While Arsenal fans need no reminding how tedious a Nicklas Bendtner summer is, it seems even the Danish press are growing fed up with The Greatest Striker That Ever Lived.
Us, no hassle. We’re used to him talking about how many clubs want him, how in demand he is, and how he’s got his pick of new destinations before a last-minute desperation loan deal on deadline day.
But as Ekstra Bladet report that there is an agreement between Arsenal and Frankfurt over the transfer of the player, their headline screams:
DECIDE, BENDTNER!
And the first two lines of the article read:
What do you want, Bendtner? It is now, you have to decide.
After some information about the deal, they ask:
Will he play in Frankfurt? Or will he just play French clown?
They then point out that Bendtner himself said his future would be sorted in two weeks, three weeks ago. If there was an exasperation font, they’d use that.
At this point we wouldn’t be surprised if Bendtner announced his retirement from football to take up a new career as CEO of Procrastination Inc, the company which will release its mission statement, someday.
Either that or it’s Stoke on deadline day, the wall of zombie, eat their own young, halflings crowding the reporter as Nick gets out of his shiny jeep and announces: I AM SHAWCROSSER.
I wish we could sell The Greatest Striker That Ever Lived to Spu*ds
Never thought I’d be saying that!
Leave please, you Idiot!!
I would like to see him play french clown actually. His pants down acts would make someone laugh at least there.
Just leave, already. I mean, yes, best of luck to you and all that, but just go.
So that’s four gone – Arshavin, Squillaci, Denilson and TGSTEL. Still many more – Djourou, Santos, Park, Chamakh, at the very least.
Woah OH, we’re halfway there. WOAAAHH WE DON’T REALLY CARE!
Take our players, their wages aren’t fair.
WOOAAH I’M SITTING ON A CHAIR! (sittttttiiiinnngg onnnn a chhhaaaaiiiiirr)
Coffee. Need coffee.
Cracking effort
I know he wants first-team football, and he won’t get it with us, but am I the only person who’s going to be disappointed to see Djourou leave the club?
Yes probably you are the only one
Well, I did like Johan, but he’s just not up to the standard for us. Always felt he was a little bit of a liability. He did have some good performances as a stand-in – I remember season before last, when we were chasing top-4 (thank goodness that rarely happens, eh? EH?) and Kos got injured in the warm-up against Wolves I think, and he stood in for him, and performed perfectly well. I was shitting myself the whole game, thinking he’d lose it for us. But fair play to him. A bit sad I guess, but we need a… Read more »
If Wenger doesn’t buy another CB then we might still need him. Miquel isn’t ready yet in my opinion
I like Johan as a 4th choice defender. He is perfect for that. But, it’s a shame he is 4th choice and I can’t blame him for wanting first team football. I hope he finds a team where he gets a lot of game time
Oh God, is he still here? I am starting to think he is some kind of modern art installation.
That’s a great idea. If he doesn’t go, we should try and get value by adding the title; “That misplaced feeling of greatness.” and entering him for the Turner Prize.
what about just setting up a circus sideshow next to the Emirates?
Roll up! Roll up! Come and see “The Greatest Striker That Ever Lived”, “The Greasiest Half Camel Half Man That Ever Lived”, “The Fattest Brazilian Fullback That Ever Lived”, “The Least Aggressive Centre Back That Ever Lived” and “The Most Mysterious Signing That Ever Lived”.
I would pay to see that. They could also sell grain for food that you can chuck at them, a pound a pop, and burgers from one of the stands outside for Santos.
Probably holding out for barcelona…
Ekstra Bladet is the Danish version of The Sun.
But when you put it up here like that, it actually sounds rather funny 🙂
They are right. Go, Little Nicky! And try not to trash any (moving or parked) cars on your way…
F**k this.
Announce Higuain already!
Be Calm!
Higuain is away on his hols in sunny Juntaland, it’ll be finalised and announced when he’s back – next week, I believe.
I’m usually skeptical, but we’ve got him. He’ll be in red & white before the yank’s little holiday in July.
In Denmark he is as much a laughing stock as he is in England.His latest shenanigans was a photo of himself full frontal nudeness except for a pair of Calvin kleins smugging it up infront of a mirror,subtext saying “yes,i did it”.And on his latest bender he threw a glass at a taxi driver.On his latest holiday with his bimboo he went to Dubai,photo in bed with his squeeze sporting a complete sheik outfit and his bimboo in something looking like an iranian princess,both laughing it up big time(real classy,something John terry would have no problem copying).But the general consensus… Read more »
Hey, keep it on the down low. We wouldn’t want Frankfurt to pull out would we???? 😉
I don’t like it when my Frankfurt pulls out either.
What?
Why a ‘French’ clown?
If there’s a player that’s equipped to play a clown of any fuckin nationality, he’s it.
If we lose Higuain, I will personally assasinate Arsene. that’s how much I care.
Wooooh, Relax a lil bit. it seems we’re in the signature race alone this time 🙂
so long as their new manager didn’t turn up and spit his dummy out at the transfer
What have Arsenal said about this deal? They are the only people I would trust in any transfer, and then only when they confirm it is complete.
Well if your to hire can you please take care of Terry, Shawcross and just because i hate his face, Luis Suarez.
p.s dont threaten Arsene
thank you
No, seriously however how we not wrapped up this deal yet. Arsene if you wanna live, you know what to do.
sign Higuain.
Maybe he is waiting for us to sign Higuain. So that Real Madrid has enough money to bid for him. Dick Law’s fault then.
The amusement given to us by a drunken TGSTEL is almost worth what we are still (!) paying him.
But enough of these silly stories regarding crazy people and give us something real!
…and finally in today’s news… Every Arsenal player apart from a couple of Spaniards are on holiday and are doing absolutely nothing worth reporting. Next update in August.
So what we get drunk #so what we smoke weed #we are just having fun #thats how its supposed to be #living young and wild and free! Big snoop doog. Tweet from the greatest himself. (and a pic to go with it). Maybe he’ll be the greatest rapper that ever lived?
http://instagram.com/p/auzmtIA_mG/
Geez – i thought you were making these quotes up. Is this account on instagram for real or is this a parody? I’m not on instagram but is anybody at Arsenal seeing this? That this man/boy was throwing his career away I knew, but this confirms that he is a muppet of the very first order. I now wish him all that he deserves wherever he ends up sort of playing.
I do think it’s his official instagram account. I would laugh if he wasn’t an arsenal player..
Oh good lord I thought you were making these hashtags up. My last iota of sympathy for him has just flown out the door. Get the hell off our books Nicklas, to where I care not a fuck of.
I liked Benny, decent enough striker, scored quite a few goals for us even when deployed on the wing.
Although, if he had been a bit more humble, his career wouldn’t be the clusterfuck it is now.
Oh well. Good luck to him.
Ah, clown shoes. That explains a lot.
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Wigan athletic would not evan play that waste of space
Big breaking news… the store is NOW OPEN!
http://gossip.ladyarse.com/arsenal/2013/06/29/bendtners-jewellery-dream-comes-true/
I see the master plan, all along. Nickolas has no intention of making money by kicking a ball.
He’s simply stalling for time and creating publicity for his male jewellery business