Yes, the decision to write this article was based solely on an opportunity to photoshop Stephan Lichtsteiner’s head on Rihanna’s body.
Yes, it is indeed the worst photoshop attempt of 2018.
Yes, we’ll hang our heads in shame.
But for now, I guess we better finish what we started.
Last week, Stephan Lichtsteiner said that according to some data – what data we don’t know – he has the physicality of a 28-year-old. Given that he’s 34-years-old, that’s not too shabby. We’d like the physicality of a fit and handsome 28-year-old…
Anyway, we’ve gone off on a tangent again.
Stephan hasn’t played much football this season but he’s expected to start tomorrow’s Europa League game with Vorskla. Ahead of the match, he was selected to face the media and he was immediately asked about how he stays so fit.
“The secret is work, work, work every day,” he told a room full of journalists. We like to think he was twerking at the time. We know full well that he was not.
Anyway, just to clarify, Stephan, the ultimate steely-eyed Swiss that he is, added: “To prepare good, to sleep good, to eat good, to be hungry each day.
“Even with many titles and at 34, I am still hungry to win, I am hungry to come to training each day, so this is the recipe for that.”
We’re starting to think that Stephan might just be a bit like Jens Lehmann, the type of guy who is so super-charged by internal burning anger at all times that he could suck the good humour out of any situation. We’re all for it.
On his competition for a starting berth with Hector Bellerin, Lichtsteiner made clear that as teammates their only concern is what is best for Arsenal.
“It’s not Hector v Stephan, it’s Hector and me for Arsenal, so we have to work together to improve each other, to get better each day, to make the team win and Arsenal as a club win.”