Friday, March 1, 2024

Hepcat Wenger digging play-off possibility

Arsene Wenger says he’d ‘fancy’ a play-off game against Chelsea should results dictate that’s what’s necessary to decide third place.

If Arsenal win 2-1 and Chelsea draw 0-0, FA rule 49.b. section c.14, sub-section 12a, rule 87, paragraph 23, appendix 13f, says that we’d have to have a play off to see who goes straight into next season’s Champions League.

And hey, who wouldn’t fancy it? While it would be better for us to win 3-1 and for Chelsea to lose 15-0 to Everton, with John Terry being flattened by a 200 ton comedy ACME weight meant for Roadrunner, if this game were to happen it’d mean Arsenal have at least got a qualification game for the Champions League.

Not to mention the fact that we could finish third and have a much more relaxing August. At his press conference today, Arsene Wenger was asked about the possibility and said, “I would fancy it, but a play-off exists only if win the game. So let’s win the game and see what happens.

“The biggest task is to win the game and not speculate too much on what happens after because the first compulsory thing we face is to win the game on Sunday.”

And the Arsenal boss says he’s relishing the pressure of Sunday’s encounter.

“Sometimes you think it would be nice to have a game with no pressure,” he said, “but when you have one you think, ‘let’s get it back, it’s so boring’.

“What would be terrible would be to go to Newcastle and have nothing at stake for us. We have what we wanted so let’s just finish the job.”

Maybe Arseblog News is alone here, but we’d very much like to be going to Newcastle with ‘nothing’ at stake having already secured a top four finish, at the very least.

We remember the last day of last season. West Brom. We’ve been having flashbacks. And counselling. Remember how that final 25 minutes seemed like 25 minutes that went really, really slowly?

We’re gonna need a bigger boat … of whiskey.

Hold us.

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The Ox, The Ram, Willy and Wally

Would we play them at the end of this season, or the start of the next? Something tells me there gonna have a slightly more powerful team next season so would be kinda unfair….

The Ox, The Ram, Willy and Wally

Hopefully we will as well, it’s just that shouldn’t we be fighting for the champs league this season rather than next?

Arsene Wenger

It would probably be at the end of this season.

Keep in mind that Chelsea are ‘way stronger’ every season and it takes time for them to flow properly anyway.

Unless they have already appoint Jose ‘Always-beat-Wenger’ Mourinho very early on, we should be able to have a good shot at beating Chelsea at the end of this season.

Mikel Artekkers

It would be at the end of the season, look at this report.
The ticket printed for the planned playoff is also for end of May, so before they can bring anyone in on transfers, as well as the Premier League indicating they’d want to do it at the end of this season.


It would probably take place one or two weeks after the last matchday. between 22th of Mai and 2nd June.

Theo's Speed

22th of May would be preferable for us.


I was thinking 23th.




That’s all.


This Summer, it is highly likely that Chamakh, Park and Bendtner will all leave the club, leaving only Podolski and Giroud as natural centre forwards. I honestly believe Wenger is targeting 2 strikers, one a more known name such as Jovetic/Higuain and a young striker like Sanogo, with a shit load of potential.


Pre-game nerves two whole days before the game… Sunday is going to be HELL!


My wife invited people around…. haha i’m gonna either be the life and soul of the party or i am gonna p1ss on a parade – either way they have to put up with 2 hours of unbearable tension.

I will not suffer alone and unless my conditions as outlined above are met, i will tense the crap out of my friends.


Hell for spuds

Arsene Wenger

The FA has confirmed that the playoff, should it happen, will occur at White Hart Lane as Tottenham Hotspur’s punishment for pretending to be a big club since 1882.


Mind you Tottenham’s trophy record over the past eight years is better than Arsenal’s. Spurs won the league cup in 2008. So really it would be Arsenal pretending to be a big club since 2006 playing Chelsea who are indeed a big club, at White Heart Lane the home of North Londons premier trophy winning club in recent years.

Arsene Wenger

I suppose Wigan is a bigger club than us as well.

ponsbury heights

meh, i hope you are struck with incurable cuntitude. oh wait…

Red Cannon

Big clubs play in the Champion’s League, mate.


That’s Tottenham all right, the little brother that so badly needs attention that any success is magnified beyond all sense. -‘look a league cup; that makes us better than you!’. 2006? Try 2005, Wait, we won an FA cup , Spurs have not done that for 20 years. 2004? Oh, a league title; when did Spurs win that? The next win for us is just a matter of time. Big clubs compete all the time; even if they don’t win. 3 finals and close to 2 league titles since 2006 for us, but big clubs don’t make a big thing… Read more »

Johnny Jensen's Bender

Well put brother.

Just so everyone knows, FIFA/UEFA/THE CHUBBYSUITTOPCUNTCOMMITEE has us placed as the 6th biggest team in Europe. Based on national league position, champs league positions and subsequent knockout phases.

Tottingham are… who the fuckthecaresth

Johnny Jensen's Bender


You make winning the Mickey Mouse Cup sound like winning the Champions League. I guess if you’ve been starving your whole life a few crumbs taste like foie gras.


Arséne the adrenaline junkie.


There is the possibility of playing AC Milan in the play-offs. I simply ‘fancy’ us winning and them losing!

Arsene Wenger

Nah, I think we’re seeded, as are Milan. We would probably face one of the weaker sides.


Oh, I did not know that seeding was done in the play-offs as well. Thanks!

Midfield Corporal

I thought Twatini did away with seedlings in qualification rounds? Or did I dream that?

Midfield Corporal

Sorry, seedings.


You need to up your life experiences if thats even a remotely possible dream.

here is one to crack on with.

Platini reorganises uefa into a mud wreslting federation and arranges seedings for hot girls who must fight each in mud to face you in the next round.

but you haven’t got your homework done


I don’t want a play off with chelsea… i want to win the game by 3 and have scored those 3 before half time. I want 2 of those three to be penalties and the newcastle players that committed the fouls to be sent off. I do not want to go through a 1-2 win where we i have to worry about some roy of the rovers punt from a barcode ending up in the postage stamp and rippling the onion bag, or indeed any cliche. I want a second half of exhibition style passing football where we run the… Read more »


Sir, you are blessed with Top top top quality sense of humour!

John Terry

*takes a bow* Thank you, thank you. I accept your compliments gracefully.


John are you wearing your full kit?


That was pretty good. Haha.

John Terry

Appreciate it Shenaz.


Aarrghh have you been shagging my missus?


I have a pile of things to finish and submit on monday. I’ve decided not to touch any of them and rather come for THIS kind of company and humor here. If I get a warning from my supervisor, it’s your fault. ALL of you who will manage to keep me company untill Sunday, probably in the morning, when I will stay away from You ‘noisy’ lot to meditate alone.

John Terry

Anytime, Paul.


Two thumbs up for that haha!


Sorry. Obviously meant to upvote the comment

You really took the handbrake off for that comment, bravo.


I would love us to be in that play-off with Chelsea – it would mean that we had finished in the top four.

Even if we lost to the Chavs, our seeding for the CL qualifier would give us a great chance of going through.

The nightmare scenario is that we turn up at St James’s Park and play like we did at QPR and Fulham. Our luck could run out against the Magpies.

The good thing for us is that Spurs have to win: even if we lose they might fuck up.

Arty's Art

More football as well.

I’ll always take more football!


Top, Top, Top as a redknapp might use to describe some bag of sh1te spurs player? or do you really mean it?

This wait for the game reminds me of Anfield 89 – i almost don’t care what the result is i just want it all over (and the good guys to win – so i do care)

Cyril Washbrook

“I would fancy it, but a play-off exists only if WIN THE GAME. So let’s WIN THE GAME and see what happens. The biggest task is to WIN THE GAME and not speculate too much on what happens after because the first compulsory thing we face is to WIN THE GAME on Sunday.”

I’m sensing a theme here. 😀


Nice one Cyril. Now let me get this clear are your saying we need a win at Newcastle? England needed you at Lords today as my black caps dismissed your lot for 232.

Johnny Jensen's Bender

Still leading by 205 at the end of play today.

What did you manage in your first innings again?

Johnny Jensen's Bender

ERGH Cricket.

Fred Flintsteine

I agree with AW. Sunday is going to be an exciting day. Our cup final . Get the beers in, take away pizzas and just hope the boys play like they did during the week. COYG

Wart Lane

You can eat during a match?? You can eat during what is our cup final???????????


Yeah I’m on the bench for this one. AW allows a couple of bevvies on the last game of the season

Wart Lane

My preparation for a match consists of locking myself in a hole where I can smoke, along with my PC, and have access to lots of coffee. Nice to meet you 🙂


Di Canio has threatened his team of a short vacation if they take the game against Sp*rs lightly. After their 6-1 loss to Aston Villa, Di Canio is expecting his team to fight it out against Sp*rs and get something respectable from the game. While Pardew doesn’t care if they lose 4-0 to the Gunners. I am relatively relaxed as compared to the Wigan game, but still nervous!

Yankee Gooner
* apologies for NFL reference

Merlin's Panini

I love the Pat Rice cuddle photo.
Though if he tries that on with Bouldy at Fat Willy’s Shit Shack Arena on sunday I think we might need to find a new manager in the summer because there would probably be different bits of him flying around the four corners of the earth for days later.

“Fat Willy’s Shit Shack Arena” — LAUGH MY ARSE(NAL) OFF


Just win. Il worry bout about a playoff after. Just dont fuck this up boys please.


Holy shit Yaya Sanogo scored 4 goals against Laval and 3 the week after against Tours. That’s 7 goals in 2 games right there.
Ligue 2 is shit obviously, but still…


Mr Blog why do u dislike john terry so much?

Merlin's Panini

Here’s a hangman style clue:

B_c_u_s_ H_s A C_ nt


But U is already there


Pedantic. Heh… Sorry I just had to point it out.


You “are” already there.

Tsk Tsk

Merlin's Panini

You get the point.


Why not


When it comes to John Terry, I think the term ‘full kit wanker’ has never been more precise.


All Arsenal hates John Terry because John has played for a team which wins Premierships and the Champions league while Arsenal wins ummmm fuck all. This comment will be hidden to due to low comment approval ha ha ha. I speaks the truth though.


so u already know what your post deserves and still posted it. no wonder u r fan of the Big Man.


God you’re a cock. Why must we be from the same country…

Parisian Weetabix

David, no-one here enjoys your company, and if you stay inside being a troll on your computer much longer neither will you. Go outside.

Johnny Jensen's Bender

*WE, THE Arsenal, ALL hate…

Yes. Yes we do.

Midfield Corporal

If we did get to a play off I suggest Arsene sticks all the Stiffs such as Arshavin, Squillachi etc and send them out with the sole intention of maiming as many Chelsea ayers as possibly….similar to what the prison guards do to the cons in The Mean Machine. The thought of St Johns ambulance setting up a Field Hospital to treat the Chelsea casualties warms my soul.

Yankee Gooner

Could they actually be hurt by indifference?

Wart Lane

The most violent course of action 😉


Giroud to nick a hat trick on return to hit 20 for the season.


Yes quite a few have predicted a hatrick to the French dude. Hope they are right . Although a hatrick to any Arsenal player will do fine.

north stand

If Us and Chelsea end up level on points and goal difference shouldn’t it then be down to alphabetical order between them?
haha if only 😉



Screw goal difference, head to head records and alphabets… lets make a statement to the world about integrity.
sort the teams on the reverse of number / degree of lowllife, racist scum bags


Chelsea win Premierships, Europa leagues and Champions leagues. Arsenal wins uuummmm the Emirates cup he he he. Thumb me down boys and girls.


No thanks. An Everton win/draw and a 4-0 win for Arsenal on Sunday will be just fine.


Heres to the black cats ripping the roosters head off, the toughies destroying the blue bridge and the gunners bombarding the toon army with their cannons.

Leaves coat and slams the door.



DavidNew Zealand we would hate John terry even if he’d never won a lucky champs league final from the bench or any other trophy for that matter. You don’t speak the truth you’re just trying to agitate good honest gooners who have enough to deal with already this week. Go for a walk, I think I hear some sheep calling your name.


It would be a reasonably fun way to end the season in truth. No real pressure on, both teams would go for it so it should be entertaining. The loser won’t really care that they lost, the winner will have bragging rights. Would be a good occasion for both sets of fans.
As long as we get at least fourth, I don’t mind how it pans out.


FA rule 49.b. section c.14, sub-section 12a, rule 87, paragraph 23, appendix 13
This is the reason I come here hahahaha funny cunt!

Dirk Diggler

Personally, I love John Terry just for things like this:



Moot point, we won’t beat NC anyway so there won’t be a playoff.


That’s a bit negative isn’t it HP?? I might be dreaming, but didn’t we ream them like the buck toothed rednecks they are earlier this season?


Believe me , I hope more than anything I am wrong but I just think our luck has ran out this time, we have barely scraped by and as wigan showed we can only escape barely making it for so long.

Johnny Jensen's Bender

…Ninja troll


Good spot. And nice naming!

[…] 来源:[Arseblog News] […]

twisted cuntloks

that’s an hilarious comment from Wenger to wind Chelsea up.

[…] 来源:[Arseblog News] […]

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