worth, Santi is under contract at Arsenal until the summer of 2016.
Oh…and Barcelona are banned from signing any players for the whole of 2015. HA HA!
Slow news day huh? But can’t get enough of the Santi and Coq praise!
I love it when people praise our coq.
It’s got potential to be world class and super hard they all say. It’s just not the biggest ever.
Oh it’s pretty big girth wise…just lacking in length. But I’ve heard its really all about girth.
The thing about our Coq is that, size doesn’t matter.
“Si.”
Its not the size, its the motion in the ocean
I almost forgot how much I hate barca, and their petty transfer wankery
I hope they don’t go for our Coq too.
I doubt it, City and Chelsea are much closer, it would be easy for Chelsea to tap him up as backup for Matic.
I used to like watching them because of Ronaldinho, I later enjoyed their rise to the top with some very nice football, but seriously, they’re a bunch of cunts when it comes to the transfer market. Xavi needs to check Santi’s genealogy, no Barca DNA there, so those cunts can fuck right off. I don’t even know why that muppet’s talking now what with the transfer ban and all.
I thought Xavi was off in the summer to the MLS anyway?
Planting seeds is what the cunt is doing. Putting it in Cazorla’s head ready for next year when the transfer ban ends (assuming they have their filthy cockroach-infested cesspit in order by then).
Literally what happened is Xavi praised Santi Cazorla. Let’s not all rip our balls off over this.
Xavi is about to be Coq-blocked.
It’s like they completely forgot they can’t sign anyone for more than a year. The tapping process apparently is so ingrained into the Barca system that it doesn’t require any actual thought by anyone anywhere to start it up.
Glad Santi did not play at Barca when he was young, otherwise he would get homesick like Cesc did. Hope he is smart enough not to pay attention and don’t fall for the Barca trap. After all, he can talk Inglés now!!
The only thing that i miss from Santi is his amazing shots, look at his goals in 12/13. He still has got the technique though!
Glad Santi actually never played for Barca. So, no dna crap!
My bad, my Inglés is not superb aswell ^^
He turned down both Real & Barca back when he was tearing it up at Villareal & later at Malaga.
Contrary to what the media may say, not all Spanish players are obsessed about Barca & Real eg Silva, Mata, Koke etc
torres
I like this – it’s good for building us up when players from other clubs go on record and say how great Arsenal players are. Not £60m signings for the Glazerhawks, not any of Jose’s midfielders, but our Santi. Particularly when it comes from a fucknozzle who plays for a team on the verge of losing their best player, who can’t sign anyone, who baited Cesc back before treating him like shit, etc etc and so on. Haha, indeed. What would be really amusing would be for Stevie Me to go on record about how fat Frank has been a… Read more »
Whats with the hate for Xavi? He’s a Legend.
He’s a legend who repeatedly comes out with annoying tapping up stuff like this. He did it with Cesc. He did it with Alex Song. He’s done it with other teams’ players too, although I can’t remember specifics because I couldn’t be arsed when it doesn’t affect Arsenal. He’s an annoying midget of a legend.
Agreed xavi is a fantastic footballer, one of if not the best central midfielders in my lifetime. However, those fucks at barca are constantly tapping up other clubs’ players with bs like this in the media. The media themselves are hardly blameless, but you don’t expect respect from tabloids. You do expect it from alleged legendary footballers, and it’s disappointing when that respect is absent.
Ye but his mother cooks socks in hell.
He broke our fabregas and stole henry – and song hahahaha
Hmm Santi’s Coq. Arsenal has something
Surprised there wasn’t any of that “Barca DNA” rubbish.
Are we using Alex Song as rhyming slang now? I love it.
When are we next playing the Hammers?
As in shlong, dong, alex song?
As in wrong.
Our Francis has the willy side covered.
Barcelona are full of such ginormous cunts.
CUNTS i tell you.
Don’t be diplomatic tell em straight.
🙂
Ya! Hope those cunts don’t come after our coq.
Hey Xavi, take that precious barca DNA and clone another rat.
Feed it with Formatge de la Garrotxa and stab it in the back.
#Poetic
When the hell are we buying the defender we so desperately need…FFS!!!
We signed a swedish defender named Kristopher da Garca yesterday. Yes, swedish. No, I’m not joking. Yes, he’s 17. Still not joking. However it’s seems like it was a formality, he sign a professional contract because he turned 17 and became eligeble.
Didn’t we sign him a year ago and now he is 17 given him a pro contract?
Before there’s a shitstorm about signing kids,I don’t think we signed him.I think we’ve had him for a while but he just turned 17 and therefore became old enough to sign his first pro contract.
Also- I love Santi.
I’m starting to love Coq (there,I said it)
And Barca are complete uber-cunts.Sooooo glad they can’t sign anyone.Should be a lifetime ban.
We let a major raft of youth players off to opportunities at other clubs in the last year, and need to restock the youth and reserves.
Really all of these comments trying to use youth development prospects to criticize are just silly. All of the top clubs seek out top young talent.
Barca have got to be one of the most scummy teams on the planet for this behaviour. Can’t they just fuck off. They’ve got this self entitled attitude that they can have whoever they want, and for all the deserved praise xavi gets for his quality on the pitch, for me he loses all respect for doing stuff like this…Players compliment each other in the press all the time but it’s so deliberate at barca. Absolute scumbags. Pique aswell is a culprit. FECK OFF
Barcelona would loved to sign him then confine him to the bench as they do with most of the decent players that go there. If Cazorla went to the Catalans, he would have a few good games then fall out with Luis Enrique – yeah the guy who benched Totti at Roma for half a season!
Remember the hatred Santi got not long ago for his dip in form? From our own ranks! And now suddenly the sun shines from his arse. Oh the fickle hearts of many football fans.
You get stick when you play badly and praised/worshiped when you play well.
Whats the big deal .
Get over it.
Just hope its applicable to all players.
The big deal is the unchecked and way out of scale animosity of so many cowards hiding behind the anonymity and distance offered by social media and the mobb mentality of some portions of the crowd.
The sun shines out of Denis Bergkamps ass – Santi reflects it…. like a small spainish moon
lol…
barca lacks class. more just a club? more than just cunts.
No one ever hated Santi, he’s too damn adorable
Haha reminds me of this -> Santi is all smiley and laughing with his former mates, but little did they know he was gonna murder their team. 7:15 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGQvANUpfTg
Interesting link, ta…
Na$ri looks gutted before the game, aahhh what a shame….not
I know Barca are a bunch of cunts!!
But is this any different from Ray Parlour suggesting we should sign Schnerderlin?!?
I beleive it is as Ray is not a member of our squad anymore and has not been involved in luring away players in past…
When Ray Parlour forces an Arsenal shirt on to Schneiderlin then we can talk about comparisons.
Yes, Ray Parlour isn’t an Arsenal player nor is he an employee of Arsenal in any official capacity.
Ray Parlour hasn’t played for us for over a decade, he can say what he wants.
Don’t they have some sort of transfer embargo? so they can’t sign anyone even if they want to
http://static3.ad.nl/static/asset/2014/Verklaring_CAS_7765.pdf
“Oh…and Barcelona are banned from signing any players for the whole of 2015. HA HA!” From this very blog post that you don’t seem to have read in full.
Poor Xavi, they didn’t tell him the tiny little bit about embargo…..
Thanks for that link…. Santi to stay then, for now!
Dont mind xavi! we have a thick coq to silence him.He is lucky he is not “xavi princess serena”.The coq would have dealt with him in a ucl rant penetrative pass
The coq would deal with him
`In the Sky Sports studio Thierry Henry had to cross his legs for fear of Gary Neville staring at his crotch.` Santi is better than sex. My Coq had a boner all game long as well.
Maybe he’s just Barcalonely?
Cazorla has a contract till 2018, he recently renewed it along with Ramsey and Zelalem last year March.
Oh good he has a contract with us, that means he can’t leave before it runs out.
Love the photo, great quality, where did you find that? Well done blogs!
“Well, I would sign *name’s everyone Arsenal player, including some who aren’t even here anymore*”
Can they not ban Barca indefinitely so once they have run their current squad to death, they would not exist anymore. Now that would be fab.
Carzola is safe. But if he started that on Bellerin, then there is cause for worry…DNA and all that.
Santi > Xavi. He’s just a fancy spanish tom cleverley thats all.
Coq praising is the new black 😉
Well done everyone for making a big deal out of nothing. A Spanish player at a Spanish conference asked about Spanish players giving his opinion on the best Spanish players outside Barcelona.
There is no story here, he’s just bigging up his fellow Spanish national team-mates. Not everything is ‘tapping up’, drama queens.
“Just a Spanish player pulling the shirt of a Spanish teams shirt over another Spanish players head no big deal” i bet you were saying that at the time
Xavi was asked, who would you like to sign for Barcelona. No different from our players saying they would like Suarez or Higuain at the club.
“There is some great current talent in Spanish football who I’d sign for Barcelona”. Which is exactly what I said. He’s praising his fellow Spanish national players.
Funny, you lot are just waiting to gnash your teeth and wail at Barca’s ‘tapping up’. This is a non-story.
Nah man it happened far too many times…hleb fab song henry… They’ve lost all rights to compliment players in my opinion, in fact I seem to remember they couldn’t stump up enough cash for cesc so they decided quite blatantly to unsettle him in the press as evidenced by the fact cesc reportedly took a pay cut to be with them… I understand it might seem petty but c’mon out of all the players in the world he just happened to mention a player who just recently had a really good run of form at arsenal. I highly doubt he… Read more »
They’ve virtually got a national newspaper in their pocket. They tell them to come along and ask leading questions so that they can give this sort of answer.
Exactly.
Its flattering for god’s sake…and I am quite confident he has grasped Barca are out of the transfer market for a year.
I am sure Santi was as pleased as punch to hear such praise. He deserved it.
Xavi today… Tomorrow it will be Iniesta.
The Barca tapping us system….
Yep, it’s started now and it’ll keep going through il next January when they’ll make a formal approach. The now generation don’t recognised long-term planned cuntishness when they see it. This is the first shot fired in the War for Santi. I’d just like to remind everybody that as soon as they’d conned Fabregas into asking us to let him go to them for a minimal price their President immediately started crowing about how they’d got one over on foolish Arsenal by convincing us to sell him on the cheap. Cunts fron top to bottom and back up again. I’m… Read more »
Maybe Coq can tell Xavi to shut the fuck up, Coq should tell opposing players to shut the fuck up every single match
This genius hit form about 3 months ago, and Sundays magic was his best of this orgasmic phase, so far.
Santi is such a nice chap that he hasn’t chipped a penalty down the middle since that time some pundits described it as disrespectful …… He’s giving the goalies a sporting chance now . (Sort of)
He is almost Barca DNA. Fucking hell, I hate that club. I hate the color of their shirts, I hate the name, I hate everything.
12 million qouted for jenkinson can we see a swap deal for Winston Read plus cash knowing Wenger?
Even when it goes alex song. Quality punning. Lets hope it doesnt come to that!
Khm, khm *clears throat*: FU*K Xavi and FU*K Farca! Thank you. That concludes Arsenal’s responce
LOL did the press not trumpet not too long ago that none of the Arsenal squad could make the Spurs squad. How times have changed. Perhaps they would like to review their issue with zonal marking cos that was what we employed to beat City recently. Or maybe they’d like t have a think about the need for a big physically imposing DM. Nevin the cretin on BBC harping on about the two machines at City in Fernando and Fernandhino and we coq slapped both. Nor has Stoke with their Orcs in midfield been able to bully our dimunitive trio… Read more »
Not a bad thing, can only hope that sort of praise inspires Cazorla to a great finish to the season for us. Superb player, lovely seeing enjoying his football.
It is amazing how you seem to pick the most approprite pics for your articles !! Cheers arseblog and team.
Wow they really do love us. As for face ache. He’s such a greasy haired mega cunt.
He’s probably sick inside because We no longer need to mug them for transfer funds and the fact we offered more money for ozil than bush did for bin laden.