Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Sunday transfer frenzy rumour round-up thingy (with poos)

It’s Sunday, that means the Sunday papers come out, and they’re usually a goldmine for transfer rumours.

There’s a lot going on so we thought to save you having to buy all the papers, or visit some websites you’d rather not grace with a click, we’d round them up for you.

So, let’s go.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain to Liverpool

Reports that the Mugsmashers are readying a £30m bid for the England international. His future is still uncertain as he, like so many others, only has 12 months left on his current deal.

There are some suggestions he’s agreed terms with us to continue, and Arsene Wenger said it would cause us ‘big damage‘ if he left, but as long as there’s nothing official speculation will continue.

Olivier Giroud to Lyon

The striker was spotted at Lyon airport yesterday, which is in Lyon. Handy if you’re going to sign for Lyon, like.

Then the Lyon president confirmed their interest, saying, “There has been an approach, at some point, for Giroud. He is a boy that we like.”

He’s spoken personally to Giroud, and with Lacazette’s arrival an increasing possibility his departure seems more likely.

Theo Walcott to West Ham

No idea where this one is coming from, but it makes some sense. They tried to get him last summer, but that came to nothing.

Walcott scored 19 goals last season but has been left marginalised by the new formation with three at the back. If we stick with it, his playing time is likely to be minimal and at 28 years of age, Arsene Wenger could be tempted to cash in on the club’s longest serving player.

West Ham are in big need of a forward, and Walcott could be that man.

Anthony Martial to Arsenal

The Daily Mail say that we’re prepared to bid £40m for the French international, to rescue him from his Mourinho misery.

On the face of it, it’s a deal that would tick some very Arsenal boxes. Striker, French, a player Wenger rates, having a bad time at another club, we’ve been here before.

There are two things that would make you think it’s unlikely though. One is Mourinho dealing with Wenger, although it did happen when Petr Cech moved from Chelsea, and it’d be down to how much authority he has over transfer matters at Old Trafford.

The other is that the Daily Mail is a filthy disgusting rag that spews ignorant bile and lies about things that are actually important, so there’s every chance this is just them making stuff up.

Alexandre Lacazette fee issues

Despite reports last Friday that Lyon had accepted a £44m bid from Arsenal for the striker, today’s stories say that Jean-Michel Aulas is playing ‘hardball’ and wants a lot more for the 26 year old.

It’d probably be a good idea to play hardball before you accept a bid.

Right, that’s your transfer lot. Poo away at your hearts content.

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That\'s Naumbmeyang!

Do I average the poos in this one? Because there’s some heavy ones mixed with some ploinkers in there


um average of 5 then

Eric Blair

Wow, these transfer rumours look like one hell of a dirty protest. Dirtiest has to Martial as it comes from the princelings of filth themselves; Man Utd, Mourinho, and the Mail.


The unholy trinity

Heavenly Chapecoense

Who Ox would put on the bench at Liverpool? Mane plays on right wing. I am not saying Liverpool is a big big team but they have Mane in the position where Ox has experience.

Mein Bergkampf

I hope that opening question is rhetorical because I couldn’t answer it if I wanted to. Why is Ox putting people on benches?

Heavenly Chapecoense

Ox wouldn’t go there to replace Klopp even though the Mirror may have such title.


They do rely on Emre Can in Ox’s preferred position, and that guy didn’t exactly elicit much admiration last season.


Actually they have lallana , wijnaldum , Henderson , can , and even coutinho is rumoured to start playing in midfield next season onwards. He has a big on his hand to get in to that first team just like he has at arsenal. But ox has probably more potential than all those players and with klopps man management he can get the best out of ox.


he would probably play left back


Kick Walcott to Liverpool or now maybe west ham. Keep chamberlain. Nothing against Walcott I just think his time is up. Roll the 25 mil into wages for Sanchez or an out and out striker. I think the pairing of giroud and lacazette is intriguing to say the least.


Plus they just signed Salah, right?


I am reminded of the summer in which we all really wanted to sign Hazard, and instead got… Gervinho – at the least there were mitigating circumstances then as we didn’t have a pot to piss in.

Prediction: we sign Lacazette who does quite well against mid-table opposition, but barely registers against title-contenders and relegation-scrappers. Aubameyang signs for a direct rival and gets nearly into double figures against us alone, over the season. Everyone laughs, but no one is surprised.

Can’t wait for the new season 😐

DB10\'s Air Miles

I think you need a holiday…..


I’m on holiday! It hasn’t helped.


Take another one, further away from the evil of the internet.

Cliff Bastin

I found this worryingly funny.

Mein Bergkampf

Anyone else think it’s weird there has been almost no Ozil to … yet? World class midfielder, last year of contract, hasn’t committed to the club. Come on shitrags, surely there’s an ‘exclusive’ Mesut to Milan story just waiting to be lied about…


Nobody expects him to leave. They are trying to be believable with their lies.

The metro has probably printed it.


Guess nobody is interested in him. Probably want an offensive player who is more clinical and terrifying in front of goal.


Ozil is more terrifying one step away from goal


It’s not that surprising . Sanchez unlike ozil is game changer and works hard for the team on and of the ball. No top teams would want player like ozil who is not up for a fight. Besides ozil can only play as a no10 unlike players like Sanchez who is more malleable and can play in multiple positions. The time for pure no10 like ozil is over. So its not surprising that the only team linked with ozil was besinktas or something like that.it may have a big role in him deciding to continue his future with arsenal


Stop saying nonsense, Clins. If nobody wants Özil, then football is definitely dead.

A different George

I obviously don’t know as much about football as you, because I keep thinking that always being chosen by Arsene Wenger and Joachim Low (whether as a “pure no 10” or otherwise) must mean something.

The reason there are no transfer stories about Ozil, I suspect, is that the usual sources for such stories–players’ agents and hangers-on–have been told by Ozil that he is staying at Arsenal. I very much hope so although, as I said, I don’t know as much about football as you.

Heavenly Chapecoense

They have been told by Ozil that he is staying but the same Ozil hasn’t signed yet ?


I imagine it’s because he’s already agreed to everything and this on the pr by Arsenal. If Sanchez decides to leave, they’ll roll out that mesut decided to resign to make things a little easier. If Alexis decides to resign, then they can release the news together allaying our fears.

Mein Bergkampf

As long as clubs want Jonjo Shelvey, they’ll want Mesut Ozil.

Big sheezy

You heard it here first, jonjo is coming to the arsenal next season.


Comment of the year.


The reason there aren’t any transfer stories going around about Mesut is probably because he has a very classy agent who doesn’t play those stupid media games. Mesut is one of the best playmakers in the world and I’m sure lots of teams would want him if he were available. I’m hoping that if we strengthen the team, give him the number 10 shirt and a decent salary increase he will stay.

Arseblog superduperfan

Interesting. I tried to find a bit of info about his agent Dr. Erkut Söğüt (Mesuts agent). Highly educated and has one star in his roster. Also alot of his education is in London. It could be that it’s also in the agents mind that he wants Mesut to stay in London? Just speculating..

Cliff Bastin

The great shirt number shuffle? 10 to Ozil, 11 to Walcott, 14 to Mbappe.

Yes hope is the devil’s favourite poison 🙁

Heavenly Chapecoense

In the french national Deschamps has the following order for CF: Giroud then Mbappe then Griezmann played as CF then Martial then Lacazette or Gameiro. Lacazette not sure to go to Russia. Also, Wenger should sell Welbeck and keep Giroud.


Actually in the loo dropping a deuce while reading this

Foggy Bottom

I will gladly drive Giroud to the airport if it meant us getting Lacazette. We need a #9 that Ozil and Alexis don’t feel superior to, but on their level. Thank you HFB for your service, but Arsenal need to part with you in order to be in within a shout of challenging for top honors (and no, the FA doesn’t count).


Lacazette in same level of Alexis and Özil? lol, you don’t know jack about football

Foggy Bottom

You don’t know jack if you sincerely believe Giroud is better than Lacazette.

Mein Bergkampf

Why are you guys talking about Wilshere?

Andy Mack

FB, You said Lacazette was the same level as Ozil & Alexis.
No one said Giroud is better than Lacazette (Even if some people think he is, they didn’t say it).

Foggy Bottom

He was obviously implying it, no doubt ready to bring up the fact that Giroud is ahead of Lacazette in the French national team. But one has to wonder if Deschamps is a man of sound mind given the fact that he once had Gignac as his first choice striker.


Lol implying it? are you serious from the statement it seems like he was just countering your absurd idea that AL is at the same level as AS and MO.

Andy Mack

you’re seeing things which at there.
He made no such implication.

Mein Bergkampf

You had me up until ‘will gladly drive…’

Heavenly Chapecoense

Giroud would score more than 25 goals Giroud would score more than 25 goals with Chelsea or Liverpool or even Man U. Wenger’s inalterable endless passes in the final third system does not suit him. Giroud need crosses for headers or volleys. He could also be good in CF partnership like Owen and Heskey. Giroud is better than Heskey though.

Heavenly Chapecoense

Sorry for the repeated text, I blame my telephone but it might be my brain.


Giroud is better than Heskey?
Damn him with faint praise why don’t you?


I think giroud works best in a two striker system. He needs someone to play off of. If giroud goes to France which I hope he doesn’t he will score over 20 goals a season.

Andy Mack

So he should. There league has very few strong teams, so any good striker should get 20 odd per season.


Do not know why people think replacing a good efficient experience player for another makes more sense than just adding the other. Especially in a case where they are 2 totally different type of players. No plan B. If it were Lacazette for Walcott then I may understand the replacement of one for the other.
Just saying.

Stuck on repeat...

Completely agree Greaves.


Cant help but think Lacazette could be that clinical finisher who can actually put a decent % of all those Ozil chances away.
I think Mbappe is what we want cause its an expensive transfer and we get one over a big club like RM. But I think an established striker with several years proven goal scoring record… on end of Ozils creativity. I am frothing thinking about the possibilities.


Lacazette, Ozil and Sanchez should be a pretty tasty attack, with Ramsey bombing in from midfield. All 40m+ players.

What about Lacazette, Ozil, Sanchez and Theo/Ox in a front 4 if playing 4 2 3 1. How about if we get Mahrez as well …

I guess the other strikers would be Welbeck and Sanchez, with Iwobi / Ramsey / others for the two positions behind / #10.


Would be nice to get martial. I’d rather him than mbappe or lacazette. It ain’t gonna happen though.

Declan M

Not exactly set the world alight at Utd despite all the initial hype though has he? I’d prefer Lacazette – really good scoring ratio last season, even if it was ‘only’ Ligue 1/Europa. Given that we’re not going to get Mbappe/Griezmann/Aubameyang he’s the most realist option.


I would love to see Lacazette if for no other reason than he’s a lot further along that Martial at this point – but it’s also hard to write off Martial simply b/c he has to play for Mourihno who tends like big target men type forwards. It means Martial is getting stuck out on the wing all the time and Mourhino wingers really are like extra defenders most of the time.


You forget how martial was last season , he was electrifying . his runs with the ball was a thing of beauty and scored 20 goals from wings in his first season . He may not be playing this season , but its down to that shitty mourinho and his wierd unwritten laws regarding young players. Martial wasn’t given many chances this season by him ,only playing few and far games in between . so naturally he would be out of form. Besides this has thiery henry written all over . both Henry and martial was talented players being wasted… Read more »

A different George

Martial clearly has great talent but, even before Mourinho’s arrival, was very inconsistent, which is not that surprising given his age and the pressure put on him. He rarely made any impact for France. Mourinho has done his best to shatter his confidence.

Arsenal supporters who think Theo disappears or doesn’t track back would find Martial, so far, is much worse in those respects.


thing about martial is , as far as i understood he is not the most motivated player you’re going to see .and definitely not the most hardworking player defensively . and i agree that he disappears from time to time . managers like mourinho would’nt even look twice before throwing him of the team and buy another 50 milllion player . and thats exactly what happened . but as a talent i find martial to be atleast as good as mbappe , its just that he lacks the mentality that mbappe have to become the best . if wenger somehow… Read more »

Tasmanian Jesus

The only thing my Man Utd mate was satisfied with after the final LVG season, was Martial.
I think he can be very good, played up front for a team that plays like us.

Tasmanian Jesus

Not me. But I would have him with Lacazatte or Mbappe…I actually would love that!


i take Mbappe over Martial anyday…..except for the stupid price who make it a no no for us
Mbappe is better at the same age,he has already score more at monaco in less than 6 month, martial is talented still and has potential with the right coach…AKA not mourinho

lacazette is less talented than both of them but he clearly the only player of the 3 we can get this summer


just saying, Lyon is Benzema’s territory, Giroud going over there means he will be booed at every game, also, he’s been spotted in Lyon, bare in mind that he is born in Chambery (not far) and his family lives over there. Does Aulas spoke to giroud the same way Wenger spoke to him, oh wait in fact it’s Houllier who spoke to him, and probably someone who spoke to Houllier saying that Wenger spoke to his cousin about an interest on lacazette, anyway, no official call from the club, 9 in poo meter on every rumor


Wouldn’t sell Wally personally. Don’t see the point. 10 PL goals in 28 games, even if he doesn’t suit many games he does get goals which hardly any of the others manage to.

If you step back and think about it, if Giroud goes, and Walcott goes, and we count Alexis as going too. They’re our three top scorers, surely that would be an enormous gamble. Ox scored 2 PL goals. We desperately need to sort this out and have done since RVP. And selling isn’t the answer, surely. We need more, not replacement alternatives.

DB10\'s Air Miles

We also need to balance the books, where our wages are concerned.


Please God West Ham pay good money and rid us of Theo

Heavenly Chapecoense

Who would score the 19 goals ? Welbeck ?




Ox on his holidays….I’m sure he’ll sign up when he returns.
It would hurt so much to see him play for another club.

Non Flying dutchman

Ox will be kept with Walcott and Wilshere going.


Fellow Gunners, Mbappe in, Alexis out or Lacazette in, Giroud out, Alexis staying?

Indian Gooner

The President Lyon Football club is just one hard prick to crack..I swear!




Blogs you have missed the runniest of the poos. Get this..The Ox to that s*** down there. They are even discussing the merits and demerits of the Ox in their formation.Yikes!!


This aulas dude has started to piss me off.


He’s a nob

Non Flying dutchman

We should drop the interest in Lacazette in favour of Aubomyang, and tout Giroud out to other clubs. See how smart he is feeling then


We should piss him off by increasing our offer by 1 mil each week, and if he finaly agrees ask him for extra disscount. At yhe end drop the bid all toogether announcing that it was Aulas fault.

An Ox-sized Coq

Ox to the mugsmashers?!?

I wouldn’t sell him to Liverpool for all of King Midas’ silver!


Why not? He doesn’t score goals, he gives the ball away all the time, can’t concentrate for more than 20 minutes at a time, and like Walcott he starts putting an effort in when his contract is coming up for renewal. Most fans wanted him out at the beginning of the season but he had half a dozen good games at the end so now he’s irreplaceable? I’d rather keep him than Wilshere or Walcott, but if he has an attitude problem I’d have no problem with him going.

Stuck on repeat...

Disagree Vonnie. Thought the Ox was one of only a few standout players last season. One who actually upped their game when called upon to do so. Too many others went AWOL when called upon.

Keep the Ox & at least threaten to sell Walcott (hopefully that will wake him up). As for Wilshire I think it best for all that he moves on.


isn’t that what Vonnie is saying. He only stepped up when his contract was winding down. is this something we are going to see in the future ever season or just in 4th year of a 5yr contract? No one was saying last summer to give Ox a new contract. I like his versatility but he ins’t a star yet because he hasn’t been able to lock down a position and own it. Especially from his previous 2 seasons performances.


Lacazette and Martial or Mbappe?

Same money probably.

I’d go for option 1 just about.


Lacazette and Martial or Mbappe?

Same money probably.


Wenger should be getting Demirbay from Schalke.

Looks a good buy for midfield if you ask me.


I don’t think we should be selling Giroud. Lacazette to me is a different type of striker and we need both approaches. Welbeck has not done enough just yet to convince me he is as efficient as Giroud. Walccott on the other hand is more similar to Lacazette and we should sell him, realise some return before his chief asset “pace” starts to wane. Lacazette is a more nuanced and creative Walcott on the right if you ask me. Martial is a ressucitation ‘project’ Wenger cannot afford to have right now. IF Alexis leaves, he needs to find a better… Read more »


Seriously mate, what’s your obsession with schalke? You suggest in every single post wenger should buy draxler and konoplyanka. And now demirbay?

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