Thursday, June 13, 2024

Arsenal v Fulham – single word review and player ratings

Time to trawl the dictionary and thesaurus for our single word player review and ratings after yesterday’s 3-3 draw with Fulham.

Please note, we reserve the right to invent our own words at any time. Or, when circumstances dictate, use more than one word which may or may not include words we’ve invented.

Vito Mannone: 2/10 – Linestuckian

Bacary Sagna: 6/10 – Sturdy

Per Mertesacker: 6/10 – noproblematical

Laurent Koscielny: 6/10 – trymungous

Thomas Vermaelen: 5/10 – droppable

Mikel Arteta: 4/10 – penalised

Francis Coquelin: 5/10 – cheeseyhelmet

Santi Cazorla: 5/10 – firework

Lukas Podolski: 6/10 – pokey

Theo Walcott: 8/10 – confusing

Olivier Giroud: 9/10 – nogginariffic


Aaron Ramsey: 2/10 – broken

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain: 6/10 – movementy

Andrei Arshavin: 5/10 – splonked

Feel free to discuss and post your own ratings, but normal comment policy applies. If you’re not familiar with it, please read.

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Ah, what special is this blogs?

Dr Baptiste

That sentence made my head bleed… What?

Arsenal NZ

I think I climax every time Giroud celebrates a goal, hope him and walcott continue this streak of form!


Me- 10/10. – downbutstillovesthearsenal

North Bank Gooner

shame i can only thumb this up once!!


What a nice thing to read!


That’s the spirit.



Aren’t we all? The word you’re looking for is “Gooner.”

Best in the World

overall – bollocks


and in walcotts case – sore buttocks


Great result, keeps us in contention for a top half finish.

No sarcasm whatsoever.

dink arnold


Runcorn Gooner


Graham Gooch

Arsene Wenger is going on

Cygan's Magical Left Foot

Don’t you ever learn, you can’t say a bad word about the Arsene here no matter how foolish the 7 million a year man is!!!!. Arron Ramsey keeps playing ahead of Arsha and Ox is REALLY disturbing. He loves Arron for sure, but I am sure he loves his 7 million a year more. If he keeps playing his pet project Ramsey, he wouldn’t be able to make Stan the Yank enough money to keep his job. I have been saying here for two years, Arsene has lost it. The man who start to talk about the economy of Europe,… Read more »


Listen, all of us wants whats best for Arsenal(well most of us, anyway), point is you asking Wenger to step down or me asking him to stay forever will end up as an online argument and nothing more. The board decides on that, and unfortunately are made up of people who are willing to let things continue the way they are. The real question is, if the board so decides, is there really a proven manager better than Wenger who would be willing to come and turn things around for Arsenal. My humble opinion is no, and so its better… Read more »

Cygan's Magical Left Foot

Are you really that passive? With a wage bill of 143 million a year and a 7 million wage we couldn’t find a manager to get us better than fourth and win a cup against the like of Brims???? W And, I can see what is coming Arsene’s way I have been saying for two years here and read my lips again. ARSENE HAS FINISHED, HE WILL NEVER THE LEAGUE EVER AGAIN FFB or not he is the Brain Clough and Arrigo Sacchi in their later years. They were great but lost is, just as Arsene did. P.S. STOP loving… Read more »

Graham Gooch

Team, 5 out of 10

Wenger, averaged over past three seasons
1 out of 10

Board, minus 5


We don’t need to know what you just said on that other post on every single other post on Arseblog News. You can instead go to Le Grove.


I can’t help but feel that these articles would be funnier in the aftermath of us getting 3 points…


Sigh..we live in hope. I don’t know what can be done with this team at this stage. Can’t sack the manager, can’t buy players. And if we don’t arrest this slide, no one in their right mind would want to sign for us in January! Dear me.

Casual Gunner

Just a couple of points and thought I’d like to get across after a disappointing result. Interested to see what others thought of Podolski yesterday? I feel he’s been struggling quite a bit lately. Maybe he needs a bit of a breather? Santi (God bless his cheeky little face) has also seemed a tad off the pace and could probably use a little bit of rest. Vermaelen was probably better than he has been lately and hopefully he finds that level that he is capable of once again. I rarely Ramsey-bash but I think he had a pretty bad time… Read more »


What do you expect when players are constantly played out of position?

Cygan's Magical Left Foot

I am really surprised no one mention Arshavin and he only got 5!!!!.

Did anyone saw how fast he sprinted for that ball on the added time?? He caused three corners and the pen in the space of 5 mins. I think he is like Theo has a point to prove now the team is sliding down and I believe Arsha will do for us what he did when he first arrived 4 years ago and pull us to top four.

Mark my words.


I just realized a theory about Arshavin. Let me put it out there. Arshavin is a very capable player but he’s on he;s last year. The club has already decided to get him of the wage bill because Ramseys a highly capable replacement (sigh…) . So the club cant play him regularly , for fear he might pull us out of this shitty phase we’re going through. if that happens surely the fans would demand that Arshavins contract be extended which goes against the clubs plans for revenue next year. Remember the objective is to make at least 15mil annually,… Read more »


I really feel sorry for Chamakh…he is very similar to Giroud and loves aerial battle but he was never provided the service because 1. walcott was still crossing the ball all over Z row 2. no one else bothered to cross or actually no one knew how to cross the ball across the danger zone where chamakh could plunder goals 3. RVP was banging in goals left, right and center I would love to see Chamakh and Giroud play together…imagine the panic it will create in defense because of their aerial prowess, santi with his mazy runs , walcott and… Read more »


What I don’t get is ……Wenger has managed Bergkamp,Henry,Vieira etc he has gone unbeaten in a season and won the the double. He obviously knows a great player from a sub standard one. So how can he come out with this is the ‘best squad’,showed ‘great mental strength ‘ etc …..he is either lying for the sake of the board or more worryingly losing the plot. Either way,Leeds are going to have to knock Chelsea out of the COCup as there is no way we will win that as long as Chelsea are still in it. As for the league… Read more »

Dog Eat Arse

David Moyes would be a great option.


For relegation?


I can dream of Pep.

Ashburton Groover

But can Pep be prudent? He might share Wengers philosophy but can he count the pennies like the board demand?


Maybe we should tell the board to fuck off


The budget is the board’s problem, not yours. Pep’s job would be to win things with the budget put at his disposal. Full stop. Your job is to support the team. Nothing more is required of you.


Arsbleog hit the nail on the head..arsene can and arguably should be replaced and at most other clubs probably would have been, but that’s if you believe the blame lies at arsenea not sure it does, sure he has his faults, tactically he leaves you puzzled at times and his annoying habit of continuing with certain players that the rest of us just know they wil never be good enough for arsenal. But I honestly don’t think anyone else would get any more out of this team than arsene has done for the last seven years, yes maybe you… Read more »

The Loving Hands of Wenger


The Loving Hands of Wenger




Team overall – ohforfuck’ssake.

what the fuck was wenger on about when post match he said, “We have shown that we can fight”, how about we start showing that we can/must defend properly and keep a lead, a lead.

oh for fuck’s sake.


It’s a sad state of affairs when the only player who looks to carry the ball forward is Koscielny. Having Diaby back would double our go-forward.

Runcorn Gooner

It must be only 2-3 weeks away he said putting tongue in cheek

Dog Eat Arse

It’s a sad state of affairs when have to rely on a player who plays two-three games and then gets injured for the rest of the season. But the saddest thing
is you know it will happen, and you do nothing about it. Nothing.

Clichy's Bizarre New Hair

FORGET Diaby. Write-off, total loss. Vey sad but post-injury he has proven that his body simply can’t handle it, last injury was shooting the ball FFS. The club should try to get insurance payoff on him like a wrecked car.


Totally agree. He is done. Anyone citing RVP’s one glorious season as a reason to keep him really has no eye for the bigger picture. Ferguson has cast aside perma-crocks without too much sentimentality and gone on to win things. Wenger has not.


thought Laurent Koscielny deserved better, atleast an 8 – Undroppable


7 for me. He excelled much more in the second half, making absolutely amazing last ditch tackles and saving our asses at least twice.


Strange that refs have stopped being cunts and we still cant manage to win.
Arsenal situation – very strange.

Dog Eat Arse

The team this year 2.5/10: mentalcollapsesyndrome

Wenger this year 1/10: stubbornasamulesyndrome

Graham Gooch

Nothing will change till Wenger goes. He controls everything.
This is a team he bought and selected. He buys good players and makes them look ordinary.

We have a good squad and talented players. Yes we need a couple of world class signings. But more than anything we need a new manager


No need for you to bat on. Time to retire now…..

Graham Gooch

Mate, I retired years ago.
But supporting a team that can’t bat or bowl, well, they called me out of retirement. What should we do, Goochy?, they asked me.

Get rid of the French cunt manager, I said


“Get rid of the French cunt manager”….

Sorry, are you an actual moron? I don’t even know where to start with this sentence. Take your complete and utter bollocks elsewhere

The Loving Hands of Wenger

If we were to measure your intelligence against Arsene Wenger’s, I would say it’s like comparing the brains of an ant with alzheimer’s to the grey matter of Steve Jobs. I would love to see you and Wenger face to face, and you to give him some of your 11-year-old barb “You French cunt” only to watch him scythe you down effortlessly like the impudent peasant you are; your severed head rolling down the hill of sense, coming rest on the piss-stained doorstep of Le Grove.


Arsenal – notenoughcontinuity I have never been convinced by Wenger tactically, he always seemed to pull it off by remaining committed to a style of play, his so called “principles”. However, this team looks like it is not being coached properly. Beyond that there are simply too many new players, either some are not good enough or the team needs to gel (weirdly, after starting well). Two big transfer mistakes. 1. selling song 2. not buying Mirellas, who looks a great ball carrying forward. Couple that with bad yet predictable injuries and you have a very poor arsenal side. In… Read more »


don’t mean to be a Ramsey troll but le coq coming off caused many counter attacks for Fulham. I don’t understand wengers desire to always play him. He slows our game down and cannot make a forward pass. We struggle enough getting the ball around we don’t him making it harder.

Runcorn Gooner

No one seems to know why Ramsey was booked when Sidwell should have
got a 2nd yellow.Was it for trying to get Sidwell correctly sent off?
Dowd suddenly realised he hadn’t made a bad decision against AFC yet


In the previous passage of play, he fell over, lost the ball to Ruiz and then tried grabbing a handful of Ruiz’s shirt as Ruiz went on the break.

Good call actually, although it all seemed a bit weird given that the next break in play was Sidwell’s foul, which didn’t seem worthy of a yellow to be honest.

Runcorn Gooner

2-0 up our favourite score to scramble a draw from.


I really hope they buy Falcao or Dzeko the 1st january, but i guess that is hoping too much..


Dzeko and cavani. Falcao is just too expensive come on

Runcorn Gooner

AW says how great the effort was to get back from 3-2.
Arsene what decent team lets a 2-0 lead slip (twice in a week)
Don’t praise the mediocrity that occurred after we went 2-0 up.I was convinced
we were going to murder them but I should have known better from previous matches.This set of players currently do not have the ability or determination to
kill a game off.



Bould's Hair dryer

Is Steve Bould still our defence coach?


Giroud is looking like a looker who will be worth a lot of money at the end of the season. Mmmm more money for me and mr Stan he he… muahahahahah.

(slithers away down the sewers)


Dear Arseblog; I agree wholeheartedly with your summation of players single word review as mentioned above. My comment is based on quickly a team player confidence can turn. Having watched Arteta in the final 30 minutes once he conceded the penalty to Fulham, I knew without question he would miss the wining penalty ( the keeper stopped him). His game just deteriorated immediately thereafter and yesterday at the Emirates I saw a player whose confidence is in the red. Both him and Santi need a sunshine break for 7 days to recharge the batteries Those of you “creaming” for Bould… Read more »

North Bank Gooner

no, hes not the messiah, hes a very naughty boy! 😉


Oh Yes before I forget.
All we need is a 6 foot tall strong healthy midfield player who can tackle and pass forward and we will rock the EPL. Does Patrick Vieria got a younger kid brother in Senegal.


Diaby is that man.

Oh wait, you said “healthy”…


Movie rating

Vermaelen—termimator ( he seems dead but were not so sure)

Arteta— he seemed confused so, (dude where’s my car?)

Ramsey- total recall (it’s that hard to know if he’s for real)

Mannone — Armaggedon (its the end for him im afraid)

Giroud —- step up (he stepped up to the occasion)

And so on and so forth……

Dr Baptiste

I like how for Arteta you’d already forgotten your own format for listing the players and films. Also, the fact ‘Step Up’ was in there shows that you can’t be trusted.


Dont usually comment on this single word review articles. Think its dumb.
But since we;re on movies , how about

Arsenal team – “Dr. Strangelove” ?


I think blogs got alittle more education than the rest of us. Da fuq is this? Keep it simple or keep it to your goddamn self.

Arsenal – shitticus patheticus!!!!!!!!!!.

(that should sum it up for ya!)


Kos 1st half 3 2nd half 9 Gus/Martin
TV 2 Santossy
Wengers time may or may not be up but he’s no cunt.
Lets not forget who we’re playing next week no time for a civil war.


Now more than ever,I am convinced that Wenger has lost it. Presently I bliv this squad is far better than this display in last few weeks,I do not understand over and and over again we drop points to teams we should beat comfortably. I do understand if we drop to Citeh,Man Utd and Chelsea but to d like of Fulham,Norwich,Stoke, Sunderland,etc? Common! Can sum1 pls remind me the last time Wenger made a tactical substitution that won us the game? Have we been seeing SAF subs? Spot on! Who decides on which player to be bought? Who coaches the team?who… Read more »


Wenger – Sackable


Im not advocating that wenger should go here, but dont you think mourinho would get this arsenal team where it should be? Challenge for titles, not whimpering along through a season.
I know he is a bit of a numpty but he does know how to motivate a bunch of under performers and his teams generally know how to defend.

Just a membership number

From the minute Silent Stan took over, it was said we would end up a mid table sports franchise. Kept good enough to keep the stadium full and armoury busy, but never spend enough to really compete.

This is exactly as predicted, the only thing that has improved since his ownership is board salaries and profit.

It’s time for some action, fans must make themselves heard and not put up with it.

It does make you less of a supporter.

Dr Baptiste

The only problem is, Mourinho is a money manager. Yes he did well with Porto but they had a fairly large transfer fund (and were the biggest team in Portugal) and since, he’s only gone to clubs with essentially the unlimited funds cheat activated. It’s hard to know if he’s a very good manager or is just good at spending large sums of money to buy the best players and get them to play. It’s a bit like Guardiola. When you take over the best side in European football, that seem to have UEFA licking at your arse, it’s hard… Read more »

Dr Baptiste

Damn phone. This was in reply to xgunner14x.


We have money though, or so we are led to believe. Maybe it would settle the myth of whether whether there is cash or whether mr wenger is just too thrifty

Clichy's Bizarre New Hair

My take on the defence-these are four international-level defenders, and we know they can play excellent football, we’ve seen it. But it takes incredible desire to keep that top level up, and it takes a manager to continuously keep desire at the top, top level, either by carrot or stick (Fergie, Jose, etc), and tactics drilled in on the training ground then implemented on match day. We ain’t had that for a long while now…


far too harsh on mannone, the disorganised defense gave that guy a free header for the 2nd goal

should take some of the points off sagna and mert and give them to him


For the second goal a top class goalie would have saved that. So harsh to mannone is okay. He’s way too thick makes him less flexible. Bring back Schezzers, he’s also not world class but this is what we’re used to at arsenal.

[…] report – Player ratings – By the numbers – […]

Brian Healy

For a team whose only ambition is to qualify for the champions league only to scramble out of the group stage and go out second round we are drearily consistent in this achievement. Why are we surprised when seemingly talented young footballers under perform when our sights are set so low. ?


Harshad onn mannone he wasent thatt bad

Runcorn Gooner

Badly at fault for first goal.If not conceded scoreline would have been different
(Possibly).A forward should not be able to head in from that close at a corner.
Has done a decent job but we all knew Chesney would return sooner than later.
Far more inspiring character for team morale.


I cant believe Gooners actually believe we will sign Cavani for £30m!…..Lol no world class players wants to join us and what a coincidence the news broke (daily mail ofcourse) after the Fulham game! Papers and websites knew it would sell fast because we were on a low and news like this would get us all excited! This is what we will do. Bring back joel campbell and afobe after they have become miraculously world class over night. Probably sell walcott and fast track Gnabry into the team and say he’s been ready all along to do the job. Shut… Read more »

donal doherty

Being negative,Podolski’s absolute tripe on the left,he’s not quick or skillful and seems to have no desire to play there.move em inside.
Why is it when we can’t concede we can’t score and when we can score we concede 144,567.23 goals?
We are silly


I am undecided about zonal marking as we were always vulnerable at set pieces. I think our denfensive problems lie with poor communication. On paper all our defenders individually are a good standard. Apart from Santos who just simply has no idea. Collectively they don’t play well. No leadership. Vermaelen should be doing more to warn players when they are making mistakes. We miss Szczeny as he has leadership skills and cares when mistakes are made. He will be a top goal keeper in the future. Now he is not the finished article, which is why we badly need a… Read more »


Loved the blog today.
No wonder they call you daddy of all bloggers.

3 points in the toilet

Mikel Arteta: 4/10 – penalised 😀 thisone got me. That´s sad…


My one word review – Gibbs.
Since Gibbs got injured at WHU we have conceded 15 goals in 7 games and looked much less of a threat going forward. Can any other team in the PL be as reliant on a left-back???
Unfortunately it would appear that Wenger has lost the team and once that’s lost so is the manager.

5pur2 dr00L

And Gibbs has NEVER been reliable (I mean, he’s ALWAYS injured). Who did Wenger envision playing on the left? Obviously he rates Santos higher than we do.


Things need to change but where do you start. A win next weekend is absolutely essential. COYG’s


I would think we are losing our matches technically and to be honest that frightens me. Like Arseblog rightly puts it we have a stronger squad that should deliver more than they do but here’s my thoughts on why we’re not clicking as well as we should. Certain players developed partnerships too early. Take for example, Gibbs and Podolski. The left back ran the entire flank allowing the German to play more centrally. It’s no wonder Podolski suddenly looks like a tourist in games. More is required of him defensively and as a winger and quite frankly he couldn’t be… Read more »


That’s 2 games in row now that we blow a last second chance to turn a mediocre draw into an ugly win… 🙁


ok think i need to comment.. I’m really contemplating going on the wenger out band wagon.. Love the guy.. But at the moment more negatives than positives.. Yeah he done all this amazing stuff for us.. But done is the optimum word here.. II dont think money is ever an excuse.. Because compare our wage bill to man united.. Not much less.. And yet the gap between us is way too big.. Why couldn’t we pay that cunt 200+ a week..? No ways.. Our money is spread over weigh too much dead weight that we carrying.. players we are not… Read more »

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