Wednesday, July 24, 2024

EXCLUSIVE: Aaron Ramsey infographic

There was a time last season where you couldn’t go anywhere online or off without hearing somebody say something like, “That Aaron Ramsey fella is rubbish. Arsenal would be better off with a scorpion in that position.”

Well, here at Arseblog News, we’ve disproved that via the awesome medium of Infographics. This first in our summer series of these wonderful things – 5 reasons why Aaron Ramsey is better than a scorpion.


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Who is the scorpion who won FIFA world player of the year!?!?


Pedantic conundrum: but he also scored champions league goals!


Ricardo Fernandes showed a bit of his Scorpion side with ‘that’ goal. But I don’t think he was an actual scorpion, not sure he won the FIFA player of the year either… So I’ve been no help.


Rene Higuita


I believe it was the scorpion king, Dwanye Johnson


This is terrible.


I find fantastic, perhaps your sense of humor is running a little dry these days?

twisted cuntloks

I think there are many valid points here and are important to discuss. I’m pretty sure a scorpions legs are much softer and easier to break too if stepped on by neanderthals


Lol reason 5


transfer window boredom blogs 🙂 ?and a scorpion has 8 legs .Its illegal in football unless sepp cunt Blatter has taken a bribe.


Slow news day huh!

Did you know that Penis Over Brain is an anagram of RVP?


That is the most cuntastic anagram I’ve ever seen!

It Is What It Is


I wish I had three hands…. so I could give you three thumbs up!


Well the evidence against Scorpions does seem overwhelming. But I wouldn’t be against the idea of having one man-marking Robin van Persie next season.

50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey

Scorpion Win!!FATALITY!!

JD's #1 Fan

Damn it, nostalgic all over sudden.


Finish Him !!


Typical anti-scorpion nonsense. What about Aaron Ramsey’s critical lack of pincers? Furthermore, modern football requires sturdy players in midfield, and Aaron lacks the necessary grit, determination, and durable exoskeleton.

You don’t see the trophy-winning clubs ruling out the purchase of scorpions. Show some ambition, Arsenal. Buy scorpions.


Thankfully I just saw an article on Caught Offside linking us to Tityus Serrulatus the Brazilian yellow scorpion – It is considered the most dangerous scorpion in Brazil!

Master Bates

Tityus Serrulatus is overrated


He is untested against competent English defenders.

The upshot is that he reproduces asexually, so we could end up with two lethal midfield titans for the price of one.

Sex Fabergé

I’ve heard the Brazilian Scorpio Denilsonis can only move sideways and has no sting in its tail.

Cyril Washbrook

Dangerous he may be, but how would he fare on a cold Tuesday night at Stoke?


This is real life, not Football Manager. Get your head out of the clouds


no thumbs up until I see a youtube link


At first glance I thought I read Tityus Bramble. Thank god. Now breathe…

the only sam is nelson

this is typical, man city are throwing money around the arachnid class getting who they want and we’re restricted to the injury prone obscure scorpiones order, because it’ll be cheaper no doubt. even Stoke bought dromopoda in crouch and jenas.

wenger out!


Sorry Arseblog, but I actually *did* read your stats and studied the graphs! OK?!


Greatest infographic ever.


I know Arseblog, I miss real football too.

Unyoke the ox

Scorpions are only useful in football when being applied to the faces of Suarez or terry.


Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the wind of change


Shut up Louie.


Man City have just agreed a EUR20m deal for a scorpian.


(typo – “scorpion”…)

Typically we miss out again….ARSENE OUT!


Aaron is too good looking to be compared to a scorpion. (Move over Giroud, Ramsey is in the house).


I wouldn’t mind seeing the mortal kombat version of scorpion in the middle of the park, throwing his harpoon thingy at John terry before delivering a killer uppercut.. Can we get Rambo a harpoon at least?


Yep. Definitely off-season.

Great idea on the infographics by the way! Could do a variety, like some serious ones such as if height makes a difference, comparing arguably two of last season’s best players in Cazorla and Mertesacker or “Walcott: Before and After the Contract”, as well as a host of entertaining but thought infographics, like “Podolski’s Left Foot vs Thor’s Hammer Mjolnir”, “Watt vs Hertz”, “Why Ogres Like Shrek Rooney Make No Sense Playing Football: The Layers” etc.

omosh wenger



I’d imagine Scorpion would prefer to be in goal anyway, think about it: “Oh no, the balls going top right, what shall I do? GET OVER HERE!” We’d keep clean sheets the whole season, although we would go through a lot more balls.

Goon Goon Goon

I once turned into a scorpion……. I got better

Arsene Wenger

Fellaini look slike he’s grabbing a juicy pair of chebs.


To be fair, scorpions give us that extra sting in attack


I am surprised that Scorpions like cricket that much! There must be an underground market for scorpion size pads and helmets that is not covered well in mainstream media.


It’s very difficult to get a scorpion LBW, even with video replays. Natural advantage.


I’d like to see an infographic analysis of Arsenal’s continuing need for a fox [in the box] next.

And I was half-hoping to see that picture of Hank Scorpio make a reappearance on the site…


Why don’t people just give Scorp a chance. Ok he is injury prone and played in Ligue 2 but Arsenals attack could do with more sting. I reckon we should throw Scorp into the dead wood , that would clear them out quick smart.


Scorpions do like dead wood.

Yankee Gooner

When I go camping, I always check my boots in the morning for Aaron Ramsey.


That’s just speciesist. Scorpions get almost no funding or grass roots training at football. They said Messi was too short! Are you saying that NO SCORPIONS can play football?! So narrow minded…didn’t the Colombians have a scorpion as a goal
Keeping coach back in the90’s?

Nick of Gooners

My zodiac sign is Scorpio, so I feel really offended by this obnoxious article!

Sex Fabergé

I once killed a scorpion on the ceiling with a frying pan. True story.

Sex Fabergé

Himalayas. Scorpions, spiders bigger than your hand that wait on your pillow for when you return home late at night. Tip: always move your bed six inches from the wall in these kinds of places.


You either sleep on the kitchen ceiling or you’ve expanded a different point, mate.

Sex Fabergé

The logical, and intended, explanation is that over there scorpions and spiders walk on the floors, walls and ceilings. You are safe nowhere…

Sex Fabergé

These are the sorts of spiders you get in Asia and Australasia – Huntsman spiders. They have no problems on walls or ceilings and are very, very fast.

Scorpions are also arachnids with similar capabilities and can also walk on ceilings, wooden ones certainly.

Scott P

Oh they can swim? That’ll be pleasant for my dreams tonight…


Are you talking about Scorpions or Aaron Ramseys there?


Could meme THA SHIT out of this “Ramsey better than a scorpion” thing..


Mooro, where are you mate. This article is made for one of your quips.


Injuries: the scorpion has 4x as many ankles as Ramsey, so is more likely to be injured. However he is probably much more likely to be able to carry on with a broken leg. No advantage wither way.

Bergkamp Ghoulfest

Don’t rate scorpions. They have terrible stats in Football Manager.


fuk off aresblog not gonna read this sight if this is wot your going to prodewce in the summer

who givs a fuck about scropions?!!!


Yes, please dont read. Use the time you save to improve your English.


Prodewce ? Woderwick is that you ?


This is fucking brilliant! Hats off, mate


I laughed out loud after looking at the graph showing which sports scorpions like


5 REASONS WHY SCORPIONS ARE BETTER THAN AARON RAMSEY 1. Used to desert landscapes, scorpions can easily navigate the hostile, morally barren away fixtures at Stamford bridge, etihad etc 2. Scorpio time sounds much more like the active cycle of a 70s serial killer, whereas Rambotime kinda sounds like a Stallone montage 3. Ramsay may one day become a star, while Scorpio is an entire constellation that adds much need strength to the bench. 4. Lithophilic scorpions are literally “rock loving” whereas Aaron Ramsey prefers hip hop and other forms of crap music 5. Ryan Shawcross would never fuck with… Read more »


How about throwing a few Ryan Shawcross’s way? I hear scorpions enjoy ogre blood.


Arse should compare our keepers to a spider

Nas Amenbovillage

A scorpion is better than Torres they never said.

Nas Amenbovillage

We need to complete the transfer of ” Fukin no wan ” asap.


Goal. Com has articles about agent of scorpion confirming a ÂŁ25 million bid by arsene wenger… The manager was seen scouting young scorpion and giving him tips about how to wear the caterpillar shaped jackets… Experts have compared the young startled to a young RVP…
Monaco is preparing a gajillion dollar deal to entice the young scorpion away from emirates stadium…


Maybe Nik Bendtner pulled his shorts down because he had a scorpion down there somewhere-


He felt a little prick you mean?


You got it, Double98!


David Ginola is an anagram of dildo vagina. I miss football.


His parents are probably still chuckling over that one and wondering when he’s going to catch on.

[…] all for today. Check out this post on Arseblog as something to brighten your day a little […]


Loving the Article! LMFAO on the comments as well!


Just seen a skills and goals YouTube montage on young scorpion, sign him up wenger; next Christopher wreh!
No wait don’t we Need experienced big named scorpions for ÂŁ30million!

Bodom After Midnight

You could you replace the scorpion in the first point with the Arsenal.


fuckin A… i navigated myself on to the infographics section of the site to discover these gems from 2013…. amazing

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