Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Podolski: Hell will freeze over before I move to Sp*rs

Lukas Podolski may be a bit miffed at not playing for Arsenal but the madcap German knows how to keep the Gooner fraternity onside.

Responding to an incendiary tweet from @BBCSport the 29-year-old made clear that he’s no intention of moving to North London rivals Sp*rs.

As it turns out the BBC were merely linking to their daily gossip column citing ‘Caught Offside’ as a source for the story. Now, you don’t need us to tell you that a A+B in this particular equation breaks our transfer poo-ometer scale…

With only one start and four sub appearances to his name this term there’s not going to be any stopping the transfer speculation, but at least we can rest safe in the knowledge the king of the hashtag won’t be stepping out with a cock and ball on his chest any time soon.

After featuring for Germany during the Interlull, Podolski wasn’t on the bench against Hull City due to sickness but he’s expected to return to the squad for the game against Anderlecht on Wednesday.

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he’s the man.. at least off the pitch!


he never really lets us down on it, unless he plays up front. his goals per minutes on the pitch is pretty damn good.
and he hates sperz.



#Aha #Poldi #Redarmy


He might be my favourite current player right now.. even if he doesn’t play he’s great to have around the squad..

Fancy pants

Tweet of the century


Particular equation….not particularly. Must be the idea of the sight of poldi with a white cock and ball.

Podolski's Milkman

I told my mates at the pub, “he may not get enough game time but he’s a f**kin’ legend”


And then there’s William Gallas

Gutbukket Deffrolla

Well, there was, until he retired.

Lukas Podolski – Legend!!!

William Gallas – Bell end!!!

Silent Stan's Content Mustache

He might drift on you in games, but I love him nonetheless.


There was me thinkin it was a chicken and an egg

Gary Baldy

if Mr. Wenger is looking for a show of passion to enliven our side, a sheer ‘ balls-out ‘ * fuck-you * of a performance to any speculation, then this reply could be Poldi’s way back into the first XI.

Come on Lukas, put your hash-tag* where your mouth is !!!!

* Does that even really make any sense ? #ButYouKnowWhatIMean,Though#PoldiMittwochHatrick


Good man Poldi, not your fault you joined a team that had no idea what to do with you. Or that we signed about 4-5 other players in similar enough positions to yourself….and then tried to ship you off to Turkey….and then decided to keep you, to sit on the bench.

Always scored when he has played, fantastic goals to minutes ratio, but just another example of our completely unbalanced squad.

Bould's Eyeliner

While I, too, like Poldi – he has not exactly been stellar on the pitch, all of the time. He scores a good goal, but his desire and energy in his overall game (movement off the ball, defensive, attacking sense), is entirely lacking compared to his international presence. Maybe the German team knows him better, and in actuality they probably do, but that does not explain Podolski’s lack of desire to win a ball back after losing it, or pressing the defense, etc. All of which he did for Germany before his injury. Part of the reason why it seems… Read more »


arsene always insists that because a player has played in X position for his national side, obviously he can do the job there for his club side. both podolski and ozil are not traditional wingers, but they are played on the left because they did so for Germany. yet when wilshere was played out of his most effective position (CM/CAM) for England, wenger said something like “you don’t get the most out of wilshere when he plays in a position that does not fully make use of his strengths.” why does that statement not apply to our other players?


To be fair, when you say traditional wingers, Ozil and Podolski in our system when playing on the left aren’t being played as traditional wingers, Ozil is given the opportunity to roam free and podolski often drifts in and gets in positions in and around the box. But have to agree with that second bit.

Bould's Eyeliner

Both Wenger and Loewe play Podolski on the left because that get’s the most out of his skills. His best performances for us have always been on the left wing, so I don’t see how he’s being ‘played out of position.’


Just for the tweet he should be given a new and improved contract!
And some ice cream.


Delightful giant shit on the preview there blogs. #aha

AS17 is for A.Sanchez not

…..but at least we can rest safe
in the knowledge the king of the hashtag
won’t be stepping out with a cock and
ball on his chest any time soon…….

how symbolic for that poultry like club. nice one Bloggs

the only sam is nelson

although to see him scoring the own goal that leads to Spuds being relegated, and tearing off his lillywhite shirt to reveal the red and white…. now *that* would be worth £10m of forged £50 notes in anyone’s book


Arsenal must be able to find Poldi a job running there social media sites, or at very least a chearleader during games. #hashtagking

Pakistan Arsenal!

Off topic but Alexis has 6 goals this season in all competitions. Could someone please let me know how many assists he has in total? 🙂

Why do you ask my name? It is beyond understanding

Oh please, that’s more or less what Fabregas said about Chelsea. I don’t believe anything footballers say any more.

I will tell you if you tell me your name. I believe I will understand it.

Why do you ask my name? It is beyond understanding

“If some day I leave Arsenal it will never be to sign for another English team. I’m very sure,” Fabregas, who admits he was surprised by Torres’ move, told Spanish magazine Don Balon.
Daily Telegraph, 20 April 2011.

Yeah, right. Like Van Persie will always be a gunner in his heart..

Gutbukket Deffrolla

He didn’t leave Arsenal for another English team. He left Arsenal for Barcelona. He only joined another English team when we told him that we had no room for him at Arsenal.

If you must hit people with a big stick because they made you sad then at least hit them with the proper big stick.


If Arsenal attempted to play any sort of quicker more direct football, as opposed to our usual tika taka around the box that comes to nothing, Poldi could have been a beast for us.
Just thinking back to the game against West Ham at the Emirates where he was on a fire 3 assists and a goal iirc? All whilst we played quick football released a player (in this case Poldi) who then crossed to a striker for a tap in. Never see that any more which is a shame

Closet mc

For a guy who scored 16 goals and a few more assists. He had initially a good combination with Gibbs I think he is a functional player capable of scoring goals just that Arsene does not know how to handle ready made players who know their own game. For Poldi read Arshavin Ozil even Carzola he can’t let them play to their strengths. In games where we will have more possession ie home games with the rest of the league start Podolski he will shoot and score. In games were we need huge defensive effort use him from the bench.… Read more »


Apparently by our performance at Hull that means bench for the foreseeable future. #SorryPoldi


Love Poldi. He just gets ‘it’ doesn’t he.


Of course that’s what Van Pursestrings said about United.


And also Fab also said he would never wear the blue of Chelshit


You’d expect no less from the pod. A true fans player! If only you could be as convincing on the pitch…love you anyway Poldi!


Give that man an RKO…. preferably outta nowhere

Gooner Smurf


Man Manny

I’d say keep him till the end of the season. With the way we seem to have injuries, he will come in handy at some point.

Gutbukket Deffrolla

That’s very magnanimous of you.

Gash reserves

Just think if we could get alexis creating for this guy, he seems to make so much space and time for players in the box and podolski is so clinical. Given that the liitle Chilean maestro does about 4 players worth of defending when he’s put there on top of the attacking work we could probably afford to have poldi on the pitch with him…

Gash reserves

Out there* (fat fingers)


If Podolski ends up joining them, this will break retweeting records.
But I think Ellen Degeneres is safe.


Top man. Underused!


Give him a start against Anderlecht!

Merlin's Panini

Can’t not like Poldi

Off topic, I just saw we’ve been reprieved of that stupid disciplinary action by UEFA for Galatasaray fans chucking flares on the pitch. Galatasaray are still getting fined though.
Also, in other news Galatasaray have too many “A”s in their name and it’s a bitch to keep typing it.


Youve gotta love him. Hang on in there till january pod and youre bound to get a game in the fa cup…if wenger dont sell ya. In arsene we rust.

Mr Brain Is a Gunner4life!

Tweet of the century!


You just can’t hate him, even if he ended scoring scores of own-goals. He’s just so lovable.

I wish he could be more efficient on the field of play as he is off it. #Aha


At this point, what do we have to lose? Play him with Alexis up front and Welbeck. Im sure Alexis is capable to find Podolski for a tap in.


What a hero.


He may not always perform on the pitch, but how can you not love this guy?


I love Poldi to the max, just wish Mr Wenger gave him a bit more time on the pitch, playing a bit part will dramatically drop his confidence and also not as fit and physically strong as he would if he played every game. Soon as he has a bad game he doesn’t get selected for the next, Some continuation would do a world of good 🙂 stick in there Poldi.


#bbcsport #coughcoughbollocks #fuckoff

Climber Gooner

I reckon Wilshere head something to do with that tweet.
I do wish though he’d get a chance to play as a CF. With Alexis and Ox on either side, it’ll be pretty deadly. Though realistically, it would work only with a strong defensive-minded midfield. Hope Wenger pulls this off!

monkey knees

Poldi, Alexis and Welbz up top, I say! What’s to lose?



Saffa Gooner

“this particular equation breaks our transfer poo-ometer scale…”…what an image!


Here we go again with the podolski should be in the team and we don’t know how to use him properly crap.

He’s not in the team because he is not good enough, in any position you care to choose or maybe we should drop alexis, carzola or wellbeck for him?

The fact that spuds and Turkish teams seem to be most interested in him should tell you something about how highly he is rated in the football world generally.

Great bloke obviously, but football talks not hashtags


Poldi may not want to join Sp*rs but what makes you think Wenger will not sell him to the scums?

bims lay

how can you not love this guy?……

a true gooner at heart and a master hash gooner to boot!..

definitely on my list of favourites despite not haven featured much for arsenal this season

Henry! Chance!! Goal!!!

Standing ovation for that man, Podolski!


Such charismatic lad. Even though he dont have enough game time. He sure wins many gooner hearts. No wonder he even got his own pop hits. #aha #lulululukazpodolski

Ozil's Gum

Wish he could play more. Love this guy to death. Gunna be heart broken when he eventually leaves. He clearly loves the club.


Prince Poldi, you will always be a gooner!

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