Friday, April 19, 2024

Transfer Deadline Day: Arseblog News understands…

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11.52am: The official line from @arseblog: “I don’t know anything about the Honda rumour or if we can come to an Accord with his club.”

 

11.47am:  According to @emiliasport, Arsene Wenger is at Heathrow Terminal 5 sitting with Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas. The Portuguese coach, who once managed the British Virgin Islands, is only 34-years-old, has never played professional football but would bring experience (and a clipboard) to the centre of midfield.

 

11.34am: Samir Nasri loves Arsenal apparently. “This tweet is for the english newspaper stop trying to made something between me and arsenal i love this club and everything around it.”

All together now…

 

11.30am: Henri Lansbury sounds like he could be off to West Ham United. He’s not had much chance to prove himself since the start of the season, despite the fact we’ve been down to the bare bone marrow. Loan deal apparently…

 

11.25am: Nicklas Bendtner looks set to shun interest from Real Madrid and Barcelona (we’re lying) to join Stoke. Here’s what he had to say on Sporten.dk:

“It’s as close as it possibly can be. I’ve not signed anything, but expect clarification this afternoon.”

I think we can safely say that NB52 will be a Potter by 11pm. Tony Pulis is already stripped and ready for the welcome shower.

 

Did you know it’s Transfer Deadline Day? Did you? You did didn’t you…

As a means of captaining the good ship Arseblog News through the sea of shit which will no doubt be flooding Twitter today, we’ve decided to keep you updated with this page of rolling observations. We understand little and know even less. But heh, it could be fun right? 

 

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Nik

i understand Pythagoras’ theorem.

Masterwenger

So why is it not ‘theory’ but -em?

JoeRandom

Hypothesis:- A tentative explanation for an observation that can be tested by further investigation.

Theory:- A statement or principle devised to explain a group of facts especially one that has been repeatedly tested.

Law:- A statement describing a relationship observed to be invariable between or among phenomena for all cases in which the specified conditions are met: eg- the law of gravity.

Theorem:- (In this sense) A mathematical proposition that has been or is to be proved on the basis of explicit assumptions.

In short, a theorem is a proven theory.

Den

Only the arse could make a day like today fun. Cheers

pikkmikk

Not so sure Nick understands what he’s doing… I mean Stoke? Seriously?

Metal Martin

Whilst he’s playing for Stoke, he’s under no threat of Shawcross snapping his leg – sensible self preservation.

Oboe Tuba

Y’know, cause they never play each other as a striker versus defender in practice

Laitho

Hopefully he’ll get him in training!

Jamie

aaaaaaaaaaaand we’re offf!

William

I’d rather keep Nick tbh. Can’t help but think he’ll be a good player at Stoke.

cornishlee

Nah, Pulis probably sat down at the end of the season and thought to himself:

How can I improve this team? Hmm… the wingers are a bit small…

cornishlee

Disappointing re. Lansbury, but I can’t really think of any youth players Wenger’s got wrong.

Louis

Enjoying this,welldone.too much rubbish on the bbc’s live coverage.

cornishlee

Yep, like this:

1123: RUMOUR MILL
Rumour Mill
And this, people, is proper rumour material – Keisuke Honda, CSKA Moscow’s Japan international playmaker, is trending on Twitter with speculation building he is on his way to… Arsenal. We’ll keep you posted.

On the bright side, goonerfrank’s probably having a coronary as he reads that.

Johnny Massacre

Yo, if HONDA comes to Arsenal I will be mad happy, he is Japan’s best player by a MILE.

Sounds like bull, though.

rains

@Johnny Massacre
You didn’t watch the Asia Cup then. Honda was not their best player. Kagawa and Nagatomo were much more impressive, and still they gave Honda the Most Valuable Player award.
That said, I’d still totally welcome him to Arsenal if he did come.

Dave

I believe over the last 2 seasons, our hesitiancy in the transfer market has had a knock on effect with winning trophies, players being demoralised and then leaving. Now we see us getting into the market (too late for the PL this season). If only we had got ourselves into the transfer market at the beginning of last season, or even in January. Maybe we would have lifted a trophy (or 2), maybe Nasri (even Cesc) would have stayed and the squads confidence would have been lifted and then the likes of Mata, Hazard even Kaka would be requesting to… Read more »

chris

Its only been 3 games yeah fair point we left it late with transfers like we tend to do but with the extra additions we should be able to compete for trophies. Just remember at the start of last season Chelsea were on fire and look what happened to them they had a horrid time midseason. Every top team will drop points its just going to be a question of when and can we capitalise on their mistakes.

Dave

Chris, lets just hope the one or two signings made before 11pm are of pure quality, that will give the dressing room a lift, a presence and for that to be taken out on to the pitch..
The fans (supporters, vocal followers) should then be able to act as our 12th man again and let the good times roll..
Until that time, im trying ultimately hard to share your optimism.. But will continue to support.. even harder…

Masterwenger

Why, oh why, can we not have Goetze?

Truegooner

Because we are playing Dortmund in two weeks, he’s happy there, Dortmund are a big club,….

Chrispy

If M’vila and one of Honda/Martin/Hazard signs today, I’m going to be arrested for shooting my load in my pants in a public place. I swear!

perrygrovesworld

I believe, and i may be wrong here, but if you keep the pants on and keep the facial expression limited to something akin to na$ri being fisted by Brian Marwood its not deemed an arrestable offence.

Rectum Spectrum

even if you told people ‘i have just ejaculated in my pants’ i don’t think its illegal. no offensive language, nothing on show.

keep the pants on, don’t sware, jizz away.

disclaimer: i have no experience in this matter and am unfamiliar with the laws concerning this area, and of most laws in general.

Graham

Bendtner on the end of all those long throws and hoooooooofs could be quite handy.

Kp

na$ri is a cunt

notasgoodaspires

ARTETA AND ANOTHER CENTER BACK (AS IM GREEDY) AND ALL GOOD IN THE EMIRATES HOOD! ILL TAKE CAPITALS OFF now…

Lennon

I’m at Gatwick Airport and I’ve just been told that Nasri’s a cunt.

Rectum Spectrum

LOL! i wish we lived in a worl;d where the BBC could print that on their transfer updates with those other ‘my cousin is outside the britania and has just seen…’ stories.

maybe that would be a bad bad world……..

JJ

Can someone translate this France Football article about Honda to Arsenal?

http://www.francefootball.fr/rechercher/#!/news/2011/08/31/090033_honda-le-bon-coup-d-arsenal.html

Kp

Arsenal could make a nice stroke on the summer market transfers on Wednesday, by enlisting Keisuke Honda (25 years, photo-Sports Press). According to Sky Sports, the Japanese international midfielder has arrived from CSKA Moscow to London to undergo the mécidale prior to the signing of its contract with the Gunners.

JJ

Cheers for translating, just vague rumours again then…oh well…

Sim

@JJ next time just go the page in a browser like Chrome (or maybe even Firefox). You’ll be given the choice to translate the page. I just wen to the page, clicked on the translate button and got the exact same English as above.

chris

The Honda story rumours looks like a possible no go
http://twitter.com/#!/tomEurosport/status/108853532878311424

ha

i hope Nick B stays and sell Chamakh instated. why is he going to stoke? surly he can go somewhere better than that shit hole

Fed up of Barca

Maybe Bentdners giving up everything for the team, perhaps he’s gone up there with a bomb under his coat and he’ll blow the fuckers away.

Let’s be honest – a world without Stoke in it can only be a good place

Jamie

….so with another midfielder, Lansbury, off now. What exactly the fuck is going on?

(arYse)

What the…This blog is awesome.

Nik

my friend would like to know if there is a stream for sky sports deadline day nonsense. it is not for me. oh no, most certainly not.

Jamie

Tim Payton of AST is on SSN now.

mjc

Joe Cole off to Lille on loan according to Liverpool official website. Could this mean that Hazard will be leaving Lille???

Adam

Ireneusz Jelen also joins Lille. He is a winger / striker
http://www.losc.fr/actualite-foot-lille/infos-club/ireneusz-jelen-rejoint-le-losc

Getting their replacements in line before losing Hazard?

Rectum Spectrum

please jesus. please.

i’d even like to see benayoun brought in for strength in depth. great pro, top man. him and hazard.

Jamie

@Nik

http://goo.gl/5cZmu

P.s sorry if this link appears a million times. Not sure if it is sending properly.

Nik

great. my friend is very grateful.

Jamie

If your ‘friend’ can stand more than 5 minutes of SSN bullshit, then they are a better man than my friend….I mean me.

Rectum Spectrum

holy fuck my friend just followed that link and watched ssn for TWO FUCKING MINUTES and the clip they show of santos is of him elbowing someone in the face. seriously, fuck sky. my friend said. fuck sky.

Jamie

“Cole signs Lille deal. Late interest from Villa doesn’t sway him. Interesting talk #LFC now have first option on Hazard. ”

@philmcnulty

….balls.

Truegooner

If hazard goes to Liverpool,….

perrygrovesworld

Would be great if the Honda rumour was true. I can just see him at the Civic reception at the town hall after we win the league. I will get, actually have got, my coat. . . .

Midfield Corporal

I was thinking/hoping the same thing MJC.

I’ve just spent the morning listening to Talkshite Radio. I believe they have a sign hanging in the reception saying you don’t have to be a cunt to work here, but it helps’.

Dede Nigeria

Wow! I felt u guys over there in england would have had a showdown with the board asking them for a new coach…….

Midfield Corporal

What, like a gunfight. It’s far easier Dede to moan about it on some Internet forum but essentially do nothing.

Is Nigeria aware that Na$ri is a cunt. If not please spread the news my friend.

Gooner In Red

He came to us when Nasri left…..Chu young …Chu Young
And not a lot of cash was spent…..Chu young …Chu Young
He’ll take the ball and he will score and then he’ll eat your Labrador…..Park Chu young …Arsenals number 9!!

Peter

ha!

Sean

simply amazing

shit_the_bed

I have this theory that if we all work together we can start a transfer rumor that will gain so much momentum that it will become unstoppable.

And we all know what happens when something becomes unstoppable..? IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS!!

This is *guaranteed* to work.

So come on then who shall we get? I hear Tevez would like to be closer to home. How about 200 miles closer Carlos?

Midfield Corporal

Samir Na$ri to sCUNThorpe

She wore

One of my sources has just told me that nasri is indeed a cunt

She wore

Let’s do a cunt top ten, I ll start us off with nasri and Adrian cuntface Durham (talksport)

Carlito ElGuapo

Stan ‘i like to punch women’ Collymore

Truegooner

I still think Adebayor is a bigger c word than Nasri

Truegooner

Robbie Savage and ESPN commentator Tommy Smyth…Gary Neville

perrygrovesworld

Chris pelanty Waddle

Fed up of Barca

Adrian Chiles (just because is a pug faced cunt)

vox in Oz

joey cunt barton

Sean

piers morgan

rains

Tony “shit shower” Pulis

Carlito ElGuapo

So what are the chances of Wenger bringing in somebody we have not been linked with yet?

She wore

Evra and shawcross, I d throw both of those into a Taiwanese buggery pit

Midfield Corporal

Obviously Paul Scholes is a cunt, and a ginge.

She wore

I m not sure ten is going to be enough, I met celebrity man u fan James nesbitt once he sucks his thumb and was an utter cunt

Arsene's Wonga

This can’t be real

It’s like Ebay, if you dont bid enough there will be another one along in a few minutes!

chris

Adrian Chiles and Andy Townsend too annoying cunts

chris

*Two not too

perrygrovesworld

I think either spelling would be ok on that front Chris

She wore

Better leave it there, don t want this turning into cuntblog, sorry one last cunt-John Terry the king of cunts

sandhup

Isn’t Bendtner injured or something? I’m pretty sure I Arsene is quoted as saying it was a 3 month injury or was it 3 weeks…………?

Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that perhaps he failed the medical, but I am hoping it was more like Bendy telling Pubis how crap his team is!

Also, is there any truth in the Arteta stories? I recall Arsene saying “Nnnnnnnnno” in his post 8-2 press conference, when asked if a offer had been made?

Nik

there’s lots of talk of offers “being prepared”. another piece of nonsense transfer talk. you don’t prepare an offer, you just fucking make it.

cornishlee

Hear hear.

Is that Nik Bendtner?

GM

It takes a bit of time. They’re putting Marouane Chamakh to use by dressing him up as a geisha and sending him on a sedan chair with the offers to the clubs involved in the hope that they’ll be so confused upon his arrival that they won’t notice the size of the fee.

Abdus Samad

Its all gone quiet now.. Blogger do you see us signing anybody or is this it for us on the transfer front?

[…]  More to come?  Possibly.  I’m following all the Arsenal deadline day news from Arseblog news.  It’s a live, auto-updating feed of all the info that gooners need to […]

cornishlee

1432: And it would appear Arsenal’s signing of Park Cho-young has slipped off our radar. We can only assume a work permit has been granted for the South Korea captain, as he has been speaking to the official website, saying: “I will work very hard, I will train very hard and I will show that I am able to be part of this Arsenal team.” Which is nice.

Only missed by 24 hours. Good work BBC!

JJ

HA ha ha ha ha ha ha …Couldn’t even get into the first team of relegated Birmingham,
ha ha ha ha ha ha

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,12875_7140389,00.html

Austin DeChief NIGERIA

This is simply the best Blog on the web. Rest assured Gunnerz; The whole Nigeria is aware na$ri is a Chief cunt!

Trevor

Come on Arsene, spend that cheddar! This is what happens when you wait until the 11th hour to do transfer business!

chris

Surely if we where to bring super quality to the club he would need to get out the stilton.

cornishlee

No. 11 for Santos? There I was thinking maybe squad numbers might start to mean something again.

JJ

should have been given 22

JJ

Hope Mertesacker gets no. 4

cornishlee

4 should be a defensive mid in my book.

Arthur

Just wanted to say great job with this TDD arseblog, it’s a good way to spend a day at work, throwing and alt+tab from time to time to check the updates and who knows, maybe even to find news of a big last moment signing at the club

Budagooner

smoking and ball games are banned in our office, but heh, don’t let that stop you having fun.

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