Monday, May 20, 2024

Ratings of a season – part 3: Attack

Right then, the final part of our season review posts and after doing the defence, and mulling over the midfield yesterday, it’s time to analyse the attack.

Olivier Giroud – 7.5/10

While the HFB hasn’t convinced everyone 17 goals and 10 assists in his first season is far from a calamity. Took a while to get going, which is understandable because he was in a new team in a league, but has been solid overall. It certainly gives him a good platform to improve next season and if Arsene Wenger goes out and buys another this summer then we’ll have options, something the team lacked this season.

Highlight of the season: The goal against Sp*rs may not have been his best, but illustrated his ability close to goal as well as any other, and he scored more goals from inside the 6 yard box than any other Premier League player this season.

Lowlight of the season: A bad miss on the first day of the season, could have given us all three points.

Season trivia: Set to star in a biopic of Charles Aznavour, directed by Eric Cantona

Next season: May have competition for his place which will hopefully be something he and the team thrives on.

Theo Walcott – 8/10

Had more consistent patches than in any other season and statistically has had his best season by a long, long way. 21 goals and 14 assists is up there with the best in the league, so while there are frustrations about his game, it’s impossible to argue with the numbers.

Highlight of the season: A pair of hat-tricks (against Reading and Newcastle), and hugely important goals in the run-in against QPR and Man United.

Lowlight of the season: That patch of inconsistency which coincided with him signing his new contract.

Season trivia: His latest book, 50 Shades of TJ, is proving a massive hit with middle-aged housewives and priests alike.

Next season: Fingers crossed he can do it again, and as he matures, produce more.

Lukas Podolski – 7/10

16 goals and 11 assists is a good return considering he was substituted more often than any other player in history, missed a good chunk of games and was carrying an injury through most of the season. Seems to enjoy life at the club and is far from the failure some pundits have claimed.

Highlight of the season: Arsenal’s goal of the season against Montpellier in the Champions League. Oh, and this.

Lowlight of the season: Missing the away trip to Bayern Munich where he would undoubtedly have scored a load against his former club.

Season trivia:  Having invented techno music back in 1992 has now fashioned a brand new musical instrument which he calls the Bumblecrip.

Next season: Despite the good numbers it’s hard to see exactly where he fits into the team. Seems to lack the engine to play wide and the presence to play up front on his own. Perhaps his future depends on a change of system, but hopefully he can kick on next season.

Gervinho – 5/10

Early season goals and promise? Why Mr Gervinho, with this effectiveness you are spoiling us. Then he took the Fererro Rocher away and replaced it with the crumbly bits from the bottom of a box of Coco Pops. Bleurgh.

Highlight of the season: A two goal salvo against Southampton, one of which saw him hit the ball with real power.

Lowlight of the season: Bradford. Now let us never speak of this again.

Season trivia: Was offered a job as a lighthouse because of his intensely shiny dome.

Next season: If somebody offered us some money for him, or he could be used as part of a deal for a player we want (Gonalons *cough*), then it’d probably best for all concerned if he played somewhere else next season.

Andrei Arshavin – 0.01/10

He arrived a genuine star but this season played just 79 minutes of Premier League football. People are quick to blame Arsene Wenger for not using him correctly but seem all too willing to overlook the fact Arshavin is an overweight, unfit lazy pudding.

Highlight of the season: Played pretty well against Reading in the Capital One Cup, to be fair.

Lowlight of the season: Coming on as a sub at Stamford Bridge. When Arsenal need a goal, the game just passed him by and he never tried to get involved. That was the last time he ever pulled on an Arsenal shirt.

Season trivia:  Is now fully behind a woman’s right to drive a car and will contemplate them having the vote if his demands are met.

Next season: Somewhere else as his contract expires at the end of June.

Marouane Chamakh – 0.5/10

Scored twice against Reading in the Capital One Cup, good goals too, but other than that made no impact on our season whatsoever. Shipped out on loan to West Ham, where he didn’t feature at all from the end of January. Waster.

Highlight of the season: The goals referenced above.

Lowlight of the season: Everything else.

Season trivia: Has a major crush on Sarah Palin but is banned from Alaska in case he slips into the season and causes another Exxon Valdez.

Next season: Bordeaux say they’ll take him back if they don’t have to pay anything. We should pack his bag, and give him an envelope full of £20s just to make sure.

Please note: Ratings as provided by Arseblog and the Arseblog News Hound are based on our overall feeling, rather than an aggregate of their scores in the post-match ratings articles.


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Theo was much improved this season, more of the same please!


i still like Arshavin ,hope he doesnt retire and goes to a bpl team so can watch him play without the burden of him getting back to defend.
He can be someone like maloney of wigan next year.


Agree and think he deserves a higher rating than Chamakh! But I still think both would come good again with game time and patience but we can’t really afford them any of those two as we really do need to kick on and challenge for titles again.

Shame, if they both played well in their ‘prime’, then they could’ve been massive players for us.

Arsene's bottle of water

That just comes to show Arseblog’s contempt toward the player. He keeps banging on the drum of “playing out of position is no excuse” but is quick to use that same excuse for Ramsey and Podolski. Double standards and all that, go figure… Look at Cazorla when he plays as a winger, he’s far less effective there. Arshavin is exactly the same case as Podolski (except he’s older than the German): he doesn’t have the stamina to run up and down the flank, not to mention his pathetic defensive skills. But I’ll tell you what: Arshavin has an eye for… Read more »


The difference is that Podolski scored goals when out of position, and Ramsey worked his arse off, while Arshavin did fuck-all and tried to do fuck-all.

Cazorla is less clearly effective, but he plays an important part. It’s like the difference between Arteta going from attacking to holding midfielder. His contributions are not as dramatic or obvious, but they are essential.

I blame him for putting his love of gastronomy before the desire to be anything remotely close to healthy.

Bould's Eyeliner

That’s the main thing though isn’t it, potential really doesn’t mean squat if he can’t even get bothered to try in a game. And after all, its Wenger’s judgment that matters, not ours. And after a game where he noticeably did not do anything, he never even made it to the bench again. No one even thought about it when Giroud saw red, even though that would have been as sure as any opportunity for a striker to prove their worth. I don’t dislike Arshavin, but I can see where the contempt comes from, when it seems like he just… Read more »

Red Cannon

Except that Podolski does play defense. And he’s been playing through injury all season. I’d argue with blogs about him not being effective on the wing as well. He’s probably the best crosser on the team. And before his injury early in the season, he showed great pace as well. I agree that we haven’t gotten what we should have from Podolski this season, but I think he’s been hampered by injury for most of that time.

Rambo's jungle knife

I wouldn’t mind having the Arsh back next year. With a renegotiated contract, it might even spur (pun intended) him to increased productivty and efficiency…..


Wasn’t “theo’s” hatrick against reading actually Santi’s?


Theo scored a hat-trick in the 7-5

I have a name?

Capital one cup hat trick in the 7-5?


Oh yeah, sorry!
Although one of the goals was more a Walcinson, or a Jenkincott goal…

Bould's Eyeliner

Definitely Walcott’s goal, with maybe some Jenkinsurance coverage.

Brian Mendoza

Podolski sure is a happy fella. Love the guy. Hell, I love all of them.


I could look at that picture all day. Fucking love it.


Thankfully nobody pulled that Kenwyne Jones type prank at Arsenal. You walk into the dressing room and ask “who put a severed horses head on the bonnet of my car?” and you see Podolski smiling at you for no fucking reason.

Burn Baby Burn

Absolutely love this guy. Would love to know Poldi’s minutes per goal this season. I would imagine that 16 goals in the number of mins he played is an excellent return.


Analyzing your reviews, it’s emerging a path: while our first XI is pretty solid, it is the lack of replacement that is proving so costly. I think that signings like Nacho are what we need: proven players who have to fight for their places. I mean, if in Bayern Munich they have Muller, Kroos, Ribery, Robben and from the next season Gotze, we surely can cope with some competition.


Yes we have barely 15 quality players when fit and depended heavily on a basic 12 for the last ten games.
The rest were very poor buys, badly out of form, injured or deadwood. This came about as a result of years of very poor signings. Whoever signed all the crap should be shot . Thankfully things have improved over the last two seasons and getting rid of deadwood can only help.

Clock End Mike

I give up.


A bit generous to giroud imo. 7/10 for me especially considering kos got the same rating.
Who would have thought that our defence would be better than the attack! 2nd best defence in the league is an impressive achievement.


There wasn’t a good defence in the whole of the premiership this season. Rather than being 2nd best we were the 2nd least poor defence.

Bould's Eyeliner

I think that’s just how the FA wants the game to develop… honestly, it’s a lot harder to defend when the ball is designed to move faster, curve more sharply… etc. That and defensive moves with shit referee decisions giving penalties everywhere except when it matters and people’s legs get smashed… etc…

Oh and people pay more to see goals wazoo. I think this makes sense.

*sips coffee*

Mikel Artekkers

Replace *sips coffee* with *puts on tin foil hat*

Bould's Eyeliner

they are not mutually exclusive!


“50 shades of TJ”

50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey

He’s related to me


Out of all three reviews (defense, midfield, attack), I am really curious what this column will look like next May. Three new faces, you would think, and three out the door. Wonder which ones? (Before you get going, that’s a rhetorical question, or at least I’m hoping against hope it is.) If the three left over can do what they did this year or better, and the three new faces are fecking awesome, we’ll be beyond worrying about fourth and all that and can go for the league. Right? Right? I know they won’t buy three top strikers, but maybe… Read more »

Badman Flinty

Great point. We’ve been okay goals-wise. We just scored plenty of goals that weren’t hugely vital. We lacked those vital CL knock-out goals and the winning/equalising goals against Man utd, Man City etc.


Yes 7 against Newcastle means f##k all when we lose 2-1 to Man U or 1-2 to Chelsea. We need more goals in the big games.


Personally I thought giroud’s performance against Brighton was world class, two of our best goals he scored that day but otherwise ratings pretty much spot on

glory hunter

Wow you gave Theo an 8!!!!!
I guess you dont hate the guy after all 😉

North Bank Gooner

No, he hates him. He should be talking about how photogenic TJ is, and how he is great with kids, and has a pretty girlfriend, making him a sexual tyrannasaur. And how he single-handedly saved the club by accepting that derisory contract.

Instead he keeps banging on about the way he plays.




I predicted 7.5.


I predicted a riot.

[…] on Arseblog News, they’re here in parts 1 – defence, 2 – midfield and 3 – attack. Ratings are, of course, subjective and not meant to be definitive. Argue, debate, discuss, by all […]


Theo, Poldi and Giroud got Arsenal fourth place and into ECL last 16. The defence is better now so should concede a few less goals. So to me to be truly competitive we only need another twenty heavy goals per season. We would then turn losses into draws and draws into wins. We could simply get five more goals each from Poldi, Theo, Giroud and a few from the OX. Another 15 goal striker or attacking midfielder would be more than enough to win the title. I just hope Arsene does not get cold feet and decides to sell someone… Read more »


Sorry if this is out of context but hey . With the first choice ch pairing established – why not retrain verm as a def mid. ? He’s a great passer, can finish, and has more footballing skills than an av def. I’d love to see him tried in that role and buy a world class ch to replace him.

Merlin's Panini

The trouble with Vermaelen is his defensive discipline. Both roles need it. He’s been caught out going forward too often this season so if he sorts that out and cuts out the brain farts (eg passing the ball straight to THAT cunt) then he’ll be fine as a central defender, as well as potentially a defensive midfielder. I’d rather see him find form at the back and give the captaincy to someone who can handle it (either Arteta or Per).


Because the Ramsey and Arteta link has been a fortress as well? The two best partnerships we have at the moment are the ones that got us 4th – the CB’s and the CM’s.


a tad too generous on giroud.lets not get too carried away and easily pleased. Now that we are used to his hunky face, lets now yearn more for his inner beauty in the coming season if you get what i mean.


That’s all good and dandy. Great blog. We have a decent attacking squad. But those goal stats are seriously skewed by some games with freakish numbers (reading, newcastle, etc.) We need someone who can score against good teams. The number of points we got against top 6 teams is really not up to scratch. Hell, even the totties have got a better result against big teams than us. that’s just unacceptable. but then Arsene may say “we’ve got Park, Bendtner, Denilson, Campbell and Ryo, who all made tremendous contributions to their respective teams. “. I hope he’ll prove me wrong.… Read more »


Giroud doesn’t look anything like Charles Aznavour, although he is also french

what you meant to say was Alain Delon 🙂


He’s a bit pretty, but he ain’t that pretty 😉


Like someone stated on a previous post.
Please i just don’t want to hear/read fabregas rumours
Still my favourite player of this generation of footballers and cant bare rumours linking him to us.. Freaking torture playing with my feelings like that


It’s better than those fabregas to united rumours…thats downright disgusting.

Dick Swiveller

And when you remember he’s friends with RvP it makes you feel even sicker as it seems possible.


Arsenal get first privilege and besidez it’s fabregas.. Not cunt.. He and the Arsenal are secret lovers.. She has a special place in his heart..


I’d have said Gervinho’s best moment (and I only remember it because there aren’t that many to choose from) was his powerful, instinctive strike against Chelsea.

BOOSH! And he’ll never score one like it again.

Merlin's Panini

That was a fantastic strike.


This is just a personal assessment of, not the individuals, but the shape we play. I was watching the Barca Valladolid match and even though we set up the same i.e. ball playing central midfielders who can pick a pass and pacey wide men to get in behind, I noticed despite our similar shape, we do things very differently. (Please note this next part will sound like I am wanking Sangria from Barca’s fruity teat but they do clearly have a system which works so comprehensively). To draw comparisons to players, Xavi plays a very much Santi role, sitting in,… Read more »

Weed Wisdom

The reason is: they don’t know how to mark in Spain. You’ll never see sliding tackle or even normal tackle in La Liga. I don’t know if it’s because their refs give away red cards like a candy, that the defenders are afraid to be sent off, but you’ll get annoyed when you see Dani Alves and Jordi Alba dancing past 2-3-4 defenders without anyone daring to kick the cunts in the balls. If players do the same in the EPL, they’ll likely get clattered. Fact: La Shita Liga had the most sending-offs this season, most of them were ridiculous… Read more »

Dick Swiveller

That is part of it but since our midfield has started firing on all cylinders (since about January imo) there have been issues with our forwards not creating enough space with their movement, especially when Theo dropped off in form and our full-backs weren’t ‘on it’.

I think it’s something we aspire to do with this system and when it works we’re very dangerous, one of the reasons we need a few attackers full stop, not just strikers.


The idea that Arshavin wasn’t used correctly is rubbish. Its an example of how people read an opinion, repeat it, and it becomes the accepted truth even when its not. Our memories are clouded. When he arrived, who was playing ‘in the hole’? Yes that’s right Cesc Fabregas. Should Fabregas have been pushed wide? Maybe pushed to the bench? Of course not. Then, 2 and half seasons later Fabregas left, Arshavin had become, through his own laziness a shadow of the player he could have been. I don’t want to read that Wenger ruined Arshavin again. Arshavin needed to realise… Read more »


In other news, neighbours saw a white cock slump from some basketball in North London on Sunday evening. It was initially thought that it had been GUNned down by it’s more dominant rival but medical reports have since confirmed that the thought of yet again living firmly in the shadow of his Red, gun-wielding, rival was too much for its poor, over-stretched heart. Police have confirmed that this is likely going to be the position FOREVER as they are in no position to stop the brutal domination. PS: Wonders what will happen to the cock when its rival wins the… Read more »

The Ivorian

Probably agree with the rating but disagree with the highlight for Gervinho. I can’t remember who we were playing against but he put in an absolutely sublime performance getting four assists in one game. He really did flourish when called upon and left me with a much improved opinion of him. I grant you probably not up to the Arsenal standard – but could easily see him being held on to as a back-up and bench-warmer.

Dave Gooner

Sorry. 7.5 for OG is way too kind. No finesse, no guile. Blasting the ball in the general direction of the goal as hard as he can. Did he score the one goal in a One Nil win all season? In fact if we are honest, we will admit that he scored precious few goals that actually mattered all season, and he IS a striker, remember. Unlike his gallery of misses, which came very close to costing us our CL place. That miss against Everton summed Giroud up for me. A 5 at best. Wasn’t missed when he was suspended.… Read more »

Dick Swiveller

He’s scored a fair few goals showing some finesse and the chances created through his movement show a bit of guile. Much like Rambo last season he’s struggling with the burden of being the replacement for an outgoing talent who had the team built around them, after Rambo started flourishing this season I’d be a little more circumspect in evaluating Giroud.

Having said that, if he doesn’t relax more in front of goal next season he might not find himself first choice any more.

Midfield Corporal

Bit unfair in my opinion. He came into a pretty chaotic team to replace a truly world class striker. I see him as a good No2 striker next year.

Weed Wisdom

I think if Poldi and Giroud participated in our pre-season last summer and Koscielny was on form, we’d have done better against Stoke, S’land and Norwich.

We have the basis of a good team now and, unlike the last 2 seasons, we’re not in crisis this time. All we need is to get the players we want early and prepare for the next season.

Come on Arsenal.


We are not in any obvious crisis so there are less excuses. I think there will be a lot more changes than we think.

queensland reds

absolutely love the pic of poldi cracking up, what is he on? sensing the boys will be in a good head space next term and I can’t wait. see you in japan?


I think 7.5 for Giroud is too much when you compare his goal tally with Podolski and Walcott’s. Those two have played on the wings for most of the season and Podolski hasn’t even played that much compared to Giroud and still he has 16 goals and an assist more than Giroud. I know it’s only Girouds first season but it’s only Podolski’s first season as well and when you compare for how many minutes both have played I think it’s not good enough from Giroud when he’s the main and only striker. But got to give him that defensively… Read more »


I think Theo’s rating is high, since he was missing in Feb – April; that’s too long. On the other hand, his much improved work rate in the last few games is extremely promising, I think that was what he missed the most, so let’s hope he became wiser and will keep up the good work. On the other hand, I find it almost hilarious how people do not understand Giroud’s contribution and insist on ‘CF have to score goals’. It’s a joke guys, if he will get 30+ assists, you will still be saying it’s worth at most 5… Read more »


I think that’s too harsh on Gervinho. I don’t want o be a stickler for numbers, but you gave Santos a 5, too. These two did not have comparable seasons. Gervinho’s popularity suffers from missing sitters and doing his best work early in the season, both of which are exaggerated factors in the minds of fans. He kept us afloat when no one else seemed interested in scoring and I hope we give him another chance to hone his shooting boots to match his excellent pace, dribbling and position. However, IF much better attacking options appear (and that’s a big… Read more »

Lord theo

Theo scored 21 goals and made 14 assists now can u tell me any winger except cr7 who has those numbers,theo scored in big games against man u,chelsea,spurs,liverpool,everton and schalke and he got us crucial points.he didnt play early in the season and despite that he scored a couple of goals 4rm the bench during that goal drought he made vital assists.rvp went 11 games without a goal and theo only went 8 or 9 games and most importantly he deserves that rating or an 8.5


I really couldn’t give two sh*ts about my rating on here.

[…] time the midfielders, forwards and […]


I know this is slightly off-topic since the Defence ratings already went out, but I’d have given Eboue an 8/10 just for this (even though he’s not an Arsenal player anymore):

Nate Brown

I can’t explain why, but when I clicked on that picture of Podolski I couldn’t stop laughing.


If I hear another claim for TV5 to play D-Mid I may just start watching MLS. Let that topic die please. He should not play there, at all, for Arsenal. End of story.


Arshavin can’t do much right, can he? Worse than Chamakh? Seriously? I know it was only one match but in that 7-5 COC victory at Reading Arshavin played the entire 120 minutes (something podolski would need 3 matches to do). He had three assists and was the creative hub for a comeback from 4-nil down against Premier League opposition at their own stadium. Newcastle didn’t even do it away from home. Yes Walcott scored 4 goals and Giroud changed the matched at the instant he came on, but Arshavin was the most influential player in that match. And then after… Read more »


Giroud – Overrated.
Gervinho – no need to make fun of him. Contributed well, didnt get many opportunities.

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