Arsenal have confirmed that Robin van Persie was back at London Colney yesterday and that the Dutchman is eager to sort out his future as soon as possible.
It remains to be seen where the professional pig bladder kicker will be playing next season and with pretty much every piece of tittle-tattle and gossipy supposition contradicting the next it looks as though it will stay that way for a while longer.
No doubt harangued into giving a statement by The Sun, a club spokesperson cautiously outlined the current state of affairs in as mundane terms as possible.
“Robin returned to training on Monday as expected and made it clear he wants to sit down and resolve the matter of his future, either way, as soon as possible. No date has yet been agreed for that meeting.”
It is possible that no date has been agreed for many reasons. Perhaps Steve Bould has locked Robin in the gym and is forcing him to do extra star jumps and lunges as a punishment for being a wantaway git.
Coerced into a cupboard by Vic Akers it’s not impossible that Van Persie is currently being forced to unpack box after box of the new away kit until his eyes bleed purple tears.
Perhaps Arsene is making him wait outside his office by doing the ‘talk to the hand’ gesture so beloved of teenage American girls in badly acted television programmes about teenage American girls.
It’s not inconceivable to believe that our Dutch ‘captain’ has been left dumbstruck by the sight of part-time models Olivier and Lukas rubbing baby oil on each other in the changing-rooms.
Perchance the 29-year-old…blah, blah, blah…