EXCLUSIVE: Aaron Ramsey infographic

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There was a time last season where you couldn’t go anywhere online or off without hearing somebody say something like, “That Aaron Ramsey fella is rubbish. Arsenal would be better off with a scorpion in that position.”

Well, here at Arseblog News, we’ve disproved that via the awesome medium of Infographics. This first in our summer series of these wonderful things – 5 reasons why Aaron Ramsey is better than a scorpion.

scorpion

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Gus
Gus

Who is the scorpion who won FIFA world player of the year!?!?

Goonermonkey
Goonermonkey

Ricardo Fernandes showed a bit of his Scorpion side with ‘that’ goal. But I don’t think he was an actual scorpion, not sure he won the FIFA player of the year either… So I’ve been no help.

N5
N5

Rene Higuita

bolo
bolo

I believe it was the scorpion king, Dwanye Johnson

lardlad
lardlad

This is terrible.

stephan
stephan

I find fantastic, perhaps your sense of humor is running a little dry these days?

twisted cuntloks
twisted cuntloks

I think there are many valid points here and are important to discuss. I’m pretty sure a scorpions legs are much softer and easier to break too if stepped on by neanderthals

N5
N5

Lol reason 5

lordvoldemort
lordvoldemort

transfer window boredom blogs ūüôā ?and a scorpion has 8 legs .Its illegal in football unless sepp cunt Blatter has taken a bribe.

THEEEO
THEEEO

Slow news day huh!

Did you know that Penis Over Brain is an anagram of RVP?

goonster
goonster

That is the most cuntastic anagram I’ve ever seen!

It Is What It Is
It Is What It Is

mwah

I wish I had three hands…. so I could give you three thumbs up!

Luke
Luke

Well the evidence against Scorpions does seem overwhelming. But I wouldn’t be against the idea of having one man-marking Robin van Persie next season.

50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey
50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey

Scorpion Win!!FATALITY!!

JD's #1 Fan
JD's #1 Fan

Damn it, nostalgic all over sudden.

Boblex
Boblex

Finish Him !!

Jean-Christian

Typical anti-scorpion nonsense. What about Aaron Ramsey’s critical lack of pincers? Furthermore, modern football requires sturdy players in midfield, and Aaron lacks the necessary grit, determination, and durable exoskeleton.

You don’t see the trophy-winning clubs ruling out the purchase of scorpions. Show some ambition, Arsenal. Buy scorpions.

Cele
Cele

Thankfully I just saw an article on Caught Offside linking us to Tityus Serrulatus the Brazilian yellow scorpion – It is considered the most dangerous scorpion in Brazil!

Master Bates
Master Bates

Tityus Serrulatus is overrated

THEREISBEARCUM
THEREISBEARCUM

He is untested against competent English defenders.

The upshot is that he reproduces asexually, so we could end up with two lethal midfield titans for the price of one.

Sex Fabergé
Sex Fabergé

I’ve heard the Brazilian Scorpio Denilsonis can only move sideways and has no sting in its tail.

Cyril Washbrook
Cyril Washbrook

Dangerous he may be, but how would he fare on a cold Tuesday night at Stoke?

TW
TW

This is real life, not Football Manager. Get your head out of the clouds

cannonsong
cannonsong

no thumbs up until I see a youtube link

TB
TB

At first glance I thought I read Tityus Bramble. Thank god. Now breathe…

Mani
Mani

Greatest infographic ever.

d7g7
d7g7

I know Arseblog, I miss real football too.

Unyoke the ox
Unyoke the ox

Scorpions are only useful in football when being applied to the faces of Suarez or terry.

Louie
Louie

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the wind of change

Pyrrho
Pyrrho

Shut up Louie.

Jessop
Jessop

Man City have just agreed a EUR20m deal for a scorpian.

Jessop
Jessop

(typo – “scorpion”…)

Typically we miss out again….ARSENE OUT!

Sarah
Sarah

Aaron is too good looking to be compared to a scorpion. (Move over Giroud, Ramsey is in the house).

kosmima
kosmima

I wouldn’t mind seeing the mortal kombat version of scorpion in the middle of the park, throwing his harpoon thingy at John terry before delivering a killer uppercut.. Can we get Rambo a harpoon at least?

Harish
Harish

Yep. Definitely off-season.

Great idea on the infographics by the way! Could do a variety, like some serious ones such as if height makes a difference, comparing arguably two of last season’s best players in Cazorla and Mertesacker or “Walcott: Before and After the Contract”, as well as a host of entertaining but thought infographics, like “Podolski’s Left Foot vs Thor’s Hammer Mjolnir”, “Watt vs Hertz”, “Why Ogres Like Shrek Rooney Make No Sense Playing Football: The Layers” etc.

omosh wenger

lol

Saffagooner
Saffagooner

I’d imagine Scorpion would prefer to be in goal anyway, think about it: “Oh no, the balls going top right, what shall I do? GET OVER HERE!” We’d keep clean sheets the whole season, although we would go through a lot more balls.

Goon Goon Goon
Goon Goon Goon

I once turned into a scorpion……. I got better

Arsene Wenger
Arsene Wenger

Fellaini look slike he’s grabbing a juicy pair of chebs.

goonerbynature
goonerbynature

To be fair, scorpions give us that extra sting in attack

simianwolverine
simianwolverine

I am surprised that Scorpions like cricket that much! There must be an underground market for scorpion size pads and helmets that is not covered well in mainstream media.

Otis
Otis

It’s very difficult to get a scorpion LBW, even with video replays. Natural advantage.

LA
LA

I’d like to see an infographic analysis of Arsenal’s continuing need for a fox [in the box] next.

And I was half-hoping to see that picture of Hank Scorpio make a reappearance on the site…

davonz
davonz

Why don’t people just give Scorp a chance. Ok he is injury prone and played in Ligue 2 but Arsenals attack could do with more sting. I reckon we should throw Scorp into the dead wood , that would clear them out quick smart.

JustAnotherMong
JustAnotherMong

Scorpions do like dead wood.

Yankee Gooner
Yankee Gooner

When I go camping, I always check my boots in the morning for Aaron Ramsey.

Tommo
Tommo

That’s just speciesist. Scorpions get almost no funding or grass roots training at football. They said Messi was too short! Are you saying that NO SCORPIONS can play football?! So narrow minded…didn’t the Colombians have a scorpion as a goal
Keeping coach back in the90’s?

Nick of Gooners
Nick of Gooners

My zodiac sign is Scorpio, so I feel really offended by this obnoxious article!

Sex Fabergé
Sex Fabergé

I once killed a scorpion on the ceiling with a frying pan. True story.

Scott P
Scott P

Oh they can swim? That’ll be pleasant for my dreams tonight…

TeeCee
TeeCee

Are you talking about Scorpions or Aaron Ramseys there?

Lobster
Lobster

Could meme THA SHIT out of this “Ramsey better than a scorpion” thing..

Voldermort
Voldermort

Mooro, where are you mate. This article is made for one of your quips.

JustAnotherMong
JustAnotherMong

Injuries: the scorpion has 4x as many ankles as Ramsey, so is more likely to be injured. However he is probably much more likely to be able to carry on with a broken leg. No advantage wither way.

Bergkamp Ghoulfest
Bergkamp Ghoulfest

Don’t rate scorpions. They have terrible stats in Football Manager.

81Trev81
81Trev81

fuk off aresblog not gonna read this sight if this is wot your going to prodewce in the summer

who givs a fuck about scropions?!!!

ArseTickler
ArseTickler

Yes, please dont read. Use the time you save to improve your English.

Voldermort
Voldermort

Prodewce ? Woderwick is that you ?

ArseTickler
ArseTickler

This is fucking brilliant! Hats off, mate

Darren

I laughed out loud after looking at the graph showing which sports scorpions like

Double98
Double98

5 REASONS WHY SCORPIONS ARE BETTER THAN AARON RAMSEY
1. Used to desert landscapes, scorpions can easily navigate the hostile, morally barren away fixtures at Stamford bridge, etihad etc
2. Scorpio time sounds much more like the active cycle of a 70s serial killer, whereas Rambotime kinda sounds like a Stallone montage
3. Ramsay may one day become a star, while Scorpio is an entire constellation that adds much need strength to the bench.
4. Lithophilic scorpions are literally ‚Äúrock loving‚ÄĚ whereas Aaron Ramsey prefers hip hop and other forms of crap music
5. Ryan Shawcross would never fuck with a scorpion. Except literally.

The Friends of Scorpions League

Utopia
Utopia

How about throwing a few Ryan Shawcross’s way? I hear scorpions enjoy ogre blood.

Saffagooner
Saffagooner

Arse should compare our keepers to a spider

Nas Amenbovillage

A scorpion is better than Torres they never said.

Nas Amenbovillage

We need to complete the transfer of ” Fukin no wan ” asap.

Mobeen

Goal. Com has articles about agent of scorpion confirming a ¬£25 million bid by arsene wenger… The manager was seen scouting young scorpion and giving him tips about how to wear the caterpillar shaped jackets… Experts have compared the young startled to a young RVP…
Monaco is preparing a gajillion dollar deal to entice the young scorpion away from emirates stadium…

Leftbackinthedressingroom
Leftbackinthedressingroom

Maybe Nik Bendtner pulled his shorts down because he had a scorpion down there somewhere-

Double98
Double98

He felt a little prick you mean?

Leftbackinthedressingroom
Leftbackinthedressingroom

You got it, Double98!

gunnergeorge
gunnergeorge

David Ginola is an anagram of dildo vagina. I miss football.

TeeCee
TeeCee

His parents are probably still chuckling over that one and wondering when he’s going to catch on.

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Boblex
Boblex

Loving the Article! LMFAO on the comments as well!

HotRod
HotRod

Just seen a skills and goals YouTube montage on young scorpion, sign him up wenger; next Christopher wreh!
No wait don’t we Need experienced big named scorpions for ¬£30million!

Bodom After Midnight
Bodom After Midnight

You could you replace the scorpion in the first point with the Arsenal.