Thursday, April 25, 2024

Gustavo to make statement on Thursday

In news that is likely to be less happy that people might hope, it’s emerged that Luiz Gustavo will address the issue of his next club after Brazil’s midweek game with Switzerland.

According to Sky Sports, Gustavo’s agent, Roger Wittman, said, “Luiz will make a statement on his future on Thursday.”

For those hoping he’ll turn around and say “I’m joining Arsenal!”, that is about as likely to happen as Scarlett Johansson turning up on your doorstep in the mood for love [as this is an equal opportunities website, ladies can imagine a hunky guy like Bryan Goslinger or Justin Bimberlane].

Yesterday, the Bayern Munich midfielder spoke of his willingness to come and play for Arsenal and Arsene Wenger, but we’ve heard nothing from the other side. Which is fairly normal.

Even if there was a deal in place, there’s no way the player would be announcing it, simply because that’s not the way we do business.

Anyway, some suggestions about what his statement could be:

– He could confirm he’s leaving Bayern and has options to consider

– He could say he’s staying at Bayern after buying Pep a nice sweater/shirt combo

– He could express his desire to give up football to form a DeBarge tribute band

– He could stay completely silent for 10 minutes as journalists got increasingly anxious, then point to one, do the draw a knife across his throat gesture and walk out

– He could announce that he is the one true Christ and all others before him are fakes, then, with a flick of his almighty finger, cast down a plague of locusts in the shape of Joey Barton.

– He could give an in-depth lecture explaining why he feels Hot Shots and it’s sheer awesomeness is what drove Charlie Sheen to a life of debauchery and drugs.

– He could decide ‘Sod this’ and go for a sandwich and announce nothing

We’re torn between three and six.

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Or Sp*rs are shit.


just read gustavo is heading to wolfsburg for 17 million. will somebody please shoot wenger. arsenal should have gone all in to sign a player of his quality. very very dissapointing. wenger is a sadist. he will be torturing poor arsenal souls for eternity if he signs a new contract.


Gustvao is definitely going to Wolfsburg.

I don’t understand why he didn’t he try to sign Capoue again. As at January, he thought he was “top top quality”. What changed? :s


If he’s not signing for us, please let it be no.5. Lord knows i need cheering up


Ye of little faith…I think.

Rambling Pete

Well, it’s hard to imagine any of those options suit us but you’d have to hope Wenger and Gazidis start getting their act together. So far it’s been nothing short of a disaster. Just days before the first game of the season and nothing has changed. It remains me of the summer before last when we just let things go and all of a sudden it hit us like a ton of bricks that we needed new players. Having once been actually hit with a brick I don’t know how they could forget. I was at a local park with… Read more »


Statement : Arsenal have signed me but im going to Napoli


Statement: Luiz Gustavo, Channel 9 news.


While turning his head slightly to the left as he pronounces his surname.


calm down people. he probably knows where TGSTEL will be playing next season


Oi! Leave me outta this!


Gustavo brother: “Luiz now close to Arsenal”


You’re right blogs – this all seems far to obvious to be true.



I’m certain he’s going to announce that he’s an Arsenal player. He’s timed it so that it occurs at EXACTLY the same moment Arsenal make the announcement. I can just see Gustavo and Dick Law entering the press room, and speaking in unison. Maybe Dick could recite his lines a third interval above Gustavo’s tone, thereby providing a nice harmony? I fully expect this to happen.


I have missed DeBarge…

Adam, Watford

Indeed, haven’t we all ?


Hey aren’t you Adam from Watford?

Adam, Wexford

Hello? Oh sorry, my mistake…


Adam has a friend named watford and they thought it would be nice if they put both their names on there. it’s quite adorable…

Double Canister

What does Gustavo have to apologise to Brendan Rogers for on Thursday?


Ok, that post made my day, thanks mate!


You are one old son of a gun sir….


O ye, of little faith…

Arsenal want him and have reportedly bid for him. +

Gustavo has come out publicly and has said what a big club Arsenal are and what a clever manger Wenger is.

So, I’m fully expecting him to sign for……Napoli.


If this is really an equal opportunities website (and I’m glad it is), then perhaps you’d also better let men imagine Bryan Goslinger or Justin Bimberlane and women hoping that Scarlett Johansson will turn up on their doorstep in the mood for love. Just saying.


One also shouldn’t exclude those lustfully imagining both bryan goslinger and scarlett johansson turning up together in the mood for menage a trois. Although I have a feeling attempts at a universally applicable simile could take us to some places this blog is neither intended nor equipped for. Just saying.


But as all Arsenal fans know, that bliss would turn into dismay as they’d just send the lucky guy/girl off to fetch them sandwiches and coffee wilst take the bedroom to themselves.


Just send the HFB, surely that would please everyone 😉


One should also keep in mind those of us who lust after root vegetables and igneous rocks. Imagine a radish and piece of granite waiting at the doorstep? Ooo la la!!!

John Terry

A RADISH!!??!! Thats disgusting, you pervert.

Now if it was a fit bit of Celery………..

bayo sanni-omotosho

I gave u a thumb down simply because of your dsiplay name

Diaby's ankles

TGSTEL is it you?


i think he just wants to see himself trending on twitter


So it’s Gustavoh-no then is it?


I’d quite like Ms Johannsson to show up on my doorstep in the mood for love, and I’m a woman.

I’d also quite like Arsene Wenger to hurry up and buy some players. Sadly the latter seems more looks likely. But only just.


you mean the former?
The latter is the later option. 🙂


Clearly, to her, new players > Ms Johannsson. Personally, I’d take Ms Johannsson if she stays till the January window 😀

Arsene's stylist

Let’s be honest here: most of us would take a night with Scarlett even if it meant relegation for the Arsenal.

Arsene's stylist

I think he is going to annouce a future announcement.

“I am here to announce that I will make an important announcement next Monday.”

Arsenal-induced Heart Attack Survivor

Arseblog’s articles can be compiled together to make one hilarious season review book. I’d buy it for sure!

Arshavin's pie delivery guy

What a funny name you have!

Arsenal-induced Heart Attack Survivor

Felt like generalising my condition at full time at Newcastle away last season, that’s all.


Don’t say it Luis!!! You can’t break our hearts again!! Just say you have signed for the Arsenal!!!


Professor Plum with the rope in the library

Eliakim Musee

Gustavo,announce faster before its to late, we need you with immediate effect, because the premier league is starting on Saturday, join faster.

Zorro in the box

Has he let the city down?

On a serious note, these things rarely bode well, it means he’s keeping himself in the shop window surely and the deal is far from done.

Petit's Handbag

How have we become Napoli’s biggest rival’s.
10 years ago we were about to embark on a season which will never be forgotten, the greatest ever league side would go unbeaten, and while doing so play some of the greatest, flowing football ever played.

Napoli were in Serie B.

Think we need to remind people who we are this season.
Starting with a 6-0 Saturday

Sweaty Testicles/Scrotum

6-0 to us, hopefully.


rivals shmivals


I hope he joins us .. But i wonder who will be taken out the equation ? Ramsey or arteta ?


No need for reductions, just supplementing with quality!

I love this guy and hope it does go through. He makes that Paulinho fella look like a bag of chilled willies.


I accidentally thumbs-downed you, which is a shame because I loved the turn of phrase


I hate it when I accidentally thumbs-down someone. Unless they are ms Johansson

Amaury Bischoff

pls make statemnt fast, otherwise we look for someone else.My play style is similar like gustavo, but not improve too much in previously.

The Ghost of Peter Storey

Maybe he just wants to announce that he’s gay. Someone’s bound to soon enough.

The Ghost of Peter Storey

Not that I’m saying that he is gay. I don’t have any knowledge of his sexuality. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay… (for those Seinfeld fans out there)…


Well, that would explain why he wants to join Arsenal (Giroud).


Bit confused. Is the plague in the shape of Joey Barton, or are the locusts?

I only ask because I thought locusts were already in the shape of Joey Barton. Barton used to be in the shape of an ocelot, but then he read a book.


I think it’s the plague of locusts that look like Joey Barton.

It’s a bit lie one of those wave thingys from chaos theory. The whole lot looks like Joey Barton and then when you look really closely, each individual locust looks like Joey Barton as well.

Then, if you zoom in again and look just at their feet, they look like Joey Barton too.


‘Looking like locust feet’ you just named his autobiography for him


One wonders why he has to wait till Thursday. If he wants to be sold, and nothing more, he could as well announce it through, say, Twitter


I think number 4 would be kind of hilarious, and I could do with a laugh after the way this transfer window has been going.

Rad Carrot

Well, I didn’t expect a statement sooner, as he’s away on his silly internationals, isn’t he?

Let’s hope his statement is made at the Emirates after he’s had his medical, after flying to London from that stupid friendly game thing.

Hey, stranger things have happened. We signed Silvestre, after all.


TUESDAY:: gustavo’s dad:: Son is joining ARSENAL
WEDNESDAY:: gustavo’s brother:: Bro is joining ARSENAL
THURDAY:: gustavo:: NAPOLI is a dream club and I am glad to be here.


FRIDAY: Rodgers: “Gustavo owes Liverpool an apology.”

Double Canister

i’ll thumb that up.

Double Canister

He is playing football for Brasil tomorrow, I suppose he has 15 minutes at half time, he could just pop over to the interview room…
Imagine that?!, a genuine Brasil midfielder, just like Gilberto (sorry Denilson, But good luck).


By Thursday lunchtime, he’ll be back in Europr. Of course, whether he turns up in Munich, Naples or London is the real issue…..


Has it occured to anyone that he might simply moonwalk in, do a twirl, and moonwalk out of there?


I have a very important and Breaking news story…..Cannonball!


Cannon and Ball? We’re that desperate now, we’ll have ’em…


Perhaps he he wants to discuss his ideas of a Marvel/Star Wars crossover

el bahja

Like barton I guess 🙂


Perhaps you’re closer to the truth than you imagined and he is going to announce that Scarlett Johannson turned up on his doorstep in the mood for love..


Or, his father could turn up at the press conference and announce that his son is joining Arsenal.


He could stand in front of the press and sing “It’s a wonderful world”. He could also gesture holding an imaginary umbrella just to mimic Usain Bolt just for the sake of it. Heck!


Mrs Mooro to make cheesecake on Thursday.

It’s really rather good.


It’s highly unlikely that he’d announce he’s off to another club four days after saying he’d “like to play for Arsenal.”

It’s us, staying put, or no comment.


“I’ve called this press conference to announce to you all that i have no comments. Thank you and drive safely.”


I remember another player who was linked with us either earlier this summer or last year promised to announce his decision by a particular day and then not saying anything at all, I’ve completely forgotten who.

Glen Helders soul-glo

Can’t see us signing him.

He wants guaranteed 1st team football, Wenger will not give him this with Arteta, Ramsey & Wilshere already fighting for two spots.

The most obvious position that needs to be filled is LW, as Poldolski will be used as mainly back up to Giroud with fleeting cameo’s on the wing.

Alex Manninger

Jack fighting for a position in the double-pivot? No, no, no! That is called wasting resources.


Three people for 2 spots definitely isn’t enough, especially when Wilshere often plays further up with Cazorla on the left or Ramsey gets shunted out wide for defensive cover. One injury away from a crisis there, especially if it’s Arteta.


Lavish Gustavo the money. Thin arse


Lavish Gustavo the money. Skinny arse

Marc jean

It should be called Thursday episode.starring Luis Gustavo,Arsenal,Napoli and the seventh links of Arsene wenger.U’re welcome.

Double Canister

The same Podolski who is Germany’s most important player?
Says Joachim Loew.


Maybe he will say he just shit in his underpants at the thought of playing against John Terry but then realise Terry is a cunt and he then shits in Ashely Coles pants just so Chelski players can smell Brazilian poop? Who knows but then at this point in time who cares!!!


Luiz Gustavo: “I’d like to play with Arsenal Fans’ minds”


His agent didn’t say WHERE and WHEN he will be making this announcement..
Perhaps it will be in the Royal Oak Theatre on Thursday evening and the announcement is “I’ve been here all day to have my medical and discuss personal terms. So all that is left is for me to publicly ‘sign da ting’ !”


I hope he says something as inscrutable as “When the seagulls follow the trawler, it’s because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much.”


I can see it now – all of the season ticket renewal money in the bank and Gazidis and Kroenke sitting in Kroenke’s 124000 acre ranch laughing at the idiots who actually BELIEVED Gazidis’s promises of £40 million players on £200k a week. And they are laughing, everyone is laughing because it is very funny – as they say “an idiot and his money are easily parted” and there are no bigger idiots than the Arsenal faithful who get shafted EVERY YEAR and do and say nothing about it “its about supporting the club”. Real Madrid and Barcelona fans support… Read more »


you are an embarassment to the word gooner. the difference between barca ..real ..ect is that they have been european giants for like ever. we are only a top european side becasue of wenger. the steps he has put in place makes it possible that we can be a european giant. have some respect.


clearly you have no idea what you are talking about .At monaco he go the sack because it was some issue at the time with their owner r .Any excuse to sack him , well he gave him one with a poor start of the season specially weeks before the sack he was one of the favorite to take Bayern Munich job but the Monaco board refuse to let him talk to them
.still Monaco have one of the best academy in france,guess who set up their academy,who was very usefull when the money really run dry


Leave the European Champions to join the winners of the fourth place trophy in the premiership – really…


Blogs could you number the choices as I’ve found that when fellow posters refer to 5 or 3 as their favourite, I’m continually having to scroll back up and count through to understand their preferred option.

I like 4 .

Now there’s a good fellow.

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