Jack Wilshere, Bacary Sagna and Emmanuel Frimpong will step up their respective comebacks from injury by taking part in a specially organised, wink wink, hush hush behind-closed door friendly tomorrow at Arsenal’s training ground.
Kanu, Peter Ndlovu and Elton John have not been invited, although Chelsea’s second-string, presumably made up of Winston Bogarde, the half-brothers and second cousins (twice-removed) of their summer signings and a couple of Roman Abramovich’s henchmen, are expected to provide a semblance of competition.
Wilshere, who has played a combined total of 137 minutes in two under-21 clashes in recent weeks, will be looking to further prove to Arsene Wenger that his Achilles doesn’t fall off as he eyes a part in the COC Cup against Reading at the end of October, while Sagna and Frimpong, both aware that they have stiffer first team competition than ever, will similarly be hoping for a decent run out at London Colney.
Given that cameras won’t be present, Arsene Wenger has instructed that rush-goalies be used by both sides and that the pitch be shaped like a triangle. Goals will be rewarded for every pass successfully completed. If the game ends as a draw both sides will use one of those balloon-like footballs you can buy from newsagents to take penalties against Gunnersaurus.
Le Prof just loves to innovate.
I suspect you may be lying about that last part, but as there will be no cameras I guess I will just have to take you at your word.
I’d still pay to watch that..
Wilshere will be simply spliffing for Arsenal. Through my very thoughtful and experienced eyes Sagna should be straight back into the team.
Our Corporal has been pretty solid though, hopefully Wenger doesn’t try to bring back Sagna too soon. IIRC, he had one or two dodgy games after coming back from injury last season.
“Simply spliffing”
This is our new tactic. Jack and Frimmers are going to fill the pitch with weed smoke, which they’ve trained themselves to see through during their long absences
Surely there must be some whacky punishment instead of yellows/reds
Phil Collins album for a straight red. I suppose John Terry`s school album should be handed for each yellow as well
Anyone booked does not get to kick John Terry in the bollocks after the match.
Should be the cleanest game of football ever played.
Arseblog News: It’s f***kin hilarious!
With your last paragraph, I think you’ve just found a way to improve football ten-fold
With the rumours floating round about Theo, I don’t think we should let the Chelsea folk anywhere near our turf..
Just come back already wilshere. I miss you, I miss your sweet sweet turns around that centre of the pitch. Please put me out of misery and jusy come the motherfuckinf back.
Sagna I miss you winning all aerial balls and scoring once in a while against spuds.
Frimmers…………no rush, we’ll call on you when you’re needed. Old trafford!.
I’m just Just here reminiscing kanus hatrick against United that year. Yeah!!!!
I hope Wilshere will not be spliffing, his coordination may be affected, his ability to complete a sensible sentence may be…Erm…uh… Oh look a squirrel
I just hope that when he does eventually play for the first team too much is not expected of him straight away. His fitness is probably rubbish and his lack of match playing means that he is well off the boil. It’s going to take until after Christmas before we see the best of Jack. Subject change: in today’s Daily Mail it says that Daniel Sturridge will be up for sale this January, with an asking price of just 15 million quid. I reckon that would be a great piece of business. He’s a better player than he’s showing at… Read more »
I wouldn’t call Llorente top class at the moment but Falcao? Yes please!
I agree about the falcao part. Llorente has handled his situation with the same cuntishness as our former Dutch wanker, so I’ll pass on him. As far as 15 for Sturridge, I’ll pass. Id rather take a punt on odemwinge. He’d be cheaper and I know he can hit the net.
Still for me though, the best bet is to sell arshavin, theo and chamakh for whatever we can get, and go all in for Falcao. We’d have a truly realistic chance of winning on all fronts if we made it happen.
I’d love rush goalie to be implemented to decide games instead of penalties.
Each yellow card allows John Terry to walk through your neighbourhood. A red allows him into your house for each player. There wont be a cleaner match.
Except that everyone would refuse to play then resign.
GO WILSHERE, SAGNA.
I heard that Santos is driving the Chelsea team bus home! My source at ToysRUs said that Arsene has ordered 10 Space Hoppers for use if it goes to extra time, just to save tired legs and injuries. Dijourou already has one…
The thought of the midfield 3 featuring Arteta, Jack and Santi leaves me weak in the knees
I really hope the frimpster gets a shot in the first team. He’s just too DENCH to let go…
Im also looking forward to some DENCHNESS in the first team. Never too much DENCH for me! DENCH me up.
Shouldn’t it be COCup rather than COC Cup? Either way, I’m looking forward to seeing Jack on the pitch again. Especially if it’s one of those triangular pitches.
FUCKING INTERLULL! WHY YOU NO END????
Girrrrrrrroud!!!…..yeah that oughta show those spain cunts, excluding cazorla ofcourse. Then putting in cunt xavi, busquets and all those others of them cunts.
And this here is commendable. Giroud+cazorla…..lovely eh?
http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/426219_372772992800469_1664522057_a.jpg
Exactly!!! GIROUD!! Yes!! France were dominating at the end there!
Mixed fortunes for BFG though. Scored for Germany as they went 4-0 up, before Sweden came back to make it 4-4. Have to say, Ibra is such a cunt. Clear foul on BFG….
carzola assist.. Giroud goal.. Will be getting used to that.. And just lovely watchin 2 arses hug each other lyk that.. Pure team spirit.. Even on international level.. Our team is in the right place..
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