Arsenal’s majority shareholder, Stanley Enos Humpderdinklage Kroenke, has made a massive January investment.
Before you get too excited though, he’s bought a vineyard in France. The American has paid a reported £85m for the pretigious Bonneau du Martray, making of some of the finest Burgundy wines.
According to the Telegraph:
Bonneau du Martray has only had three owners in more than 1,200 years. It was first the personal property of Emperor Charlemagne and then the Church, but was confiscated during the French Revolution and then sold to the Véry family. In 1835 Marie-Eugénie Véry married Charles Bonneau du Martray, whose descendant Jean-Charles le Bault de la Morinière has just ended the two-century family ownership.
And now it belongs to Kroenke who [insert your own joke here about making it the 4th best vineyard in France or whatever].
Arsenal, of course, have a long history with the old vino, with many players sharing names with various types of the delicious tipple. Such as:
- Chablis Dixon
- Rioja Miyaichi
- Chiantian Wright
- Chris White
- Reduardo da Silva
- Chateauneuf-du-pates
- Soavela
- Sagnagiovese
While before he signed for Blackburn, Arsenal were reportedly interested in then Southampton striker Alan Shiraz.
No, we’re not going to apologise.
Meanwhile, if you’re a fan of stats in football, check out today’s Arsecast which features an interview with the creator of the Stats Zone app for iOs and Android, which provides an incredible array of information from each match.
Listen here
Top banter lads!
This and the Facebook comment dramatic reading from the podcast gave me some good laughs today.
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Emmanuel Petit Chablis
Château Reine Adelaide.
The synergies between his existing businesses and the vineyard acquisition are unreal. Top quality.
This guy truly is a massive twat
this yankee mustachio has contributed nothing to our cause.
Can’t believe we are signing Griezmann!
His name is actually spelled “Griesling”
3 owners in 1200 years and they sell to Chuck Cheeseburger Jr III…? Ffs.
I would ask if nothing is sacred, but I think we all know the answer to that one…
Well one thing is, apparently.
The Prem?
I hope Usmanov gives him a rusty trombone in the Arsenal boardroom as Sir Chips furiously masturbates.
…….Wow
That would explain why Liverpool Management wanted to know what they are smoking at the Emirates
Freddie Lemberger
Danny Malbec, surely?
this one
Humperdinklage Reserve soon at WalMart
Perhaps Kroenke could get some old Senegalese footballers to look after his vineyard?
Maybe they could live in the old ruin that overlooks the hills.
Le Chateau Diof du Pape
Piers Morgan should have gone halfsies with him.
He likes a good whine
Pascal Chianti…..poor
Still, good to see our money being put to good use.
Muscat Ozil has always been a personal favourite
And obviously Arsene’s former right hand man from Japan, Pat Rice Wine
Sakian Wright, even
Riyad Chiraz
How could you forget Laurent-Perrier Koscielny?
Or his partner on the left, Garnacha Monreal.
Dennis Bergcampo-Viejo
Laurent-Perrier Koscielny
Henry Darnat
Etc…
Love that first one
Alas, no Antoine ‘Pinot’ Griezmann
No, but there are rumours of interest in Griezling.
Freddie Ljunburgandy would approve…
Ace
Clearly this is all about Andrew’s broken resolution to eat more grapes mentioned in the Arsecast today.
Per Merte-sake
Ah how could I miss this… Aaron Rum-sey
Pinot “Olivier” Giroudgio
bull shit
He should grow pear trees at the Grove next to his vines.
Who doesn’t like a touch of Sparkling Perry?
Tomáš Rosé-ký?
Martini Keown. It’s got some wine in it……
If we’re going regular drinks I’ll have Vodkanu
Gentleman Jack Wilshere
Stella Arteta
also along those lines… Emiliano Martini (it’s a keeper that one)
Sauvinlaurent Blanc
I know.
I don’t care.
In that case I’ll have a pint of olager Luzhny.
Glenfiditch Helder
I still don’t know why we signed Highland Park.
Cabernet Franc Stapleton
Boal Morte
The famous full-back duo Kir & Gibbs
and not forgetting Sémillon (whenever Arseblogger watched Robert Pires)
Babychamakh
John Ginsen
Robin Van Winkle made his Mark for us, and he could hit the odd Bulleit, but it turned out he was straight from Knob Creek, and I’m pleased to hear he’s currently playing for Woodford Reserves.
To be honest If i had the money and a choice between buying an overpriced footballer or one of the best wine yards in France, I’d buy the vineyard every time.
It’s his money not ours.
Exacly what I was thinking.
Endless amounts of quality wine would bring me a lot more joy than having a good player for some years.
But Im not him, so I think he should just buy a damn player..
Muscat Ozil
Oops, should have read through the comments first!
Merlot Tourè
All well and good, lads, until Stan demands Cech play in a Fruit-of-the-Loom style grape suit for synergistic advertising purposes, sends the youth squad to harvest the Pinot noir grapes as a training regimen, and forces you to pair your prawn sandwich with a glass of Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru. Who’ll be laughing then?!?
Hold on: can Cech wear the grape suit when defending a penalty?
This article would have been great for the inter lull ?
Andrey Archenin (blanc)
I´ll never forget the great Chardonnay Nicholas
Stella Arteta?
Johan Djourouge
Sylvino or Giovino van bronckhorst (take your pick)
Chardonnay George … double the taste, twice the bang for you buck.
60+ comments about Arsenal players and various inebriants and yet not one mention of Tony Adams, that must be first!
What about a Gin and Tony?
Cote du Rohan Ricketts
Chianti cazorla, rives de merson, cesc chablisgas, bruce riocha, sorry if these have been done i cant see the top of the thread!
All I’ve got is Patrick Madeira and Thomas Eiswein.
Alexis Shiraz?
But if we’re drinking anything then I’ll have a double Liam Brandy please.
Great. We have new shirt sponsors.
Mozille
Grenacho Monreal
Casillero del Diaby
Merlotsacker.